by Jo Leigh
“He might be a man worth settling down for, Izzie. Giving up your dancing…wait, what the hell did you say is the name of this place you’re dancing at?”
She should have known that would interest her friend more than any potential romance. “It’s called Leather and Lace.”
“Holy shit, girl, you’re strippin’.”
“Yeah. I’m stripping. And I’m having the time of my life.” Well, the stripping wasn’t giving her the time of her life. Nick was. But she’d already talked enough about Nick.
Vanessa demanded all the details on Izzie’s secret life, not sounding the least judgmental, and asking a bunch of questions. “That sounds like fun. You know, I’ve thought about taking a strip-dance exercise class they offer at my health club, but there’s a waiting list.”
“You’re joking.”
“No, honey, I’m not. It is the hottest thing going-there’s a three-month long list to get in this class and everybody I know is putting their name on it. If you come back, you need to teach me how and maybe I’ll retire and we can start a school somewhere. Teach housewives how to shake their booties.”
Izzie laughed softly at that silly idea. Then she thought of the word Vanessa had used. If. “What do you mean, if I come back? Why wouldn’t I come back?”
Vanessa grew very quiet, as if working out what to say. Knowing her friend was street-wise in a way Izzie never had been, she very much wanted to hear it. Anything Vanessa put this much thought into had to be worth hearing.
Finally, her friend murmured, “Why would you come back here when the life you really want is there?”
“You think I want to be a baker for the rest of my life?” Izzie protested, shocked that her friend would even suggest it.
“I don’t know whether you want to be a baker or a stripper. A pizza-delivery gal or a ballerina. All I know is that whatever you end up wanting to do, it’ll be tied up with that man you’ve loved for half your life.”
Izzie’s jaw dropped. She flinched so hard the phone fell onto her lap. Scrambling to get it, she heard Vanessa’s words echoing in her head. Especially because they’d come so quickly-mere minutes-after Izzie had been tearing herself apart to try to figure out just what she felt for Nick.
She really shouldn’t have had to think about it so hard. She knew what she felt for Nick. It was the same thing she’d always felt for him, only deeper now, adult. Sensual. Mature.
Forever.
Vanessa was right. She loved him. Part of her knew she should resent that, since it had been what she’d feared-and why she’d thrown up walls between them when he’d first pursued her. But she already knew she didn’t regret it. How could she regret feeling so emotionally alive for the first time in years?
“You still there?” her friend asked when Izzie finally brought the phone back up to her ear.
“I’m still here.”
Vanessa chuckled. Then, in a very low voice, she added, “I better be in the wedding.”
Then all Izzie heard was the dial tone.
“HEY, LITTLE BROTHER, when are you gonna come talk to the business lawyer with me and Pop?”
Nick stared at Tony, who’d followed him out the front door of Santori’s Friday afternoon. He’d been planning to head up the block to Natale’s. He had a real taste for cannoli. The fresh kind that could only be found in Izzie’s kitchen.
Or in Izzie. But that was another kind of decadent dessert altogether.
“I dunno, Tony, I really haven’t thought about it.”
His brother frowned. “I don’t get it. I thought it was all set. You know how much Pop wants to retire completely.”
“Bullshit.”
Chuckling, his brother nodded in agreement. “Okay. We know he won’t ever get outta that kitchen until they pry his wooden spoon out of his hand for his own funeral. But I know he’s hoping to get you settled.”
Get Nick settled. It sounded so archaic. And constricting.
“If you’re worried about coming in as a financial partner rather than just a working one, I am sure willing to let you buy in with some of that money you said you saved while you were in the service.”
Honestly, that had been one of Nick’s big concerns. He didn’t want anyone covering his way, he liked to pay his fair share. And if he were seriously considering going into business with Tony, he would absolutely insist on those terms. He did have the money, he did have the desire to get involved in a successful business and help it grow.
But that business was not a pizzeria. He knew it in his heart. He just hadn’t figured out how to tell the family that yet. “I haven’t made any decisions.”
Tony met his stare, obviously trying to figure out what was going on in Nick’s head. Nick thought about how best to put into words that he didn’t want the life his family had mapped out for him. But before either of them could say anything, Nick spotted Izzie walking up the street, coming up behind Tony. Considering his big brother was a mountain of a man, she probably hadn’t even seen Nick yet.
The sight of her face brought a stupid smile to his. But he didn’t give a damn. At least, not until his brother turned to look over his shoulder at whatever had made him so happy.
“Whoa-ho,” Tony said, when he looked back at Nick. “Izzie? It’s Izzie? Holy shit, Gloria’s gonna love this.”
“Gloria’s not going to know about this,” Nick muttered. Izzie was not twenty steps away and if she heard what they were talking about, she’d probably bolt. Then ignore him for the next week until he could work his way around her defenses again.
Damn, but the woman was prickly.
“Why not? Cripes, the family’s been wanting you two to hook up forever.”
“That’s the problem. Izzie isn’t the kind of woman who likes to do what’s expected of her.”
Maybe that’s one reason they got along so well. Because Nick felt exactly the same way about his family. He just hadn’t been able to make that clear to them yet.
“Okay, I won’t do anything to jinx it. But I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep it from Gloria.” Tony grinned, shaking his head back and forth. “The woman can get anything out of me with her sexy…”
“Don’t want to hear it,” Nick smoothly interjected. He continued to watch Izzie, realizing the exact moment when she spotted him. A quick grin flashed across her face. But when she saw who was with him, the grin disappeared.
“Hi, Tony. Nick,” she murmured, reaching them. She sounded so cool and calm. As if she hadn’t been in a huge tub of warm bubbles and cold champagne with him twelve hours ago, loving each other until the water got cold and the champagne got flat.
God, what a night. Another amazing one in Izzie’s arms.
He didn’t know what he’d ever do without them.
“How’s it going, little sister?” Tony asked, giving her a one-armed hug. “Sorry I couldn’t make it to lunch at the folks’ house Sunday. Work-it kills me.” He glanced at Nick and wagged his eyebrows. “If only I had a partner to take up the slack.”
Nick managed to suppress a sigh. Then he turned his attention to Izzie. “I was just on my way to the bakery. I’m jonesing for something sweet.”
She chuckled. “I was last night, too. I almost dashed out and got a Ho Ho to tide me over until you…” She quickly snapped her mouth shut, remembering Tony was there.
His oldest brother had never been the king of tact. In fact, his wife affectionately called him Lunkhead. Well, usually affectionately. Right now, however, Tony managed to pull it off. “Well, it was great seeing you, Iz, but I have to get back to work. Nick, you’re gonna swing by the bank after you go up to the bakery and grab us some of Izzie’s fabulous cannolis?”
They had plenty of cannolis left in the restaurant, but, he assumed, it was the best Tony could do on such short notice. “Sure, Tony. You bet.”
They both watched Tony go back into the restaurant, with breezy
hellos and good wishes to every customer he passed on the way back to the kitchen. When they were alone on the sidewalk, Izzie continued to stare at the glass restaurant door. Finally, she murmured, “He knows, doesn’t he?”
Nick nodded. “Yeah.”
“How?”
With a helpless shrug, he told her the truth. “He saw the look on my face when I saw you walking toward me just now.”
She finally tore her gaze off the door and directed it toward him. Staring into his eyes, she searched for the meaning of what he’d said.
He didn’t try to hide it. He was in love with Izzie and his eyes affirmed that, even if his mouth didn’t.
He just didn’t know if she’d want to see the truth there.
He understood why she wouldn’t. Putting the reality of their feelings out there meant they had to deal with them. It meant she could accuse him of breaking their “secret lovers” deal and freeze him out of her life again.
It could also mean she’d acknowledge that she was falling for him, too. And that maybe they could make something work between them. Something good. Right.
Permanent.
“I can’t handle this, Nick,” she whispered, appearing stricken. “He’ll tell Gloria.”
“Not intentionally.”
“And she’ll blab to the known universe and the neighborhood will have me married and fat before winter and my parents will be eyeing a perfect little row house for us right up from theirs, getting our future kids on the waiting lists to go to Sacred Heart and St. Raphael’s.”
She sounded pained, as if the very idea of living that life devastated her. He understood why. Because he didn’t want it, either. Any of it. Oh, he wanted Izzie, no doubt about it. But as for how they lived? Well, it wouldn’t be like anything anybody on Taylor Street would understand.
But before he could reassure her, Izzie shook her head and started walking. “I can’t talk about this now. Not here.”
He fell into step beside her. “Tonight.”
“I’m going to my parents tonight. My sister Mia’s coming into town for the weekend and I had to promise to come for dinner-which I can’t do tomorrow or Sunday.”
In a normal relationship, she’d ask him to come with her. In a normal relationship, he’d do it.
They weren’t normal, of course.
“Call me when you’re done and I’ll meet you at your place.”
She hesitated, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. “I need a little time, Nick. Just a little time. Can we…maybe take a break until tomorrow?”
One night. She wasn’t asking for much. But the thought of going without her tonight nearly killed him.
“All right, Izzie.” He caught her arm, holding her elbow before she could stalk away. She looked frantically from side to side, as if to see if anyone was watching, but Nick didn’t release her. “Don’t panic,” he ordered her. “Don’t see trouble where there is none.”
She flashed him a grateful smile, murmured, “I’m mentally kissing you goodbye,” then tugged her arm free and walked away.
He mentally kissed her goodbye, too, until she disappeared into the bakery.
SPENDING FRIDAY NIGHT with her family actually turned out to be a very good experience. Izzie had been half-dreading it, since she’d felt like an alien among all of them since the day she’d gotten home. But something about this gathering was different. Maybe because Mia was home and therefore got a lot of the attention. Or because Gloria’s boys were there-the grandsons always caused everything else to cease to exist for her parents.
Or maybe it was just because Izzie forced herself to relax. Not having to talk a lot meant she didn’t have to watch every word she said. Didn’t have to worry about letting something slip regarding her dancing-which they all assumed she’d given up entirely because of her knee.
Not being so on edge actually allowed her to relax and, to her shock, even enjoy herself.
She was still mulling it over the next day, remembering the smile on her father’s face as he talked about returning to work soon. When he told her he’d been talking to his brother-who was about to retire-about coming to work with him at the bakery, Izzie began to see a silver lining in the cloud of her life. With another member of the family coming in to the business, the pressure would be off Izzie to stay involved. Maybe she could get back to something like a real life of her own.
Whatever she did-staying in Chicago or going back to New York, continuing to strip or giving it up-loving Nick or letting him get away-she knew she did not want to be a baker for much longer.
Nick tried reaching her a couple of times Saturday but she’d missed his calls. Not intentionally-the first time she’d been in the shower and the second she’d been waiting on customers at the bakery. By the time she had a minute to call him back, he’d been the one who hadn’t answered.
Still, not having spoken to him for more than a day-since that tense moment on the street when she’d realized Tony had stumbled onto the truth of their relationship-she was a little nervous. Heading to work at Leather and Lace, she immediately scanned the parking lot for his car, but didn’t see it. She was early-probably two hours earlier than she needed to be, and she knew it was because she was hoping he’d be here.
“Hi, Rose,” someone said as she came in the back door.
“Hi, Bernie. How’s the week been?”
The bouncer shrugged, offering her one of his big, boyish grins. “Knocked a few heads together, wiped up the ground with a drunk or two. You know, the usual.”
Laughing, she began to walk past him.
But he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. He glanced at the big canvas bag she carried, which was filled with some street clothes and supplies. “Can I help you in any way, Rose? Carry that? Get you some dinner?”
She shook her head. “You are so sweet, but no, honestly, I’ve got it.” The guy had been tripping over himself to take care of her since her first night at work. If he’d ever made a move on her, she’d suspect it was because he was interested. But he’d never been anything but a nice-if overprotective-friend.
Still smiling as she walked toward her dressing room, Izzie acknowledged just how comfortable she felt here. The club staff was like a second family already. Bernie and Harry. Leah and Jackie and the other dancers. They were all people she cared about, who seemed to care about her.
She didn’t want to give this up. Which was another reason she didn’t quite know how to deal with Nick’s seeming inability to watch her perform. It was as if ever since he’d become her lover, he no longer liked her doing her job.
That was how it seemed. But she couldn’t be sure. “Maybe he really is just busy,” she mumbled, trying to convince herself.
When she reached her dressing room, she put her new key in the new lock and twisted it. Before going inside, however, Leah stopped her. “Hey, I feel like I’m always picking up your presents!” the grinning girl said. She held up a gold foil wrapped box. “Yum. Have I told you how much I love chocolate?”
Izzie glanced at the box, looked down at her own full hips-at least an inch bigger than they’d been when she moved back from New York-and sighed. “Have I told you how much chocolate sticks to my hips and butt?”
The one plus was that the candies were chocolate-covered cherries. And she wasn’t too crazy about them. If they’d been caramels, she’d probably be much more tempted to grab a fistful. As it was, she easily waved them away. “Take them out of my sight, would you?”
Leah clutched the box to her chest. “Woo-hoo! Remind me to watch for the next jewelry box heading your way.”
Entering her dressing room, Izzie slowly slipped out of her clothes and put her robe on. She took her time-there was lots of it. Over the next hour, she got ready for her night. The chatter of women’s voices from the greenroom couldn’t drown out the sound of lots of footsteps walking in the lounge above her head. Customers were already po
uring in, performers already on stage judging by the low bass beat she could almost feel reverberating in her chest.
The whole place felt alive and vibrant. Exactly the way she felt when she was here. The only other time she felt as good was when she was with Nick. What on earth was she going to do if he couldn’t take her working here anymore?
“Don’t think about it,” she reminded herself as she glanced at her watch. She’d been here over an hour and he still hadn’t come in. Which was making her very jittery.
Izzie forced everything else out of her head and finished putting on her makeup. Her audience might not see much of her face, but that didn’t mean she didn’t cover the stage makeup basics. She was puffing anti-shine powder on her cheeks when she heard a knock on her door. “Come in.” Almost holding her breath, she let it out with a pleased sigh when she saw Nick. “Hi.”
“Hi yourself,” he said. He pushed the door shut behind him, bent down and kissed her on the mouth. Quick, hard…hot and sexy. “Been needing that,” he said when he finally straightened.
“Me, too.
“Want more later.”
She grinned. “Me, too.”
“Things are already heating up upstairs, but I wanted to see you before it got too crazy.”
Izzie turned away, slowly lifting the powder puff to her face again. “Do you think it’ll be too busy again for you to be there during my numbers?”
Nick met her eyes in the mirror. “I don’t know,” he muttered. “I can’t promise anything.”
He was still hesitant, she heard it in his voice. Nick was avoiding having to acknowledge how he really felt-was going to feel-about her stripping. Izzie wanted to cry, sensing she knew what that answer would be.
He’d hate it. Sure, he’d been fine with her taking her clothes off when she was a stranger. But now that they were lovers? Well, if he was like every other male of the species, he was going to turn into the caveman he’d once jokingly pretended to be and get all overbearing. He’d want her to quit, he’d be surly and pouty until she did.
