by Susan Meier
“I’ll make the announcement to the department tomorrow afternoon. Your first assignment will be to find your replacement, and once that’s done you’re all mine.”
His phraseology had been the worst possible choice. Molly flushed scarlet with embarrassment, but Jack determinedly pushed down the primitive feelings churning through him from a mere turn of phrase.
They didn’t want to be anything more to each other than co-workers and friends. She didn’t want to be anything more to him than a co-worker or friend. He could see it in the stoic expression on her face.
So he would keep himself in check.
She wouldn’t have to worry about him.
Molly closed her apartment door and then leaned against it with a sigh. If the episode at the mall hadn’t reenforced that Jack didn’t have feelings for her, me offer he’d just made certainly had.
Part of her suspected the new position was a way to placate her because of the growing discomfort between them at the office. But, having worked with Jack for four years, Molly also recognized his sincerity and decided the job itself was real, even if the timing was lousy.
But at least she didn’t have to leave Barrington, and at least she could continue on the road to recovering her reputation by consistently proving to everyone that her infatuation with Jack Cavanaugh was gone for good.
Even if it killed her, she would keep her emotions in check and her heart to herself.
Chapter Twelve
“With your new responsibilities will come lots more traveling,” Jack said as he directed Molly to enter the small, incredibly noisy plane. “And the places we’ll go won’t always have big airports. You’ll be using commuters most of the time.”
Molly climbed the final step and found herself staring at the back of a passenger who was stowing his briefcase in the overhead compartment. The narrow plane had two rows of seats, one on the right and one on the left. There was barely enough aisle for one person. Two people couldn’t squeeze through on a lost bet. She stopped and waited patiently while the man took care of his attaché.
“You’re not going to want to bring any more luggage than you need,” Jack continued from behind. “And you’ll especially want to avoid carry-ons. One briefcase or overnight bag is about all you’ll have room for.”
The passenger in front of Molly finished his task with his briefcase, smiled apologetically at Molly and took his seat.
Molly returned the man’s smile, physically letting him know she understood his dilemma, then proceeded toward the back of the plane. She and Jack had seats in the rear, but they weren’t across the aisle from one another. He’d already warned her they wouldn’t be able to talk anyway. The engines of the plane would be too loud. So it didn’t make any difference if they sat near one another.
But Molly didn’t care. This was the best she’d felt in years. With her new promotion, her mind was more than occupied. Her job duties were diverse and interesting. Suddenly her career was supercharged with possibilities, engaging, challenging duties and the respect that came with authority.
And it wasn’t as if she’d actually given up Jack’s love to get all this. She never had Jack’s love. All she’d given up were a few silly daydreams, Impossible daydreams. Things she didn’t really want anymore.
Molly turned and unhooked the knob that opened her overhead compartment. Jack had been right. There wasn’t much room up there for anything. Shifting uncomfortably, in order to be able to swing her carry-on bag to the right and then up into the compartment, Molly narrowly missed the gentleman who was taking the seat across the aisle from Jack’s. She noticed Jack had crammed himself into the space in front of his seat to allow the other passenger to get settled first, then she put her attention on shoving her bag into the small cubbyhole.
By the time she was done patting and shuffling and generally jamming her tote into the cubicle, she was out of breath. She spun around to take her seat and found herself smack-dab up against Jack.
She pressed her hands against his chest to steady herself and he caught her by the elbows to assure she didn’t fall. Her gaze swung to his face, his fell to hers. If either one of them would have moved even a fraction, their lips would have brushed.
For the next thirty seconds it felt as if time stopped. This was the closest they’d been to each other in over three weeks. And not only were they close, they were touching. But it didn’t feel out of place or awkward. It felt normal. Perfectly, marvelously normal.
A flood of memories washed over her, reminding her of intimacy they’d shared in another life. She could see from the smoky, smoldering look in his eyes that he was remembering, too. Those three days had been wonderful. If she let herself, she could remember exactly what it felt like to believe he loved her. She could remember exactly what it felt like to be held by him. To be protected by him. To be cherished by him...
Gazing into his seductive brown eyes, Molly realized it would be so easy to fall over the line again, to throw caution to the wind and give it one more try....
But she reminded herself that she’d moved on to something better, from something that existed merely in her imagination. While she had amnesia, she’d laid her feelings out on the line, yet Jack still rejected her. She wasn’t going to embarrass herself again.
She took a step backward. “Sorry about that,” she apologized, smiling sheepishly. ‘I guess I underestimated...” She gazed into his eyes and all the air drained out of her lungs. God, he was gorgeous, and so damned sweet and sincere... but he was also off-limits, ”...how much room I’d need to swing around.”
His gaze involuntarily fell to her lips. “Yeah, I guess we both underestimated...” When he brought his gaze back to hers, the look he gave her was filled with confusion. “...how much space we’d need.”
Hurrying to take her seat, Molly reminded herself how it felt to be embarrassed in front of her parents. To be uncomfortable around her friends. To be cautious around every damned person in the department, and at Barrington as a whole, because she didn’t know who knew, who suspected, or who might some day find out that she’d virtually thrown herself at Jack Cavanaugh for three days, but he didn’t want her.
And she told herself that not having a crush on Jack Cavanaugh was the best, the absolute best, thing that had ever happened to her.
Jack, however, wasn’t entirely sure he agreed. Oh, he didn’t want to pursue a relationship. He couldn’t take another ending. Still, he didn’t believe that what he was feeling right now was “the best” thing that had ever happened to him.
But he did know that Molly had a lot of potential and that he’d already done enough damage to her life by thinking he was helping her when he wasn’t....
So, as far as he was concerned, this relationship was staying aboveboard.
Molly passed the time of the bumpy flight by organizing her schedule for the next week. Jack stared out the window, analyzing a new advertising campaign, picking it apart in his brain, even editing copy that hadn’t yet been written... because now, when he wrote it, it would be perfect.
They deplaned companionably, got their rental car and headed for the hotel. Because it was already five-thirty, Jack suggested they take an hour to freshen up and then meet in the hotel restaurant for dinner.
For Molly, the hour was enough time to indulge herself in a soothing bubble bath, redo her hair and makeup, and change into jeans and a sweater. She’d noticed from the guests coming out of the restaurant that dress seemed to be informal and she welcomed the opportunity to lose her high heels and white wool suit.
When she met Jack in the lobby, he had also changed into jeans and a polo shirt. He smiled. “I see you didn’t take long to settle in to the drill.”
“What drill?”
“Most of the people I’ve ever traveled with grew weary of being in a suit all day and they brought a pair of jeans for dinner.”
“From the people I saw coming out of the restaurant, the dress code seemed a little relaxed.”
“
It is. This is a very comfortable hotel, in a very friendly little city, I think you’re going to enjoy it here.”
Molly nodded and Jack directed her to enter the restaurant before him. They were seated, ordered dinner and ate as if they were any two people employed by the same company traveling together.
Things went so well that when Jack suggested they continue their conversation at one of the comfortable seating arrangements in the lounge, Molly agreed.
“I have to admit I was shocked to find out about your parents,” Jack said after their waiter had deposited their drinks and walked away.
“Why?”
“I never would have guessed you came from such a public background.”
“Because I’m a private person?”
There was no way around the truth, so Jack didn’t try to avoid it. “Yes.”
“Actually, I’ve always wanted to be liked, respected and even successful because of things I did. Not because of my parents, or their influence.”
“Can’t fault you for that,” Jack agreed, settling comfortably on the sofa. “My father was a pretty big deal in real estate. He cast a giant shadow, so it wasn’t long after college before I recognized that I’d never really know if I’d succeeded on my own merit or because of my father’s name unless I took a different career path.”
“No kidding?” Molly asked, realizing this was the first piece of personal trivia he’d ever told her—or anyone for all she knew. “You were in real estate?”
“I’d like to think I had the potential to give the Donald Trumps of the world a run for their money.”
Curious, Molly stared at him for a few seconds before she asked, “You regret leaving?”
He shook his head. “No, because I still dabble. I’m in far enough to have some terrific investments and not so far that I’ll lose everything if a decision I make doesn’t pan out.”
“That’s sensible,” Molly agreed thoughtfully, but she was hungry for more. Anything. Finding out that his first love was real estate proved how little she knew about him. “How about brothers and sisters.... Do you have any?”
“Only seven,” Jack said, then he laughed.
“Seven?” She gasped in complete amazement.
“Yeah, but Dr. Tim’s like a brother, too. So in a way I have eight. With spouses and kids, there are nearly thirty of us.”
“My God” was all she could say.
“Christmas is interesting,” he said, laughter in his voice.
“I can’t even imagine it.”
“If you promise not to take this the wrong way,” Jack ventured uncertainly. “I’d love to show you a holiday at my parents’ house.”
“I’d love to see one,” she said, still astonished. “I can’t believe this. Seven brothers and sisters. You must not have ever felt alone.”
But he had. He’d spent the past five years alone, angry and confused. Very confused. To hide his mixed-up emotions and avoid inadvertently hurting anyone, he insulated himself from real conversation, which made him even more alone. Funny, that the first person he chose to open up to was Molly... But, maybe it wasn’t so unusual after all. He knew she was as vulnerable as he was.
“My brothers and sisters are what I call perfect people. We went to college, studied hard, chose careers that could showcase our abilities, and when the time was right we all married well,” he said, baring feelings that he’d buried because they were unfair. “Except my wife died in a car accident, while everyone else went on to the next step. They all started families. When Barbara died, everybody wanted to be there for me, but I didn’t want to impose my misery on them. I was also a little jealous, a little angry and puzzled that I could feel those things for people I loved. So I shut down. I haven’t been a part of my family for the past five years. Oh, I went to picnics and holidays dinners and even anniversary bashes, but I pretty much kept to myself. I didn’t realize what a mistake it had been until...until...well, until just now.”
“So, are you going to call one of them or maybe have a little picnic and try to make it up to everyone?” Molly asked cunningly.
“If I don’t, are you going to shoot me?”
“Nah, maybe haunt you, pester you or drive you crazy, but not shoot you.”
Staring down at his half-finished beer, Jack chuckled. Strange thoughts danced around in his head. For one thing, he wondered if he hadn’t had the sixth sense that Molly would force him to open up, and that’s why he’d inadvertently avoided her for the past four years. For another, he thought it odd that she was the one person in his department he hadn’t done anything for, yet she was the one he felt closest to. For another, he was passionately glad he’d met her, passionately glad she wasn’t angry with him anymore and passionately glad they could be friends.
“I think a picnic is a good idea,” he said, then picked up his beer. “I can’t come right out and announce that I’m starting to feel like myself, so I’m having a get-together to catch up with everything that’s happened in the past five years. But I suppose actions speak louder than words anyway.”
“Exactly,” Molly agreed enthusiastically, but she yawned. “I guess traveling’s going to be a littler harder to get accustomed to than I thought.”
“It always is,” Jack said, rising. He tossed a few bills on the table. “Come on. I’ll walk you to your room.”
She knew the gesture was strictly a courtesy from a man who felt uncomfortable letting a woman walk alone in a hotel, and didn’t think anything more of it than that. In fact, now that she knew he’d been grieving for five years, she understood why it was so easy for him to be friends and why he didn’t think of anyone in anything other than platonic terms.
A strange peace settled over her. A comfort of sorts. They could be friends, really close, really good friends, because they understood each other...particularly since neither one of them had been able to open up to anyone else before this.
She slipped her arm through his as they walked across the hotel lobby to the elevators. “This has been nice. Very nice.”
He agreed. He also understood that her sliding her arm through his was a gesture of confidence, of trust. Peace rippled through him. Not only was he finally beginning to feel like he’d reentered the land of the living, but he was abundantly glad that, after everything he and Molly had been through, they could be friends.
They repeated the pattern the following day. From nine to five, they conducted business. Then they returned to the hotel, changed clothes, ate dinner and talked.
The next week, when they took a another trip to the Midwest, they followed the same routine. After three extended after-dinner conversations and six punishing layovers waiting for commuters, there wasn’t a question Jack felt uncomfortable asking.
“So, no serious boyfriends? At all? Ever?”
“One. Junior year of college,” Molly answered, chagrin obvious in her tone of voice. “Same story as about fifty thousand other women. I fell in love. He didn’t.”
“Junior year of college you’re still fairly young,” Jack said companionably, and sipped his beer.
“Yeah, but this guy dumped me, found out that my parents weren’t merely wealthy but they were celebrities of sorts, and tried to get me back.”
“And you told him where to go,” Jack guessed, grinning.
Molly sighed, then grimaced. “No. I liked him so much I didn’t care that I knew he wanted me back because of my parents.”
“Ouch.”
“It wasn’t ouch time until I caught him in bed with a perky little freshman.”
“Then you told him where to go.”
“Yeah, but not until after I made a complete fool of myself.”
“Molly, Molly, Molly,” Jack said, shaking his head. “Everybody makes a complete fool of himself at least once in his life.”
She shrugged. “I suppose.”
“And now you’re on the path to redemption. Things are going so well that two years from now you’ll be the boss. I’ll probably be answering t
o you.”
“Yeah, right.”
“No. I mean that. You’re very good. You’re intuitive about this work, and that’s not just a plus. it’s essential. You have a knack, a gift. I’m very proud of you.”
“Thanks,” Molly said, proud of herself, too. She didn’t know about someday being Jack’s boss but she did agree that she was intuitive. In fact, she couldn’t help but wonder if she wasn’t drawn to Jack because she knew he could bring out the best in her. She might not marry him. They’d probably never have kids. But they truly were destined to be friends, and they truly did bring out the best in one another.
As had become their custom, Jack walked her to her room that night. She’d looped her arm through his as she always did, and they walked slowly, talking as they strolled down the hall to her doorway.
She used her key to open the door, then, smiling up at him, she thanked him for dinner.
But then the strangest thing happened. He bent slightly, brushed his lips against hers, turned and walked down the hall to the elevator.
Molly slipped into her room, closed the door and leaned against it. Her heart pounded, and without any thought at all she could feel the jolt of heat that sizzled through her from a mere sweep of his lips across hers.
What was that?
For a good two minutes, she rested against her door, confused and not afraid to admit it. Because the kiss was fast and simple and nearly passionless—except for the jolt of electricity she got-Molly decided it was a kiss between friends.
Later, she knew it was a kiss between friends because he repeated it the next trip. He brushed his lips across hers gently, quickly, and then he walked away.
And it was in that second that she knew they hadn’t simply become friends. They were best friends.
Because you couldn’t kiss just anybody and expect them not to get the wrong idea. But Molly certainly didn’t have the wrong idea. She knew he’d been pining for his wife for five years. She knew he’d pined so hard and so long he’d nearly alienated himself from his family. She knew he needed a friend more than he needed a lover. So, when he kissed her, he’d kissed a friends. That’s why the kisses were so brief and so gentle.
