by J Niessen
The Duchess of Pain
Story Two: Zero-Sum Gain
By
J. Niessen
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Published By:
The Duchess of Pain, Zero-Sum Gain
Copyright 2013 by J. Niessen
Cover Page by J’s Art Emporium, Copyright 2013
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Zero-Sum Gain
By Stephanie Clipper
Young girls can develop daddy issues early on. Maybe I wouldn’t have been in search of attention during my teenage years, if momma hadn’t run daddy off. She tries convincing me, with false accusations, of his horrible character. At first I don’t understand what she’s talking about, unable to recall these descriptions. Hearing them repeated I eventually start believing the allegations. She’s not all bad. Mamma has a knack for balancing her mood with light humor.
People tell me I have a bright presence. By adopting mamma’s deep animosity, I know that wickedness will lessen my glow and distort my beauty. Assessing the lives of others in our community, I deduce that some people can’t control their bad emotions and that evil takes over.
My good eating habits come from when daddy would do the shopping and meal preparations. After he’s gone I do my best to follow his example. Momma tries to convince me otherwise. I have an unpleasant experience, ordering Green Coffee Extract as a dietary supplement through the mail. It’s offered at an unbeatable price, but the results aren’t as described. My stomach’s upset shortly after each dose. Reading up on its raw tasting qualities, what I have is nothing like what professional nutritionists describe. I suspect instant cocoa is in the clear capsules. Momma says “That’s what happens when all you eat is healthy. Your body rejects what you put into it and you get sick.”
Staring at an old high school picture of mamma reflects my same alluring traits. At the time she was slender and tall, with captivating blue eyes and naturally straight auburn hair. Understanding our similar genetics, I’m wary of her current physical state. By practicing poor eating habits and neglecting physical exercise I could easily slip into to a similarly obese weight class. I see her contemplating a change in her meals, but she never takes the steps toward turning her life around. Every Sunday she clears the fridge of uneaten food from that week, getting rid of all the healthy supplies she could have used.
My cat’s name is Mr. Whiskers. He has a bad case of fleas. When we go food shopping I get pet shampoo for his bath, there at the grocery store. The first application doesn’t work, so with the next wash I increase the amount of solution added to the basin of hot water. He gets sick, supposedly from the fleas, because they’re still around in the house, and so I take him to the pet clinic. Guilt makes me feel ill by what I’m told. The vet explains I’ve been using synthetic insecticides, a powerful poison, derived from the development of chemical warfare agents. Organophosphates and carbamares, found in the shampoo, are nerve-paralyzing agents that can cause convulsions, nausea, and respiratory arrest in my cat. I feel miserable when Mr. Whisker’s veterinarian, Dr. Lenlight, goes on to describe…
“What pet owners don’t realize is these chemicals are very dangerous, making children sick, and can cause serious illness to the animal. Owners explain how they were simply following the application label, instructing to soak their cat or dog thoroughly. What they don’t realize is that the toxic chemicals inside the treatment can be absorbed through their pet’s skin and taken into the blood. Long-term treatment usage of synthetic pesticides can cause kidney failure, and other medical complications. It’s my belief these dosages can result in cancer within the animal. A natural alternative for flea control is called diatomaceous earth, or powdered pyrethrum. This fossilized algae, resembling chalk dust, has sharp-edged particles that attach to and penetrate the waxy coating of a flea’s shell-like exoskeleton. The application causes the pest to die of dehydration, without causing harm to the pet or their owners.”
After using Dr. Lenlight’s natural alternative, our household is finally rid of fleas.
Each night, before going to sleep, I visit various internet chat sites. I falsify my name using Claudia, age 17, in the US. On two separate occasions something unexpected happens. Before I have a chance to type anything, a question appears from the party at the other end, with my name. First, one year ago. “Is that you Stephanie?” is the introduction. I thought of it as a mistaken random message. Since then I’ve yet to receive one similar, addressing me by the name of a different individual. Tonight there’s another one, with just “Stephanie?” I stare at the screen, disbelieving. Not knowing what to type, I disconnect from the page.
Before daddy left I felt no desire to search for other attention. He gave me ample fatherly affection and I enjoyed the love we shared. Hearing him call me “Daddy’s Little Girl” would make me feel so special. Watching over our happiness, I sense momma’s jealousy.
Now I’m lonely and empty inside. My concerns turn to other alternatives. Considering I need another male in my life, my hope is that he and I can have a baby together. High school boys are immature, unaware of how to treat a girl. Two med students (Danny and Jordan who I meet through a chat site) rooming in Colorado, say they’ll take care of me if I’m submissive. I’m attracted to a man that takes charge; displayed dominance shows that suitor has capability.
After finding a home for Mr. Whiskers, Danny and Jordan tell me to contact Elizabeth (who’s going to Colorado also) so she and I can ride together. I leave without telling mamma. After placing my bags in the trunk of Liz’s car, we’re off to start anew. I wonder how life will be with all four of us living together. The tattoo on Elizabeth’s back shoulder is our icebreaker.
“I like your ink,” I greet Elizabeth.
“I can tell you the story behind it if you’re interested?” she offers, with studying eyes, testing to see if I truly appear fascinated, before shifting her focus back on the road.
Nodding for her to share, I encouragingly admit “I enjoy learning people’s views.”
She goes on to inform, “Most people are closed-minded. They hear one explanation, and instantly block out alternate theories. But you seem receptive, Steph, so here’s why I got it…
“In South America they feed on weedy thistles. It’s the painted lady caterpillar’s primary diet, not threatening any other crop. During drought seasons the thistle weeds become more abundant. That’s when the painted butterfly population abounds. I find it so interesting how a species can thrive, when all around other life is scorched and dying. After laying their eggs, the female butterflies migrate from Mexico to their final destination in Canada. What’s a mystery is how the following generation, having grown up in South America, knows to travel north also.
“So here are some fun facts! Painted lady butterflies have sensors on their legs that respond like tastebuds. And dragonflies are a top predator.” What I gather from Liz’s description, is she admires the insect because of its ability to thrive in trying co
nditions.
Elizabeth and I get along really well. The topic of age-gaps in Evolution develops from our butterfly discussion. A comical, thought provoking question comes up. Which came first the plant or the bug? Uninhibited, Liz inquires on my thoughts. I go on to explain honestly…
“I’m not gonna deny the possibility of a master designer. Those who say this world developed accidentally, by chance, are only fooling themselves. I’ve known people who won’t admit openly God exists, because of personal reservations. And then there are those who aren’t very nice, who want to convince you there isn’t a God, so they don’t spend eternity alone.”
“Right? Well the way I see it, Steph, those types of people are lonely because they’re always searching for temporary comfort, hoping it will last. What’s sad is that they haven’t taken the time to understand the reason behind that empty feeling inside. The answer lies in each of our hearts. The solution is so simple, and yet so many just won’t accept resolve.
“Is that the reason you decided to come along? Knowing this is not necessarily the right path you should be on, and that it’s easier having someone to accompany
