Shadow tightened his hands into fists. "It seems too simple an answer."
"Simple? Sure, the answer may be simple, but doing it will be the hard part. You won't be able to be secretive anymore, Shadow. You'll have to learn how to talk to her about stuff. About her mother. About why you left. About everything that's happened since you went to try and save the world. It won't be easy." Terra gnawed her lower lip. "Shadow, if you do this, you will need to stay gone. Clyde Arrowny simply cannot hide any longer. I . . . I just thought you'd want to know."
"You don't believe Relm would wish to be visited by her one-time friend?"
Terra shrugged. "I don't know. That's your decision. It might be dangerous to have Shadow show up, though. What if she figures it out? You'll hurt her."
Terra heard Edgar and Interceptor approaching. "Whatever you decide to do, Shadow, we're behind you. All right?"
She stood and met Edgar while Interceptor continued toward his master. Edgar took her hand and led her to the tent, ushering her inside and tying the flap closed. "How did our ninja do this evening?"
"He was quiet. I did most of the talking." Terra blushed and sat on their bedroll as she began to remove her soft-soled boots. Edgar sat beside her and did the same. "I came up with the most bizarre idea."
Edgar's lips were tickled with a smile as he set aside his shoes and began to disrobe. "Do tell."
*
Shadow stared at the fire, the night sounds drifting in and out of his awareness as Terra's words settled deeper into his mind.
'If her father shows up and explains that he was able to get free of Kefka Tower at the end battle, it's the truth. . . . You won't be able to be secretive anymore. . . . She'd gain her father. . . . She wouldn't lose your friendship. . . .'
Shadow pushed the thoughts away with a painful sigh, pulling the shroud from his head with a slow and deliberate motion. He stared down at the crisp blackness of it and thought back. The thing had hid so many thoughts and feelings. Safely tucked behind its black mesh. Safely distant and alone.
'You'll have to learn how to talk to her about stuff. About her mother. About why you left. About everything that's happened since you went to try and save the world.'
No. It wouldn't be easy. He had come full-circle. Shadow tossed the shroud at his bedroll near the fire and hid himself from the feelings. He was tired. Too tired to face them and survive.
'Shadow, if you do this, you will need to stay gone.'
He stood and made his way to his bedroll, lying back to drape an arm across his eyes. Laughter and a tight grip on his hand drifted out of his memory and twisted his insides. Cheerful chatter. Humor and smiles. The wedding had been the beginning of the end of Shadow's life. No. Even before that. Shadow had known his life was coming to a close when Ledo's evil had been put to rest. He'd known Clyde demanded freedom from the cage within his dark self. There was no more vengeance to be sought.
'The answer may be simple, but doing it will be the hard part. I just believe that this is a possible way for you to get your family back.'
Shadow released a deep breath and drifted to the blackness of sleep.
5: A Dying Wish
Shadow wore his shroud the next morning.
Terra's spirits dropped. Edgar noticed. He wrapped an arm around her waist and placed a couple of kisses on the back of her neck as she tore down the tent. "This was but the first night of many, soul light. Do not give up."
She nodded with a deep breath, sent him a quivering smile, and then watched him as he made his way to Shadow. One or two intense discussions were nowhere near enough to help him make such an important decision. She had to be patient. Terra focused back on the tent. It would be hard, but she was willing to see it through. Just as Shadow had done for her on countless occasions.
The camp was packed up, the chocobos were loaded, and then the group set off for Nikeah once more. The pace wasn't quite as maniacal has it had been the previous day, and that instantly raised Terra's hopes. Shadow actually seemed to be in a thoughtful and quiet mood. Interceptor noticed the change as well, and he continued to send questioning glances toward not only his master, but Terra as well. She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but how did one know whether or not a dog was reassured?
Terra giggled under her breath, noticing Edgar's adoring glance as she brushed a stray ringlet from her forehead. She met his eyes and he winked at her. She flushed and looked away. He'd been a constant source of encouragement and strength. A giver of understanding and compassion at the exact moment she needed it. His wisdom amazed her, drawing her heart closer to him than she thought possible. Saying she loved him was no longer enough. She hadn't lived long enough to know what word could possibly describe the feelings she held for him.
And each day brought a new discovery of who he was.
"Terra?"
She looked up and caught Edgar's amused expression. "Hm? What? I'm sorry. Were you saying something?"
"No, but our traveling companion did."
Terra changed her focus to Shadow, cheeks aflame as she stammered out an apology. "I'm sorry, Shadow. I didn't hear you."
"I have a favor to ask you."
Terra glanced toward Edgar, who still smiled with mild amusement, and refocused her attention to Shadow. "Of course. What is it?"
"Would you and Edgar go on ahead? So that you are there in Thamasa with Relm before I arrive?"
"I suppose we could do that." She shifted her gaze to Edgar. "Right?"
Edgar shrugged, and his expression clearly held mild confusion. "I don't foresee a problem, Shadow, but I am curious as to the reason."
Shadow said nothing. He simply moved away, Interceptor tagging along behind him with what almost seemed to be reluctance. Edgar and Terra watched him in silence.
"Do you suppose...? Could he be considering your idea?" Edgar asked softly.
"I don't know. Maybe." Terra's brows knit together. "Do you think he could be?"
"I suppose anything is possible, especially from Shadow. It does give one cause to wonder."
"Did you see Interceptor's reaction?" Terra asked as they prodded their chocobos to a slow walk. "He wasn't too happy about something."
"Yes, I had noticed." Edgar pulled his chocobo close enough to hers that he was able to rest a hand on her knee. His thumb caressed small circles on it. "Shadow's favor has become a wondrous opportunity for me. It seems we will have a second honeymoon, my little Esper angel."
Terra covered his hand with hers and sent him an innocent glance. "Oh. Was our first one over?"
Edgar blinked. Then he smiled, and his hand released her knee to adjust his hold on the reins of the chocobo. It cooed. "Now that is truly the most wonderful statement I have heard pass from your lips."
Terra giggled.
*
They arrived in Nikeah a few days later. Terra and Shadow hadn't shared another twilight conversation, and Edgar had been avoided--much to his surprise. Any surprise or disappointment was easily put aside, however, as he and Terra shared many a moonlight rendezvous, both outside the circle of the campfire's light and within the inviting closeness of their tent. While these well-timed escapes had originally been for the sole purpose of experiencing a private and intimate moment, the two found themselves cuddling together in the soft darkness discussing their traveling companion's possible decision.
The time together gave Terra exactly what she needed in order to accept Shadow's decision of secrecy.
Now, the trio was on the Nikeah dock getting ready to temporarily part company. Shadow removed a pouch from somewhere on his person and handed it to Terra. She stared down at it for a long moment before catching Shadow's guarded gaze.
"Give that to her. Tell her he won't be back. Tell her he met his match at the Coliseum. Tell her--tell her anything you believe she will accept as the truth." Shadow knelt and rested a hand on Interceptor's head. Then he straightened and gestured to the massive beast. "Tell her Interceptor has no home, and that it was Shadow's dying w
ish she take him."
"Dying wish?" Terra's throat tightened, and she felt Edgar wrap a comforting arm around her waist. "You're going to . . . ?"
"Shadow has no purpose. The Empire is gone. My wife is avenged. What else is there for him to do but fade into the existence that was his name?"
Shadow turned and lost himself in the crowd as Terra and Edgar silently stared after him. After a moment, Terra turned to face Edgar with tear-filled eyes. "Did he mean that he's going to die? Or that he's going to be Clyde? I can't tell. I don't know what I should believe."
Edgar continued to stare off in the direction Shadow had taken. "I do not know, Terra. Perhaps he doesn't yet have the answer."
Terra shifted her gaze to the pouch. "Relm will be heartbroken."
"She is young, Terra, and her heart will mend." Edgar lifted her chin, caressing her cheek as he smiled. "Come, soul light. Let us away."
Terra allowed herself to be guided to the ferry. As they put out to sea, Terra looked back to the dock and clutched the pouch to her chest. "Come home, Clyde. Come home," she whispered.
Edgar drew her against him with a kiss to her hair and an arm protectively encircling her. Interceptor whined and leaned a shoulder against her leg.
*
Shadow watched the ship until it disappeared into the distance. Then he turned and entered the shop, removing his shroud before the door closed completely behind him.
6: The Stranger
Terra took in a deep breath as she again squeezed Edgar's hand. "Well, here it goes."
They heard a door open and close moments before a very recognizable Relm squeal pierced the air. She ran up to them with twinkling eyes and a wide and eager smile as she asked them myriad of questions as to why they were there, why Interceptor was with them if Shadow wasn't, and where Sabin and the others were. Edgar and Terra did their best to answer each question, but for each answered was another in its place. As Edgar continued to wade through the quickly rising tide of questions, Terra smiled and watched her.
Relm had always been precocious and adorable, with her bright eyes and naturally blond tousle of curls. To Terra and the others, Relm's eagerness to stray from what her grandfather believed was appropriate made her what she was: an independent ten-year-old who turned twelve when they hadn't been looking. Now she rapidly approached teen-hood. She still appeared as young and innocent as ever, with the obvious exception of her sharp tongue and quick wit. Terra, with what Shadow told her of Amanda, could see the woman in the bright clarity of Relm's expression.
Relm's clear green eyes focused on Terra. "Did you need me to watch the kids again?"
Terra's smile widened, and she gathered the girl into a hug. "No. We haven't seen you in a while and thought it would be nice to get away." She thought of the pouch in her possession and the smile dissipated. She pushed back and caught Relm's gaze. "We have some bad news, though. We didn't find out until we were in Nikeah."
Relm's eyes displayed an expression of wariness so similar to Shadow that Terra nearly cried.
"Bad news? What are you talking about?" Relm asked.
Edgar stepped forward and rested a hand on Relm's shoulder. The girl swung her gaze to him, watching as he took the pouch from Terra's belt and handed it to her. "Shadow . . . Shadow wanted you to have this, Relm. He wished for you to care for Interceptor as well."
Tears instantly sprang to her eyes. "What? What are you talking about? Interceptor is Shadow's dog! He wouldn't just give him away!"
Edgar sent Terra a helpless expression before turning back to Relm. "Shadow knew that you would take care of--"
"Shadow can take care of him," Relm shouted, backing off from the two with tears trailing down her cheeks. Interceptor came to stand behind her, nudging at the back of her leg to keep her from running away.
Terra took a hesitant step forward, reaching out to gently take Relm's hands. She knelt and gave the hands a gentle squeeze as the girl silently cried. "Relm, you know bad things sometimes happen. Shadow knew that, too." Relm shook her head, a pained expression darkening her eyes to the seas of a winter storm. She pulled her hands from Terra's. "He also knew you liked Interceptor and that he liked you. Won't you take care of him until Shadow can come back?"
Terra presented the pouch again, and Relm hesitantly took it. "Will he come back?"
"I don't know. At least you can take care of his dog until we know for certain. Won't you do that for Shadow?"
Relm nodded slowly, opening the pouch to pull out a tattered embroidered scarf. A tear dripped onto it and she sniffed. "It looks like the one he used to wear."
Terra looked down at it with a slow breath. It was the one he wore the evening he told her of his past life. Maybe it was the one he purchased when first becoming 'Shadow'. Maybe it was the one his late wife wore. Whatever the answer, it held special meaning for Shadow. Why else would he give it to Relm? "Yes, it does."
"Why do you suppose he gave it to me?"
Terra hesitated and cast Edgar a glance. He smiled and rested a hand on her back for encouragement. "Maybe because he knew how special you are. After all, Interceptor likes you best. He only tolerates us," Terra said.
Relm smiled slightly and looked up to catch Terra's gaze. "I'm going to miss him."
Terra nodded and brushed the tears from the girl's cheeks. "So will we, Relm. All of us."
Relm sighed deeply, pushing away the heart break with a tenacity that always amazed the others. She took Terra's hand. "Come on. You better come in and say 'hi' to the old geezer before he blows an artery."
"Will he mind our staying?" Edgar asked.
Relm shrugged as they made their way to the house, Interceptor immediately falling into step beside her. "Probably, but I don't care." She glanced toward them with a strange expression. "He's not feeling too well lately, so he's kind of grumpy. Spends most of his time in bed."
Terra tried not to sound alarmed. "I suppose you've already had the doctor over to make sure he's not blowing everything out of proportion."
Relm shrugged again. "I called him, but grandpa just shrieked and said he didn't need any kind of witch doctor looking at him and making like he knew what he was talking about. He just wanted to be left alone."
"I see." Terra sent Edgar another look, and he raised his hands in a helpless gesture. "Well, I'm sure he'll be fine. He'd know whether or not he needed a doctor, wouldn't he?"
"You never know with grandpa. The old geezer lost his mind ages ago, I think."
Edgar tousled her curls with a chuckle. "You love him anyway, Relm."
She waved off his hands and sent him a scowl. "Humph. Whatever."
*
"Strago?" Terra crested the stairs of the bedroom and looked around for the old mage. He sat at a table in his housecoat writing letters. "Strago, are you too busy for a talk?"
"Probably, but you never let that stop you."
Terra smiled and came to sit on the edge of the bed by the writing desk. "It's about Relm and her father and mother."
Strago's grip on his pen tightened, but he kept writing. "What about them?" he asked gruffly.
"What do you know about them? Are they dead?"
"If they weren't, do you think she'd be with me?"
"Does she know about them?"
"What's to know?"
Terra took in a deep breath and released it slowly. "He stopped by the castle, Strago. He's coming."
Strago's pale complexion yellowed. "Who's coming?"
"Clyde." Strago said nothing. Terra looked down at her knees and picked at an imaginary spot. "What are you going to do?"
"About what?"
Terra looked up. "Strago, you know what I'm talking about. What are you going to do when he shows up? Are you going to refuse to let him in? Are you going to deny everything? What?"
Strago threw down his pen and glared at her. "What can I do about anything when it comes to that little dear? She does what she wants! Just like her mother! Just like her father! If he comes, he comes. If he t
ells her, he tells her. I'm still her grandpa and I'll still be here to pick up the pieces when he runs away again."
"He didn't run away, Strago. You know that."
"Oh, I know what he said back then, but I also know that ten years is a long time to be away from the daughter you supposedly loved so damn much." Strago shook his head with a long succession of coughs, and then he took in a slow breath. "No, Terra, I won't come between her and her father, if he's decided to finally come home for good. I won't make things easier, either. He better have some good reasons as to why he's been away for so long."
Terra stood and dropped her gaze. "He told me that he'd do his best. Just . . . just try and be understanding, Strago. Please."
"If he's got a good excuse, I'll be understanding. If not, tough luck."
"Strago--"
"That's as good as it gets."
Terra sighed and turned for the stairs. "All right. Thank you, Strago."
"Humph."
Edgar met Terra at the bottom of the stairs with a kiss on the cheek. "How did it go, soul light?"
"As well as expected, I suppose."
"I take it Strago will be understanding to a certain point."
Terra nodded and wrapped her arms around Edgar for a comforting embrace. "I hope it's enough."
Edgar kissed the top of her head. "You cannot heal them all, soul heart. Try your best, but do not expect all to be totally and completely restored. Life is seldom as perfect as what we have been led to believe it should be."
"Why not? My life with you seems perfect enough."
Edgar smiled and tightened his arms around her. "Ah. I see, then, that our storybook romance has made you forget the harshness of the real world."
She giggled and snuggled in closer. "No, I haven't forgotten. It just seems more like a bad dream than anything else."
"It is most assuredly real, my sweet." He sighed and pulled back, smiling down at her with a twinkle in his bright eyes. "Come, dearest. Let us have a walk. Relm complains of boredom the likes of which we, ourselves, have never experienced. I have promised to rescue her."
Adventures of Youth & Shadows of the Past Page 5
