How was she ever going to resist him, the only man she’d ever found irresistible? He was here, and he was kissing her, and she couldn’t keep convincing herself to stop. She wanted him too much. And for some reason, this extraordinary man wanted her the same.
He picked her up and sat her on the counter, pressing her legs open with his hips, his mouth never leaving hers. But now his hands were free to wander, and they moved over her fiercely, the press of his hands anything but soft.
And she loved it, loved how desperate he seemed to touch her, to kiss her, to get closer. She’d never felt wanted before him. But Ajax wanted her, with a passion that was impossible to ignore, impossible to resist. And she didn’t want to. She went limp with her arms around his neck, letting his grip in her hair tilt her head whichever direction he wanted. He tugged it back and trailed hot kisses down her neck, down the loose V of her shirt. His other hand lifted her breast to his mouth and he scraped his teeth across her peak. It sent electricity down between her legs, where his hot, hard arousal was pressed.
She was lost in him, until Jackson's angry cry brought her out of her daze as quickly as a blast of cold air.
Emory pulled back from Ajax with a gasp, her fingers over her lips. It had happened again. Ajax was so, so dangerous.
She slipped off the counter, and went to Jackson, kneeling to retrieve his bottle from the floor. It was a minor thing that caused him to cry, but she'd been so wrapped up in Ajax again that it could have been choking or something else major, and she wouldn't have known until he made a sound. Thank goodness he had.
Because if he hadn't started fussing, would she have surfaced before Ajax had her naked on the kitchen table? Her face flooded with heat. She didn't really think she could do that, but—
He could make her forget who she was, her responsibilities. Make her forget that she was supposed to focus on Jackson. Everything, with just his touch.
Alien mojo.
She didn't realize she'd whispered the words until he responded.
Chuckling, he said, “I'm not an alien, Emory, I'm an Elemental.” His eyes flashed to hers, heated to teal flames. “And whatever mojo you feel is just between you and me.”
“Yeah, sure. I'm not naive enough to believe I'm the first human woman who's fallen for it.” And probably not the last, either.
His smile slipped a notch, and she knew she was right.
“Whether you believe it or not, there’s not been a single other woman that’s held my interest since you.”
Right. Jealousy blew through her like a foul wind, and she tried to tamp it down.
It didn't work.
She'd known the kind of guy he was the moment he'd walked up to her table and taken her date's place, and had fallen for him anyway. Or at least she'd thought she knew, but he was so much more.
Crap.
Ajax had a way of changing everything she thought she couldn't do, couldn't be. He was dangerous. She'd been praying for so long that he would walk back into her life, but now that he was here, she had no idea how she was going to handle it. She needed help with her son, needed protection for him, but the way Ajax affected her… It was insane. Distracting.
When it was just her and Ajax, she had no problem throwing her cares aside and being selfish, especially for just one night. But with Jackson in the picture now, she couldn’t just let go and damn the consequences. Her son had to come first.
Better to stop things between her and Ajax right now, before they got out of hand.
The thick pressure in her throat said it was a good thing she had realized all this now, instead of much later.
“Ajax,” She stood up and rubbed her hands together, bracing her heart for what she was about to do. The hint of a smile slipped from his lips.
She wanted him, badly. But despite her chemistry with Ajax, this was not who she was. Why did being near him make her act so differently?
He could make her crazy, steal the attention she was supposed to be focusing on her son, and put it on him. He could make her the one thing she didn’t want to be, which was like her parents. Too focused on her own life and own pleasures to pay attention to her child.
No.
She wouldn’t do that, couldn’t be that. No more kisses. No more useless thoughts about “what if”. She had to keep her head on, keep her focus on Jackson. She was going to be the best mother possible to him. That was the only thing that mattered. Which meant staying out of Ajax’s arms.
“I think it would be best if we just focus on Jackson from now on.”
Emory felt the tiniest bit of satisfaction at his surprise that she was resisting him, but not too much. Because dammit, she didn’t want to. In a perfect world, she could have some kind of relationship with Ajax, and still be the best mother possible. Maybe Ajax would even be a good father. Maybe they’d be a family.
But this was not a perfect world.
“I enjoyed our night together, and I was—am—very happy to see you again. But I think sex would just complicate things at this point. I just need—” No, she had to be more firm. If he tested her resolve again, she would surely crumble. “I only want your help with Jackson from here on out. Nothing more.”
I think it would be best if we just focus on Jackson from now on.
Emory’s words sent a ripple across Ajax’s skin.
All he knew was she was saying something he didn’t like, and that was putting it mildly. He took two long steps back into her personal space, his nose almost bumping hers.
“Five minutes ago, I could’ve taken you on the counter.”
Her face blanched and then reddened. “You’re probably right about that.”
Ajax had a moment’s pause at her admission.
“But that’s the problem, and that just tells me I’m right. Jackson deserves all of me. I can’t afford to be distracted right now, with him so young, with so many dangers surrounding him. I want to give him as normal of a life as possible, and I don’t even know if I can, but I have to try.”
He wanted to argue, but what could he say? Any argument he had against her focusing on her son-their son—would make him sound like a dick. Would make him a dick. He could probably get her back into bed, but there would be consequences.
Emory’s chin went up, her jaw hardening.
He smiled. He knew her reaction to him. Maybe those consequences would be worth it?
One more look at Emory, and he knew they wouldn’t be. She’d think less of him, and he didn’t want that. He felt something for Emory before, and he felt something for her now. He just had no idea how to pursue it other than to try to get her back in bed. He had no experience with ‘feelings’, only lust. And the harder he pushed to get her into bed, the more she pulled away.
Maybe, even if it made him want to stab something, he would try things her way, let her come to him. That was kind of how their first night went down, anyway. Just when he’d given up on the possibility of her leaving with him, she’d been the one to ask. So that was his plan for now.
But they were due another night.
And she was right, he was here to protect her and Jackson and try to figure this situation out.
Ajax tilted his head in concession, putting his lips by her ear.
“I won’t deny that I want you any way and any time I can have you. On the table, on the counter, the floor, I don’t care.”
Emory closed her eyes at his hot words. Her reaction made him feel more confident in his decision.
“But I’ve waited a fucking year, I can wait a little while longer. You want to keep sex out of everything for now and just focus on Jackson? Fine. Because when our time comes, I want you to be able to focus on all the things I’m going to make you feel.”
She just nodded as he strode away.
Ajax went outside to his truck to check over his weapons, giving Emory some space when all he wanted was to have no space between them.
The way he still craved her touch pissed him off. It grated that Emory shut him dow
n.
I think we just need to focus on Jackson for now.
But all he could seem to focus on was her.
What the hell was he supposed to do every day, in between his reports to Walker?
He was not…domestic. He was a Warrior, a fighter. He was a hard-ass and liked it that way. He could be a protector and a lover, but anything else was beyond him. He was the wind, he was free. Nothing could hold the wind.
She’s had a hold on you from the start, asshole.
Yes, and it was a contradiction he was uncomfortable with. He’d once slept with a new woman several nights a week. Then he’d met Emory, and hadn’t even been able to look at another woman except with superficial appreciation. Then she came back into his life, kissed him until he wanted to inhale her, and pulled back right when things were getting interesting.
He wanted Emory, but he also wanted to be free to go back to his life. He wanted to get her out of his system and go back to being a Warrior. Hell, go back to women at the bar if he wanted to. But she was stuck under his skin, and no one else would do.
No matter what, there was no going back.
Even if Jackson was finally drained of his powers and safe, could he just walk away? Leave Emory to keep raising his child on her own, never see either of them again? That didn’t feel right, causing his gut to clench.
Ajax tested the sharpness of his knife with his thumb, watching red blood spill into the cut that said no, he didn’t need to sharpen them again yet. Moments later he wiped the blood off on his black cargos, most of the evidence of the cut already gone, already healed.
Did his child have accelerated healing? Most modern Erratics didn’t, but there hadn’t been any as strong, as new, as Jackson in a long time. Maybe his Elemental blood would give him that advantage. He was so fragile; if he got any other Elemental trait from him, hopefully it was that one.
Jackson didn’t seem to have a reduced need for sleep though, that was for sure. Maybe that was a pure Elemental thing. Or maybe just an adult thing.
No way to know, and once again, no one to fucking ask.
Ajax checked over his rarely-used handgun, but it was clean too. Guns drew too much attention to their fights with the Chaolt and could cause collateral damage if they weren’t careful, so they all preferred blades. Which meant this gun had seen about as much action as he had in the last year.
Ajax tossed the gun back in the pack, mouth twisting. He’d really thought things were looking more promising for him in that department. Until now.
Fuck.
Ajax leaned over with his fists pressed against the seat.
Emory just had no idea how stuck he was on her. He could’ve gone back to other women any time in the last year. But he didn’t want any other woman, he wanted her. Just her.
And she wanted him. He could see it, taste it. Something was just holding her back.
Damn it, things were complicated.
The only thing he could do was to do what he said: focus on Jackson and lay off trying to get Emory in bed.
But that didn’t mean he had to like it.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Several days passed with Ajax coming and going occasionally back to his base, to make reports to his commander or get more clothes. His toiletries now had counter space in the bathroom between her face wash and Jackson’s baby shampoo. She would never admit it out loud, but seeing his stuff in between theirs gave her a tiny thrill. But the man had way too many hair products.
Right now, he was pacing from window to window. He was obviously not used to this amount of inactivity, and he’d been here for several days, watching her intently in between all his pacing around.
“Is there anything I can do? To help out or…something?” Ajax asked, frustration in his voice.
Emory turned to face him. “Um.” She fiddled with the neck of her robe. She’d been about to take Jackson into the bathroom with her in his bouncy seat so she could shower. Should she take him up on his offer? She’d never been able to take full advantage of babysitters before because of Jackson’s powers, but that wasn’t a concern with Ajax. He was the absolute best person to help if Jackson lost control. And…he was Jackson’s father.
The thought of getting the time for a whole shower, alone, was too tempting.
“He seems pretty content right now. Would you mind watching him while I shower? I usually have to buckle him into his seat, and sometimes he gets mad. And then you know, shower over.”
Usually abruptly, with soap in her eyes and whatever wasn’t bolted down flying around the bathroom. That was half the reason she had that new mommy ripeness about her. Showers had been a lot rarer these last few months.
Ajax turned to look at Jackson in the playpen, chubby arms batting at his hanging toys. “Sure.”
She bit her lip, hesitant. She liked Ajax, a lot, but he didn’t really have any experience with babies. But he was good at everything else he did. Jackson was happy, fed and changed. She could trust him with Jackson for twenty minutes.
God, a good, hot shower all by herself… She almost laughed at how unsure she felt now that she was finally getting the chance after all these months.
Ajax saw her hesitation. “Relax. We’ll both be right here when you get back.” He leaned back on the couch and kicked one leg out, the picture of relaxed male confidence. Jackson made a happy little squeal in his playpen, batting at toys.
“You’ll come get me if you need anything, any help?”
Ajax nodded. “Enjoy your shower,” he said with a confident smile.
She took a calming breath and smiled back. “I will. Thank you.”
He’ll do fine. Everything will be fine.
But the mommy voice inside still told her to hurry.
Jackson was a small, weak human with limited mobility. Despite Ajax’s initial nervousness, he was sure he could watch Jackson while Emory showered.
He heard the water kick on and the shower door closing right before the smell hit him. Sniffing the air, he walked to the window and looked outside. Checked the lock on the door. It didn’t smell like Chaolt. It smelled like…
Oh, no. Nope. Not Chaolt. Something way more sinister.
A grunt from the playpen confirmed it, but then Jackson started making his little fussy cries.
Maybe he could just distract him until Emory was done?
He peeked over the edge at Jackson, who was frowning and kicking his legs. Kneeling down, he wiggled the little hanging toys, trying to entice him to play again. It worked, but only for about thirty seconds, and then he was back to kicking, red-faced, with sporadic angry cries.
Shit.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Look at this.” He rattled the little plastic chain again, but Jackson was having none of it, his legs pumping harder, his face redder. His cries, angrier.
Five minutes later he was outside the bathroom door, debating whether or not to knock. Jackson was pissed, and he didn’t know what the hell to do. He could calm Jackson’s powers, but he had no idea what to do with rageful tears.
“Emory?”
She of course didn’t hear him, and he didn’t want to disturb her anyway. When Jackson started to ramp up again, he reconsidered knocking. But damn it, he’d offered to help.
When the newspaper took off from the table, the houseplant leaves started waving, the wind increasing with the volume of his cries… He knew he was going to have to do something.
He couldn’t let Emory come out of her shower to the house being destroyed. His pride just wouldn’t let that happen.
He’d seen Emory change several of his diapers. He could do this. With a hard swallow, he bent over and picked Jackson up. Gingerly, he held the baby in his arms, looking at the angry, tearful face.
“Shhhhhhhh,” he whispered, lightly bouncing him like he’d seen her do, stroking a hand across the silky, light red hair.
Jackson calmed to a whimper, and opened his eyes, the slightest glow in them. Jackson seemed to be waiting on him for something, his botto
m lip wavering as they stared at each other, but he had no idea what.
And then he kicked his legs and cried out again, face scrunched in anger.
Oh yeah.
Diaper, right. Okay.
He jiggled Jackson with one hand while he got the diapers and wipes from the table. He grabbed a thin blanket and spread it on the floor like he’d seen Emory do once.
Jackson calmed almost immediately, seeming to know that he was getting exactly what he wanted. Ajax pulled off his pants and popped the snaps—and gagged. Wow. Burning plastic didn’t seem so bad now.
“Jesus, Jackson, I would be mad if I smelled like that too!” Jackson might have smiled at his reaction, but Ajax wasn’t sure.
Most of the time he used his powers without really thinking about it but right now, as Ajax blew the stench away, he was super grateful to have them.
But then he opened the diaper, and was just mad.
“Oh, come on.” No power he had would help with this mess.
They didn’t have babies in his world. The young of his kind appeared, fully formed, birthed in the nebula and brought to them by the Premiers. It seemed a much better system than the human one. But dammit, he was one of the Warrior Elite. He could do this.
With a grimace, he grabbed the chubby, kicking legs and a wad of wipes and did his best. Now, where to put it? He eyed the trashcan, way on the other side of the room. No way to blow the wipes over there without messing up the whole house.
He let go of the legs and grabbed an extra wipe, setting the mess on top of it until he could dispose of it.
Then he wiped him some more, repeated until his butt was clean and shiny. And red.
He’d waited too long. No wonder Jackson had been crying, sitting in that caustic shit.
“Sorry, buddy.”
Jackson seemed better now though, so he grabbed a diaper and tried to put it on. It seemed like it would be simple, but he’d pulled the sticky tabs clean off two of them before he got it on. They went into the pile.
Rise (Elemental Hearts Book 2) Page 8
