by Dani René
He continues sliding in and out, fucking my mouth. Taking his pleasure. Throughout it all, I realize I’m wet, needy, and wanting him more than I could ever have imagined.
Walking into my two-bedroom apartment, I glance around and realize I’m alone tonight. Sighing, I stalk to the kitchen and pour a drink. The double whiskey sparkles at me in the dim light. After meeting Theia, I couldn’t come straight home. Instead, I headed to the bar on the corner to drown my memories. The images of Sam that haunt me. But nothing can take them away. No amount of alcohol, not even work can take my mind off him. Every time a song plays, or I come across a familiar scent, I’m bombarded with recollections I’d much rather forget.
I swallow a gulp of the alcohol, and it burns its way down. I savor the pain. My phone rings at that moment. Thinking it’s Theia, I slide my finger over the screen without looking. “Hello?”
Silence meets me on the other end and I wait, thinking it’s a missed connection. When a beat passes, I hear it. The soft, melodic sound of his breathing. I know it’s him. There isn’t anyone else who can make the hairs on my arm prickle like he does.
“Sam?” As soon as I utter his name the line goes dead. I pull the phone from my ear and notice the call has been disconnected. It had to be him. I’m sure of it. But I’ve had a few drinks, maybe I’m drunk. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me because I want with everything I am for it to be him. For it to be Samael Wolfe on the other end.
Perhaps I’m imagining a life where he loved me too.
But I know it can never be. I just wasn’t what he wanted, who he needed. Perhaps one of those many women he fucked while he wasn’t with me is beside him in bed right now. The thought has me draining the glass and pouring another steep shot.
As much as I’d like to be with Theia and Dax, or even Sky and Dakota, I know it’s best that I stay home. Thankfully, Axe isn’t home. I’d rather be alone. To wallow in my self-pity without anyone telling me I’ll be okay. Because, to be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever be okay. My heart is shattered, splintered into the tiniest fragments of us. Of who we were.
I reach for the remote and turn on our song.
“Dance with The Devil” by Breaking Benjamin.
He was my devil, and as many times as I was denied telling him how I really felt, even on our last night together—the night he danced with me—I couldn’t tell him. Not because he stopped me, but because I didn’t know it was our goodbye.
I had my own dark angel and he was everything I’ve ever wanted and will ever want. The memories have me refilling my glass just as quickly as I drain it of the golden liquid which allows me temporary solace. I glance at the folder that holds information about my parents, but tonight, that’s the last thing I want to know about.
I don’t want to learn about how they didn’t love me enough to look for me. I’m alone and I’ll savor it until Axel gets home and drags me from my depression and tries to make me smile. Or tries to make me happy.
Slamming the receiver on the desk, I growl in frustration at this fucked up situation. Her voice hasn’t changed and the sadness that’s laced in her tone is more than I can handle. It’s been months, but my love for her hasn’t diminished.
I haven’t touched another woman, not even the girls I’m training. Yes, I hurt them, whip them, mar their pretty flesh, but that’s all I can bring myself to do.
She’s gone. And even though I know where she is, I can’t go to her. All this shit is almost over, but it’s taking too long for my liking.
My door swings open and Dax saunters in like he owns my office. If it weren’t for his help with my girl’s escape, I’d punch him the fuck out for claiming my sister.
“Hey man,” he greets as he slumps into one of the chairs opposite my desk. “Angel isn’t going to survive this break-up. As much as we all coddle her, there’s a sadness ingrained in her, Samael. There’s only so much we can do. We need to hurry the fuck up.” His warning frustrates me because there’s nothing I can do to hasten my father’s decision to allow me access to what I need.
The FBI have confirmed they’ll be able to take down Harlan Wolfe, but I need to get the proof they need. There are many of our clients that will go down along with this shithole. This has been a long time coming, and if I could get this done tomorrow, I would.
I’ve spent too long here, sitting back and waiting. My father doesn’t trust easily, and even though I’m his son, he hasn’t let me in on all the secrets he hides. Now that I’m practically running the club, he’s finally given me access to certain records, but not the one’s I want and need to take him down.
As much as I hate Dax, I know that he’s the only one who can help me. The filth that lurks in these mansion walls is far from what anyone can imagine.
I’ve seen my father torture and maim people who double-crossed him. Even though I’m his son, he’ll not think twice about doing the same to me.
That’s why I can’t go to Angel. If he knows about her, there’s no telling what he would do.
Once I have my father’s safe combination, I can find everything we need to send him and his friends to the hell they deserve. They’ll all rot in prison.
Every single one of them, including the infamous Harlan Wolfe.
“I have a meeting with him tomorrow. I’ll get what we need,” I assure him with a confidence I don’t feel. Dax nods in understanding. I’m risking my life, but I’d do anything for my sister and the woman who’s etched inside me.
“Did you call her?” His gaze settles on the phone I’ve practically got crushed in my hand and I nod. “Theia and I are looking out for her, she’s staying strong. With Axel, Dakota, Skyla, and Kael she’s got family to care for her. She’s even accepted a job.” This is news to me. My sister didn’t mention it when I spoke to her.
“Where? What is she doing?”
He regards me with a guarded expression and pushes off the chair. “At Inferno. She’s working the bar. It keeps her busy and keeps her mind off you. She’s good at what she does. Sometimes she even laughs, and enjoys herself with the girls.” The words have a hint of pride in them and a spike of jealousy knocks me off kilter.
“Are you looking after her? Because I’ll fucking break you if someone touches her. You have two of the most important women in my life in your care, so don’t fuck this up.” My warning earns me a chuckle.
“Sam, as much as you hate me, I’ll never hurt a woman. Unless she asks for it.” His mouth quirks again and I’m tempted to wipe the smug grin off his face with my goddamn chair.
“Don’t be a dick,” I growl out in response.
“Why don’t you go to her? Explain what you’re doing? She needs you, Sam.” He doesn’t meet my eyes, and as much as I want to, I can’t. It’s the same thing I think about every day, but I can’t see the pain in her expression for what I did that night. Sending her away was the best thing I could have done for her.
“I can’t, I’m not ready yet.” I knew I had to seek vengeance for all she’s been through. There is nothing that will stop me from avenging the horrors my girl had to face. I’d move heaven and earth to right the wrongs.
“She misses you.” His words do more than pierce me. They squeeze the life from me. The breath from my lungs. I’ve never loved, never cared for anyone and when she swooped into my life with her beauty, her innocence, I was fucked. Right there and then I realized that I was capable of emotion. And I was enraptured by the woman who’s now gone.
Even if it was by my hand.
“I miss her,” I answer honestly. He regards me then. We’ve never been friends, being civil with him has been difficult, but this right here, me baring my heart and soul, is something I’ll never do again. “Tell her…” I’m not sure what I want her to know.
“You love her? Do I tell her to wait for you? Or do I tell her to move on and be happy?” The truth hurts, because I don’t know how long I’m going to be stuck here trying to take my father down. He’s shrewd, and it may take an army, one tha
t I don’t have. “Do I tell her you’ve moved on?” Dragging my gaze up, I stare at him and I realize the agony on my face must be evident because he doesn’t say anything more. But I can’t deny her a future.
“Do what you must,” I bite out. “Is there someone else?” I question, but exhale a relieved breath when he shakes his head.
“She’s too caught up in you, man. I just wondered what it is you want her to do. You don’t know how long this is going to take and you don’t have the fucking balls to see her.” His words are harsh, but they’re true. I don’t have the courage to look into those sparkling green pools again and then have to walk away.
“The next time I stand in front of her I want this shit to be over. I don’t want the threat of my father hanging over us anymore. It’s been too long, and I’ll never put her through that again.” He nods, but I can tell he doesn’t agree with me. Fuck, I don’t agree with me either, but my choice is to keep her safe. If my father finds out where she is, he’ll have her killed for leaving.
“I’m heading back.” Dax waits, but I say nothing more. “See you tomorrow, man.”
“Yeah. Tomorrow.” And just like that, I’m alone again. Pushing up off the chair, I head for the cabinet and grab my favorite whiskey. Pouring a double shot, I swirl the amber liquid and watch it trickle down the crystal tumbler.
Flopping into my office chair, I close my eyes and sip the alcohol which burns a path down my throat. The memories of my feisty, submissive Angel invade my mind. She is a contradiction in so many ways. I press the button on my laptop and music fills my darkened office as I close my eyes and remember her.
“Broken” by Seether breaks through my silence and my mind flits back to those memories.
Of her.
My Angel.
“Do you enjoy testing me, Angel?” Her bright eyes find mine and we stare at each other for so long, but she doesn’t respond. Her compliance with clients comes easily, but with me, she challenges me like no other woman has before. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
“Yes, Sir,” she responds cheekily and I can’t help smirking at my beauty.
“And do you like the consequences?” I question and she nods. It’s been six months since I fell apart in front of her and took her. I slid into her body again after that first time and it was the most healing moment of my life.
She meets my stare dead on and smirks. “Always.” The chaos that surrounded me on a daily basis melted away when she came into my life and here I stand, her Master and she my slave.
“Dance with me,” I ask and her mouth quirks into a smile. I’m not romantic, I’m an asshole, but this woman drives me beyond everything I ever thought I was. She rises to her bare feet and waits. Circling my arm around her waist, I pull her to me. Her body fits against mine and we mold together, like flames dancing in the darkness.
As if we’d been made as one, ripped apart violently, then placed separately only to find true happiness when we’d found each other again. “You’re not as bad as you want us girls to believe,” she states quietly and lays her head on my chest, which in turn sends heat racing through me.
Reaching up, I grip her hair and pull her head back so we’re eye to eye. “Never doubt how much I can hurt you, Angel. I’m not a nice man. Never have been, never will be.” Leaning in, I whisper my lips over hers. “And don’t doubt that I love to make you cry. If you test me, I will.”
Her gasp sends a jolt of pleasure to my dick. She squares her shoulders, her beautiful lips lift, and I know I’m in for a retort. “Then make me cry. Show me pleasure and pain. Give me everything you have, Samael.” My name falls from her lips like silk draping over smooth, soft skin. Her challenge is more than words because her body trembles with need.
She’s become somewhat of a masochist and it makes me ache for her.
No, our relationship isn’t all flowers and sunshine, it’s darkness, leather, and pain. But as much as I dole out, she’s pushes right back. I step back and reach for her collar, quietly I clip it around her neck and my blood ignites, burning through my veins.
“Kneel,” I order and she drops to her knees. “Look at me, Angel.” Her eyes lift as the song changes and “Don’t Fear the Reaper” by HIM filters around us. “You don’t fear me. Do you, pet?” She shakes her head and grins. Naughty little girl. “Good, now show me how much you want me.” I gesture to my slacks and her slender fingers fly to the zipper. She makes quick work of getting my erection out. “I’m strict with you. I love to punish you, force you beyond your limits, but once you’re exhausted, I’ll hold you, care for you, and I’ll make sure you’re sated, little one.”
She smiles as her sweet mouth envelops the crown of my cock. The sight is incredible.
This woman has the power to disarm me, to break me, but she also has the power to grant me salvation.
Her light is a beacon in my darkness, and I can’t help but want her. To want to bathe in her innocence, even though I know deep down I’m slowly dragging her into my world. And for the first time in my life, I don’t want to dim her flame. I want it to burn bright. I want her to engulf me in her blaze and scorch me until my darkness lies in ashes at my feet. I know that only then will we be able to be together.
“Is my little masochist awake?” I roll over to find Sam sitting on my desk. He seems to love that spot and somehow, when he sits there, he looks so much younger. His grin is wide and it lights up his face.
“I am, Sir,” I taunt him by purring the last word and I notice the blaze of fire in his eyes. It’s been three years since I was brought to the house. When Dax brought me here and told me to trust my maker, I thought he was full of shit, but Samael looked after me. Even when he’s training me, his touch is harsh yet gentle, making me crave more of it.
When he does hurt me, though, my body responds to it, becoming needy and wet. Now he teases me and tells me he’s turned me into a masochist. “How are you feeling after last night?” I shrug and push up, pulling the comforter up around me. It’s winter and the heating hasn’t kicked in yet this morning, so my room is chilly.
“I’m okay, he wasn’t as bad as he normally is.” Narrowing his gaze, he watches me, but I’m not lying. The masked man who took me last night wasn’t as violent as he usually is when he takes me.
I started taking clients eight months ago and even though I can see how much Sam hates it, he’s promised me he’ll always watch over me. My dark angel.
“My father requested you tonight,” he bites out on an angry growl. I’ve never met the older Wolfe, but from what I hear from the girls, he’s the worst of all. “I hate it, Angel. There’s no way I can refuse him or he’ll know about my feelings for you.” His honesty has a flurry of nerves stirring in my belly. After years of wondering what we were, he’s finally admitted to having feelings for me, and even though I have a daunting task ahead of me tonight, at least I know the truth.
“I’ll survive,” I promise, but all he does is shake his head.
“I know you will. It’s not that. My father can be…brutal.” It pains him, I can see the anguish written on his face. “After my father is with a girl, she’s never the same, Angel.” He lifts his gaze to me and when his eyes land on mine, I see it.
Screaming at me in the silence.
He’s falling too.
As much as I want to say the words, I can’t. So in our silent exchange, I tell him I love him too.
“Hey sweetheart, get your ass over here,” a deep growl comes from behind me, and I spin to find Axel, our head of security and my best friend, staring at me.
“Axe, are you due for work today?” I frown, and he shakes his head while trailing his gaze over me. There’s been tension between us recently. He’s wanted me since the moment we met, but I know Dakota cares for him so I can’t find it in my heart to lead him on.
I love Sam, I always will and being with anyone else just doesn’t feel right. Theia said he’ll come for me, but it’s been too long without him and I ache.
I
cry myself to sleep every night. It isn’t the way I should live, but I feel like half a person without him near, without him at all. My other half is still stuck in that house.
“I’m off today, but I came in to check on you. I didn’t hear you come home last night.” He gives me that crooked grin that has most of the women—and even some guys—falling over themselves to get with Axel, but all I see is my friend.
“I know, I tried to be as quiet as possible, I needed time to think,” I tell him with a smile. “It’s going to be busy tonight.” I shrug, wiping the counter.
“Are you dancing?” he questions and my body goes rigid. Dax has forbidden me to get on stage again, and even though I know it will pay my bills, I can’t bring myself to fight him on the topic. Having someone look at me in a lustful way is not something I want.
“No, you know I’m not allowed to and I don’t want to,” I retort, pulling the glasses off the shelf. I continue to stack them on the counter, getting them ready for our cocktail hour which starts in thirty minutes.
“Because you still love him,” he murmurs. Axel knows about Sam and me, and I can’t bring myself to answer because sadness threatens to choke me as it always does when anyone mentions him, so I nod. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to bring him up.” My gaze flits to his and I see remorse in his eyes.
“It’s fine. Did you want a drink?”
He shakes his head and gives me a smile that doesn’t reach his aqua eyes. “No, I need to get something done for Dax. And I’m going to stop by to say hi to Dakota.” He reaches into the inner pocket of his leather jacket that hugs him like a second skin and pulls out a small envelope. “I brought you something.” Regret, or is it frustration, sets his lips in a grim line and I can’t help wonder what it could be.
He sets it on the counter, pushes up and strides away in his nonchalant way. “Hey!” I call after him but he doesn’t stop, just offers me a wave and leaves me alone in the bar.
