Toy Boy

by Lily Harlem

  “Oh!” I said, as he went beneath the water.

  His splash reached me, peppering my skin in cool droplets.

  He surfaced, flicked his hair from his face and blew out, sending a small spray of water from his mouth.

  “Come on in, it’s lovely.”

  “Well, I don’t know.” I glanced down at my underwear.

  “It’s like a bikini. Come on, it will dry in no time.” He tipped onto his back and kicked. “Unless,” he said, with a wink, “you fancy skinny dipping. I’m up for it if you are.”

  “Er, no.”

  “Can’t blame a guy for trying.” He chuckled, turned onto his front, then burst into a front crawl.

  It came to my mind that at this moment, he couldn’t be further removed from his business and all the responsibilities that entailed. It clearly gave him a boost to be out here, at sea like this and away from everything.

  I cautiously took a step down onto the narrow ledge at the back of the boat that was only a foot from the sea.

  Could I?

  I wanted to. I had the urge to feel like I, too, was a million miles from the lecture hall, from my small Oxford office and the worries of finding a parking space, of being home for the grocery delivery, or making time for the gym.

  “Come on,” Sullivan called, slowing and turning. “You only live once, Kay.”

  Damn, he was right. And I was here, right now. This was my moment to dive in.

  Before I could change my mind, I tipped forward, held my nose and jumped in, feet first.

  The water flooded my ears with a roar. Sharp coldness wrapped around me and raced between my legs.

  I kicked and lashed out, bursting to the surface, gasping.

  “Whoa,” I called, “you didn’t tell me it was going to be so cold.”

  “It’s refreshing,” he said, swimming toward me. “Nothing like a dip in the sea to wake you up for the day.”

  I went into a breaststroke and tested out the feel of being immersed in open water.

  “You going to swim all the way round?” he asked.

  “Round what?”

  “The boat. Come on.”

  “Okay.” I was a little breathless, but only from the initial shock of the coolness, and I was getting used to it now. I could swim just fine.

  “Great, I’ll stick by you.”

  He swam at my side as I pushed out with my legs and headed toward the little bush I’d been using as my pinpoint.

  “How do you feel?” he asked, lazily flipping to his back again and kicking.

  “Cold.” I laughed. “It’s great but a bit scary.”

  “Why scary?”

  “It’s just… What else is swimming with me? Except for you, that is.”

  “Oh lots.”

  “Thanks. That helps.” I strained my eyes to look downward. The seabed was visible, mainly sand with a few rocks scattered about, but it was still pretty deep.

  He smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled a little. “Nothing that will hurt you. It’s all good.”

  “Not even jellyfish?”

  “Well, yeah, but they prefer the deeper water.”

  I wasn’t sure how true that was but decided to believe him, twisted onto my back and stared up at the perfect blue sky.

  “You’re a natural,” he said. “And believe me, you’ll get hooked.”

  I didn’t answer. Instead, I thought how absolutely wonderful it was to be right here, in this tiny part of the world.

  “Thanks,” I said, “for making me have this memory to take back.”

  “It’s the least I could do.”

  “What do you mean? I’ve hardly behaved how you thought. You don’t owe me anything.”

  “I agree that you didn’t take our age gap as well as I thought you would—the opposite in fact—but still, these last eight months, I’ve never been happier. Since I met you online, I’ve felt like I was working for someone other than myself, the future meant something. I had an aim, a goal, and that was to make you happy.”

  His words filled me with regret. He had made me happy. I wanted him to still make me happy.

  “It’s all made sense to me,” he went on, “this life. It’s meant to be shared with someone special. A soul mate.”

  I flipped onto my stomach. “But do you really, in your heart of hearts, think that’s me?”

  He was treading water and looking at me. His hair was much darker now that it was wet.

  “You’ve made me very happy, Kay. Happier than I ever thought I could be, and for that, no matter what happens now, I’ll always be grateful. Now I know what I want. Though you’ve set a damn high bar for anyone else to reach, I’ll always strive for a connection like ours.”

  I swallowed—a lump of regret had risen up from my stomach and wedged itself in my throat. “Sullivan—”

  “No, please don’t say you’re sorry or I’m too young again. I don’t want this moment wrecked.” He jerked his head. “Come on, we haven’t been all the way around yet.”

  I stared at him, at his lips. I had a sudden urge to kiss him. Not in a polite, way, but in a passionate, go-for-it way. I wanted to make it right for him. Give him what he wanted. A memory. Really I did.

  “Okay,” I said, kicking out, “let’s do it. All the way round. Last one back makes brunch.”

  He laughed and the seriousness left his face. “I love your competitive streak and that you actually think you can beat me.”

  “Of course I can beat you.”

  I was already a little way ahead of him because I’d lunged out first, plus, I was nearer the boat. Soon, I was turning around the bow. I dodged the chain that held the anchor and sliced through the water, amazed that he hadn’t overtaken me.

  Was he letting me win?

  I glanced over my shoulder. I couldn’t see him.

  A flash of movement below the surface caught my attention.

  He was under the water, deep, as if diving to the bottom.

  I paused and watched him.

  The soles of his feet flashed pale, and a puff of sand billowed around his hand as he disturbed the seabed.

  Then he swiveled and powered up to the surface, breaching it with a splash and an inward gulp of air.

  I carried on swimming, eyeing the platform at the back of Dolly Bird. I wanted to win.

  There was a small chrome ladder with only a couple of rungs that made climbing out of the water easy. I pulled myself up, missing the weightlessness the sea had given me.

  As I stepped out, I was aware of Sullivan close behind. He’d be getting a great view of my arse in my little white knickers.

  I sashayed my hips, just a little, then looked over my shoulder at him.

  He grabbed hold of the boat and grinned up at me.

  Oh yeah, he’d been getting an eyeful. I recognized that look in a man’s eyes. He liked what he saw, and for a moment, that knowledge utterly thrilled me.

  For a moment.

  Then I remembered the age thing.

  “Here,” he said, holding up a shell. It was pale pearlescent pink and swirl-shaped like the top of a soft-served ice cream. “A souvenir.”

  “I love it.” I took it and slid the tip of my finger over the smooth surface. “Is there anything living in it?”

  “No, I don’t think so. It was just lying on the seabed.”

  “Is this what you went down for?”

  “Yeah.”

  He planted his hands on the flat surface of the narrow deck and hoisted himself out of the water. Splashes rained down and rushed off his body, gullies forming between his taut abdominal muscles.

  He closed his eyes and shook his head, sending a spray of water that hit me.

  “Hey,” I said, laughing and placing the shell aside.

  He grinned and pushed his hand through his fringe, making it stick up wildly. “Towels, in there, under the bench.” He pointed to the next level of the boat.

  I stepped up, moved the faded navy seat cushion, then flipped the lid. Sure eno
ugh, several brightly colored beach towels were neatly folded.

  I grabbed two, turned, then tossed one his way.

  He was staring at me, his mouth slightly open and his eyes narrow. “Fuck,” he muttered, absently catching the towel and letting it hang in his hand. The end dragged on the deck.

  “What?”

  “Er, next time a proper bikini would be a good idea.” He nodded at my chest then his gaze roamed downward.

  I looked at my breasts then lower. Fuck. My underwear was transparent. It was as if I had nothing on. I quickly held my towel in front of my torso.

  “I’m not complaining,” he said, swiping at a drip of water running down his cheek. “But as you’re off limits, that outfit is likely to make me damn uncomfortable real quick.”

  I shook the towel out, and without revealing myself again, wrapped it around my body.

  He watched me closely then shifted from one foot to the other.

  ‘We’ll shower together. Think of it, Kay. Me and you, naked, water, steam. I’ll soap you up, cover you in suds, then rinse them off. But don’t think you’ll be getting clean, because that’s when we’ll start to get dirty, real dirty. Maybe I’ll tell you to get to your knees and suck my cock.’

  I glanced at his groin.

  ‘The water will slide down your face and over my dick as I glide in and out of your mouth. I’d love to see that, Kay, you adoring my cock, taking me deep, sucking just a little and making me feel like I’ve died and gone to Heaven.’

  There was a definite bulge going on behind his swim shorts.

  “Kay?”

  I shut my eyes. “Er, I’ll go get dressed.”

  “Do you remember?” he asked. “All the things we used to talk about on the phone? When you were in bed, late at night and feeling lonely. When it was dark and quiet and it felt like we were the only people in the world.”

  “Yes.” I nodded, opened my eyes and glanced at the doorway to the lower deck. “I do.”

  “I was lonely in my life, too, but not when I was talking to you. Then, I wasn’t lonely at all, I was with you.” He paused. “Is that how you felt?”

  I nodded, just a little, and stared into the distance at the flat horizon.

  “God, I want you.” He took a step closer, looming over me. “Do you understand how much?”

  “Yes, I know. And I…”

  “You want me, too?”

  “No, yes, bloody hell. I can’t do this.” I rubbed my temple and gripped the towel tighter. “You should have just taken me to the airport, Sullivan. It would have been for the best.”

  I turned away then dashed below deck. My body was threatening to betray me. My nipples were tight, little peaks, and a needy pressure was growing in my lower abdomen. Images of kissing him, more than kissing him, running my mouth over his strong, young body, exploring those damn fine muscles, sucking his cock, having his cock in me, were dominating my thoughts.

  Maybe I should give him what he wants?

  Just once.

  No.

  Oh, he was good. Using his gorgeousness to try to turn me into a cougar. Seduce me with his big, athletic body and sexy smile. Well, I wouldn’t fall for it. I wouldn’t sleep with him, fuck him, have my way with him…whatever it was he wanted. That just wouldn’t work for either of us. It would only leave me more empty and lonely than before.

  But maybe it would get rid of this longing in my chest and satisfy the hunger in the pit of my belly. And wow, an orgasm by something other than my own hand was well overdue.

  Chapter Seven

  After donning my black swimsuit—by far the most conservative of my bathing costumes—I then threw on a baggy, sleeveless T-shirt and scraped my hair back into a ponytail.

  This should put him off, I thought, rubbing sun protection onto my face and spreading the greasy, oil-based cream around—I looked like I’d dipped my cheeks in butter.

  My stomach gave a loud rumble, and I pressed it, I needed to eat.

  When I emerged on deck, Sullivan had gone.

  A flutter of panic washed through me. Surely he wouldn’t abandon me. But then I saw him, sitting at the front of the boat with his legs dangling over the side.

  “You mentioned food,” I called.

  He turned, his usual chilled-out smile back in place and the tension of the previous conversation gone. “Sure, I’ll get to it now.”

  He stood and walked toward me.

  As he ducked beneath a rope, I couldn’t help but glance at his swim shorts again. I wondered if his hard-on had gone—if he’d relieved himself or if it had subsided on its own.

  A shiver of desire went through me. The thought of him masturbating, out here in the open, was seriously erotic. I knew what he sounded like when he came. I’d heard him on the phone, pressed the earpiece as close to my head as I could and memorized every grunt and gasp.

  “Bread,” he said, brushing past me, “and cheese. Nothing fancy, I’m afraid.”

  Our arms skimmed against each other’s. “That’s fine. I wasn’t expecting fancy food.”

  “Good.” He pointed at the bench. “Sit and enjoy the view, and I’ll make your tea.”

  “Are you sure? Do you want me to help?”

  “No. Please. Sit.” His jawline tensed and he pressed his lips together.

  I guessed he really didn’t want me below deck. Perhaps it wasn’t safe for me to be in a confined space with him in case he lost control of his passion.

  A shiver of excitement went through me.

  Imagine it!

  But I listened to my common sense and didn’t follow him. Instead, I did as he’d asked, sat and again studied the pale cliffs that surrounded our own private bay. I wondered how many other people, over the centuries, had enjoyed the seclusion and privacy of this tiny corner of the world. Friends, family, lovers? Had anyone else ever been here with a gorgeous man but not made the most of the privacy, not indulged in pleasure and sex and orgasms the way I was denying myself?

  Denying him.

  I sighed and listened to a few gulls calling and Sullivan clattering in the galley. If he’d been right for me, what would we be doing now? Would we still be naked after skinny dipping? Would we be in the small cabin making love, me tied up with some of the rope from the rigging? Or perhaps I’d be giving him that blow job he’d talked about, but not in the shower—out here, under the Bimini, enjoying the fact that no one could see us or disturb us.

  I squirmed on the seat. Thinking about sex was turning me on. The way it did when Sullivan used that low, husky voice when indulging in dirty talk.

  Damn it, I missed sex. I missed being naked with another person, seeking pleasure, giving pleasure.

  “Here,” Sullivan said, appearing with a tray. “I hope I made it right.”

  “I’m sure you did.” I looked up at him and smiled.

  He didn’t look at me. “No sugar, milk in last.”

  “That’s right.” I reached for the tea then took a sip. “Perfect.”

  He sat opposite me then tore off a hunk of bread. He put it in his mouth, chewing industriously as he cut a wedge of cheese from a block of cheddar.

  “This is the most beautiful place I’ve ever had breakfast,” I said.

  He looked out at the horizon. “It sure is special.”

  “Amazing.” I reached for a piece of bread and took a bite.

  “Look,” he said, suddenly standing.

  “What?” I followed his line of sight.

  “Dolphin.”

  “Really? Where?”

  “About a hundred yards out.”

  I set down my tea and stood. Sure enough, a shiny gray sliver of fin had broken the surface of the water. “Wow, I’ve never seen one before.”

  “Odd that it’s on its own. They’re usually in pods.”

  “It isn’t. Look,” I said, pointing excitedly. Several other dolphins were milling about, just outside our bay.

  “I see them.” Sullivan moved down to the swim platform. “Come here.” H
e held out his hand.

  I took it and stood next to him. My heart was thumping with excitement. Seeing wild dolphins was on my bucket list. “Do you think they’ll come over?”

  “They might. They’re inquisitive.”

  I nibbled my bottom lip, and hope burst within me as the first one we’d seen slid through the water toward us. It came right up close and circled at the end of the boat. Its tail broke the surface of the water in a delicate wave.

  “He looks like he’s smiling,” I whispered. I could make out its face, its glossy skin, its curious eyes.

  “Beautiful,” Sullivan said, releasing my hand and winding his arm around my waist. He tugged me close and my body came into alignment with his.

  I pressed my hand to my mouth, almost too scared to breathe in case I scared the creature away.

  “He’s looking at us,” Sullivan said quietly.

  Sure enough, the dolphin had his head just out of the water, tipped slightly, and was studying us the way we were him.

  “I wonder what he’s thinking,” I said.

  “That I’m one hell of a lucky guy to have such a gorgeous woman in my arms.”

  I dragged my attention from the dolphin and twisted within Sullivan’s embrace.

  His gaze was on me, not the dolphin. His eyes were full of adoration, desire, need…love.

  I pulled in a deep breath. Everything seemed to have stilled, the rocking of the boat, the birds, the slight breeze.

  His mouth was parted a fraction, and I thought of his soft lips on my cheek the night before. His pecs had been so hard beneath my hands, and the feel of his breaths at my ear had sent a tingle whispering over my scalp.

  “Kay,” he murmured, slipping his other arm around me and pulling me close. “Please…” There was a desperate, anxious note in his voice.

  I reached up and pressed my palms against the sides of his face, gently flattening the fuzz of pale stubble. I pushed my body into his. I needed this. I needed him. It was what we both wanted, so why resist?

  I pushed all the nagging doubts, the shock, the hurt at his omission, from my mind, went onto my toes, my breasts dragging against his chest, and drew his face closer to mine.

  Shutting my eyes, I kissed him softly, a closed-mouth peck that lingered.