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Narrative Poems

Page 4

by C. S. Lewis


  The young leaves, where the palace walls showed pale

  With chilly stone: but far above the green,

  Springing like cliffs in air, the towers were seen,

  Making more quiet yet the quiet dawn.

  Thither he came. He reached the open lawn.

  8

  No bird was moving here. Against the wall

  Out of the unscythed grass the nettle grew.

  The doors stood open wide, but no footfall

  Rang in the colonnades. Whispering through

  Arches and hollow halls the light wind blew . . .

  His awe returned. He whistled—then, no more,

  It’s better to plunge in by the first door.

  9

  But then the vastness threw him into doubt.

  Was this the door that he had found last night?

  Or that, beneath the tower? Had he come out

  This side at all? As the first snow falls light

  With following rain before the year grows white,

  So the first, dim foreboding touched his mind,

  Gently as yet, and easily thrust behind.

  10

  And with it came the thought, ‘I do not know

  Her name—no, nor her face.’ But still his mood

  Ran blithely as he felt the morning blow

  About him, and the earth-smell in the wood

  Seemed waking for long hours that must be good

  Here, in the unfettered lands, that knew no cause

  For grudging—out of reach of the old laws.

  11

  He hastened to one entry. Up the stair,

  Beneath the pillared porch, without delay,

  He ran—then halted suddenly: for there

  Across the quiet threshold something lay,

  A bundle, a dark mass that barred the way.

  He looked again, and lo, the formless pile

  Under his eyes was moving all the while.

  12

  And it had hands, pale hands of wrinkled flesh,

  Puckered and gnarled with vast antiquity,

  That moved. He eyed the sprawling thing afresh,

  And bit by bit (so faces come to be

  In the red coal) yet surely, he could see

  That the swathed hugeness was uncleanly human,

  A living thing, the likeness of a woman.

  13

  In the centre a draped hummock marked the head;

  Thence flowed the broader lines with curve and fold

  Spreading as oak roots do. You would have said

  A man could hide among them and grow old

  In finding a way out. Breast manifold

  As of the Ephesian Artemis might be

  Under that robe. The face he did not see.

  14

  And all his being answered, ‘Not that way!’

  Never a word he spoke. Stealthily creeping

  Back from the door he drew. Quick! No delay!

  Quick, quick, but very quiet!—backward peeping

  Till fairly out of sight. Then shouting, leaping,

  Shaking himself, he ran—as puppies do

  From bathing—till that door was out of view.

  15

  Another gate—and empty. In he went

  And found a courtyard open to the sky,

  Amidst it dripped a fountain. Heavy scent

  Of flowers was here; the foxglove standing high

  Sheltered the whining wasp. With hasty eye

  He travelled round the walls. One doorway led

  Within: one showed a further court ahead.

  16

  He ran up to the first—a hungry lover,

  And not yet taught to endure, not blunted yet,

  But weary of long waiting to discover

  That loved one’s face. Before his foot was set

  On the first stair, he felt the sudden sweat

  Cold on his sides. That sprawling mass in view,

  That shape—the horror of heaviness—here too.

  17

  He fell back from the porch. Not yet—not yet—

  There must be other ways where he would meet

  No watcher in the door. He would not let

  The fear rise, nor hope falter, nor defeat

  Be entered in his thoughts. A sultry heat

  Seemed to have filled the day. His breath came short,

  And he passed on into that inner court.

  18

  And (like a dream) the sight he feared to find

  Was waiting here. Then cloister, path and square

  He hastened through: down paths that ended blind,

  Traced and retraced his steps. The thing sat there

  In every door, still watching, everywhere,

  Behind, ahead, all round—So! Steady now,

  Lest panic comes. He stopped. He wiped his brow.

  19

  But, as he strove to rally, came the thought

  That he had dreamed of such a place before

  —Knew how it all would end. He must be caught

  Early or late. No good! But all the more

  He raged with passionate will that overbore

  That knowledge: and cried out, and beat his head,

  Raving, upon the senseless walls, and said:

  20

  ‘Where? Where? Dear, look once out. Give but one sign.

  It’s I, I, Dymer. Are you chained and hidden?

  What have they done to her? Loose her! She is mine.

  Through stone and iron, haunted and hag-ridden,

  I’ll come to you—no stranger, nor unbidden,

  It’s I. Don’t fear them. Shout above them all.

  Can you not hear? I’ll follow at your call.’

  21

  From every arch the echo of his cry

  Returned. Then all was silent, and he knew

  There was no other way. He must pass by

  That horror: tread her down, force his way through,

  Or die upon the threshold. And this too

  Had all been in a dream. He felt his heart

  Beating as if his throat would burst apart.

  22

  There was no other way. He stood a space

  And pondered it. Then, gathering up his will,

  He went to the next door. The pillared place

  Beneath the porch was dark. The air was still,

  Moss on the steps. He felt her presence fill

  The threshold with dull life. Here too was she.

  This time he raised his eyes and dared to see.

  23

  Pah! Only an old woman! . . . but the size,

  The old, old matriarchal dreadfulness,

  Immovable, intolerable . . . the eyes

  Hidden, the hidden head, the winding dress,

  Corpselike . . . The weight of the brute that seemed to press

  Upon his heart and breathing. Then he heard

  His own voice, strange and humbled, take the word.

  24

  ‘Good Mother, let me pass. I have a friend

  To look for in this house. I slept the night

  And feasted here—it was my journey’s end,

  —I found it by the music and the light,

  And no one kept the doors, and I did right

  To enter—did I not? Now, Mother, pray,

  Let me pass in . . . good Mother, give me way.’

  25

  The woman answered nothing: but he saw

  The hands, like crabs, still wandering on her knee.

  ‘Mother, if I have broken any law,

  I’ll ask a pardon once: then let it be,

  —Once is enough—and leave the passage free.

  I am in haste. And though it were a sin

  By all the laws you have, I must go in.’

  26

  Courage was rising in him now. He said,

  ‘Out of my path, old woman. For this cause

  I am new born, new freed, and here new wed,

&n
bsp; That I might be the breaker of bad laws.

  The frost of old forbiddings breaks and thaws

  Wherever my feet fall. I bring to birth

  Under its crust the green, ungrudging earth.’

  27

  He had started, bowing low: but now he stood

  Stretched to his height. His own voice in his breast

  Made misery pompous, firing all his blood.

  ‘Enough,’ he cried. ‘Give place. You shall not wrest

  My love from me. I journey on a quest

  You cannot understand, whose strength shall bear me

  Through fire and earth. A bogy will not scare me.

  28

  ‘I am the sword of spring; I am the truth.

  Old night, put out your stars, the dawn is here,

  The sleeper’s wakening, and the wings of youth.

  With crumbling veneration and cowed fear

  I make no truce. My loved one, live and dear,

  Waits for me. Let me in! I fled the City,

  Shall I fear you or . . . Mother, ah, for pity.’

  29

  For his high mood fell shattered. Like a man

  Unnerved, in bayonet-fighting, in the thick,

  —Full of red rum and cheers when he began,

  Now, in a dream, muttering: ‘I’ve not the trick.

  It’s no good. I’m no good. They’re all too quick.

  There! Look there! Look at that!’—so Dymer stood,

  Suddenly drained of hope. It was no good.

  30

  He pleaded then. Shame beneath shame. ‘Forgive.

  It may be there are powers I cannot break.

  If you are of them, speak. Speak. Let me live.

  I ask so small a thing. I beg. I make

  My body a living prayer whose force would shake

  The mountains. I’ll recant—confess my sin—

  But this once let me pass. I must go in.

  31

  ‘Yield but one inch, once only from your law;

  Set any price—I will give all, obey

  All else but this, hold your least word in awe,

  Give you no cause for anger from this day.

  Answer! The least things living when they pray

  As I pray now bear witness. They speak true

  Against God. Answer! Mother, let me through.’

  32

  Then when he heard no answer, mad with fear

  And with desire, too strained with both to know

  What he desired or feared, yet staggering near,

  He forced himself towards her and bent low

  For grappling. Then came darkness. Then a blow

  Fell on his heart, he thought. There came a blank

  Of all things. As the dead sink, down he sank.

  33

  The first big drops are rattling on the trees,

  The sky is copper dark, low thunder pealing.

  See Dymer with drooped head and knocking knees

  Comes from the porch. Then slowly, drunkly reeling,

  Blind, beaten, broken, past desire of healing,

  Past knowledge of his misery, he goes on

  Under the first dark trees and now is gone.

  CANTO IV

  1

  First came the peal that split the heavens apart

  Straight overhead. Then silence. Then the rain;

  Twelve miles of downward water like one dart,

  And in one leap were launched along the plain,

  To break the budding flower and flood the grain,

  And keep with dripping sound an undersong

  Amid the wheeling thunder all night long.

  2

  He put his hands before his face. He stooped,

  Blind with his hair. The loud drops’ grim tattoo

  Beat him to earth. Like summer grass he drooped,

  Amazed, while sheeted lightning large and blue

  Blinked wide and pricked the quivering eyeball through.

  Then, scrambling to his feet, with downward head

  He fought into the tempest as chance led.

  3

  The wood was mad. Soughing of branch and straining

  Was there: drumming of water. Light was none,

  Nor knowledge of himself. The trees’ complaining

  And his own throbbing heart seemed mixed in one,

  One sense of bitter loss and beauty undone;

  All else was blur and chaos and rain-stream

  And noise and the confusion of a dream.

  4

  Aha! . . . Earth hates a miserable man:

  Against him even the clouds and winds conspire.

  Heaven’s voice smote Dymer’s ear-drum as he ran,

  Its red throat plagued the dark with corded fire

  —Barbed flame, coiled flame that ran like living wire

  Charged with disastrous current, left and right

  About his path, hell-blue or staring white.

  5

  Stab! Stab! Blast all at once. What’s he to fear?

  Look there—that cedar shrivelling in swift blight

  Even where he stood! And there—ah, that came near!

  Oh, if some shaft would break his soul outright,

  What ease so to unload and scatter quite

  On the darkness this wild beating in his skull

  Too burning to endure, too tense and full.

  6

  All lost: and driven away: even her name

  Unknown. O fool, to have wasted for a kiss

  Time when they could have talked! An angry shame

  Was in him. He had worshipt earth, and this

  —The venomed clouds fire spitting from the abyss,

  This was the truth indeed, the world’s intent

  Unmasked and naked now, the thing it meant.

  7

  The storm lay on the forest a great time

  —Wheeled in its thundery circuit, turned, returned.

  Still through the dead-leaved darkness, through the slime

  Of standing pools and slots of clay storm-churned

  Went Dymer. Still the knotty lightning burned

  Along black air. He heard the unbroken sound

  Of water rising in the hollower ground.

  8

  He cursed it in his madness, flung it back,

  Sorrow as wild as young men’s sorrows are,

  Till, after midnight, when the tempest’s track

  Drew off, between two clouds appeared one star.

  Then his mood changed. And this was heavier far,

  When bit by bit, rarer and still more rare,

  The weakening thunder ceased from the cleansed air;

  9

  When the leaves began to drip with dying rain

  And trees showed black against the glimmering sky,

  When the night-birds flapped out and called again

  Above him: when the silence cool and shy

  Came stealing to its own, and streams ran by

  Now audible amid the rustling wood

  —Oh, then came the worst hour for flesh and blood.

  10

  It was no nightmare now with fiery stream

  Too horrible to last, able to blend

  Itself and all things in one hurrying dream;

  It was the waking world that will not end

  Because hearts break, that is not foe nor friend,

  Where sane and settled knowledge first appears

  Of work-day desolation, with no tears.

  11

  He halted then, footsore, weary to death,

  And heard his heart beating in solitude,

  When suddenly the sound of sharpest breath

  Indrawn with pain and the raw smell of blood

  Surprised his sense. Near by to where he stood

  Came a long whimpering moan—a broken word,

  A rustle of leaves where some live body stirred.

  12

  He groped towards the sound. ‘What, brothe
r, brother,

  Who groaned?’—‘I’m hit. I’m finished. Let me be.’

  —‘Put out your hand, then. Reach me. No, the other.’

  —‘Don’t touch. Fool! Damn you! Leave me.’—‘I can’t see.

  Where are you?’ Then more groans. ‘They’ve done for me.

  I’ve no hands. Don’t come near me. No, but stay,

  Don’t leave me . . . O my God! Is it near day?’

  13

  —‘Soon now, a little longer. Can you sleep?

  I’ll watch for you.’—‘Sleep, is it? That’s ahead,

  But none till then. Listen: I’ve bled too deep

  To last out till the morning. I’ll be dead

  Within the hour—sleep then. I’ve heard it said

  They don’t mind at the last, but this is Hell.

  If I’d the strength—I have such things to tell.’

  14

  All trembling in the dark and sweated over

  Like a man reared in peace, unused to pain,

  Sat Dymer near him in the lightless cover,

  Afraid to touch and shamefaced to refrain.

  Then bit by bit and often checked again

  With agony the voice told on. (The place

  Was dark, that neither saw the other’s face.)

  15

  ‘There is a City which men call in scorn

  The Perfect City—eastward of this wood—

  You’ve heard about the place. There I was born.

  I’m one of them, their work. Their sober mood,

  The ordered life, the laws, are in my blood

  —A life . . . well, less than happy, something more

  Than the red greed and lusts that went before.

  16

  ‘All in one day, one man and at one blow

  Brought ruin on us all. There was a boy

  —Blue eyes, large limbs, were all he had to show,

  You need no greater prophets to destroy.

  He seemed a man asleep. Sorrow and joy

  Had passed him by—the dreamiest, safest man,

  The most obscure, until this curse began.

  17

  ‘Then—how or why it was, I cannot say—

  This Dymer, this fool baby pink-and-white,

  Went mad beneath his quiet face. One day,

  With nothing said, he rose and laughed outright

  Before his master: then, in all our sight,

  Even where we sat to watch, he struck him dead

  And screamed with laughter once again and fled.

  18

  ‘Lord! how it all comes back. How still the place is,

  And he there lying dead . . . only the sound

  Of a bluebottle buzzing . . . sharpened faces

  Strained, gaping from the benches all around . . .

  The dead man hunched and quiet with no wound,

  And minute after minute terror creeping

  With dreadful hopes to set the wild heart leaping.

 

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