by Lynsey James
I gave her arm a playful tap and shook my head. ‘Sorry to burst your romantic bubble, but there’s nothing going on there. As if he’d be interested in me anyway; he’s probably got a queue of award-winning actresses and models after him! I don’t think I could quite compete with any of them.’
Suddenly, I remembered what he’d said to me at the auditions, just before Callum’s bizarre and slightly sleazy star turn. I’d rather have something real with someone who’s on my wavelength. Even now, it brought a smile to my face. Ethan was so far removed from the actor stereotype: he wasn’t shallow or just concerned with his career. He was caring, considerate, sweet…
‘Oh so you’re saying you wouldn’t mind competing with all these other women who are supposedly after him?’ Lucy said with a wink. ‘You just don’t think you could?’
Oh bollocks.
‘No, I’m not saying that at all,’ I replied, hoping my voice didn’t waver too much. ‘I don’t really know if he’s my type, to be honest.’
Emily snorted. ‘Oh yeah because tall, dark and drop-dead gorgeous is a pretty niche type! Even Noah’s developed a bit of a man crush on him since he heard Ethan might be next in line to play James Bond!’
‘I’m not really in the dating game anyway,’ I said, regretting the words as soon as they came out.
Please don’t ask me why, please…
‘How come?’ Lucy cocked her head to one side. ‘I thought the men of Luna Bay would be lining up to take out a famous Broadway actress!’
I sighed. While I wasn’t sure that I was ready to discuss Jamie with people yet, I decided to be brave and do it. That was what New Alice would do, after all.
‘The thing is…I lost my boyfriend in an accident three years ago, and I haven’t really wanted to put myself out there since. His death was so sudden and I just… I couldn’t risk losing anyone like that again, especially not if they meant a lot to me.’
‘Oh God, I’m so sorry,’ Lucy said, putting her hand on my arm. ‘I wish I hadn’t asked now. Jake’s always saying I need to think before I speak.’
Under her breath, I was sure she was singing Think by Aretha Franklin.
‘I guessed something bad had happened,’ Emily admitted, ‘especially when you wouldn’t go and mingle with anyone. It must’ve been terrible losing someone so special to you.’
I nodded. ‘It hasn’t been easy, but the panto’s really helped me. I’ve had something to sink my teeth into for the first time in ages.’
‘And I suppose having a hunky actor on the scene isn’t so bad either is it?’ she joked.
I chewed my lip before answering. ‘No, I suppose it doesn’t hurt!’
*
I couldn’t pretend not to be glad when the spotlight finally shifted away from me and onto Lucy’s wedding plans.
‘I had the idea of throwing a surprise wedding at Christmas,’ she said, digging a fat purple folder out of her bag. It landed on the table with a dull thud. ‘It’s a sort of thank-you to Jake for everything he’s done for me. Plus, and I’d appreciate it if this could stay between us, he needs something to look forward to. Rachel’s started being difficult over his access to Maya; he’s hardly seen her for the last couple of months. So I thought if I threw him a gorgeous Christmas-themed wedding, it might cheer him up a bit. He’s been saying he wants to do it soon anyway and Christmas is his favourite time of year.’
I felt my stomach drop to my shoes. I’d conveniently forgotten that the festive season was now less than a month away. I’d been so busy with the panto that it had allowed me to push it to the back of my mind.
‘Do you like Christmas, Alice?’ asked Emily. ‘I can’t wait to decorate the B&B this year. Noah says they usually go all out and get a massive tree. I’ve got no idea what to get him though; I’ve never been with a guy at Christmas before!’
‘I used to like it.’ My voice had gone all meek and small, like it had been the first time I’d set foot in Sunflower Cottage. ‘But after Jamie died, I didn’t want to celebrate it any more. It was his favourite time of year too, you see.’
I stuck a sad smile to my face, although I felt like I was about to cry. Although I’d taken steps to move forward with my life, I wasn’t sure I was ready to face Jamie’s favourite holiday with the same spirit I’d shown for everything else.
‘Oh, babes.’ Lucy put a hand on top of mine and Emily followed suit. ‘Surely he’d want you to celebrate it though, if he loved it so much.’
‘Yeah, he wouldn’t want you to dread it every year,’ said Emily.
My bottom lip trembled, but I managed to hold it together. I didn’t want to put a dampener on what had been a lovely lunch with two great girls.
‘Anyway,’ I said, banging my hands on the table and shaking away my sadness. ‘Let’s see these dress designs!’
She flicked to the middle of the folder and took out a poly wallet containing loads of dress designs.
‘Which of these do you guys like? I like the idea of a fishtail but I’m not sure if a fit-and-flare would be better?’
Emily and I pored over the mood board she’d made, cocking our heads to each side and umming and ahhing as we tried to pick our favourite look for Lucy.
‘I’d go for the fishtail,’ I declared. ‘It’d show off your curves way better than the fit-and-flare.’
‘Agreed,’ Emily said, ‘Although I like the lace dress with sleeves too.’
‘Fishtail it is!’ Lucy smiled brightly and tucked her folder away in her bag. How it fit in there and, more importantly, how she’d managed to lug it around with her was anyone’s guess. ‘Thanks, guys! I won’t bore you with too much wedding stuff today, but if you’d both be up for giving me a hand to organise it I’d be really grateful.’ She turned her attention to me and put a hand on my arm again. ‘I promise it won’t clash too much with the pantomime, Alice. I’ll still be able to do all my fairy godmother duties!’
‘Glad to hear it,’ I said, sticking my tongue out at her. ‘Cinderella won’t be able to get to the ball without you!’
*
Our lunch/gossip session ended just as the sky was starting to darken. It looked like a giant pen had burst and had strewn inky black splodges all over the clouds.
‘We should do this again soon.’ Lucy pulled me in for a warm hug. ‘It was great seeing you, Alice; don’t be a stranger over at the pub, yeah?’
I shook my head. ‘Just try and keep me away!’
It was Emily’s turn to give me a hug. She held me close to her, squeezed my shoulders then let go.
‘It goes without saying, but you can come and see me and Noah at Sunflower Cottage whenever you fancy.’ She stood back for a second and cocked her head to one side. ‘I can’t get over the change in you, Alice.’
I looked down at my top and instinctively smoothed it down. ‘Oh hell, I didn’t drop fudge icing somewhere did I?’
Emily covered her mouth to stifle her giggles. ‘No! I didn’t mean physical changes anyway. When I first met you a few months ago at the Breakfast Club, you hid yourself away in the corner and wouldn’t talk to anyone. Now look at you; you’ve taken over the panto, you’re coming out for lunch with me and Lucy and you’ve got a Hollywood hunk lusting after you!’ She put up her hands after I opened my mouth to protest. ‘I was just kidding about the last one. Although, if you ask me, he’s into you. You’ve really come out of your shell and it’s lovely to see.’
The corners of my mouth kicked up into an appreciative smile. It was nice that someone who’d seen me at my reclusive worst could see the changes in me.
‘When I first came to the Breakfast Club, it was the first time I’d left the house in I don’t know how long,’ I admitted. ‘My mum had to persuade me for ages to go, and I’m glad I did. If I hadn’t, I’d probably still be in my house crying and wondering how the hell to get on with my life. Your club was just about the best thing to happen to me for ages.’
Emily smiled and two pops of colour blossomed on her cheeks. ‘Well
I’m glad it’s helped you so much. And for what it’s worth, I reckon that if you get the chance to start something with Ethan, you should. I nearly missed my chance with Noah because I was so stubborn. I don’t know what I’d do without him now; coming to this village was the best decision I ever made.’
I managed a weak smile. Talking about Ethan in a romantic way made my stomach do backflips, mostly because I knew it was a hopeless situation.
‘If he manages to tear himself away from the hundreds of other women he could take his pick from, then I’ll give it a go,’ I said with a wink. ‘Deal?’
I held out my hand and she shook it. We caught up with Lucy, who was walking a few paces ahead, and linked arms with her. As we walked towards the Purple Partridge, my heart swelled. I was part of something. I had people I enjoyed spending time with and who enjoyed spending time with me.
There was no way I was ever going to let this go.
Chapter Sixteen
Later that evening, it was rehearsal time.
I was still on a high from my lunch with Emily and Lucy and couldn’t wait to see the cast to go over the panto again. I raked a hand through my hair in an effort to tame any flyaway strands (always a complete waste of time) and sprayed some perfume round my neck and on my wrists. Just as I grabbed my bag and prepared to leave, my doorbell rang.
I threw open the door and found Ethan leaning on the outside wall, his trademark lopsided smile on his face. I felt a weird feeling rush over me, given I’d been interrogated about him by Emily and Lucy for most of the afternoon. It was like seeing someone when you’d had a saucy dream about them the night before.
‘Wow, this is a surprise!’ I tried to keep my tone light and airy. ‘What are you doing here? I thought I’d just see you down at the theatre.’
He shrugged. ‘I just thought you’d fancy some company walking to rehearsals, that’s all. I haven’t seen you today either, so I thought I’d pop up.’
I was touched that he’d noticed we hadn’t seen each other today. When I thought about it, I supposed we had been joined at the hip, like Emily had said.
‘Well thanks,’ I said, grabbing my coat. ‘I’d love some company walking the thirty feet between here and the theatre!’
I grinned at him and locked the door behind me. The air definitely had a wintry feel about it; Christmas was inevitably on its way. As if matching my mood, a huge crack of thunder sounded from nowhere.
‘Looks like we’re in for a storm,’ I said, looking up at the velvety night sky. ‘It’ll start bucketing with rain any minute now.’
We quickened our pace until we safely arrived at the theatre. The first drops of rain had started to fall, but we managed to miss them completely.
‘It’s going to turn vile out there soon,’ I said. ‘I hope everyone still comes tonight.’
Ethan hung his jacket on the back of one of the chairs and sank into it. ‘They’ll be here, don’t worry.’
He tilted his head backwards and began to massage his temples as he let out a frustrated groan.
‘Everything OK?’ I asked, taking a seat next to him. ‘You sound like you’ve had a rough day.’
His hands fell away and landed limply by his sides. ‘I went to see my dad today. Let’s just say it didn’t go terribly well.’
‘What happened? Is it something a bag of Haribo could fix?’ I reached into my bag and pulled out the two bags I’d bought earlier to help us through the rehearsal.
‘I’m not sure. Better chuck that bag of Tangfastics over here anyway.’
I did as I was asked and handed him the Tangfastics, while I tackled the Starmix. I snuck a sideways glance at him and watched his face contort after he popped one of the sour dummies into his mouth.
‘Oh man!’ His cheeks sucked in and his eyes screwed shut until the sour taste passed. ‘I must have something wrong with me to enjoy those so much!’
I giggled and stole one out of his bag, stuffing it into my mouth before he could make any attempts to retrieve it.
‘Hey! OK, you owe me a fried egg, two gummy bears and a jelly ring for that.’
‘No chance.’ I grinned and held the bag out of his reach. ‘These are all mine!’
Ethan leapt up from his seat and towered over me. ‘Oh you’re for it now, Woods.’
I got up and ran, but he was too quick for me. He threw his arms round my waist and pulled me into him, his hands searching everywhere for the elusive bag of Haribo.
‘You’re a tricky one!’ He chuckled then grunted with frustration as it slipped out of his hands.
‘You’d better believe it!’ I was starting to lose my breath, but still managed to keep my Starmix tantalisingly close yet totally out of reach.
Ethan’s onslaught stopped because he’d tired himself out and his arms found themselves round my waist. I could hear his breath in my ear and I felt his chest rise and fall behind me.
‘I give up,’ he whispered. ‘I totally and completely give up.’
‘Do you?’ My words were shaky as I tried to keep myself together.
His voice sent delicious shivers down my spine and I felt myself slowly let go. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my own breathing and the deafening roar of the blood thundering in my ears. I clung on to my sweets for dear life as I frantically tried to work out what would happen in the next few seconds.
Sometimes though, you just have to take control for yourself.
I spun around in his arms, letting my sweets fall to the floor in a multicoloured heap. My entire body quivered, but I managed to reach a hand up to touch Ethan’s cheek. I brought his face as level with mine as I could and stared up into those blue eyes of his.
‘Alice…’
I shook my head and his mouth clamped shut. Getting as far up on my tiptoes as I could, I reached up and planted a small kiss on his lips. My entire body delighted at feeling the soft texture of his lips on mine again. I felt like I’d just taken a giant leap off a cliff into the unknown, but I wasn’t scared. If anything, I was excited.
I stepped down and peeked up at him, holding my bottom lip between my teeth as I waited for his reaction.
‘I thought that was never going to happen again?’ he said, the ghost of a smile dancing on his lips.
I shrugged and tucked some hair behind my ears as I suppressed a grin. ‘Oops. Looks like I was wrong.’
Ethan’s tentative smile spread into a beaming grin that lit up his whole face.
‘You know, I think I quite like it when you’re wrong.’
‘It’s not so bad is it?’ I admitted.
We reached for each other and our heads tilted so we could pick up where we’d left off. Just as our lips were about to touch, the theatre door swung open and in walked the cast, led by Lauren. They were all soaked to the bone but they looked happy. I jumped away from Ethan like a cat on hot bricks before anyone saw, but I threw him a secret smile while nobody was looking.
‘Are you all ready to get started?’ I asked with a wide grin. ‘I can’t wait to see you all do your stuff tonight.’
‘Born ready!’ Lauren turned and locked her eyes on Ethan. ‘Oh hi, Ethan, I didn’t see you there.’
She wiggled her fingers in his direction and he responded with a polite smile. I found it very hard to believe that she hadn’t noticed him as soon as she’d walked in, but kept my thoughts to myself. Nothing was going to ruin tonight, absolutely nothing.
‘OK, everyone, take your places,’ I instructed, ‘and let’s practise that first scene. So we need Lauren, Angie, Helen and Eileen on the stage. The rest of you grab a seat so we can watch.’
The four I’d requested clambered up on the stage, while the rest took their seats in anticipation. Scripts in hand, they prepared to deliver their best performance. Lauren got down on her knees and mimed scrubbing the floor with a brush. I couldn’t help noticing her frequent glances in Ethan’s direction.
‘You, girl, clean the stairs! And while you’re at it, make a start on dinner! Come on now, chop
chop!’ Eileen’s perfect delivery brought a smile to my face. I’d been overjoyed when she’d walked into the auditions to get her old role back.
‘Yes, Stepmother, right away!’
Still a little screechy, I said to myself, but Lauren had definitely turned the volume down a notch. At least now the audience wouldn’t be deafened.
‘That’s great, Lauren, you’ve really worked on your projection! Good job,’ I said, flashing her a thumbs-up.
I watched them do the rest of the scene and realised that something didn’t quite sit well with me. Christabel had bought a bog-standard pantomime script and hadn’t bothered to put any of her own spin on it. As Lauren spoke to some imaginary mice at her feet (I wasn’t sure what to do about them yet!), I realised what the panto needed: a little bit of sparkle.
Ideas whirred in my head as I began to formulate plans to inject a bit of pizzazz into the dull, tired script. As I toyed with a couple of ideas that really jumped out at me, I realised that taking part in the panto had been a great idea after all. I hadn’t been keen to start with, but it had really started to bring me out of myself. I’d been hoping for a decisive event to help me move on and it was looking like the panto was it. I’d come to really love doing it and even though the cast was just about the biggest bunch of misfits I’d ever come across, they meant a lot to me. OK, so Lauren was a bit of a diva, Callum tried it on with me every chance he got and the newbies still had to find their feet. Together, I knew they were going to make a great pantomime. It was up to me to give it a bit of sparkle.
*
The rehearsal was a successful one; we managed to run through the first two scenes and I gave them pointers to work on for next time.
‘What, no character essays?’ Callum made a concerted effort to brush up against me as he left. I saw Ethan’s shoulders tense when he saw it. ‘You might just be my favourite director ever.’
‘Goodnight, Callum,’ I replied, keeping my tone firm. I took myself away from the door leading to the foyer and walked a few paces back into the auditorium. ‘That was a great job, everyone; you all worked really hard tonight. See you all next time!’
