A photo of Jordana. The first one was taken while she talked on her cell phone. The second showed her walking out of her apartment building. The third of her smiling as she left the doctor’s office with her spunky co-worker. He lifted a sharp gaze to his mother’s implacable face. Incredulity collided with bafflement. “Are you that bored, Mom? Stalking the women in my life? What the hell did you do?”
“Calm down, Logan. It had nothing to do with boredom and everything to do with following my instincts. At the award party, Rachel not-so-subtly told me you were in love with her. So I hired Bart Stiner. Since you never tell me anything, I had to know all I could about the girl who’s had your attention for weeks. I wanted to make sure you knew everything about Jordana Shaw before you invested more attention on her.”
“That’s your reason?” He held up the stack then slammed it on his desk. “You don’t think I can get to know a woman on my own? Unbelievable. I don’t even know how to respond to this.” Though he tried to remain composed, he was floored his mother would go to such lengths. She’d never, at least not to his knowledge, had any of the women in his past followed or photographed. He’d vastly underestimated her. First, the phone call to Dad, now this. The mystery of Jordana must’ve eaten away at his mother’s curiosity until she fairly pulled her hair out. “Jordana is none of your business. What she does on her own time is none of mine.”
“Of course it’s your business,” she insisted. “And you are my son, so therefore until I’m dead and buried, you are mine. Who you associate with, who you romance around town—whether or not you admit it—matters, Logan.”
“For the love of…this is outrageous. She’s works for an ENT doctor for Christ’s sake. Take these and go home.”
Deidre pointed at the pile of photos. “I’m not leaving until you see all of the photos.”
Clenching his jaw, Logan entertained her with supreme ambivalence, and shifted through the rest of the pictures. Several close-ups, capturing Jordana unawares. Taking his time, gazing at her, his heart tugged with longing. How he missed her. Those eyes, her laugh. The ever-present ache expanded in his chest. His heart pounded, but he maintained his cool. It wasn’t until he got to the last few did he finally understand why his mother demanded he go through the whole stack.
Jordana standing on her balcony, but not alone. A man’s arms wrapped around her waist from behind. Logan’s throat closed. The next photo, with her profile averted, as if the young man whispered in her ear. Following that, she was completely in his embrace. The final three photos were of him kissing her, grasping her face as if desperate for her lips.
He knew that feeling.
Jealousy shot sharp and hot in Logan, followed by a grief so poignant, he had to fight to keep his air of indifference going. His mother narrowed her blue eyes, a hint of tight satisfaction on her mouth.
“She’s involved with someone else, Logan,” she explained needlessly.
Ignoring her, he glanced at the date and time printed in the corner.
Less than a week after she broke it off with him.
That was fast. Perhaps this was the real reason why. The unknown man kissing her. He wished he didn’t give a shit. “It hardly matters who she’s involved with now. We broke up before this photo was taken.” The words came out as though from someone else, disconnected, while his thoughts raced.
Deidre cocked her head. “I see. So she told you about her fiancé? No…I can see she didn’t. I’m sorry Logan, but it’s true. She’s been engaged to the boy you see in the picture. Stiner talked to him. He said the boy told him he went overseas for a few months and just got back, and that Jordana is his fiancé.”
A roar went off inside Logan, a physiological explosion. Couldn’t be true. How could she be engaged and he not know? His silence fed his mother’s achievement. “Did your professional sneak ask Jordana about this fiancé too?”
“What for?” she arched. “The pictures clearly are all the proof you need. At least she had the decency to end your relationship before it went too far. Well, things are as they should be. I don’t know why you were dallying with her anyway. She would’ve never fit in your world.” She paused, as if waiting for him to agree. He didn’t. She rose with a smile of gratification. “I thought she actually meant something to you, but thank goodness she was just a short affair. In any case, if you were entertaining thoughts of rekindling your relationship, now you can focus on a woman you can actually have a future with. Had I known you were on the search for someone new, I could’ve introduced you to two dozen women far more to your lifestyle.”
His lifestyle? How his mother hit just the right buttons. “Mom. I love you, but let’s get a few things straight. I have no intention of pursuing any woman you have in mind. If you’re expecting a thank you for bringing this to me, you won’t get it. From now on, don’t ever have a woman I’m involved with investigated like some spy. Whom I choose to spend my time with, and whatever life she may lead, is none of your concern. Ever. Period.”
She frowned delicately. “Don’t use that tone with me. I’m just a mother looking out for her son.”
If only he could believe that. This wasn’t the first time she’d pulled something outrageous. It’d just been so long he thought she wouldn’t do such things anymore. He rose, walked around, and brushed an impersonal kiss on her cheek. “Your idea of ‘looking out’ doesn’t suit me. It’s only because you’re my mother I’ll let this slide. I mean it,” he warned her softly as he opened his door. “Don’t do this again.”
She nodded stiffly, patted his cheek with an expression of dignified shame, and walked out. It took a great deal of inner strength not the slam the door after her. He could barely reign in the rage, the urge to throw a chair across the room, hit a wall with his fist. Coming around his desk, gaze locked on the photographs, he fought against the rising well of emotions clawing to discharge.
Engaged?
Skimming his fingertips over the glossy photo of Jordana’s face, a twisted, poisonous ball of despondency and mystification conformed within. Had everything about her been a lie? Did he ever know Jordana at all? He stared at her. In a few of the last pictures, he observed a sadness in her gaze, tiredness in her features. The almond-shapes appearing near gray in this colorless capture, but he recalled the soft green and flecks of brown in the irises, the thick lashes that surrounded them. Even in a still, flat picture, her gaze shone through straight to his soul.
Fooled again. By a woman he cared about.
He closed his eyes. When was he going to learn?
Nevertheless, this was his final test. A raw and primitive bitterness seized him, burning off the last fragile belief he’d found someone worth taking that leap for.
He should’ve known better. She’d been too good to be true and his feelings for her too strong, to represent anything but a temporary fiction.
Jordana, for whatever reason, had used him. But why? Cold feet before her wedding? Misgivings of her fiancé’s devotion? His long absence overseas had no doubt made her lonely.
Perhaps she just wanted a fling before her vows and saw in him an ideal target. Probably made it all the more fun for her watching him pant after her like a sex-starved Neanderthal. The thought hollowed him out, made him sick.
All that talk about wanting more, not trusting he wouldn’t hurt her, insisting they weren’t meant to last...
With a violent shove he swiped the papers from his desk and leaned on his knuckles. All those excuses were so she could get out cleanly and make him the bad guy. Obviously her fiancé had come home and she wanted to end things without telling Logan the truth.
And what a goddamn fool he turned out to be. There he was, pleading for a second chance, apologizing over and over, desperate to keep her a little longer, to hold on to her. Making calls and offering favors so her dream of being published would come true. Tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. She’d becom
e not just a want, but a need.
And he needed no one.
He straightened his posture and the walls of his heart locked around itself with permanent force.
Forget the phone call to Triton Press. At this point, he didn’t care what they decided. She’d find out on her own if she got the contract. He had a million other things to focus on, things he’d neglected because they seemed unimportant next to winning her back.
Never again would he allow a woman to have such a hold on him. How the hell did that even happen? She was nothing but a plus one and a weekend lay, right? Isn’t that what she said? That’s all she really was to him in the end. Well, if and when he felt the desire to fill that role again, he could with ease.
There was no room for anyone else. Least of all another beautiful, two-faced, manipulative liar.
There.
That attitude was much safer, fitting, much more…like him.
Gathering the photos from the floor, he hardened his heart, sauntered to his paper shredder and destroyed them one by one.
Chapter Nineteen
The Bridges of Marin County gala was tonight.
Three times Jordana had stared at her fridge calendar at today’s date with the big red circle drawn around it.
The flowers Logan sent over a week ago had wilted, but her longing for him had yet to. She’d memorized the card he’d sent along with the two dozen beautiful white roses:
I miss you. I ache for you. Do you still feel the same? I’ll be attending the Bridges ball alone but perhaps you’ll grant me a second chance and meet me there. I’m sending a car for you and the driver has instructions to wait until you send him away or accept the ride. I hope you do.
Yours, Logan.
I miss you. I ache for you. The man knew how to start a note with a bang.
She groaned with gritted teeth, planting her hands on her head as headed for her living room. Why was she even considering it?
A knock on her door startled her.
She checked through the peephole, perplexed to see who stood on the other side. Opening the door, she blinked. “Neil.”
He wore a tuxedo and a friendly smile. “May I come in?”
Her heart tripped. Was he alone? She cast a glance over his shoulder. “Is Logan with you?” Could he have sent Neil along with a limo too? It wasn’t even five o’clock.
“I’m here on my own,” he informed her. “I need to speak with you. It’s important.”
She raised her brows and she stepped back. “Okay.” As he sauntered by her, she asked, “How did you know where I lived?”
“It wasn’t hard.” He gave a cursed glance around her apartment.
Well that was vague.
“You should sit down,” he suggested. At her look of wariness, he explained, “I prefer to say everything with you sitting.”
A feeling of dread came over her. People asked you to sit down when they were about to share bad news. “What’s this about?”
“First off, if Logan knew I was here, he’d probably break my jaw, but I couldn’t think of what else to do. I just knew I had to do something.”
“Do something…about what?” she asked taking a seat on the edge of her sofa.
“I will start off by saying yes, my friend is guilty,” he proclaimed, clasping hands behind his back. “He said some things that not only hurt you, but caused you to sever a future relationship with him. I’m here to tell you why you should reconsider.”
Oh boy. Had he really come on his own cognition? She found that hard to believe, but also couldn’t fathom Logan would send him on his behalf either. “Neil, not to be rude, but it’s none of your business.”
“Unfortunately, you made it my business when you flipped my closest friend inside out. He’s been acting like a moody prick and, to be frank, it’s all because of you.”
“Me? No. We ended things weeks ago. His mood could be stress from the Hamilton client,” she shrugged, “or his mother pressuring him to date some actress. Or the new office they’re opening in Dallas.” These were just guesses, but she knew she wasn’t the cause of his moodiness.
Neil gestured at her. “The fact you know even one of those things proves I was right to come here. Trust me, you’re the cause. He’s handled dozens of difficult clients. And his mother keeps stress on tap whenever she comes around and he’s managed it all his life. None of those things have ever brought him down like this. He’s too strong a person. Not, however, when it comes to you.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but he continued before she could say a word.
“He’s ornery, quick-tempered, and restless. Quieter than usual. I mean, I know I’m a talker, but he usually has some comment to make. Lately, it’s been nothing but annoyed looks and stone silence. And he doesn’t eat. Not really. He’s got these dark circles under eyes so I know he’s not sleeping either.”
The Logan he described didn’t sound like the one she knew either, but there must be an explanation other than her absence in his life. Right? Neil had to be exaggerating; he was a lawyer after all. She crossed her arms, imagining Logan with a temper, without appetite. Sympathy threaded through her heart. “He doesn’t sleep well anyway. A few hours, four or five at most,” she murmured.
He smiled at her. “Something else only you would know. It’s more obvious now than it ever was. Look, you have every right to be angry for the things he said, and personally I don’t blame you for thinking he couldn’t be trusted after that.”
She raised her gaze to his. Neil knew the details of their breakup?
“Yes, he told me,” Neil remarked as if he could read the question in her eyes, “but only because I goaded it out of him. I’m the man’s best friend, but even so, he’s a very private person. Always has been. Even in college, no one could say they really knew what he was thinking.” He tucked a hand in his pocket. “Mystery only fuels gossip, Jordana. There are a lot of folks who would love to hear about Logan Savant’s personal life. That day, when you heard him and Katherine, he was protecting himself and you.”
“But,” she raised her shoulders, “You weren’t there. You didn’t hear how he said those things. It might’ve been an act to shirk gossip, but it sounded pretty honest to me. I don’t want to be involved with someone with whom I don’t really know where I stand.”
“Okay,” Neil conceded. “All I ask is that you hear the facts from end to end before you completely write Logan off. I’m going to put you on the proverbial stand and ask a few questions. If you don’t mind.”
She minded, but her interest was piqued in these facts he wanted her to listen to. “Go ahead.”
The attorney crossed his arms, and set his feet shoulder-width apart. “Are you in love with him?”
Her cheeks stained with red heat. The question caught her off guard. Of course, that was probably the point.
At her silence, Neil drawled, “Be honest. I’m sort of famous for being able to detect lies.”
By her hesitation, she knew Neil already had his answer, but it was if he waited for her to have the courage to say it. Looking up at him, she determined denying it would be pointless. “Yes.”
“Do you believe he truly meant what he said to Katherine? To be specific, did you really think he wanted you only as a friend? Your gut reaction is what I’m going for. Think of how he looked at you and tell me if friendship was all you saw in his eyes.” He huffed with a shake of his head. “I can’t believe the words coming out of my mouth right now.”
A wan smile moved her mouth as she pondered his question. Thinking back on that day, what she saw and what she heard, were two different things. Logan’s answers to Katherine’s questions had been succinct and hard to forget, but they’d contradicted the sincerity and affection in his eyes she saw after the conversation. At the time, she thought the man who’d conversed with Katherine was the real Logan Savant,
and the one who spoke to her was just the player, but she couldn’t wholly believe it. “In hindsight, I don’t think he meant it as hard as I took it. He came to me and apologized, but I was hurt, and couldn’t move past it.”
Neil nodded with understanding. “Next question. Do you want to be with him?”
That’d been the big question of the day. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly.
“Well, it’s safe to say he still wants to be with you. He’d admitted how much he’d fallen for you and that alone is something he’s never done. He’s been doing things out of character ever since the night you met. If you need proof, there’s plenty of it. It’s been a hoot to watch, I have to say.”
A smile twitched. “Out of character? Such as?”
“Exhibit A,” he exclaimed with a dramatic flourish of his hands as he began to pace her floor. “The Charles Sigvy. He told me, by the way, he would’ve paid triple the price. All he wanted was a reason to speak to you again. He’s very generous with his money, but not that generous with women he just met. Who bids on a diamond necklace to give it away to a virtual stranger? It’s inconceivable really, but he did it.”
A reminiscent smile tugged at her lips. “He certainly did.”
“Exhibit B. The trip to Las Vegas to see your sister. Details on it are vague on my end, but even so, he wouldn’t have done that unless he cared.”
“That was an obligation. Er…I assume he told you about Rebecca?”
“Naturally. It was too wild of a story to keep it to himself.”
“Like I said, he arranged the trip because I—”
“No, Miss Shaw. You’ve got it wrong. But let’s go back to the night you met. The night of the charity. Why did you help a total stranger that night? You didn’t know him from Joe Nobody. There must’ve been some reason you interfered, and I think I know what it is, but you tell me first.”
Jordana made a face. “That Rebecca woman was going to trap a good man by manipulating him with the pretense he was going to be the father of her child.”
Diamonds & Desire: The Priceless Collection Page 23
