by Various
"It certainly seems absurd to me!" agreed Mrs. Silver.
"It was the only thing we could do. There was no one else we could trust."
"But what does he know about cakes?"
"My dear, he has the most exquisite sense of taste!"
"I still don't understand."
"It's superhuman. Before we adopted Professor Halder's suggestion, we gave him a few tests. The results simply left us gasping. We could mix all sorts of spices--the most delicate, most exotic herbs from Venus or Mars, and the strongest, coarsest flavors from Earth or one of the plant-growing asteroids--and he could tell us everything we had added, and exactly how much."
* * * * *
"I find that hard to believe, Matilda."
"Isn't it? It's honestly incredible. If I hadn't seen him do it myself, I wouldn't have believed it."
"But he doesn't have human preferences. Wasn't he--wasn't he--"
"Carnivorous? Oh, yes. They say he was the most vicious creature imaginable. Let an animal come within a mile of him, and he'd scent it and be after it in a flash. He and the others of his kind made the moon he came from uninhabitable for any other kind of intelligent life. Come to think of it, it may have been the very moon we're on now!"
"Really?"
"Either this, or some other moon of Saturn's. We had to do something about it. We didn't want to kill them off, naturally; that would have been the easiest way, but so uncivilized! Finally, our scientists came up with the suggestion for psychological reforming. Professor Halder told us how difficult it all was, but it seems to have worked. In his case, at least."
Mrs. Silver stole another glance. "Did it? I don't notice any one going near him."
"Oh, we don't like to tempt fate, Clara. But, if there were really any danger, I'm sure the psychologists would never have let him out of their clutches."
"I hope not. But psychologists take the most reckless risks sometimes--with other people's lives!"
"Well, there's one psychologist who's risking his own life--and his own wife, too. You know Dr. Cabanis, don't you?"
"Only by sight. Isn't his wife that stuck-up thing?"
"That's the one. Dr. Cabanis is the man who had actual charge of reforming him. And he's going to be here. His wife is entering a cake."
"Don't tell me that she really expects to win!"
"She bakes well, my dear. Let's give the she-devil her due. How on Earth an intelligent man like Dr. Cabanis can stand her, I don't know, but, after all, he's the psychologist, not I, and he could probably explain it better than I could."
* * * * *
Ronar disengaged his attention.
So Dr. Cabanis was here. He looked around, but the psychologist was not in sight. He would probably arrive later.
The thought stirred a strange mixture of emotions. Some of the most painful moments of his life were associated with the presence of Dr. Cabanis. His early life, the life of a predatory carnivore, had been an unthinkingly happy one. He supposed that he could call his present life a happy one too, if you weren't overly particular how you defined the term. But that period in between!
That had been, to say the least, painful. Those long sessions with Dr. Cabanis had stirred him to the depths of a soul he hadn't known he possessed. The electric shocks and the druggings he hadn't minded so much. But the gradual reshaping of his entire psyche, the period of basic instruction, in which he had been taught to hate his old life so greatly that he could no longer go back to it even if the way were open, and the conditioning for a new and useful life with human beings--that was torture of the purest kind.
If he had known what was ahead of him, he wouldn't have gone through it at all. He'd have fought until he dropped, as so many of the others like him did. Still, now that it was over, he supposed that the results were worth the pain. He had a position that was more important than it seemed at first glance. He exercised control over a good part of the food supply intended for the outer planets, and his word was trusted implicitly. Let him condemn an intended shipment, and cancellation followed automatically, without the formality of confirmation by laboratory tests. He was greatly admired. And feared.
They had other feelings about him too. He overheard one whisper that surprised him. "My dear, I think he's really handsome."
"But, Charlotte, how can you say that about someone who isn't even human!"
"He looks more human than many human beings do. And his clothes fit him beautifully. I wonder--does he have a tail?"
"Not that I know of."
"Oh." There was disappointment in the sound. "He looks like a pirate."
"He was a kind of wolf, they tell me. You'd never guess, to see him, that he ran on all fours, would you?"
"Of course not. He's so straight and dignified."
"It just shows you what psychology can do."
* * * * *
"Psychology, and a series of operations, dear ladies," he thought sarcastically. "Without them I wouldn't be able to stand so nice and straight with the help of all the psychologists in this pretty little solar system of ours."
From behind a potted Martian nut-cactus came two low voices--not whispers this time. And there was several octaves difference in pitch between them. One male, one female.
The man said, "Don't be worried, sweetheart. I'll match your cooking and baking against anybody's."
There was a curious sound, between a click and a hiss. What human beings called a kiss, he thought. Between the sexes, usually an indication of affection or passion. Sometimes, especially within the ranks of the female sex, a formality behind which warfare could be waged.
The girl said tremulously, "But these women have so much experience. They've cooked and baked for years."
"Haven't you, for your own family?"
"Yes, but that isn't the same thing. I had to learn from a cookbook. And I had no one with experience to stand over me and teach me."
"You've learned faster that way than you'd have done with some of these old hens standing at your elbow and giving you directions. You cook too well. I'll be fat in no time."
"Your mother doesn't think so. And your brother said something about a bride's biscuits--"
"The older the joke, the better Charles likes it. Don't let it worry you." He kissed her again. "Have confidence in yourself, dear. You're going to win."
"Oh, Gregory, it's awfully nice of you to say so, but really I feel so unsure of myself."
"If only the judge were human and took a look at you, nobody else would stand a chance. Have I told you within the last five minutes that you're beautiful?"
* * * * *
Ronar disengaged his attention again. He found human love-making as repulsive as most human food.
He picked up a few more whispers. And then Dr. Cabanis came in.
The good doctor looked around, smiled, greeted several ladies of his acquaintance as if he were witnessing a private strip-tease of their souls, and then came directly up to the platform. "How are you, Ronar?"
"Fine, Doctor. Are you here to keep an eye on me?"
"I hardly think that's necessary. I have an interest in the results of the judging. My wife has baked a cake."
"I had no idea that cake-baking was so popular a human avocation."
"Anything that requires skill is sure to become popular among us. By the way, Ronar, I hope you don't feel hurt."
"Hurt, Doctor? What do you mean?"
"Come now, you understand me well enough. These people still don't trust you. I can tell by the way they keep their distance."
"I take human frailty into account, Doctor. Frailty, and lack of opportunity. These men and women haven't had the opportunity for extensive psychological treatment that I've had. I don't expect too much of them."
"You've scored a point there, Ronar."
"Isn't there something that can be done for them, Doctor? Some treatment that it would be legal to give them?"
"It would have to be voluntary. You see, Ronar, you were considered only an anima
l, and treatment was necessary to save your life. But these people are supposed to have rights. One of their rights is to be left alone with their infirmities. Besides, none of them are seriously ill. They hurt no one."
For a second Ronar had a human temptation. It was on the tip of his tongue to say, "Your wife too, Doctor? People wonder how you stand her." But he resisted it. He had resisted more serious temptations.
* * * * *
A gong sounded gently but pervasively. Dr. Cabanis said, "I hope you have no resentment against me at this stage of the game, Ronar. I'd hate to have my wife lose the prize because the judge was prejudiced."
"Have no fear, Doctor. I take professional pride in my work. I will choose only the best."
"Of course, the fact that the cakes are numbered and not signed with the names of their creators will make things simpler."
"That would matter with human judges. It does not affect me."
Another gong sounded, more loudly this time. Gradually the conversation stopped. A man in a full dress suit, with yellow stripes down the sides of his shorts, and tails hanging both front and rear, climbed up on the platform. His eyes shone with a greeting so warm that the fear was almost completely hidden. "How are you, Ronar? Glad to see you."
"I'm fine, Senator. And you?"
"Couldn't be better. Have a cigar."
"No, thank you. I don't smoke."
"That's right, you don't. Besides, I'd be wasting the cigar. You don't vote!" He laughed heartily.
"I understand that they're passing a special law to let--people--like me vote at the next election."
"I'm for it, Ronar, I'm for it. You can count on me."
The chairman came up on the platform, a stout and dignified woman who smiled at both Ronar and the Senator, and shook hands with both without showing signs of distaste for either. The assembled competitors and spectators took seats.
The chairman cleared her throat. "Ladies and gentlemen, let us open this meeting by singing the Hymn of All Planets."
* * * * *
They all rose, Ronar with them. His voice wasn't too well adapted to singing, but neither, it seemed, were most of the human voices. And, at least, he knew all the words.
The chairman proceeded to greet the gathering formally, in the name of the Presiding Committee.
Then she introduced Senator Whitten. She referred archly to the fact that the Senator had long since reached the age of indiscretion and had so far escaped marriage. He was an enemy of the female sex, but they'd let him speak to them anyway.
Senator Whitten just as archly took up the challenge. He had escaped more by good luck--if you could call it good--than by good management. But he was sure that if he had ever had the fortune to encounter some of the beautiful ladies here this fine day, and to taste the products of their splendid cooking and baking, he would have been a lost man. He would long since have committed polygamy.
Senator Whitten then launched into a paean of praise for the ancient art of preparing food.
Ronar's attention wandered. So did that of a good part of the audience. His ears picked up another conversation, this time whispered between a man and a woman in the front row.
The man said, "I should have put your name on it, instead of mine."
"That would have been silly. All my friends know that I can't bake. And it would look so strange if I won."
"It'll look stranger if I win. I can imagine what the boys in the shop will say."
"Oh, the boys in the shop are stupid. What's so unmanly in being able to cook and bake?"
"I'm not anxious for the news to get around."
"Some of the best chefs have been men."
"I'm not a chef."
"Stop worrying." There was exasperation in the force of her whisper. "You won't win anyway."
"I don't know. Sheila--"
"What?"
"If I win, will you explain to everybody how manly I really am? Will you be my character witness?"
She repressed a giggle.
"If you won't help me, I'll have to go around giving proof myself."
"Shh, someone will hear you."
Senator Whitten went on and on.
* * * * *
Ronar thought back to the time when he had wandered over the surface of this, his native satellite. He no longer had the old desires, the old appetites. Only the faintest of ghosts still persisted, ghosts with no power to do harm. But he could remember the old feeling of pleasure, the delight of sinking his teeth into an animal he had brought down himself, the savage joy of gulping the tasty flesh. He didn't eat raw meat any more; he didn't eat meat at all. He had been conditioned against it. He was now half vegetarian, half synthetarian. His meals were nourishing, healthful, and a part of his life he would rather not think about.
He took no real pleasure in the tasting of the cakes and other delicacies that born human beings favored. His sense of taste had remained keen only to the advantage of others. To himself it was a tantalizing mockery.
Senator Whitten's voice came to a sudden stop. There was applause. The Senator sat down; the chairman stood up. The time for the judging had arrived.
They set out the cakes--more than a hundred of them, topped by icings of all colors and all flavors. The chairman introduced Ronar and lauded both his impartiality and the keenness of his sense of taste.
They had a judging card ready. Slowly, Ronar began to go down the line.
They might just as well have signed each cake with its maker's name. As he lifted a portion of each to his mouth, he could hear the quick intake of breath from the woman who had baked it, could catch the whispered warning from her companion. There were few secrets they could keep from him.
At first they all watched intently. When he had reached the fifth cake, however, a hand went up in the audience. "Madam Chairman!"
"Please, ladies, let us not interrupt the judging."
"But I don't think the judging is right. Mr. Ronar tastes hardly more than a crumb of each!"
"A minimum of three crumbs," Ronar corrected her. "One from the body of the cake, one from the icing, and an additional crumb from each filling between layers."
"But you can't judge a cake that way! You have to eat it, take a whole mouthful--"
"Please, madam, permit me to explain. A crumb is all I need. I can analyze the contents of the cake sufficiently well from that. Let me take for instance Cake Number 4, made from an excellent recipe, well baked. Martian granis flour, goover eggs, tingan-flavored salt, a trace of Venusian orange spice, synthetic shortening of the best quality. The icing is excellent, made with rare dipentose sugars which give it a delightful flavor. Unfortunately, however, the cake will not win first prize."
An anguished cry rose from the audience. "Why?"
"Through no fault of your own, dear lady. The purberries used in making the filling were not freshly picked. They have the characteristic flavor of refrigeration."
"The manager of the store swore to me that they were fresh! Oh, I'll kill him, I'll murder him--"
She broke down in a flood of tears.
* * * * *
Ronar said to the lady who had protested, "I trust, madam, that you will now have slightly greater confidence in my judgment."
She blushed and subsided.
Ronar went on with the testing. Ninety per cent of the cakes he was able to discard at once, from some fault in the raw materials used or in the method of baking. Eleven cakes survived the first elimination contest.
He went over them again, more slowly this time. When he had completed the second round of tests, only three were left. Number 17 belonged to Mrs. Cabanis. Number 43 had been made by the man who argued with his wife. Number 64 was the product of the young bride, whom he had still not seen.
Ronar paused. "My sense of taste is somewhat fatigued. I shall have to ask for a short recess before proceeding further."
There was a sigh from the audience. The tension was not released, it was merely relaxed for a short interval.
&n
bsp; Ronar said to the chairman, "I should like a few moments of fresh air. That will restore me. Do you mind?"
"Of course not, Mr. Ronar."
He went outside. Seen through the thin layer of air which surrounded the group of buildings, and the plastic bubble which kept the air from escaping into space, the stars were brilliant and peaceful. The Sun, far away, was like a father star who was too kind to obliterate his children. Strange, he thought, to recall that this was his native satellite. A few years ago it had been a different world. As for himself, he could live just as well outside the bubble as in it, as well in rarefied air as in dense. Suppose he were to tear a hole in the plastic--
Forbidden thoughts. He checked himself, and concentrated on the three cakes and the three contestants.
"You aren't supposed to let personal feelings interfere. You aren't even supposed to know who baked those cakes. But you know, all right. And you can't keep personal feelings from influencing your judgment.
"Any one of the cakes is good enough to win. Choose whichever you please, and no one will have a right to criticize. To which are you going to award the prize?
"Number 17? Mrs. Cabanis is, as one of the other women has so aptly termed her, a bitch on wheels. If she wins, she'll be insufferable. And she'll probably make her husband suffer. Not that he doesn't deserve it. Still, he thought he was doing me a favor. Will I be doing him a favor if I have his wife win?
"Number 64, now, is insufferable in her own right. That loving conversation with her husband would probably disgust even human ears. On the other hand, there is this to be said for her winning, it will make the other women furious. To think that a young snip, just married, without real experience in home-making, should walk away with a prize of this kind!
"Ah, but if the idea is to burn them up, why not give the prize to Number 43? They'd be ready to drop dead with chagrin. To think that a mere man should beat them at their own specialty! They'd never be able to hold their heads up again. The man wouldn't feel too happy about it, either. Yes, if it's a matter of getting back at these humans for the things they've done to me, if it's a question of showing them what I really think of them, Number 43 should get it.
