by LeAnn Asher
“Thank you again.” I slip my finger gently out of Tiana’s grip and pull her into a hug.
“Everything will be okay, Shay,” Myra whispers in my ear. She can feel my stress. I know everything will be okay. I just want to do right by Tiana. I want her to be happy.
Myra walks over to Ryan, who takes the bag from her. They walk to the door, and then they are gone.
Butcher and I look at each other. He is still holding Tiana.
“What do we do now?” I blurt out and he shrugs, but he smiles.
“I think a bath is a must?”
“Yeah, that is probably best and then I think she needs to eat.”
Ryan sets the bags on the couch, and I walk over to see what they brought. They had clothes, diapers, sippy cups, shampoo, body wash, clothes, and underwear in case she is potty trained. .
“Does she have a diaper on?” I ask Butcher and then, a second later, he says, “No.”
I grab a nightgown, shampoo, bath toys, and body wash. “Let’s do this.”
Butcher lifts Tiana off the counter and places her on his hip. She lifts her head but holds onto his shirt for dear life. He follows me up the steps, through our bedroom, and into the bathroom.
I set everything on the shelf by the tub. “Butcher, want to get the bath water ready?” He lifts her to me and I set her down on her feet. She sucks her little hand and looks at me so sadly.
“Want to take a bath?”
She nods her head, and I smile widely at her because that’s something. Right? I set the clothes on the counter and reach into the cabinets, grabbing some towels and washcloths.
I turn back around and undress her. I put my hands under her arms and set her in the tub. The water is still running, and she looks down at the bubbles around her. She scoops some up in her hand then, with her other hand, she touches it.
I get down on my knees and Butcher does the same. I lean over and kiss him on the cheek softly, and I run my hand down his back. His lips meet my temple and I close my eyes, sinking into his kiss.
Opening my eyes, I reach into the tub and scoop up a handful of bubbles. I peek at Butcher from the corner of my eye, raise my hand close to my mouth, and blow. The bubbles hit Butcher in the face.
He glares at me and a sharp peal of laughter pierces my ear. Butcher and I stare in awe. Tiana is grinning ear to ear as she watches me and Butcher. She blows the bubbles in her hand, and I jump in shock.
She laughs louder and does it again—this time to Butcher, who catches half of it before it hits him. She laughs harder, losing her breath this time.
“This is amazing,” I whisper to Butcher as we watch Tiana enjoying herself playing with the toys in the tub, a wide smile on her face and, most of all, being carefree.
“She is amazing.”
I wash her hair, and it’s sickening the amount of dirt that comes out. It will take forever getting the tangles. Butcher comes back with a wide-toothed comb and starts brushing her hair.
I hide my smile at the sight of him being so gentle and caring. He gently brushes through every strand. He is so sweet. I pour a small amount of soap on a washcloth for her face. Being as gentle as I can, I wipe her face free of all the dirt and grime which makes her seem way tanner than she really is.
I take another cloth, which is barely wet, and wipe the suds away. I move down to her arms and hands then clean under her nails. I wipe her arms again, and that’s when I see the bruises. I lift her arm. I can see a handprint, a bruise for every finger.
“What is it?” Butcher asks in a dark voice, and I show him her arm. Then I lift it, and I see another bruise on the back of the arm.
“Fuck.” He clenches his jaw and shakes his head.
I wash the other arm and I see the same results. I stand her up to wash her legs, and I see her hips and backside are covered in bruises. She is two. There is no need to spank a child, especially hard enough to leave bruises like that.
“FUCK,” Butcher hisses, and he stands up and walks out of the room. I hear something hitting the wall.
I finish washing her and grab the towel. She stands up, and I put the towel around her and lift her out of the tub. She shivers and I cuddle her close. I grab a second towel and dry her hair with it.
“Fank you.”
Tears fill my eyes once again. My emotions are running high from everything that happened today. This little girl is affecting me in ways I never thought possible.
“You’re welcome, angel.” I kiss the top of her head.
I stand her up and grab the princess nightgown. Her eyes widen.“Pwincess.”
“Yes, princess. You like it?”
She nods, and I know how I am going to decorate her room. I slip the gown over her head, and she pulls it away from her body so she can look down at it.
“Let’s go downstairs.”
She raises her hand for me to take, and my heart squeezes at the sight of her reaching for me. Together we walk down the stairs, going slow because of her small legs. She is so stinking cute in her nightgown.
Once we reach the bottom of the stairs, I am hit with the smell of something Butcher is cooking. My mouth waters because I am so hungry. We skipped dinner because of everything that went down.
I lead Tiana into the kitchen to see what Butcher is cooking. What do two-year-olds eat? I probably need to help him. So I take her into the living room and set her on the couch, and I turn on the TV and play some cartoons. She sucks her little finger and lays the back of her head on the couch. She is so stinking cute. Her hair is curling at the ends, and her eyes are to die for.
Leaving her alone on the couch, I can feel the worry gnawing on my stomach. She is just a few feet away. I repeat this over and over in my mind. When I step into the kitchen, Butcher turns around and then looks down.
“She is on the couch watching cartoons. What are you cooking? I am starving.” My stomach growls in confirmation.
“Grilled chicken, steamed veggies?” he suggests and that sounds good to me.
“I can steam the veggies.” I walk over to the cutting board and begin cutting the veggies.
We work together for the next twenty minutes, getting everything ready. I step out every few minutes or so to check on Tiana, and she is sitting in the exact same position.
We grab a small saucer and cup for her. I pour her some milk, and Butcher cuts her food into small pieces.
“I will go get her.” I turn the corner to the living room, and she looks up as I walk in. “Food is done, sweetheart.” She climbs down from the couch and takes my hand in hers. I lead her to the dining room. Butcher takes a stool that has sides and a back on it. It’s higher than the dining room chairs. We don’t have a booster seat.
Butcher has the plates and drinks set out. I bend down, pick Tiana up gently, and set her on the stool, then Butcher scoots it in. I sit down beside her, and Butcher sits on the other side. We both turn to watch Tiana. She reaches out slowly, takes a piece of chicken, and puts it in her mouth. She chews quickly, and she reaches out again, takes a handful, and starts cramming it in her mouth.
Butcher and I watch as she does this over and over until her whole plate is empty. We eat as we watch her. My heart is breaking seeing her so hungry. It’s pretty obvious she hasn’t eaten in a while.
“Butcher, I will get her some more.”
He smiles softly and pushes Tiana’s cup toward her.
I hurry into the kitchen, refill her plate, and cut her chicken into small pieces again. Once done I head back into the dining room, sit down beside her, and then scoot the plate back in front of her.
She reaches out immediately and starts eating. I go back to my food to finish it and Butcher does the same.
“Milk.”
Butcher scoots his chair out and takes her empty milk cup into the kitchen. Tiana is gnawing on a piece of carrot. I smile at her and she ducks her head, smiling bashfully back at me.
She is so beautiful.
Butcher sets the cup in front of her and she sm
iles at him, just slightly but that is enough for him to grin at me.
Looking at the clock on the wall, I see it’s nine o’clock. I take our empty plates into the kitchen and load them into the dishwasher.
Arms come up behind me, wrapping around my middle. I sink back into Butcher’s arms, and he kisses my cheek. Sighing, I kiss the palm of his hand.
“I love you, Butcher, more than words can say.”
He lets me go and spins me around in his arms. His fingers tug my chin, raising my head so I am looking into his face. “I love you too, my Shay.”
I close my eyes and smile at the words. His Shay. I will never grow tired of him calling me that. I truly love him. I love him more every time he does sweet things, every time he surprises me—he is just Butcher. My Butcher.
* * *
Shaylin
* * *
Once Tiana is finished eating, I take her to the bathroom, and then we walk together into the living room. I am not sure how we’ll get her to sleep—do I hold her? Rock her? Does she go to sleep on her own?
Butcher is sitting on the couch. He already set the little cot at the foot of our bed.
Tiana lets go of my hand as I sit down on the couch, and she raises her arms for me to pick her up. My stomach flips and I reach down and pull her up into my arms. She leans over and snuggles into my chest.
Butcher wraps his arm around my back and pulls me into his side. I lay my head on his shoulder and look up at him. He kisses me softly, his hand cupping the side of my face. He lets go suddenly and I look down. Tiana has wrapped her hand around Butcher’s middle finger. She settles both of his hands behind her neck. She is using him to feel safe. She senses that he will protect her. I am glad that she isn’t afraid to seek comfort in us. She reaches for both of us, and that alone is fucking amazing considering everything that she went through.
Tiana watches TV, and I cuddle with her and Butcher. I take the blanket off the back of the couch and cover her up once her eyes start to get heavy.
The show ends and I yawn. I look down and see she is fast asleep. “She is asleep.”
“Want to take her?” He slips off the couch and I sit up. He lifts her out of my arms gently with her tucked against his chest, one arm under her bottom and the other on the top of her back. I pick up the blanket off the floor.
I follow Butcher as he walks up the stairs. He makes sure, as much as possible, that he doesn’t jostle her. He steps inside the bedroom and over to the cot. It has rails on the side so she doesn’t fall out. He has a thick blanket on top of the cot to make it softer. He gently lays her down on her back. I step up and cover her with the blanket from downstairs.
I yawn again and walk into the closet, and I grab a large shirt of Butcher’s. I take off my clothes, including my bra, throwing them on the floor. I slip his T-shirt over my head and I groan. This is the best. I grab a pair of silk shorts and slip them on also.
Butcher steps inside, takes off his clothes, and puts on a pair of sweats.
When we enter the darkened bedroom, I peek down at Tiana and she is still asleep. I climb into bed and collapse, and Butcher slides in beside me.
“I forgot to take my makeup off.” I could cry. My feet hurt and I am just drained.
Butcher slides off the bed and picks me up. “What are you doing?” I whisper, but he doesn’t answer me. He carries me into the bathroom and sets me down on the counter. He reaches into a drawer and comes out with my makeup remover and the makeup pad. He lifts the bottle to read the directions.
He shakes it and then pours some out on the pad and brings it up to my face. I close my eyes as he wipes away all my makeup.
If I hadn’t already fallen in love with him, I would have just then.
I hear him snap the bottle shut, and I open my eyes. He reaches behind my head. I feel him tugging on my ponytail, and my hair falls down my back.
“I love you,” I blurt out, and he winks as he pulls out my hairbrush. He runs the brush through my hair, and I grab the waistband on his pants and pull him flush against me. I press my lips to his, and the brush clatters against the counter.
I pull back, but I am still face to face with him. “That little girl has stolen my heart. I can see so much hurt, Butcher. It makes me ache the way she ate her food like she hasn’t eaten in a long time. No baby should feel that.”
“I know, Shay, that’s why I wouldn’t let the social worker take her.”
“She is Lexi’s kid, Butcher, and Mary never mentioned anything. I could have gotten her.”
He puts his finger on my mouth and gives me a fierce glare. “Don’t say that, Shay, you couldn’t have done anything. She is ours now. The before doesn’t fucking matter, all I know is now. We are adopting that baby, then you’re going to marry my ass. Cause you ain’t fucking leaving.”
Marrying his ass?
I watch in utter shock as Butcher reaches into a drawer beside the sink, and his hand comes out carrying a small box.
“Butcher,” I whisper and I start to shake. This isn’t what I think it is. Right?
He opens the box and I see a huge-ass diamond ring with a rose gold wedding band encrusted with diamonds and a large diamond on top surrounded by little ones.
Tears fall from my eyes and, when I look up at him, he smiles at me and his hand wipes away my tears. “Marry me, Shay, be my wife. Be mine. Forever.”
“Yes!” I sob out. I raise my left hand, and he slips the ring on my finger. It fits perfectly. I throw my arms around his neck and pester his face with kisses.
He laughs and wraps both arms around my back, lifting me off the counter.
This is heaven.
He carries me out of the bathroom. “Let’s get some sleep.” He kisses the side of my head and I grin.
He doesn’t let me go as he lies down on the bed. I slip off of him and settle my head on his chest. He settles his hand on my back. “Goodnight, Shay.”
“Goodnight.” I pinch his nipple. He jumps and his hand lands on my butt. I laugh quietly and close my eyes.
* * *
Butcher
* * *
I wake up with a jolt and look at the clock—it’s 3:00 a.m. Something touches my hand, and I look down to see Tiana standing there looking at me.
“What’s the matter?” I whisper and she raises her arms for me to pick her up. I reach down and pick her up, and I set her down on the bed. She crawls up beside me and lays her head on my chest. I grab the blanket and pull it over her. She puts her hand on my throat and cuddles closer.
My daughter. It hits me. I am going to be a father. No, I am a father. I grin and kiss the top of her head, and then I lean to kiss the top of Shay’s.
My family. For the first time I have everything I never I thought I would have but dreamed I would.
Seventeen
Shaylin
I wake up and see Tiana lying on Butcher’s chest. My heart melts at the sight, and I slip out of bed and tiptoe out of the room.
I walk downstairs and gather the ingredients for pancakes. I make the batter, and then I take some bacon out of the fridge. I put it on and get busy making the pancakes.
Fifteen minutes later everything is done. I plate everything and begin the process of taking everything to the table. The jug of milk, three cups, three plates, and then the plates of food.
Once I am finished I hear a creak on the steps, and I see Butcher carrying Tiana, whose hair is sticking up everywhere.
“Smells good, baby.” He kisses me and sets Tiana down in her seat. She rubs her little eyes and yawns.
I sit down and scoot my chair closer to Tiana to help her with her pancakes if she needs it. She takes her fork in her fist and stabs a piece of pancake, the plate rattling as she does so, then brings it up and puts it in her mouth.
“Butcher, we need to buy a car seat before we can leave to get Tiana everything for her room.”
He nods and sets his fork down. “While you girls are getting ready, I will run out and get a car seat.”<
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“Thank you.” I blow him a kiss, and he shakes his head and goes back to his food.
I look at Tiana, who has abandoned her fork and is using her fingers to eat the pancake. She catches me looking and gives me a pancake-filled smile. I laugh and let her eat however she wants to—the fork is too big for her anyway.
We pull up outside a kids’ department store. We are in Butcher’s truck, so we will have plenty of room for everything because, basically, we have to start from scratch.
I step out of the truck, which earns a glare from Butcher since he told me to wait on him. Butcher opens the back door and unbuckles Tiana from her seat, then lifts her out and places her on her feet.
Tiana slips her little hand in mine, and Butcher takes my free hand. We walk through the parking lot, and Tiana jumps up on the sidewalk and bounces on her feet. I laugh at her goofiness.
Butcher opens the door for us, and we step through the entrance. Tiana takes her hand from mine and grabs the sides of her little dress, twisting it as she walks in front of us. I love that she is letting loose more and more with us.
Butcher puts his hand on the small of my back as we follow her through the store. Tiana checks out everything she comes across, and she makes a beeline straight to the toy aisle ahead of us.
Butcher and I speed up to catch up to her. Tiana grabs a stuffed kitty and hugs her to her chest then swings from side to side. I bend down next to her. “Do you know what this is?” I touch the kitty’s head.
“Titty.”
I suck my lips in my mouth so I won’t laugh, but Butcher doesn’t care enough to hold it in. He laughs behind me.
Someone left a shopping cart and I pull it over to us, lift Tiana, and put her in the front part of the basket. She is still holding on to the kitty. As we go down the aisle, she points at some things she likes and we get them for her, because she literally has no toys at all.
Thirty minutes later we leave the toy aisle and head to the furniture section. I immediately spot a bed that is light pink, with princess crowns on the poles on every corner of the bed. The sides are pink, and the top is skimmed in gold. They have a dresser, vanity, toy chest, lamp, nightlight, curtains, and everything we need for the room, right down to blankets, pillows, and bean bag chairs. Perfect.
