Maybe there was a chance he would stay with her and Jackson.
Ajax made his bed on the couch and sat there by the light of one dim lamp, Emory’s good night kiss tingling on his cheek. After all the kissing they’d done, even earlier tonight, this was the one that felt the most intimate.
He had less than eight hours to figure this shit out. What he was going to tell the other soldiers, how much to tell her. How he was going to protect Emory and her son. Their son.
He dragged a hand down his face. What the hell, he had a son. With Emory.
And the worst fucking part was that now that the deed was done, the mistake made and the consequences born…he just wanted more of Emory naked in his arms.
He adjusted his jeans, trying to ease the discomfort of the raging hard-on being around her had given him, even with all the additional crap surrounding them.
All of these things spinning around in his mind, and yet he still kept coming back to the one night that started it all. He closed his eyes, and visions of her naked and flushed flashed through his mind. Which time had gotten her pregnant? Against the wall? Her on top? Him?
And it didn’t fucking matter, did it? He’d kept her up all night, so there had been plenty of chances.
He groaned, the memories nipping at him with sharp, sweet teeth. The lip-bite as he entered her the first time. Her passionate cries as he took her again and again. The way all that creamy skin had gone rosy, her lips swollen as she’d pulled him closer for more.
Get a grip, asshole.
He swallowed hard, more memories and emotions filling in the blanks in a rush.
Their night together had shown him that something was missing in this life of his. He still didn’t know what it was, but it was clear there was something lacking. He’d had that realization shortly after Emory had walked out of their hotel room. Maybe he’d been subconsciously searching for that thing all this time, with all those other women. But he’d been completely unprepared for the glimpse he got of it with her, for the way it had flattened and ruined him.
He’d realized something was different with her that very first night, when she had been lying naked on top of him, her cheek over his heart. Gentle brushes of her fingertips had traveled over his glyphs, making his heart pound in a way that had nothing to do with sex. She’d outlined them, stroked them. Caressed him into a kind of trance where time stopped and it was just the two of them and possibilities. And then she’d sighed, the force of it kind of… deflating her.
“You sleepy?” he murmured.
It was a long moment before she nodded.
He reached up and stroked a hand over her messy hair, his own chest feeling like it was caving in. Because he knew that wasn’t it. There was something here, something he felt too…and it didn’t matter. She was human.
“You can go to sleep.”
“I kind of don’t want to.”
He smiled at the ceiling though his chest felt heavy. “We still have the morning.”
He fell asleep shortly after her, and woke up with the first glow of sunrise coming through the windows, a pale reminder of their ticking clock.
They were both on their sides, her back to his front; a breast in his hand and her sweet ass cupping his morning wood.
He’d awakened her that way, gently, slowly. Tried to draw out each touch and kiss as long as possible, but when she’d reached back and put him inside her hot, tight sheath…it had ended way too quickly after that.
His next memory was of her standing at the door of the room. He’d slipped on his jeans to see her off, but they were both delaying it, neither of them saying the words that would bring their one night to an end. She stood there shuffling her feet, flicking glances at him. The shyness was back.
He had the urge to say those three little words that he’d never said before. Stay with me. But he pressed his lips shut, because it was impossible. He was an Elemental Warrior, and he had a shift to fight Chaos in just a few hours. She was simply, naively human.
“I could give you my phone number—” she started, and then stared at the carpet. She knew what he’d say, but he had to say it anyway.
“I can’t call you, Emory.” If he called her, he’d want to see her. And he couldn’t see her, ever again. He was not part of her world, and she couldn’t be part of his. “Only one night, remember?”
She nodded without looking at him, and his heart twisted in his chest. He lifted her chin and looked into her subdued green eyes.
It was funny. This kind of thing was exactly what he’d been avoiding with the women he chose. Awkward, uncomfortable morning-afters and prolonged goodbyes. Complications. A desire for more than he could give.
And it was him feeling all of that, this time.
He brought his lips against hers with the slightest pressure and, closing his eyes, held them there. A kiss in lieu of words.
She’d understood, and kissed him gently back. When they pulled apart, she squeezed his hand and turned away, walking out the door without another glance.
He shut it softly behind her and closed his eyes again, resting his forehead on the cool wood.
And then he exhaled, as long and slowly as he could, until he was hungry for a breath, aching to inhale. The burn in his chest from lack of oxygen echoed the one from her walking out the door.
He finally allowed himself to inhale. And again. Both pains eased slightly. Each breath brought him closer to equilibrium and finally he got dressed and left.
As soon as he’d walked into base, Levi sauntered out of the elevator already dressed and awake. Either his shift was ending, or had just begun. Either way, damn. He’d wanted to be alone with his memories of Emory and get some rest before he had to be ready for his own shift later on.
“So, how’d it go, player? You hadn’t even gotten to first base before I left.”
Ajax had stopped a little past Levi, turned his head toward him.
“She—” He didn’t know what he’d started to say, but he’d swallowed it down. Instead he’d dug in his coat pocket, opened his wallet, and held up a twenty-dollar bill scissored between two fingers.
Levi had snatched it up with a grin. “Better luck next time.”
Ajax had gone up to his room and laid there, steeping in the memory of the night as he fell asleep. She was a human. There could be no next time.
And he’d held to that until tonight. He never did seek Emory out again, didn’t seek out that connection, because he was an Elemental and she was a human. It wasn’t allowed.
But he’d been ruined for anything else ever since that night, no desire at all to go back to the women at the bar. He’d tried. Oh, he’d tried. He’d gotten close with a woman in a red tube-top that didn’t want to take no for an answer, but he’d just ended up feeling embarrassed for her instead of attracted, and paid for her cab home. Each trip back to the bar, he’d found himself consistently more interested in the alcohol and the memories of his night with Emory more than any woman who might have caught his eye before. Instead, he’d drink a few drinks, leave early, and finish his nights jerking it to thoughts of Emory like a damned teenage human boy. Even then, he hadn’t realized quite how fucked he was yet. It wasn’t until months had passed, and he still couldn’t go back to his old ways, still couldn’t stop thinking about her, that it was clear.
And then Levi got lucky, and that burned. His woman turned out to be an Erratic. It was okay for Brooke to know about them, to be around them. To be with one of them. And after all these months he could finally see that as the root of his jealousy.
Emory was human, through and through. So he couldn’t do anything about that connection he’d felt with her from the beginning, except take her invitation to her hotel room and milk their one night for all that it was worth.
And now… holy hell, Emory was back in his life. And knew his secret, knew of his world, and was now even a part of it through Jackson.
But he still couldn’t fucking pursue whatever was still between them, and that made it hard t
o draw breath. She was the mother of an Erratic, but one that shouldn’t exist. One that broke the laws of Ajax’s world. One that, should the Premiers find out of his existence, would result in Ajax losing her and the only other thing he had, the only thing he was. He was created a Warrior, bred to fight Chaos. Trained to fight the Chaolt, to fight Chaos. Without that, there was nothing. Just a void of darkness.
If the Premiers found out Ajax had a child, he’d be taken from this world, back to Elementium in shame, his warrior status stripped from him. And then he would be exiled to the Dark, a place where he would not only be blind and alone, but also completely without powers. And conscious of it the entirety of his sentence.
Not only that, but maybe the Premiers would send another Air Elemental to drain Jackson, one who wouldn’t care so much what effect it would have on his little body and mind, who would only care about his potential role in the war, his potential to further upset the balance of Chaos.
Therefore, he couldn’t tell Walker, couldn’t ask questions he needed answers to. Couldn’t risk that Walker would tell the Premiers. He had to figure all this shit out on his own. Erratics these days got their powers from way back in their bloodline. Back when Elementals freely visited the Earth. Before the law, before Chaos grew stronger. The Originals were the first Erratics formed, those first children created from the mating of an Elemental and a human. The ones responsible for the ban of any Elemental mating with a human again, ever.
They’d almost destroyed this world when the Chaolt got to them. Widespread volcanic events, toxic atmosphere, the ice age. The flood. That huge fucking asteroid.
That’s why Warriors, sterile and unable to breed, were the only Elementals allowed to come this plane now. He couldn’t ask about draining a baby, even without admitting it was his, because they’d only drained adults so far. A baby would rightly cause an investigation into the cause, leading right to him.
“Fuck!” he snapped into the silence.
Damn it, if he’d even known there was a chance this would happen… What the fuck? Why, of all the soldiers, was he the one not sterile? He wanted to ask Walker how this could have happened, but there was no way to do that without revealing himself. And even worse, what if he wasn’t the only one? He couldn’t even warn them without giving himself up.
He gave a humorless laugh. Now instead of trying to keep his secret about what he was from humanity, he would have to keep secrets from his fellow Elementals instead.
Ajax paced, thinking. The Chaolt must know about Jackson. They had been in the hills behind Emory’s house, like they were hunting for the source of Erratic power. Jackson had awoken, upset and out of control. The pieces fit.
The question was, what the fuck was he going to do about it?
CHAPTER SIX
Early the next morning when Emory woke up with Jackson, Ajax was already putting on his boots and getting ready to leave. She put Jackson in his swing and turned it on.
“You're leaving?” She wrapped her arms around her waist, heart pounding. Had he changed his mind about helping them?
“Yes,” he said, shrugging on his leather jacket.
“Are you coming back?” All these months her only goal had been to find Ajax. He would fix everything, he would know how to help Jackson, how to conceal him. She thought that once she found him, he'd stay around and…do whatever it was he could do for Jackson.
“I am coming back.” His eyes flashed up to hers. "I will be back soon, but I have some other responsibilities that I have to take care of first.”
He stood and came close enough that she was enveloped in his scent. The scent of fresh air with some kind of spicy undertone. And just as if she'd walked into a meadow, she took a deep breath, sucking his scent into her lungs.
“Do you know how to use a gun?”
“What?” His question jerked her attention to his face.
“I need to know if you can use a gun. Can you?” His expression wasn’t impatient, but it was clear he was serious.
“I… I don’t know.”
He pulled a handgun out of a holster under his coat. Grabbing her hand, he set the gun in it and closed her fingers around it. It was heavier than it looked, colder.
“I don’t want this,” she said, shaking her head. “You said you were going to stay here with us.”
“I’m going to. But I have to go report to my commander at the moment. I won’t be gone long.” He put a warm hand to her cheek and brought her eyes to his. “You said you were worried about who might come for Jackson. You won’t need this Emory, it’s just in case, just to make you feel better until I get back. Okay?”
With a tight swallow, she nodded. He showed her how to hold it properly.
“This is the safety,” he said, showing her. “Up for on, down for off. It’s loaded, and one in the chamber. You just have to turn off the safety, point, and shoot. Got it?”
Her eyes felt too wide, her breaths too fast, but she nodded.
“Aim for this part of the face,” he said, pointing to the line between his lips and nose. “The philtrum. Even if you’re aim is off a bit, the shot will most likely still be fatal. The torso is a bigger target, easier to hit, but with a gun of this caliber, it would only slow them down, not stop them.”
She swallowed and looked down blindly at the gun in her hand. Was this the kind of life her child was doomed to?
“Okay,” she whispered, his eyes pulling her in despite the cold metal weight in the hand by her side.
“I’ll be back soon. Really soon. And you’ll be fine until then.” His confidence made her feel a bit stronger. She took another breath.
“What do I do with this in the meantime?” she asked, motioning with the gun. She couldn’t just stand around with it, sweep the floor with it in one hand. Feed her baby while holding it. In fact, even though he was way too young for it to be an issue, she felt a cold discomfort having the weapon in the house at all. Unless it was on Ajax, which was somehow totally fine.
God, things were weird right now.
“Put it somewhere you can reach it quickly if you need to.” He looked around, gaze landing on the table by the door. He motioned for it and she handed it over, her hand feeling almost too light when she transferred the weight to him. She rubbed her palm on her jeans.
Laying it between her purse and a houseplant, he said, “Lock the door as I leave. Don’t open the door for anyone but me. And Emory… Safety. Aim. Shoot,” he said, going through the motions again as he backed out the door. His eyes were dark, but his tone was confident and reassuring. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
A strange urge to wave at Ajax came over her as he pulled out of the driveway. He waved back, and she turned back into the house with a smile.
She pulled up a chair by Jackson and gave him a few toys to gum. It was incredible, how her life had changed in one night. Again. She should be working, but that just wasn't happening. With her evening open for the first time in months, the urgency was gone. Normally, she would be working as fast as she could at menial internet tasks to try and support them, to make her savings last longer. She'd taken on everything she could find, even if the pay sucked, when it became clear that she wouldn't be able to go back to work at the hospital.
Normally she would also be calling down her lists of baby sitters for tonight, scheduling it carefully to make sure Jackson would be sound asleep so she could go to the bar without worrying about him having a freak-out. And to find out after they’d talked about it, that her and Ajax had been missing each other by a matter of hours each night.
She had to laugh at that. It sounded bad, leaving her son in the care of strangers so she could go to a bar to wait for Ajax. Every. Single. Night. For months. But that had been her reality before Ajax had walked back through that door.
And now he had, and everything was just up in the air. The last few months had been a juggling act with only one goal in mind; find Ajax, find out what she could do for Jackson. Okay, goal accomplished sort o
f, now what?
She picked up the plastic toy Jackson kept throwing down from his swing and wiped it. He didn't have it three seconds before he threw it again, with a toothless, drooling grin. She couldn't help smiling even as she sighed and picked it up. But this time she held on to it, and he turned to a different toy, trying to fit it in his mouth along with his whole fist. She laughed, and then took a deep breath.
So this would be her new normal, more time to spend with Jackson. No more bar in the evenings.
That was a-ok with her. As long as he was safe.
And bonus, she was going to get to spend a lot of time with Ajax too. But could she keep her head around him?
Ajax returned Emory’s short wave and reversed out her driveway, gunning it towards the base.
What could he do about Jackson? There was only one way he knew to handle Erratics; drain their powers before the Chaolt could get to them, make them self-destruct. Usually with as many casualties as possible. But Jackson was a baby, immature. He was small and fragile. How would the draining process even affect him? What if it killed him?
It was just too risky to attempt it yet. He’d have to find out if it could be done safely first, or find another way. Either way, he needed time. He needed a plan. Somehow, he’d have to make sure Emory and Jackson were safe when he couldn’t be here. Or just be here all the time. Could he tell Walker enough to let him patrol out here, without rousing suspicion? It was a shitty plan, but it was the only one he could come up with right now.
During the debriefing, he’d have to tell Walker that he’d sensed Chaolt here in the foothills by her house, while leaving out the details about why he was there. Walker would send him back to patrol the area, and he could stay with Emory without neglecting any of his duties. Or exposing his secret.
When Ajax strode into base, in a hurry to get upstairs to the briefing, Levi was bent over the pool table, Brooke sitting nearby waiting for her turn.
“Look who the cat dragged in. Have a good night?” His voice was heavy on innuendo and it made Ajax’s shoulders tight.
Rise (Elemental Hearts Book 2) Page 5
