by Amy Isan
He nodded, but remained silent.
“Do you think I need to stop drinking? I don’t want to end up like my mom and my dad, just barely getting their lives together...”
“I don’t know, I’ve never really had to deal with anything like this.” He hugged me and held me close, his heart racing against mine. “Do you want to stay here? In Bangor? Or we can head home to Reno.”
I squeezed my hands together, feeling like confused about what I wanted. After a long pause, I finally looked at him.
“It would be nice to stay the night in town, since we just flew in. See how things turn out.” I groped for words. He nodded slowly and a smile crossed his lips. I felt a bit better already. He took my hand and squeezed it.
“Well, how about this? We stay for the rest of the week, so you can see how your parents are doing, then we can head back to Reno if you want. As far as my work is concerned, I’m not due back until next weekend.”
“That sounds good to me.” He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, and I felt a little bit of his guard fall.
“Let me just say goodbye to my mom and dad real quick, and I’ll be ready to go.” I kissed him for a moment, holding our lips together and bathing in that warm glow he gave me. I lingered, before letting go and heading into my mom’s room. She was laughing with my dad about something.
I don’t think I had seen them laugh in years. My mom turned to me and wiped a small tear from her cheek. Her voice was still a bit weak, and a little hoarse.
“Cate, I’m glad you came. Whose the man you’re with?”
“That’s Hugh... do you remember him from a couple years ago?” I asked. Her face went blank, and she furrowed her brow. I continued, “We dated a little in high school, and we ran into each other when I first moved back.”
Her face lit up, “Oh! Hugh! I remember him,” she smiled at my dad, before adding, “He was a pretty nice kid... a little bit of a trouble maker.”
I laughed. “I suppose he was.”
“Is he still a handful?”
“He’s the vice president of a power company in Nevada.”
“VP huh? I guess you don’t need to go back to college, eh?”
I hadn’t even thought about that. I went blank, and stared out the room window. Hugh was on his phone, his free hand crossed against his chest and tucked under his elbow. I turned back to my mom and nervously chuckled. “I guess so.”
“No pressure of course.” My mom winked at me. She fidgeted with her pillow, and winced a little from accidentally pulling on one of her IVs. “Are you staying in town?”
“I think we’ll stay here for a while. We just came from a vacation in Massachusetts, so Hugh isn’t expected back at work for the rest of the week at least.”
“You don’t have to, Cat. God knows...” Her voice started to waver a little. “I haven’t... really been around.” Tears welled up in her eyes, and started to spill over. My chest tightened.
“Mom...” I reached out to try and touch her. My dad hadn’t moved, but I could sense a change in him.
She waved me away. “It’s okay! My doctor says that I’m just going through a lot of stress right now, and it’ll get harder before its easier. I’ve been sobbing on and off all night.”
“Will you be okay?”
“I will, I just have to,” she gulped down her rising throat. “Stay with it. Having your father here is probably one of the best gifts I could have.”
She looked at him, and squeezed his hand. “I don’t know how he didn’t leave me before.”
“You know how Tammy,” he said. He squatted down next to her bed and kissed her hand. “I love you and I’ve always loved you.”
My mom cried harder, but through the wet mess, she smiled.
“I’ll leave you guys alone again.” I said. I was ready to leave. If I didn’t, I was liable to start crying too, and I really didn’t want to do that. I already felt so raw inside.
“No, you come here first,” my mom said. She reached her hand out. I moved next to her on the opposite side of my dad, and she squeezed us both. I hugged her, and my emotional dam broke loose.
Tears streamed down my face, hard sobbing shaking them loose from my chin, I buried my face into her and tried to quiet my wails. She stifled her own tears, and stroked my hair, assuring me everything was going to be okay.
“I missed you Mom,” I choked out. “I missed you so much.”
“I know, I know Cat. I missed you too.”
After a few minutes, I pulled away from my mom and found her fast asleep. Her chest moved quietly, contrasting the beep of the machines connected to her. My dad nodded to me.
“She’s exhausted,” he said. “I can’t believe she stayed awake even this long. I’m glad you got here after she became lucid, she was a mess earlier.”
I didn’t take my eyes off her. “It couldn’t have been worse than what I’ve seen before. What I’ve been avoiding seeing for the last couple of years.”
“Things will be different. I’ve been working the program for a while now. I can show her the ropes.”
I sighed, trying to control my emotions again. My dad looked at me.
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. She’ll still be around when you come back to Maine... to visit.”
I shook my head. “No. I want to stay. I have to.” I bit my lip, and searched the room. I looked outside, the glow of the city horizon peeking through the venetian blinds. My dad cupped his forehead in his hands, his elbows planted on the bed.
Nodding, I started gathering my things to leave. “You look exhausted, Dad. You should get some rest too.”
“Never mind me. I’ll be okay. I can do this much for your mom.” I paused and he went silent.
“When could I visit again?”
“Just give me a call and I’ll let you know how things are going okay? We might have to wait a couple of days, we don’t know. They’ll wait to see if she’s stabilized tomorrow morning before they discharge her.” He cracked a smile. “Then we’ll start looking into rehab clinics. It’s a good thing your mom wants it.” He sighed heavily. “Finally.”
“Okay.” I gave him a hug, and he squeezed me. My dad probably hadn’t hugged me like that since I was little, before he was a raging drunk. It felt nice to have one parent back, and soon, two.
I left the room and met Hugh in the hall again. He glanced at his watch.
“While you were saying good bye, I was able to grab the penthouse suite at the Ritz again.” He took my hand and we made our way out of the hospital. Hugh had a taxi waiting for us.
***
Once we reached the hotel, my emotions ripped themselves out of me again. I felt a mixture of rage and emptiness.
I dropped my bag at the door and threw myself on the bed. I turned to watch Hugh move about the room. I wondered how many times he had stayed at this hotel. It was already really strange for me, a kind of nauseating sense of déjà vu.
“Come to bed,” I whined. He was pacing the room, his socks scraping against the carpet. I looked at the clock. “It’s nearly 4 am, why are you restless?”
He stared through me. “I’m just thinking about things...” then he focused on me, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I’m going to sleep though.” I started taking my clothes off, and moving the sheets to climb under. He helped take my shoes off before propping a pillow at the head of the bed.
“You should rest.”
“Gladly.” I sighed. “Anything to make today end already.”
***
The night went by quickly and dreamlessly. I was glad I often forgot my dreams, because I’m sure they would have been nightmares. The sun trickled into the penthouse and twinkled between the blinds. I groaned, rolling over to face away from the light.
I slowly opened my eyes and saw my phone sitting on the nightstand. I picked it up and called my dad. The phone rang for only a couple of seconds before he answered.
“Hi... Dad.”
&nbs
p; “What’s going on?” he asked. I swallowed hard.
“When can I see you guys? You told me to call.” I sighed.
“The doctors are still finishing up some tests. I’ll let you know soon. You and Hugh should do something besides worry anyway. Get some fresh air maybe?” It sounded like he was wrestling with some papers.
“Okay. I’ll try to distract myself.” I hung up, letting the phone rest in my hand for a minute before putting it away. I rolled back into the pillows, a slight groan in my voice. I looked at Hugh. “What should we do?”
“Why don’t we get out of the hotel and go visit my dad? Seeing your family made me think of how little I see my own.”
I pulled my head out of the pile of pillows and sheets. “Okay.”
He stood up and walked into the bathroom, his feet slapping the tiled floor. I heard the shower turn on.
Hugh’s dad. It’d been a long time since I saw him.
I looked through the open bathroom door and watched the steam coil out of the shower, the scent of shampoo mixing in the air.
I should be joining him, so why don’t I have a little bit of fun?
I cracked the seal on the mini-fridge and peeked inside. I really shouldn’t be thinking about alcohol right now. I considered it for a moment, then decided to take a shot of rum. Loosen my inhibitions a little bit, get my mind off last night. After feeling the weight of the smooth liquid coat my mouth, I shivered. I went into the bathroom and thought about what I was going to do to him. The mirror was fogged and the steam made me feel hotter than I already was.
Just as I was gathering the courage to step into the shower, he shut the tap off and climbed out. The water was still running in channels off his chiseled abs. He looked a little surprised to see me, but his expression quickly turned coy. I moved closer to him and ran my hand over his slick body, the scent of his minty shampoo washing over me.
Wordlessly, he cupped my face with his hand.
I teased him. I brushed his hips, dragging my finger down that canyon in his skin. I didn’t touch his cock though, which I think only excited him more, judging by the twitch he gave me.
I knelt down in front of him, spreading out. The steam rising off his body wetted my face.
I squeezed his cock, feeling it throb beneath my fingers. It grew hard almost immediately, and there was only one thing I really wanted to do with it.
“Would you be offended if I sucked your cock?”
“Not at all,” he whispered. He brushed my hair away from my cheek.
I pulled his cock into my mouth, tasting the hard shower water as I replaced it with my spit. He groaned, moving to maintain his balance. I felt the alcohol slam into me, slightly inebriating me.
I slurped up my spit, and pushed my head down over his cock, reaching his balls. He shuddered when I pushed my tongue against his head, rubbing it on the roof of my mouth.
“Jesus, Caitlin,” he mumbled. His hand moved from my shoulder and gripped the back of my head. He started thrusting into me, and I braced myself to match him, his salty skin tasting glorious.
“Come in my mouth Hugh, that’s all I want,” I said. I gripped the base of his rod and sank it back into my mouth, dabbling the back of my throat. He shuddered again, and I felt a twitch.
Then he came, his cock throbbing in bursts inside my mouth, each one punctuated by the salty and chemical aftertaste of his pleasure. I drank it, swallowing it.
“Oh god,” he cried out, seizing my hair in a fistful. I winced as he released me.
His clean body was tainted with sweat now, which I relished. I grinned at him as I stood up, and he brought me in for a kiss.
I fell into him, his tongue dancing inside my mouth. As he pulled away, he caught my lip and sucked.
“Mhmm, that was a good way to start the morning.”
I gave him a devious smile, before turning to leave the bathroom.
***
Hugh’s parents’ house hadn’t changed much from when I last saw it. It was a quaint little home, with horizontal siding and a black roof. The yard was a bit overgrown, but it gave it a charming feeling.
As we climbed the front steps, I spotted a set of soft chairs nestled next to each other on the porch. A humming bird feeder was dangling half-full from the eave.
Hugh gave the door two hard knocks, and stepped back to wait. An older man answered the door. He was a dead ringer for Hugh, just about thirty years older. He had an impressive moustache. “Hugh?” the man answered, “What’re you up to comin’ around here?” He opened the door and pushed the screen door out. Hugh grabbed it and we stepped in.
Hugh joked, “I’m just visiting my old man, is that a crime?”
“If you spend so much time away from me, it might start being a crime,” he answered. When he talked, his mustache seemed to twitch a little on its own.
“Dad, this is Caitlin,” Hugh said. He gestured to me as if I was being presented. “Caitlin, this is my dad, Sam.”
Sam’s face wrinkled as he studied me. His face was slightly sunburnt.
“Nice to meet you, Sam.” I shook his hand.
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Sam said. He pulled my hand in and planted a kiss on it. I was surprised. People still did that? His upper lip tickled me.
“I don’t remember you being such a lady-killer, Mr. Evans.” I said, taking my hand back.
“Remember...? Is this the same Caitlin from high school, Hugh?”
“I am,” I answered for Hugh. “I remember coming over a bunch of times.”
“We mostly stayed out and about, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t really remember... you are getting old.”
“I’m not that old, not yet,” Sam said. He grinned. “I never forget a pretty face, and I remember you talking about her before you left for college.”
I studied Hugh’s face, “Oh really?”
Hugh seemed uncomfortable, and he fidgeted, which made Sam laugh.
“Why don’t you come in and sit down? We’ll have some coffee or something fancy like that.” Sam vanished into the house, as Hugh and I walked in. While I didn’t remember every detail of the house, it did come back to me as I moved through the hallways.
The front entry expanded quickly into a living room, with a small TV planted in a corner. A set of love seats faced each other, and the hardwood floor was covered in thick rugs. It felt warm and inviting.
Hugh and I made ourselves comfortable on a small love seat, and I admired the paintings. They were all signed with a flourished “E,” and were mostly of small sailboats along the coast.
I pointed at a painting. “Did your dad make these?”
“No, those are my mom’s paintings. Before she died,” Hugh said. “She has hundreds, and my dad trades them out every couple of months. I love coming to visit because I swear there are always paintings I’ve never seen. It’s like she’s still here.”
Sam called out from the kitchen, “You two want any coffee?”
“I’d love some,” I said. I wasn’t a big coffee drinker, but it seemed right to accept the offer.
Hugh agreed, and Sam shuffled back with two cups of coffee. After handing us our cups, he sat down, facing us.
“So what brings you here?” Sam asked. I drank a little of my coffee. It was hard and black, just the way I liked it.
“We just thought we’d get outside for a little bit.” Hugh covered for me. I was glad, I didn’t want to talk to Sam about my mom, not yet.
“When did you two get back together?” he asked, there was a curious undertone in his voice.
Hugh blushed and shook his head. “About a week ago, I’d say.”
I got a word in edgewise, “A really quick week.”
“That’s so wonderful,” Sam said. He held his hand to his chest, and looked up. “You two are welcome to stay as long as you want. God knows I got nothing going on anymore.” He grinned, pushing up from his chair. “More coffee?”
***
A couple of hours later, we decided to get going.
We said goodbye to Sam, who said he’d have to meet my parents sometime. I agreed.
Back in another taxi, I called my dad, who picked up pretty quickly.
“Are you and Mom free?”
“Yeah! I was just thinking about calling you,” he said. He sounded like he was in a much better mood. “Everything checked out and they’re releasing her. We’ll be at home for a couple of hours before we look into the local clinics.”
“Okay. We’ll head over right now,” I nodded to Hugh. He leaned over into the front seat and told the cab driver the address for my parents’ house. I mouthed the words, ‘Thank you.’
“Sounds great. See you soon.” My dad ended the call. I reclined back in my seat as the cab pulled out off the side of the road and merged into traffic.
Hugh leaned over to me, our shoulders pressing together. He kissed my neck, right under my ear, sending shivers up my spine. I closed my eyes and held him there, feeling that love wash over me.
Love? Could I already be feeling that? Was it easier if I had already been in love with him before?
I lowered my gaze as I thought about my feelings, while Hugh continued giving me light kisses on the neck. I had to stifle my giggles, feeling like I was in high school again.
***
After getting dropped off at my parents’ house, Hugh and I ran into my dad pulling the trash cans to the curb. He wiped his brow and smiled.
“Your mom’s inside, she’ll be happy to see you.”
Hugh and my dad followed me inside, where I found my mom laying on the couch. When she heard the front door open, she darted up and looked to see who it was.
I sat down next to her and gave her a tight hug, wrinkling the back of her shirt with my fingers. “Hi Mom, how are you feeling?”
“Pretty good, a little nervous.” Hugh sat down next to me and held my hand.
“Nervous?” I asked. My mom gave Hugh a quick look before continuing.
“What if it doesn’t work...? What if I get out and I relapse?”
It pained me to see her so anxious, but she seemed to be in a pretty good mood otherwise. I thought about what to say, what might help.
