Living With Doubt (The Regret Series Book 2)

by Riann C. Miller

  “San Diego is a beautiful place to live. This is actually my hometown.”

  “This is so cool. Can I get your autograph?”

  Brady puts his son down and starts digging in what looks like a diaper bag. “Oh good. I found something.” He hands me a wadded-up receipt and a pen that looks like it’s been rolled around in cookie crumbs. “Sorry,” he bashfully says, rubbing the pen on his shirt.

  “No problem at all.” I quickly sign my name and hand him back his belongings when I hear my name again, only this time, it comes from the sweetest voice possible.

  “You didn’t have to pay someone to pretend to know who you were just on my account.”

  I turn to Lacey, and all I can do is smile. I’m surprised she’s here. I invited her. I arranged for her flight. I drove to the fucking airport to pick her up, yet I’m still surprised she actually followed through and came. I refused to look at my phone most of the morning in fear I’d find a text saying she wasn’t coming. When one never arrived, the uncertainty of her coming still danced around in my head, but now she’s here, and she looks amazing. Tight, dark jeans, boots, a cream-colored sweater, and she left her black hair down.

  “I’m glad you made it.”

  Lacey smirks. “Did you think I was going to back out? I don’t make promises I can’t keep, Girard.”

  I reach out and pull her into me. Without a word, I lower my mouth to hers. Within seconds, our kiss isn’t suitable for a public setting. Using all my willpower, I pull away.

  When she peers up at me, I swear I can see a dreamy look in her eyes, but knowing me and my sudden change of character, it’s probably wishful thinking.

  “You ready?”

  She blinks a few times before wordlessly nodding. I lace my hand with hers and pick up her suitcase. “I rented us a beachfront suite not too far from the stadium.”

  “Why aren’t we staying at your place?”

  “Because I don’t see the point in owning a house here. When I’m home, I stay at my mom’s house, but I didn’t think she would appreciate hearing what I have planned to do with you.”

  She wrinkles her nose in disgust. “Good call.”

  Thirty minutes later, the two of us are walking into the suite I rented at the Emporium, a five-star hotel my sister constantly talks about. The room is suffused with sunlight, thanks to a wall of glass that delivers a fantastic view of the Pacific Ocean. A table in the middle of the formal living area holds a magnificent arrangement of flowers. A door to the left is open, showcasing a massive master bedroom. I’m impressed, but if Lacey is, she doesn’t act like it.

  “Well, you got me all the way out here. What’s the plan?” She bites her lips as her blue eyes darken with lust.

  “I’d like to show you around. Give you an idea of how beautiful this city is, but that will interfere with the amount of time I’d like to spend inside your amazing body.”

  “I think option two sounds like the better way for us to spend the weekend.”

  I can’t help but smile. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.” I close the distance between us, my cock already painfully hard as I take her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss. I pull away to work on unbuttoning her jeans.

  “Geez, someone is in a hurry.”

  “Lacey, my dick has waited ten days for this.”

  Her eyes flitter around the room before she looks up at me. “You haven’t been with anyone else since you returned home?”

  “Fuck no,” I growl. “And if you tell me someone has touched you, I might come unglued.”

  “No,” she answers quickly, and for whatever reason, I instantly believe her.

  “Lacey, I want a relationship with you. I was serious when I said that, so unless you tell me to fuck off because you never plan to see me again, then my dick isn’t going near another woman.”

  Her response seems to take forever, adding undue stress that causes my muscles to tighten and ache. After what feels like an eternity, her features soften. “Okay. I believe you.”

  “I won’t lie, cheat, or purposely hurt you.” I tilt her head back, forcing her eyes to mine. In them, I search for any indication she truly believes me, but the only emotion I can clearly identify is fear. “Give me time. Give us time, and I’ll prove to you I’m different.”

  “Okay, Jake.”

  Jake.

  I relax even more hearing her call me by my first name.

  “But I think I’m ready for you to show me just how much you missed me.”

  “I’d be happy to, sweetheart.”

  21

  Lacey

  A war raged in my mind all day Friday. I repeatedly told myself to stay home, that nothing good can come from spending any more time with Jake. Then I told myself it was rude not to go. After all, Jake had already purchased a plane ticket for me. Not to mention, if I didn’t go with him to that stupid game, then he’d more than likely take another woman. And the idea of him being with someone else left me lightheaded.

  I knew I’d spend the whole weekend torturing myself, so I packed a bag, set my alarm, and arrived at the airport long before any sane person should.

  Through the entire flight, I kept telling myself this was it. I just need to enjoy myself, make the most of the weekend, and when I leave on Monday, whatever this is between Jake and me will be over.

  However, now that I’m here, and my crazy thoughts about the type of man I think Jake really is has finally settled down, I feel nothing but dread at the idea of cutting him out of my life completely, even if that’s for the best.

  I watched him talking to that man and his kid, and maybe it’s my imagination, but I swore I saw Jake’s eyes light up.

  Kids.

  I’m nowhere near ready to even think about children, if I ever will be, but that’s a conversation I’m not about to bring up.

  “Where did you go?” Jake’s deep voice brings me back to the present.

  I turn my attention back to Jake, who insisted he had something he wanted to show me. “Oh, sorry. What did you say?”

  He smiles and reaches out for my hand. “Don’t be pissed, but I was hoping you’d meet my mom.”

  “What?” I force my nerves to stay at bay—after all, I took him home to meet my parents, but I’m certain I had a different motive than Jake does.

  “My mom thinks I’m a whore.”

  My jaw drops open before I bust out laughing.

  “Hey, it’s not funny.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  He sighs and runs his hands over his face. “Anyhow…I was hoping since you came all the way out here, I could introduce you to her. Show her that my life isn’t filled with one-night stands.”

  I raise my eyebrow in question.

  “Okay, that my life isn’t currently filled with one-night stands.”

  Nerves flutter in my stomach as my eyes wander to a cute, one-story yellow house.

  “This is where I grew up. I tried to buy something bigger, but my mom loves it here.”

  Their house is small, but it almost looks like it belongs on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Jake’s mom obviously takes pride in her home, that or Jake does.

  “Sure. We’re here, so I might as well meet her.”

  He gives me a tight smile and jumps out of his huge black Ford F-150 leaving me to do the same. We walk up the sidewalk together, and the closer we get to the door, the more my anxiety increases.

  “Relax. My mom is a very laidback person. If she acts excited at all, it’s only because you’re the first woman I’ve introduced her to in years, but I’m sure she’ll behave.”

  An uneasy feeling starts to form in the pit of my stomach, but in typical fashion, I do everything I can to avoid showing my true emotions.

  “I’ll be fine, Girard. Open the damn door already.”

  Jake’s eyes dance with humor as he pushes the front door open. “Mom, we’re here.”

  I hear what sounds like a herd of elephants stomping through the house until a cute blonde
appears in front of us. “Hey, Jakey. Mom said you were bringing a lady friend home with you.”

  Jake chuckles under his breath. “Knock it off, Bridgett, or next year’s Christmas list will be easy to shop for.”

  She ignores her brother and gives me a bright smile. “I’m Bridgett, Jake’s sister. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Hi. I’m Lacey,” I reply as an older blonde walks up to us.

  “Oh, Jake, you’re here.”

  “Lacey, this is my mother, Susan.”

  “Call me Susie, please. I’m thrilled to meet you, Lacey. I wish I could tell you that Jake has told me so much about you, but that would be a lie.”

  She smiles, and instantly, I can tell I’m going to like this woman.

  “There wouldn’t be much to tell. I haven’t known Jake for that long.”

  “Regardless, I’m glad to have you join us.” Susie turns her attention to Bridgett. “Is Carson coming?”

  Jake makes a strange noise in the back of his throat before glaring at his sister.

  “No. He has homework he needs to finish,” she replies, anger blazing in her eyes.

  “He’s a fucking pansy. Dump his ass—you don’t need a boyfriend anyway.”

  “I don’t recall asking for your opinion,” Bridgett snaps.

  “Okay, enough. We have company, so let’s save this conversation for another time.” Susie reaches out and grabs my hand. “I fixed Jake’s favorite, although there’s not a lot he won’t eat.”

  We walk into a nice dining room where Susie has a full spread of food waiting for us.

  “Holy crap, are there more people coming?”

  Jake and Susie laugh at the same time. “I learned a long time ago to fix more than necessary. Jake can go through leftovers faster than a homeless dog.”

  “Hey,” he says, pretending to be insulted while everyone takes a seat.

  “So, tell us a little about yourself, Lacey.” Susie motions for everyone to start helping themselves. I watch as Jake piles noodles, then rice, along with meat in some strange sauce onto his plate.

  “I live in New York City. I’m in my third year as a junior partner at a decent law firm that enjoys overworking and underpaying their employees.”

  Susie looks over at me. “I know that feeling all too well.”

  “I’d love to live in New York,” Bridgett says, meeting my gaze with a smile.

  Jake’s brows rise. “What about Carson?”

  “I’m nineteen. I might be old enough for a boyfriend, but I’m not ready to plan my whole life around a guy.”

  “Good.” He keeps his eyes fixed on his sister before he finally caves and gives her a smile.

  “How about you, Lacey? Are you ready to settle down?”

  “Bridgett,” Jake says with a warning in his tone.

  “I’m only twenty-nine. I’m not sure what I want, either,” I joke before I look down at the massive amounts of carbs on my plate. “What is this?”

  Susie gives me a genuine smile. “Homemade Beef Stroganoff, like I said, Jake’s favorite.”

  I glance over at Jake, who has more food than any one person should have, while he shrugs. “I’m a growing boy.”

  Bridgett exhales a hesitant breath. “Jake, do you think you can score another ticket for tomorrow? I really want to go.”

  Jake sighs in frustration, but when his little sister turns her lips up into a pout, I can tell he’s a goner. “I’ll ask Harvey. I’m sure he has more tickets than he really needs.”

  “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” she happily shouts.

  “Chill out, and you’re not allowed to talk to anyone who’s older than you are.”

  Both Susie and Bridgett roll their eyes.

  Watching the three of them in this easy banter allows me to finally relax. I bicker with my sisters all the time, but it’s different. Our remarks usually hit below the belt and typically cause my parents to snap.

  The three of them continue to involve me as much as possible in their conversation, and before I know it, Jake and I are leaving.

  After saying a quick goodbye to his family, we slowly make our way out to his truck.

  “Thanks for coming with me.” He reaches out and wraps his hands around my neck.

  “Thanks for inviting me.” Here in San Diego, far away from a past that haunts me, I feel happy, maybe even content being with Jake. “I mean it. I almost didn’t come. I thought it would only make things worse in the end, but I’m glad I got my ass on that plane.”

  “I’m glad you did, too.” He crashes his mouth into mine, instantly lighting my body on fire.

  “Only you, big brother, would make-out with a woman in front of his own mother’s house and still give me crap for having a boyfriend.”

  Jake pulls away from me, cursing under his breath. “Good night, Bridgett,” he shouts. “Let’s get the fuck out of here where I can undress you without worrying about my kid sister watching us.”

  I barely get the chance to agree with him before he tosses me inside his truck.

  Apparently, someone is in a hurry.

  “Holy shit,” I mumble to myself—however, Bridgett overhears me.

  “Intimidating, isn’t it?”

  I nod as I take in the thousands of people running around the field, preparing for the start of the game.

  Even though Jake isn’t playing, we entered the stadium through a VIP entrance, then we were escorted to a suite that overlooks the field. I’ve watched a handful of high school football games, but those don’t hold a candle to the luxury I’ve been rewarded with today.

  “What would you like to drink?” Jake asks as he wraps his arm around my waist.

  “I’ll take a beer, thanks.”

  “So will I,” Bridgett teases; Jake just groans and walks away.

  “Has he always been like this?”

  “Do you mean overprotective, domineering, and all around pig-headed, then yes. He’s always been that way.”

  I fight the urge to smile. “I like you. You’re definitely stronger than your brother believes—that much is clear.”

  “Thanks. I’m hoping with a love life of his own, maybe he’ll focus on his and stop micromanaging mine.”

  “A love life?” I question in shock.

  “Oh, give me a break. I know you’re doing the dirty with my brother. As long as you never give me any details, we’re good.”

  “Bridgett, sex and love are two completely different things.”

  “Believe me, I know that, but I also know Jake. He’d never bring a woman home to meet Mom if he wasn’t serious about her.”

  I start to panic, even though on a certain level, I’m not surprised by her comment. A part of me wants Jake. A huge part of me, but every single time I start to imagine a life with him, memories I don’t want to think about flood my mind.

  “Are you okay? You look a little flush.”

  Before I can answer, an attractive man, who’s built like a model, walks up with two drinks. “Girard said these were for you ladies.” He hands me a beer and Bridgett a bottle of water.

  “And who are you?” Bridgett asks with lust dripping from her words.

  “I’m Kyle Kruse. I’m a teammate of Girard’s.”

  “Of course you are,” she says, sounding less thrilled than she was moments ago.

  “I’m Lacey,” I interject.

  “Nice to meet you both of you,” Kyle says before looking back at Bridgett. “Let me guess…you can’t stand football?”

  “Actually, I love football.”

  His face lights up beautifully when he hears her answer, and I swear, if I wasn’t already emotionally wrapped up in Jake, this man would have me asking him what he’s doing later tonight.

  “A gorgeous blonde who loves football? I don’t think it gets better than that.”

  “Kruse, you better not be talking to my sister.”

  The guy’s face goes white. “Your sister?”

  Bridgett speaks up before Jake can. “Yes, an
d Jake still thinks I’m ten years old; otherwise, I’d be willing to show you just how much I know about football.” Her eyes return to the lustful state they were in moments ago while Kruse returns a similar look.

  “If you don’t stop looking at my sister like that, I’m going to punch you in the face.”

  “What?” Kruse jumps away from Bridgett like she’s on fire. “I wasn’t. I swear.”

  Jake sighs as Bridgett shakes her head in disgust and storms off.

  “I swear, I was just talking to them. You asked me to bring them their drinks. That’s all I did.”

  Jake glares at Kyle. “She’s nineteen. She’s just a fucking kid, so get whatever thoughts you have in that sick head of yours gone.”

  “You have nothing to worry about, Girard. I promise.” Kyle waits until Jake nods, then he takes off faster than lightning.

  “I can’t believe that fucker.”

  “Jake, he looked at her, that’s all. Whether you stopped to realize this or not, your sister is a beautiful girl. You need to stop acting like her dad.”

  “I’m the closest thing that girl has ever had to a dad.” He clinches his fist. “I know she’s growing up, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to let go.”

  I’m hit with the realization of how different Jake truly is from Bryan. Jake spent most of his teenage years acting like a makeshift father for his sister, and even though he’s been with more than his fair share of women, I know in my heart he’s not a user…not like Bryan.

  I nervously clear my throat. “I just mean…give her a little breathing room. If she chooses to be with a man who isn’t treating her right, then by all means, step in and do something about it, but until then, let her learn from paving her own path through life.”

  He starts to physically relax. “You’re right. I need to learn to ease up, at least a little, but Kruse is twenty-four. Bridgett has no business being with a man who’s five years older than her.”

  “What you walked up on really was harmless,” I add.

  Before Jake can respond, a man, wearing a designer suit, who looks angrier than Jake was moments ago, stomps up to the two of us. “What the hell, Girard. I give you one task and you can’t even manage to pull that off?”