When Lucian returned, the house was cool and dark. These days Lucian loved to return home. To Jaxon. Nearly everything in the house was something he had picked out of her memories, things she loved, colors she found soothing. Art pieces she had seen and admired. Even the stained glass, incredible works of art his brother’s wife had created, had been made especially for Jaxon. Woven into each piece was a strong safeguard for the house and a soothing invitation of welcome and warmth for those who dwelled within. Francesca was a true healer, and, even in her art, her gift came through.
In the sleeping chamber he shed his clothes and gathered Jaxon into his arms before issuing the command to awaken. The conversion was complete, and she had rested for nearly two hours. He wanted any confrontation over before the next rising. Jaxon stirred, moaned softly as if in memory, and then he felt her heart slam hard. She was fully awake, refusing to open her eyes and face the truth of what had happened. He felt his own heart skip a beat; his breath caught in his lungs. This was the moment. She would have to confront what she had become. He would have to confront her rejection of him.
Lucian held her in his arms, watching the expressions chasing across her face. Jaxon’s impossibly long lashes fluttered, then lifted, and he was looking into her large dark eyes. He saw no condemnation what so ever. She simply looked up at him. Very slowly she raised a hand and rubbed at the frown he didn’t realize was on his face.
“What have you done this time?” she asked.
His hands moved over her face, brushing her hair from her delicate cheekbones. “I think you already know.”
“If it’s what I think it is, I may have to resort to violence.”
She was doing it again, not dealing with something her mind wasn’t ready for. Instead the pad of her index finger was rubbing a little caress over his mouth. “Don’t look so worried, Lucian. I’m not made of porcelain. I’m not going to break. You look as if the world has come to an end. Although, I have to tell you, it did hurt like hell, and when I’m feeling a little stronger, I might have to retaliate.”
“I love you, angel, and I would not have put you through the suffering of a conversion had it not been necessary.”
Jaxon was shaking her head. “Don’t say
conversion
. I don’t think we should go there right now.
Conversion
. Sounds like a movie I once saw. It had vampires and icky things in it. This really disgusting creature bit the heroine and then gave her his blood.” Her voice faltered for a moment, and he felt her tremble, but she went resolutely on. “It transformed her into a vampish sex maniac. She ran around sucking men’s necks and killing little children. Not really my thing. At least not the killing of little children. I don’t know about sucking men’s necks.” A fine tremor ran through her body.
His hand was stroking her hair, one arm locking her possessively to him. “I would never tolerate your sucking other men’s necks, so we can dispense with that worry.”
“I’m so glad. Although, maybe I would have liked it,” she tried to tease him.
That was one of the things he admired so much about her. She was frightened, her heart was beating faster than normal, but she was holding on, being brave. His respect for her continued to grow. “I am sorry, angel, but you will have to get over your disappointment if that is the case. I am discovering I am a jealous man after all.”
She snuggled into him, subconsciously seeking comfort. “You look like a man with complete confidence, Lucian. I can’t believe you would be jealous. Besides, no one else wants me.”
His eyebrows shot up. “You do not notice how men fall all over you? Even that silly young one who disobeyed your orders by going into the warehouse and making such a fool of himself—you thought his heroics were for self-promotion, but in truth he wanted you to notice him.”
“No way.” Jaxon was shocked, and it showed. “He had political pull, and he used it to get on my team even though I was totally opposed. He wasn’t ready, and he wasn’t a team player. He wanted glory and headlines. Publicly my unit is as anonymous as possible, but within the ranks it’s known as the best. Benton definitely had promotion—not me—on his mind,” she declared certain of her facts.
Lucian bent his head to gently brush the side of her mouth with his. The light touch made her heart somersault, and she felt the answering jolt in his. His lips had barely skimmed hers, yet she felt the heat curl in the pit of her stomach.
“That is what he appeared to be like, but it is not what was in his mind. He wanted to stand out, wanted you to notice him.”
“He certainly went about it in an interesting way. I noticed him all right. He almost got Barry and me killed.” Her voice betrayed her rejection of Lucian’s assessment.
“I was there, honey. I read his mind accurately. You wreak havoc among the males in your department, and now, unfortunately, you will do so even more.”
Jaxon laughed softly at him. “You are smitten with me, aren’t you? No one wants me. They just think I’m dynamite at my job, which I am,” she said without false modesty.
“You are surrounded by men all the time where you work. It is improper for a Carpathian woman to be unprotected in the company of men.”
Now her eyebrows shot up. “Lucky for me, I’m just a plain little human woman who works for a living.”
His hand caressed her hair, then moved to stroke her soft skin before returning to the untamed blond strands that so intrigued him. “Not any longer. I am no modern man, angel. I believe strongly in the duties I have sworn to carry out. You are my true lifemate, my heart and soul, the light to my darkness. I do not think running around seeking danger is what I want for the light to my darkness. Think what it would mean to the world, my love, if something were to happen to you. I have held out against the darkness for more centuries than I can say, but if something happened to you, I would truly become a monster. Even the hunters in my family would find it impossible to track and destroy me.”
“I don’t think so, Lucian. You forget, I’m getting used to being in your mind. You wouldn’t become a monster. You’re just trying to get me to do what you want.”
“So you think you know me.” His voice was softer than ever.
At once Jaxon frowned and moved to sit up cautiously, testing her body for its responses. “That’s just it, Lucian. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. I don’t even know how I got here. I don’t know how I’ve allowed you to take over my life. And now this. I don’t know what you’ve done, but I know it’s not something I want, and you didn’t bother to consult with me one way or the other. Is that part of being old-fashioned? Born centuries ago? The little woman doesn’t have a say in her own life?” Her hand crept defensively to her throat. She wasn’t the same at all. She could feel the difference. Reality was creeping in whether she wanted it to or not.
She was in bed stark naked with a man she knew relatively nothing about. He wasn’t even a man. He was some powerful predator she found sexy. Gasping, she shoved at the solid wall of his chest and, grabbing for the sheet, wrapped it around her. “I don’t know you at all. I can’t believe I slept with you.”
Lucian’s face was more sensual than ever, a slight, puzzled frown making him so attractive, Jaxon wanted him outlawed on the spot. “Do not modern-day women sleep with their husbands?”
“We aren’t married. I didn’t marry you. I would have known if I had done that. I didn’t, did I?” She shoved a hand through her hair, sending it flying in all directions, then had to grab hastily for the sheet slipping so precariously. She glared at him, daring him to smile at her predicament.
Lucian found that his centuries of self-control stood him in good stead. He kept his features completely expressionless when he wanted desperately to smile with the joy flooding his heart. She melted his insides, turned him into something gentle, when he had been so certain there was no chance for him to feel such things. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and kiss her until her eyes went dark with de
sire and her body went up in flames with his. “What do you think a lifemate is? We are married in the way of the Carpathian people. We are bound for all eternity, one to the other, body and soul.”
She jumped out of bed, trying to be dignified with a sheet swirling around her like a toga, bunching at her feet, preventing freedom of movement. “There you go again with words like
eternity
. See? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. We’re not in the least bit compatible. And I don’t sleep around. You’ve done something to me. Some black-magic trick. Voodoo. I have a few morals. I don’t sleep with just anyone, you know.”
A smile hovered dangerously close. Lucian’s black eyes gleamed at her, moving over her with a slow, burning possessiveness that said more than any words could possibly express. “I am not just anyone, Jaxon, and I am more than grateful that you do not ‘sleep around.’ “ He moved then, a sleek jungle cat stretching lazily.
At once her heart was pounding overly loud and she was backing away from the bed, her eyes wide in her face. “You’re asking me to be something I’m not, Lucian. You didn’t give me a chance to think about things.”
“What things? What was there to think about? I must rest in the ground. I cannot do so if you are not beside me. You have a penchant for getting into trouble.”
At once her dark eyes flashed fire. “That’s it! I’ve had it with you. You don’t even seem to know what you’ve done. You show no remorse at all. I’m the one who has to do all the compromising, except there is no compromise. You simply decide I’m going to do something, and then I do it. And it hurt like hell!” With that parting shot, she stormed from the bedroom. The hem of the sheet trailing behind her caught on the edge of the door and brought her up short. Jaxon simply allowed the sheet to flutter to the floor, giving Lucian a last glimpse of her soft, pale skin and beautiful curves before she disappeared from his sight.
Lucian stretched again, reveling in the feel of his strong muscles, in the way his body felt so alive. He wanted her again. He would want her for all time. The day could never come when he was fully sated. He was smiling, unable to stop. She was such a perfect miracle to him. Right now, when most women would be hysterical at the thought of conversion, she was giving him hell for being an arrogant Carpathian male. Lucian knew she was going to have to come to terms with what she had become, and it wouldn’t be easy on her, but it had been necessary to ensure her continued safety. Jaxon was not a woman to be put on a shelf. She would always be in the thick of things, no matter what he decreed. Once Lucian had accepted that fact, accepted her personality, her protective nature, he had taken the only course open to him to prevent disaster.
He padded on bare feet across the room and stooped to pick up her discarded sheet. He smiled again. It had never occurred to him he would ever experience jealousy, yet he found he didn’t like the idea of other males being close to her. He didn’t even want them thinking about her, fantasizing over her. More than that, he didn’t want her to smile at them with her innocent, sexy smile, or to touch them in the way humans often did one another. Living with emotions was an interesting experience. Worse, now that Jaxon was fully Carpathian, her ability to attract males would increase. Her voice would become more alluring, so memorable that those hearing it would want to hear it again and again. Her eyes would draw men to her—as if they didn’t already. Lucian sighed and shook his head.
He moved through the house and up the stairs to her room. Drawers had been yanked open so she could grab some clothing. Jaxon was in the spacious bathroom. He could hear the shower running. Lucian touched her mind very gently. She was panicked and trying to calm herself with normal human activities. There were tears in her mind, running down her face. At once he found himself needing to be with her.
But the door to the bathroom was firmly locked, and she had placed a rolled-up towel at its base. In spite of everything Lucian found himself smiling again. She had no real idea of his true power. He could mentally command her to open the door. One touch would burst it open. He could open it a thousand ways. His solid frame shimmered for a moment before it became insubstantial, transparent, then dissolved into mist. The droplets streamed through the keyhole of the door and poured into the bathroom, mixing with the steam from the shower.
Lucian stepped out of the fog, his muscular frame solid once more. He could see Jaxon clearly through the glass shower door. She was leaning her forehead against the wall, the water pouring over her head and down her back. She looked beautiful, pale, and fragile. She took his breath away. Silently he slid into the tub and reached for her, turning her into his chest with his strong arms, giving her no chance to protest.
“I cannot bear your tears, my love. Tell me what you want me to do, and I will do it. Anything. You are the only thing in this world that matters to me.” His hands framed her face to tilt her head up toward his. He bent to taste her tears. He ached inside, his heart clenching with actual pain.
Jaxon felt his reaction to her tears and knew it was genuine. He was distressed by her sorrow. His mouth moved over hers, back and forth, a gentle, persuasive caress. At once she could feel her body’s reaction, the way her heart found the rhythm of his, the way her blood began to heat, to pool, to make demands. That brought a fresh flood of tears. She wanted him, wanted to be with him this way, Lucian holding her so protectively, so tenderly. He was enormously strong, yet he was so careful with her, so gentle. She loved that about him, loved the way he needed her, hungered for her, wanted only her. But she didn’t want to want him. She didn’t want to want anyone.
“I want you to want me,” Lucian whispered, reading her mind. “I want you to know me the way I know you.” His mouth wandered to her neck, her soft throat. “I know everything about you, and I am madly in love with you.
Love
is not even a strong enough word for the way I feel about you. Take the time to get to know me, Jaxon. Try for me, angel. Just try.”
His mouth was creating a world of heat and colors, a place where only the two of them existed. His hands were moving over her body with exquisite care.
“I’m like you now, aren’t I?” Jaxon whispered softly against his chest.
His fingers found the nape of her neck, moved through her hair, his touch possessive. “You are Carpathian, honey, with all the gifts of our people. The earth calls to us, the wind, the rain, the heavens above. It is a beautiful world. We can run with the wolves, fly with the raptors, swim in the rivers with the fish if we desire. I can show you wonders never seen by the human eye. You can do things so incredible, you will know joy beyond anything.”
She let him kiss the tears from her face, let his rising hunger become hers. There was madness in what was happening, but it no longer mattered to her. She couldn’t change what was. She couldn’t undo what he had done. And she couldn’t hate him for doing it. Jaxon wanted to lose herself in the dark passion only he could provide. She wanted him needing her so desperately that she would never have to face what she was.
Her hands moved over his body, tracing each defined muscle. Lucian caught her head in his hands as she moved closer to him, her mouth moving over his wet skin, catching little beads of water on her tongue. His body was tightening to a painful ache, making urgent demands, when all he wanted was to comfort her, to tell her how much he loved her for not condemning him. He wanted to hold her in his arms and let her cry, if that was what she needed to help her face what had taken place within her body. “You are not here to serve my needs, angel. I am here to serve yours. Let me hold you. Ask me questions.”
Sheer terror shimmered for one moment in her eyes, then was lost in a sultry blaze of sheer sensuality. Her hands were moving over his hips, delving into the defined muscles of his buttocks, exploring his thighs. “I want to feel alive, Lucian. I want to feel I have some power, some control over my own world. I just want to
feel
.” Her hands found the hard, thick evidence of his desire, her fingernails stroking lightly, her
hands taking pleasure in learning the shape and texture of him.
Lucian’s head went back, his eyes closed. Even with the sheer ecstasy of her fingers caressing him so intimately, he merged fully with her mind, seeking to find her greatest need, her greatest desire. She had pushed out all reality, anchoring herself with thoughts only of him: how much she loved to be with him, how she loved to watch his eyes go from ice-cold to molten heat, the way his body hardened yet he remained so incredibly gentle. Her thoughts stole his breath, his heart. She admired his courage, wanted to take away the bleakness of his past existence, and she was determined no one would harm him. She wanted him to be at peace, no longer forced to destroy the terrible creatures loose in their world. She wanted to please him, and she worried about her inexperience.
The air rushed from his lungs as her mouth—silken, moist heat—closed around him. She could draw on his erotic fantasies, could feel what she was doing to him. Jaxon had lost herself in her newfound power, and Lucian was reacting with swelling desire, hot, hard hunger. His teeth actually clenched together. She found the rhythm of his hips, reveled in the helpless way he moved into her. Time was lost. Reality was lost. Jaxon had disappeared, and in her place was a siren, a temptress testing her ability to steal his self-control.
Lucian bunched his hands in her hair and dragged her up to him to find her mouth. She was moving against him, her breasts tantalizing him; her hands stroking and inflaming. His burned a trail of fire from her throat to the creamy swell of her breasts. His palm found the tight blond curls at the apex of her thighs and pressed close to find damp, welcoming heat. His fingers moved to test her readiness and found hot velvet clenching around him, found her needing him with the same urgency he felt. Her breath was coming in shallow gasps.
“Hurry, Lucian!” Her breathless cry sent a shaft of piercing joy sweeping through him. She did need him; no other would do for her. He was her true lifemate, and her body cried out for his. He wanted all of her. Her mind and heart as well as her body and soul. And her mind was filled with hot, hungry need of him.
Dark Guardian (Dark Series - book 9) Page 18
