by Liz Lee
As his truck sped down her alley she told herself things were better this way, and she wiped away the tears because they were useless.
Chapter Fifteen
His brother really needed to get the hell out of his house.
“Go home, Rand,” Riley said. “You weren’t here to save the day and I sure as hell don’t need you here now.”
Rand just kept rummaging through his refrigerator like a man on a mission, grumbling to himself until Riley couldn’t take it any more.
His curse rang through the kitchen. “If you’ve got something to say, spit it out.”
Rand tossed a block of cheese on the counter top, then poured himself a tall glass of milk. “You’ve got lousy taste in food, big brother, and your crappy attitude has got to go. A week is enough.”
“You want different food, get your own. You got a problem with my attitude, go home.”
“Can’t do it.” Rand loaded slices of cheese on a paper plate and groaned when all he could find was whole-wheat crackers. “You know alcoholics can eat regular food, Riley. This healthy stuff stinks.” He flipped through radio stations until he found the baseball game then sat down in Riley’s recliner. “And why the hell don’t you have a television?”
Riley didn’t bother answering, just passed through the living area to his room, ignoring the half a candy bar on his dresser. He didn’t expect Rand to understand, and he wasn’t about to engage in a heart to heart. Besides, he didn’t figure his brother needed to know that he’d broken the TV when he’d seen that damn photo of him kissing Callah on some stupid entertainment news teaser.
Thankfully he hadn’t craved a drink during the last week, but he knew that could change. At least he’d had work to fill his time.
Olivia Duncan had disappeared off the face of the earth as far as he could tell. Jen Danelley and Colonel Crenshaw were back in DC, where Rand needed to be.
Flipping on an old Stevie Ray Vaughn CD, he sat in front of his computer and tried working on the column he’d promised Mack, but words about acceptance only mocked him.
The column was supposed to be about his battle with addiction. But everything he wrote came across as too pansy-assed or whiny. Excuses. Every bit of it. The truth was he’d quit living. He’d purposefully hidden in the bottom of a bottle because it was easier.
He still didn’t know exactly why he quit. Maybe just to prove his old man wrong. The God’s honest truth was he got tired of being sick in the mornings. Got tired of shaking until the next drink. For whatever reason, his rock bottom wasn’t all that bad.
But the rock bottom of alcoholism was nothing compared to knowing Callah was across town in that little house by herself searching for an identity. Like people searching ever found what they were looking for. Worse, Amber Jackson said Callah was moving back to California.
“Never pegged you for a quitter.”
Riley cursed at the sound of his brother’s voice, then closed his computer. No sense trying to write. “Je-sus, Rand, can’t you see I’m working?”
His brother leaned against his doorframe and crossed his arms looking bored and dangerous. “Nah. I saw you staring at a computer screen, and I figured I better tell you I’m leaving in the morning.”
“Thank God for small miracles. And I’m no quitter. You know it.”
Rand shrugged, but his face said he knew something else all together. “I know we all lived through hell as kids and you’ve let yourself be defined by an abusive man who needed to spend time in jail long enough to learn a lesson or two about smacking kids around.”
Ah hell. Rand was going to push this. “I’m not defined by him, Rand. I never was. We both know it. That’s what caused half the problems.”
“No, he was a son of a bitch. That’s what caused the problems.”
Yeah. Whatever. Riley wasn’t going to sit around talking about their past. It didn’t change things. Obviously his brother understood that because he leaned against the doorjamb and changed topics completely.
When Rand said the word Callah, Riley thought about socking his brother in the face. He settled for slamming the door. But he couldn’t block out his brother’s words. “They say the good ones are worth fighting for, Riley. You better decide if you want to fight for her.”
The next night Riley sat in his house drinking bottled water, eating chicken salad and feeling like total crap. Nothing on the radio. No one to talk to since Rand had gone back to D.C.. He couldn’t even close his eyes without seeing Callah.
Like a stupid teenager with a crush, he’d tried calling and she’d calmly told him to lose her number. And now here he was. Alone.
For the first time in his life he hated it.
Not for the first time.
Okay. Once upon a time he’d hated being alone. He’d watched other families with an ache he couldn’t fill. He’d wanted desperately to fit in. To be a part of something like that. Sparky had given him a place. The cantankerous old man had taught him how to refinish furniture, fish and clean like nobody’s business. He’d rescued him. But then he’d died, and over time Riley’d learned self-reliance was the only way to find true happiness. True success. So what was the problem?
He closed his eyes, saw Callah in the car with McBride’s gun pointed at her head, in the emergency room battered and sleeping, in her bed, laughing.
And suddenly, he knew exactly what he needed to do.
Callah heard the knock at her door and looked at the clock. Good grief. Five minutes to midnight. Who wanted to die?
She wrapped her robe tight, looked out the door and sighed.
Riley. Of course. Her stomach did its little Riley Sorenson loop-de-loop and she tried to ignore it and the knowledge that seeing him outside her door made her happy.
She opened the door, hands around her waist. “What?”
“Let me come in. Please.”
He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. She could see that determined look on his face. And seeing him there, she knew the truth. She’d missed him so much.
Opening the door wider, she stepped back. Tried to keep the nervousness from her voice. “Fine. Come in.”
He walked inside with a brown paper grocery sack, sidestepped the packed moving boxes. She raised an eyebrow as he held the bag out. “What’s this?”
“Open it and see.”
Callah looked at him then looked at the bag. She could give it back and send him away, or she could do what she desperately wanted and see what he’d brought her.
She opened the bag and couldn’t help but smile when she saw what was on top. Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. And not the waxy kind she had to eat most of the time these days. He’d packed the bag with the good stuff. All her favorites. She looked at him then. Couldn’t stop the question. “What?”
“Once upon a time, you said you’d do just about anything for chocolate, so I thought I’d start there.” His smile turned her heart inside out. But she couldn’t let this go on.
“Riley, I’m leaving…”
He didn’t let her finish. “Keep looking.”
Fine. If it meant so much. She put the bag on the kitchen table, pushed the chocolate aside and saw a scrapbook.
When she looked at him, he explained, “You said you wanted to find yourself.”
So he’d bought her a scrapbook? “I’m in yoga and therapy for that.”
“You can quit.” He pointed at the scrapbook. “That’s you. Look and see.”
She opened the first page, saw her toothless first grade picture smiling next to her name.
She turned the page and her heart tumbled as she saw the photo of her sitting with Olivia and David Duncan.
Page after page. Her birth certificate. The one with Callah Crenshaw on it. A picture of her and her father eating Dilly Bars at Dairy Queen. Her mother helping her carve a jack-o-lantern. Photos from her childhood. Then high school. Prom and Homecoming. The glory years. He was in some of those photos too. On the outside. Watching.
On and on
the photos went. Clippings from magazines. His story about her. Then photos again.
Then six blank pages. She looked up in question, her heart hurting at how much time he’d spent on this.
“I thought you might have more to add.”
She bit her lip and turned to the last page. Read what he’d written.
Laughing. Loving. Loyal. You are all of those. Maybe instead of finding yourself, you just need to be reminded of who you are. But if that’s not the case. If you need to go on this journey of self-discovery, I understand. I love you now. I’m sure I’ll love you after the journey too.—Riley
She closed the book and looked at the blank back.
He loved her. And she loved him. But it wasn’t enough. “It’s beautiful.”
“I worked hard on it.” He held up two bandaged fingers, and she laughed through tears she hadn’t even realized were falling.
“Riley, I’m leaving tomorrow.” He needed to understand.
“I heard.”
“I’m going back to school.”
“You’ll do great. Probably graduate top of the class.”
His acceptance freed her, and suddenly she had so much to say. They had such a short time. “I talked to Olivia. She’s gone. I don’t know if she’ll be back.” Funny how that hurt now. “My dad is back in D.C.. The charges were dropped.”
She could tell he knew all this. He knew more about her life than she did probably, but that didn’t matter. She just wanted to talk to him, to share.
“Riley.” She didn’t know what she was asking for, only that he was the one who held the answers.
And then he was there, standing beside her and pulling her close, lowering his lips to hers, and she wanted this moment embossed on her mind permanently. She’d need this memory to help her through the next few months.
“Don’t go.” His words were whispered against her mouth and she pulled back.
“What?”
Riley turned away for a moment and she saw his back tense as he blew out a long breath then faced her again, his eyes intense as he spoke. “I spent hours on that scrapbook telling myself it was okay if it was a goodbye. But it’s not okay, Callah. You don’t belong in California. You belong here. With me. Maybe you always have. I don’t know. What I do know is we can’t turn back time. We can only live in the present and plan for the future. I want you in my future. I meant what I said in the book. You don’t find yourself by searching. You do it by living. I love you, Callah. Don’t leave.”
As he spoke Callah saw something vital had shifted in him. He was still the strong man he’d always been. But there was a new awareness in him, a new confidence.
She did love him. And God knew she wanted to stay. She wanted to be with him, but…
Sensing her indecision, Riley walked forward and opened the scrapbook to the first blank page. “That’s where we start, Callah. If you stop running away, we can have this. We can make this work.”
She wanted to. So much.
“You’re an amazing man.” She whispered the words as he walked across the room. Took her in his arms again.
“And you’re an amazing woman. We make a great couple.”
“We do.” She met his eyes.
“Say you’ll stay. Give us a chance.” He said the words again and finally, she answered the only way she knew how.
“I love you, Riley. I love you so much. I’m just so afraid.”
He held her close, inhaled the daisy scent of her hair, and told her what he’d discovered. “I think that’s part of it.”
And then his lips were on hers and everything was right in Callah’s world.
All this time she’d been looking for herself, and she’d just needed to open her eyes to realize she wasn’t lost at all.
“I love you.” She smiled as she said the words again. Determined to say them as often as possible. And then they were both laughing, and she knew Burkette was home as long as Riley was there with her.
When he leaned down to kiss her once more, she heard his whispered, “You are one hot babe, Callah Crenshaw,” and she answered, “You are one crazy man, Riley Sorenson.” And then neither of them spoke for a long, long time.
Epilogue
Callah tried to stop her hands from shaking as she looked in the mirror. Her makeup, her hair, everything was perfect. Not even the press out front could ruin this day.
And still she couldn’t seem to stop shaking. Couldn’t catch her breath.
Oh God. She was going to….
Olivia settled the veil over her head. “You’re beautiful.”
Callah looked at her and tried to smile. “I’m so nervous. This is crazy.”
Olivia laughed. Slid her hand over the veil, smoothing it over Callah’s hair in a comforting touch. “New beginnings are always scary.”
Olivia would know about scary new beginnings. But look at her now. Beautiful in her own right. So strong it was scary, but still beautiful.
“I’m so glad you’re here.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” The door opened and Canon in D filled the room. It was time. Olivia helped Callah stand, shook the train out on her dress and then handed her the bouquet of daisies.
She gripped them hard in her hands, prayed she didn’t do something horribly embarrassing like trip on her dress as she walked down the aisle.
But then her father was there in full military dress, wrapping his arm around hers, keeping her steady. “You’re stunning, Callah. Absolutely stunning.”
She bit her lip to keep it from trembling. Whispered, “I wish Mom was here.”
She’d said the words quietly, but Olivia still heard. Turning slightly she smiled at Callah. “She is here, Callah. Trust me. She’s here and so is David. They wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Her father nodded in agreement then stood straight as the Bride’s March started. “We’re on,” he said, and the church doors opened.
And there at the front of the church stood Riley. So handsome in his black tuxedo. So strong. So perfect. In what seemed like seconds she was there beside him, meeting his eyes, not hearing a word the minister said.
He mouthed the words “I love you,” and she mouthed them back.
And when he took her hand in his, when he placed his ring on her finger, when they spoke their vows, she knew this was love. The real thing. Scary and wonderful and everything in between. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Other Liz Lee books
Texas Gold: Contemporary Romance
He’s a millionaire developer looking for the next small town to turn into the perfect getaway for Metroplex movers and shakers. Serendipity, Texas is just the spot.
She’s the small town rancher’s daughter determined to get in his way.
When they get together sparks fly.
Amazon link: http://amzn.com/B009N44LIG
If You Dare: Steamy Contemporary Romance
Fantasy meets reality when Cordelia Lewis takes her sister up on a dare and decides to live life on the wild side for a week. Escaping from the expectations of her small town life, Cordelia flies to Las Vegas. She’s still the same small town girl she’s always been, she’s just vamped up her life with a bad girl attitude.
Corporate lawyer Joe Sterling is on the road to riches with a junior partnership in his law firm right around the corner. A small town escapee, big city life is perfect for him. And when his neighbor asks him to show her sister how much fun big city life can be, he’s all for it.
Amazon link: http://amzn.com/B009N90N74
