For the second time since arriving at Pismo Beach, I realized I was in a town with an unusually hot male population.
As he walked, he switched his board to the other arm, and that’s when I noticed he was also carrying two wildflowers. Two wildflowers that seemed very out of place. He was rugged and ripped with long, messy hair and a stubbled face but there he was, holding two vibrant, delicate flowers.
It made me curious.
I didn’t take my eyes off of him as he walked toward the water. He paused at the water’s edge and looked around as if he was afraid someone would see what he was doing. The second his face turned my way I recognized him.
It was that asshole from the brewery the night before.
Of course it was. Just my luck.
There I was, trying to have a relaxing morning, and now my blood was boiling. I wanted to scream. He’d been so freaking mean. So freaking rude.
The day I finally put myself first, the day I leave my cheating, lying husband behind, what does the first man I encounter do?
He treats me like shit, that’s what.
What did I ever do to the universe that I deserve such bad treatment from men. I honestly couldn’t imagine a girl with less luck in the love department than me. First, I was cursed with falling in love with a lying cheat. Now, I’m cursed with strangers calling me fat in restaurants!
Maybe it was me. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I brought it on myself.
I’d played my part in the scene at the bar last night. I’d said some pretty awful things to that guy, things I regretted. I’d called him a sad, pathetic drunk. That wasn’t like me.
But looking at him now, I knew I didn’t deserve what he’d done. The comments, the insults, the big, heavy duty chair.
Fuck. Him.
I hated this jerk. I don’t care how hot he is.
I watched him paddle his board out into the ocean. He lay flat on his board with the flowers in his mouth to protect them. Despite my anger, I was still curious to see what he was doing with those flowers.
Why on earth was he bringing them out to the water?
And why did his ass have to look so damn perfect in that wetsuit?
Seriously, it was like a perfectly ripe piece of fruit. No, one of those marble statues from ancient Rome. I imagined grabbing those two, ripe cheeks in my greedy hands and squeezing them.
As the waves began to wash up against him, I felt a wetness of my own between my legs.
What would it feel like to hate fuck that guy? For him to really give it to me? For him to take out all the anger from the night before, all the aggression and rage, and unleash it on my tiny, defenseless body?
I squirmed in my seat.
He sat up and straddled his board, holding the flowers as he stared off into the distance. The board rose and fell with the rise and fall of the waves. I couldn’t help but imagine the abs that must have been under that wetsuit. The way the sun was shining down made him glow.
The way he looked, sitting there staring at the ocean, made me feel there must be more to him than what I saw the night before in the brewery.
I watched as he carefully placed the flowers in the water in front of his board. He slowly sat back up and I was pretty sure I saw his hands make the sign of the cross.
Was he really praying out there?
The jerk from last night, the guy who humiliated me for eating too much, was actually having a moment of peaceful prayer?
Wow.
What did that mean?
What did it say about me if I was able to offend even someone like this?
I was strangely touched by the scene. If this was the first time I’d seen him, I’d have been smitten. I’d have been seriously in love. I felt embarrassed when I thought of what he’d seen of me. What we’d seen of each other. He only knew one side of me. I am not the woman he met. I was exhausted, pushed to my breaking point, and even though it was definitely he who’d been the asshole, I wished I could have somehow come off better from the exchange.
What did I know about him? I’d been having a bad day but maybe he was going through something too. What had the bartender said to me? Something about going easy on him?
He moved back onto his stomach, and paddled towards a wave. I watched in awe as he hopped to his feet and caught it. He had such skill, such control, it was obvious he’d been surfing for years.
He looked amazing, a God of the waves. I watched him ride as I finished my muffin and coffee.
I didn’t even notice the time passing until the radio announcer said that it was eight-thirty a.m. That meant the stores were open. I took a final sip of my coffee and started my car. I watched him ride one more wave, and then backed out of my spot and got back on the road.
I rushed into the store to buy the few essentials I needed to make myself presentable. I started with the bathroom basics, a toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, hair brush, a hair straightener, hair spray, facial cleanser, deodorant and a few more makeup options, foundation, concealer, eyeliners, eyeshadows and the must have mascara.
Like I said, just the bare essentials!
Next, I made my way to the women’s clothing section. I was pretty convinced there’d be nothing that I’d actually be caught dead in at Walmart but I found a bra and a few pairs of underwear that didn’t look too bad. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw some adorable dresses and tops too. There were even cute flip flops with gold flowers between the toes.
I had no idea I’d like Walmart so much. The clothes were great. Maybe being out on my own wouldn’t be so bad after all. Matt had trained me to think I needed fancy, expensive things, but maybe he’d just wanted me to believe that so I’d be too afraid to leave him. I was so set in my designer lifestyle that I never even thought to look in a store like this. I was genuinely excited about the items in my cart as I strolled through the clothing section. Getting an all new wardrobe was going to be fun. I grabbed another beautiful summer dress and threw it in on top of the rapidly growing pile.
It was perfect for the beach, but it was classy too, perfect for a date in a fancy restaurant. I had an idea. I’d go back to the brewery that night in it. Maybe my guy would be there. My enemy. Maybe he’d be sober and apologize for his drunken behavior the night before. Maybe we’d both have a second chance to make a good first impression.
When the cart was completely full I made my way to the checkout. As the cashier rang everything through, I noticed the phone chargers on display. I grabbed one, wondering if I’d have any messages waiting for me on my phone.
Had Matt even noticed I was gone yet?
Was he trying to get a hold of me?
The cashier told me the total, and even though I had a purse full of cash, I handed her my credit card. I was curious to see if Matt had cut me off yet.
“Ma’am, it says your card has been declined,” he said bluntly.
“I had a feeling that would happen,” I said, reaching into my purse.
The reality of my situation really sunk in then. I’d known Matt would cancel my cards, but it still hurt. It was a final slap in the face.
It hurt and it made me feel scared too. It wasn’t easy to know for certain I was alone. The money I had in my purse really was all I had in the world.
And I had no idea how long I could make it last.
CHAPTER 12
MEADOW
I made a short stop back at the motel to charge my phone while I showered and got ready for the day. I was pretty pleased with myself when I noticed the piece of cheesecake I took from the brewery last night still sitting uneaten on the desk. I picked away at it while I got ready, but could feel myself getting hungry for an actual meal. I finished up in the room, grabbed my phone, and headed out to find a restaurant for lunch.
Pismo Beach really was cute with all it’s little independent shops and restaurants. It was your typical beach town and I loved the vibe. Everything moved at a slower pace and the people were all so happy and friendly. Maybe I would take the lad
y’s advice and stay for a few days. It could be nice. I popped in to the front desk and booked my room for a few more nights.
I walked passed a couple restaurants and decided to try the one on the corner. It had teal blue paint and a mural of the beach with surfers painted on one of the side walls.
I walked inside and was greeted by a friendly server. She sat me at a booth and then came back with a menu.
“Coffee?” she said.
“Please.”
She came back with a cup of coffee and looked like she wanted to make conversation.
“You must be from out of town,” she said.
“Am I that obvious?” I said, laughing.
“No, no, just it’s usually locals in here. It’s always fun to get an out-of-towner. I’ll give you a few minutes with the menu.”
It was your standard breakfast menu but with a heavy seafood influence. The salmon bagel, crab Benedict, and shrimp omelette all looked good. They were more appealing since we were right on the ocean. I knew it would be fresh. I closed the menu and waited for her to come back.
“I’ll have the salmon bagel,” I said when she returned.
“My favorite,” she said, smiling.
She was friendly and I really liked the little restaurant. As she walked back to the kitchen to place my order, I reached for my phone to see what kind of messages and emails were waiting for me.
Thirty-seven unread text messages!
Ouch.
Almost all of them were from Matt and I felt uneasy as I looked through them. There were also a few from my best friends wondering where I’d disappeared to. I suspected Matt had reached out to them to see if they knew where I was. He’d always been controlling like that.
I didn’t reply to any of them.
My emails loaded in and I noticed one from a sender I didn’t recognize. The Brotherhood. Who was that? The subject line read, “We took it easy on him.”
Curious, I opened it. It was short and to the point.
Meadow
We thought you’d like to know what happened to your wedding band. Apologies for being so crass but your asshole husband had it coming.
Link.
You deserve better than this guy.
The Brotherhood.
I clicked the link and it opened a website where wives could post pictures of their asshole cheating husbands. I scrolled through pictures of humiliated husbands caught in the act when I recognized Matt. He was sitting on our bed. When I realized it was a video I felt sick to my stomach. I was nervous to click play.
I glanced around the restaurant to make sure no one was watching, then took a deep breath and tapped the video with my finger.
The video was shaky, taken on a phone. The picture quality wasn’t the greatest but it was clear they were in my home in Palo Alto. I recognized the men who’d shown up at my house the night before on motorcycles. They were The Brotherhood.
I’d known the second I saw them they were trouble. They were dressed in biker leathers, all of them muscular and tattooed. Matt was terrified of real men like that. They told me they were there for Matt and that I should let them in. Instinctively I knew they were on my side. They were there to punish Matt. So I stepped aside and let them in.
Matt was sitting on the bed, hysterical, close to tears, and the men were crowded around him.
I had to hit pause. I couldn’t watch. I felt sick. I felt sick knowing that I just let those guys walk into my home, knowing full well they weren’t going to be kind to Matt. I felt awful.
What kind of wife would do that to her husband?
Tears streamed down my face. I covered my mouth to avoid making any noise that would draw attention to me. I slumped down and tried to compose myself.
I could hardly breath and my whole body was shaking. I had to keep watching though. I had to know what happened.
My mind raced and my heart beat faster and faster. I held my phone down below the table, turned the volume low, and hit play.
CHAPTER 13
MEADOW
I quickly hit pause again when I felt someone standing over me. It was the waitress.
She placed my salmon bagel down in front of me and noticed I was crying. She put her hand softly on my shoulder.
“You’re really having a couple of hard days, aren’t you?” she said.
I looked up at her, confused.
“I was at the brewery last night,” she said. “I saw everything that went down. I want to say that you handled yourself with class.”
“I didn’t feel classy at the time,” I said, wiping the tears from my face.
She squeezed my shoulder affectionately. “You handled yourself very well. He was being an asshole and everyone knew it.”
I let out a little sob of relief. It was good to know people didn’t think I’d started that scene.
“Ugh. I’m such a mess. I’m sorry for causing a scene.”
“You’re not causing a scene at all, don’t worry. Is everything okay?”
“You’re right, it has been a hard couple of days, but I’m okay. Thank you so much for looking out for me.”
“Well, let me know if you need anything. Or just move over to the counter if you want someone to talk to. I know we don’t know each other, but I promise I’m a really good listener. My name is Sandra.”
She put her hand out to shake mine.
“I’m Meadow. It’s nice to meet you, Sandra. Thank you for being so kind.”
The kitchen rang the bell and she left to grab an order. As she walked away, I slouched back down and hit play on the video.
I watched with a tight knot in my stomach as the bikers stripped Matt naked. It was weird. Not at all what I’d been expecting to see. At least they weren’t beating him to a bloody pulp, I thought with a slight feeling of relief.
I kept watching and it just got weirder and weirder. Instead of beating him up, they bent him over the bed and took turns spanking his butt! I’m sure it was very traumatic for Matt but I couldn’t help let out a little giggle. They’d promised to give him what he deserved and I felt that’s what they really were doing.
They weren’t being gentle at all and his ass turned bright pink as he squealed for them to stop. I could tell they didn’t intend to hurt him, but they sure did mean to humiliate him. They were there to teach him a lesson.
Given the fear and shame on Matt’s face, it was working. He was in tears, begging them to stop.
The guy holding the camera walked toward Matt. He held his hand in front of Matt’s face and in it was my wedding band.
I became paralyzed with fear and guilt. The second Matt saw it was my ring, the ring he placed on my finger the day we vowed to love and protect each other, he’d know I allowed this to happen.
I wanted to throw up.
The guy spoke to Matt with a stern, cold voice.
“You fucked up your marriage, now let’s show you how it feels to be fucked.”
The bikers were laughing. They handed Matt a bottle of lotion and the ring and it was clear what he was expected to do. I couldn’t believe it!
I almost laughed out loud as I watched Matt shake his head. The men were insistent though, and reluctantly, Matt shoved the wedding ring up his ass.
I couldn’t help it. I bit my lip and covered my mouth. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Talk about poetic justice!
I felt awful for Matt, but there was something so satisfying about it. I didn’t even know who these men were, or how they knew Matt was a cheater, but it felt really, really good to have my honor defended by them.
Finally, someone was standing up for the housewife! Finally, someone was showing the hotshot, cheating husband that he was an asshole, and that his behavior was unacceptable. Finally someone wasn’t afraid to say what they thought of men like him, men who cheated on women who loved them.
For years, I’d kept Matt’s cheating to myself. I told no one, not even my best friends. I protected his guilty secret better than even he did. I was so mo
rtified, so ashamed. I felt certain that his cheating was my fault, that I was somehow inadequate. And for years I didn’t even tell Matt I knew what he was doing.
I just couldn’t face it. I couldn’t bear that it was real.
It took a lot of courage for me to eventually open up. I told a few close friends what I was dealing with. I told them Matt was cheating and that I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and thrown in the gutter.
These were the women I felt closest to in the world, the ones I shared everything with. We lived in the same neighborhood, had similar lifestyles, and had married similar men. Every one of them told me to shut up about it. They told me not to rock the boat. Ignore it. They said I needed Matt, that I couldn’t survive without him, and that I should consider myself lucky to have a man who could give me such a luxurious life.
Boys will be boys, they said. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it.
I felt so helpless.
Sitting there now, watching those men teach Matt a lesson, I didn’t feel helpless anymore. I finally felt vindicated. The video ended with Matt lying naked on the bed, shaking, my wedding ring shoved up his ass. They could have beaten the crap out of Matt easily. They could have killed him. But instead, they videotaped this and sent it to me. They were sticking up for me.
They understood that Matt had destroyed me, destroyed my love, my confidence, my feelings of self worth, and they took action.
I replayed the video and it was difficult to say how I felt. There’d been a time when I loved Matt so much I would have died for him. From the moment I met him, I loved him. The entire time we were together, I tried to be the perfect woman for him. I worked to keep things fresh and exciting. I made sure I always met his needs, in and out of the bedroom. I learned the names of his business associates and made friends with their wives. I kept the house tidy. I cooked and cleaned. I always looked my best. I encouraged him when he was starting his company.
I never so much as looked at another man. I didn’t need to, Matt was my everything.
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