Christmas Babies

by Mona Risk

  Madelyn stared at the phone, her pulse erratic. Why was she so anxious? The CPS social worker would probably tell her she appreciated the care given to the babies. She might even announce Madelyn could keep them another three months.

  Determined to be positive, she slipped out of bed, showered, and got dressed. Celia wailed and Liana echoed. “Your turn, girls.” She cleaned them and dressed them in pink today.

  “Breakfast is coming.” She put the warm bottles on her night table and laid the babies in the middle of her bed. After climbing back in bed, she raised the pillows against the board, nestled Celia against her left side and gave her a bottle, then reached for Liana. Both babies comfortably secured in her arms sucked with amazing energy.

  Madelyn chuckled at their slurping noises. “Next week, I’ll give you an official checkup and I’ll record the data for Louisa.” Not that they needed any more checkups. Madelyn had weighed them every other day, listened to their hearts, lungs, and bellies with her stethoscope when she changed them at night, and peered into their throats for any sign of infection.

  “You are the healthiest babies in the world, sweetie pies.” When they finished burping, she settled them in the stroller. “Now, you’ll stay with Mommy while she has breakfast and takes her pills.”

  Before Madelyn had time to brew a cup of coffee, the door bell chimed announcing their visitor. “Come in, Ms. Mantay. Would you like a cup of coffee?”

  “Nothing, thank you. Did your mother leave?”

  “Yes, last night.”

  “How are you handling both babies on your own?”

  Annoyed at the patronizing tone, Madelyn frowned. “Perfectly well. Why wouldn’t I?”

  The social worker surveyed the living room. It was neat and bright. Thank God, Nick had helped when he returned from the airport. Together, they’d tidied the place and stowed the china and silver in the kitchen cabinets.

  Louisa bent over the stroller to peer at the babies. “Here are the Willis babies.” Madelyn gasped at the appellation but gritted her teeth. “They sure look healthy. Good.” She turned toward Madelyn, and looked her straight in the eyes. “I have good news that will make you as happy as I am for these orphans. We have a family that wants to adopt both of them.”

  Madelyn’s throat constricted and her vision blurred. “Ad...adopt them?”

  “Yes. They are ready to take them as of February 1st.”

  A bullet fired at her wouldn’t have hurt as much. Louisa wanted to take her babies. Give her little angels to unknown people. No way. Madelyn blinked several times to suppress her tears and stepped in front of the stroller to protect her children. Unable to think clearly, she blurted, “But my contract is till the end of March.”

  “Dr. Ramsay, this form I filled wasn’t an official contract. You didn’t accept money. It was just a volunteer service on your part.”

  Of all the unfairness in the world, she was penalized because she didn’t want to take money from the agency. She wouldn’t cry, wouldn’t collapse now. She’d fight to protect her babies, the angels she loved so much.

  Anger simmered and burst in her chest. “What type of people are these? I’m not giving my babies to some couple who can’t take good care of them.”

  Her lips pinched, Louisa observed her for a moment. “They are very mature people. They have been married for two years. The wife is in her mid-forties and the husband in his late fifties.”

  “They’re too old. Why have they waited so long to adopt?”

  “She has three grown-up kids, two married and one in college, from a previous marriage. The husband is a stockbroker with plenty of money. This is his third marriage. He badly wants kids, heirs to his fortune. But his wife is not ready to go through a pregnancy now,” Louisa explained. “Adoption is a good solution for them. The Willis babies will be pampered and live in luxury.”

  They’re not the Willis babies. Their names are Celia and Liana, she wanted to shout at the dense woman. “If she doesn’t want to go through a pregnancy, how will she handle two babies?” Nick’s confidences about his childhood popped into Madelyn’s mind. Lot of money and no love.

  “She has the perfect solution.” Louisa’s smile grated on Madelyn’s rattled nerves. “She’s already hired two nannies. One for each baby. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  Her breathing labored, Madelyn glared at the woman. Her hands fisted. How she wanted to punch her, but violence wouldn’t help. The woman was doing her job.

  Madelyn heaved a deep breath to calm down and think clearly.

  “Ms. Mantay, I realize you’ve been doing your best to help these babies. I appreciate your good heart. I’m sure you’ll understand me when I say I’ve become very attached to Celia and Liana. I love them as if they were my own.” Her voice broke, but she stiffened. “Is there any way I can keep them?”

  Louisa’s features softened. “I know you love them and you did a great job with them. But CPS can’t leave them in foster care when a suitable family is ready to adopt.”

  “Okay, can I adopt them? Doesn’t a foster parent have priority in the adoption procedure?” Louisa and her CPS were officially responsible of the babies. There should be some loopholes, some way to compromise with them.

  “Foster parents do. But not a single foster mother. It’s always better for a child to have a mother and a father.”

  She couldn’t agree more with this theory. But these were her babies. The only ones she’d ever have. She couldn’t let go.

  “Dr. Ramsay, you knew that eventually the babies would be put for adoption. You have personally insisted I find them a good home, that they should not be separated. I did my best to satisfy you.” She touched Madelyn’s hand. “I can feel your pain,” she said gently. “But whether you keep them till February or March won’t make a big difference to your feelings. You’re young, Dr. Ramsay. One day you’ll get married and have your own kids.”

  Unable to utter a word, Madelyn stared at her.

  “I have to go now. I’ll call you next week, if I have more news.”

  Rooted in place, Madelyn watched her go. When the door closed behind the woman, she kneeled in front of the stroller. Holding two little hands, she covered them with kisses. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she sobbed. Only last night, she thought it was the most beautiful Christmas of her life. She had Nick and she had babies.

  Some Christmas. It was turning into the worst nightmare of her life.

  Her crying awakened the twins and they chorused together in a sad concert. When she let all her tears out of her system, she rose. “Darlings, we can’t continue to cry.”

  She picked up Liana, and hugged her before changing her, then took care of her twin. These babies had become the center of her universe and knew how to pull the strings of her heart. How could she let them be taken from her?

  How could she keep them?

  Her mind resonated with the two questions as she frantically searched for plausible answers. “We have to find a solution. But first we better eat. Right?”

  She’d forgotten to take her pills in the morning. As if she needed a relapse to complicate their difficult situation. The fridge overflowed with delicious leftovers, but Madelyn’s stomach rebelled. “Mommy will have a glass of milk with you, girls, and a piece of bread before taking her medicine.”

  Babbling with the babies restored some calm to her heart. Once they were all fed, she rolled the stroller to the balcony and slumped onto a lounge chair. It was a gorgeous December day, with seventy-something degrees in sunny Florida. The nice breeze and the smell of the ocean soothed her tired nerves.

  What if she tried to contact the prospective parents and explained the situation? Don’t be naive. They wouldn’t care about her explanations. Besides, no one at the CPS would give her the time of the day. They’d just raise a confidentiality flag.

  If only she had more time to tell Nick her feelings had shifted from friendship to love. To convince him marriage wasn’t a bad idea anymore. Two days ago she’d daydream
ed of them being together forever. Of seducing Nick even. She couldn’t get pregnant but with the two babies they’d have a family guaranteed. Now only emptiness awaited her. A bleak future.

  What if she asked Nick to marry her, temporarily, until she adopted the babies? She’d promise a marriage in name only. She’d promise not to hinder his freedom, and she’d give him an annulment or a divorce as soon as the adoption was signed.

  Darn, she was losing her mind. Why would he complicate his life for a woman who couldn’t have children?

  Realistic questions and crazy answers swirled in her head.

  Her thoughts flew to her previous life when career came before marriage and family. Could she go back there? Not here in Florida where she had such a lifetime of love and good memories packed in a single month. A bout of tears threatened to overwhelm her. She raked her hair, sniffled, and bit her lip. If she lost Nick and the babies, her only way not to plummet into depression would be to go far away. She’d leave Florida, travel to Africa and help save babies in need.

  Exhausted physically and emotionally, she curled in the lounge chair. Gazing at the sweet faces in the stroller, she lost track of the time.

  Chapter Eleven

  Nick banged on the door several times and then opened it with the spare key she’d given him. “Madelyn,” he bellowed.

  Where was she? She hadn’t answered her cell phone when Sandra had called her in the morning. He’d tried later to no avail. He noticed the open balcony and exhaled in relief. She was enjoying the nice weather. Good for her.

  He strode outside and froze. What happened to his Madelyn? Eyes reddish and swollen, hair mussed, body slumped in the lounge chair, and a whole air of despair about her.

  “Madelyn.” He squatted beside her and felt her pulse. Normal. Thank God, she didn’t have a seizure.

  She opened her eyes, stared at him, and shifted her gaze to the babies. Her lips curled down.

  “What happened?”

  “Louisa came. She found an adoptive family for our babies.”

  A knife speared him. He loved those little dolls. “So soon?” That explained Madelyn’s gloom.

  “They want to take them on February 1st. How can I let them go?”

  As if she had a choice. They always knew the foster parenting was only a temporary situation. Like her he’d thought, it would last three months and they’d have more time to ponder their feelings and make different arrangements.

  He couldn’t reassure her with platitudes. But he had to do something to alleviate her stress. “Let’s go downstairs and picnic on the beach patio. Your mother left us plenty of food and the weather is gorgeous. We’ll discuss our options.” He held a hand to help her up. “I’m going to change and be right back.”

  “How come you’re in scrubs?”

  “Sandra and I called you several times. I got worried and came as soon as I was out of the OR.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t pay attention to the phone.”

  “You were crying?”

  She pinched her lips and averted her eyes.

  “I’m hungry,” he said to distract her. “Can you warm us some cannelloni and turkey, please? Don’t forget the fudge brownies and pastaflora.”

  She smiled and nodded. Relieved that he’d cracked through her dejection, he rolled the stroller inside.

  Fifteen minutes later, he returned to her apartment in swim trunks. She had changed into a sundress. The see-through material gave him a glimpse of her bikini clad form. He swallowed.

  Could he take her in his arms and kiss her? Would it appease or distress her?

  “The food is ready. Even the babies’ bottles. I changed them. How are we going to carry all that?” Her brisk tone warned him she was upset and hurt.

  He put a lid on his lusty thoughts and promised himself he’d find a way to soothe her. “I brought a cart.” He stacked the boxes of food, basket of fruit, paper plates, plastic cutlery, and bottles.

  On the beach patio, only one table was occupied. He chose a table at the opposite end, with enough shade provided by a large umbrella. No one swam today in the cold ocean and a few snowbirds ambled along the shore. Good, they’d have the beach practically to themselves.

  Madelyn spread a plastic table cloth and he set their meal. Happy to be in diapers and shirts, the babies smiled and kicked their naked legs. Nick chuckled at their antics. Madelyn bit her lip and lowered her head. It should have been a lovely time.

  But it wasn’t.

  They ate in silence while he thoroughly rehearsed the right words to tell her. Wanting no interruption when he’d talk to her, he fed the twins and made sure they slept comfortably, well protected from the sun by a blanket attached to the stroller canopy.

  He spread a beach towel on the sand and took off his t-shirt. He caught her gaze skimming his chest and suppressed a smug smile.

  She slid off her dress.

  “Lovely.” Not fair. Half-lying on the towel, he inhaled and stared. “Why have you been hiding all these years?”

  A furious blush covered her cheeks. “Lusty thoughts won’t get you far.”

  He chuckled. “No, but you should come and sit here.” He patted the towel.

  She sauntered to the sand and dropped next to him. His fingers itched to touch and caress. He kept them occupied and played with shells for a moment.

  The hell with shells. His arm extended behind her back.

  “Madelyn, darling, I can’t stand to see you sad.” He lowered her down and brushed his lips over her cheeks and temples.

  “I can’t help it. I’ve tried to think rationally. It’s not working.” Dark shadows dimmed the usual liveliness of her green gaze.

  “What do you exactly want?”

  “How can you ask that?” Indignant, she raised her head, but he pushed her back gently. “You know I can’t have children. Either because of the side effect of my medicine or because I’m single. If I can’t keep Celia and Liana, I’ll go to Africa, to a faraway place where sick babies will need me. And I will try to forget the past.”

  He sobered. “Forget about me, too?”

  “Don’t torture me, Nick,” she whimpered.

  He heaved a deep sigh. “Do you really want to adopt the babies?”

  “Yes, if they only let me. I love them so much. The couple who’s going to adopt them reminds me of your parents. They’ve lined up two nannies to take care of them. The prospective mother doesn’t want to spoil her figure with a pregnancy.” His usually cool Madelyn hit her flat belly in disgust. “Like you when you were small, Celia and Liana won’t be happy with selfish parents.”

  “What if another couple comes along—a loving selfless man and woman whom we can trust to give the twins the TLC they need? Would it make a difference for you?”

  She frowned and sat.

  He scrutinized her face to read her feelings. “I can talk to the CPS director and explain that this adoption was too rushed. Suggest the circumstances might not be ideal. They may find some other couples on their list.”

  “You could do that?” Her voice chimed with hope.

  “It’s a risk, because the CPS may not find other adoptive parents who would take both babies.”

  “Oh.” Deep in her thoughts, she wrinkled the corner of the towel.

  “What about us, Madelyn?”

  “Us?” She opened wide eyes, simmering with confusion.

  “You’re too important to me. I don’t want to lose you.” He cupped her cheeks.

  “Nick, are you saying that... that...” She looked at him, hope and longing in her eyes, waiting for more.

  “The babies are precious, but you, Madelyn, you’ve become part of my life. I love you, darling.”

  “Oh Nick, I love you too. But what about your no marriage, no commitment?”

  “You said as much. We were both fools. I changed my mind. I’m committed to you now. Will you marry me?”

  “Nick, I can’t give you children. It wouldn’t be fair.”

  “Just say ye
s.”

  “I can’t cheat you of having your own kids.”

  “Let me be the judge of that. There are many solutions to each problem. You can stop working for six months while you go off the medicine. Or you can have surgery. Or we can adopt. I love you, darling.”

  She smiled, tears wetting her eyes. “I love you too.”

  “Say yes.”

  “Yes, Nick, I will marry you.”

  “I’ve been in love with you for the last five years. I had to hide my feelings because you didn’t seem interested.”

  “I was attracted to you, but I was afraid any relationship would interfere with my career. Now I know better.”

  He gathered her in his arms for a long tender kiss that soon set the beach on fire. Even the babies felt the heat and screamed.

  Madelyn pulled away. “What about Celia and Liana? I love them too much, Nick. I can’t let them go. Even to a suitable couple.”

  “Then we will fight to keep them.”

  “What do you mean? How?”

  “I’ll pull some strings. I know friends of my father who can stop this rushed adoption. Trust me, I’ll do my best for them.”

  “I knew you could help. I even thought of seducing you to get you to marry me and help the babies.”

  “Don’t waste time, darling.” He offered her a big grin. “Seduce me right away.” He claimed her lips while the babies yelled at the top of their little lungs.

  ****

  “Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Did you finally have a chance to sleep?” Nick’s husky words ended in a big yawn at the other end of the line.

  “You bet. Even Santa Claus himself wouldn’t have been able to wake me up.” Christmas Eve had been the busiest night of the month at the Women’s Clinic with two emergencies and too many deliveries. “Actually I woke up a moment ago around four o’clock.” Madelyn rubbed her forehead to soothe her terrible headache. What a bummer. To spend Christmas Day asleep.

  She’d brought the twins to the clinic and let them spend the night in her call-room with their new babysitter Vicky. At least, Madelyn had been able to check on them between deliveries.

  “I’m taking a rain check on our private Christmas dinner.” Nick’s plans to meet in the cafeteria for a tête-à-tête on Christmas Eve never materialized as doctors and nurses kept rushing from one OR to the other. “This week is going to be crazy with too many staff on vacation.”