by Ryan Casey
But when the thoughts came, they were of Olivia.
I heard myself back at Alec’s camp. Telling her that I couldn’t take her because I wanted her to be safe.
I remembered the way she’d looked back at me and told me that she wanted to be by my side because I might need her company. Not the other way around.
I remembered holding her and thinking how tough she was. What an absolute force of nature she was.
She’d been through so much in this world, and still she was standing.
She’d been forced to grow up fast. She’d been made to do horrible things. Things nobody should have to do.
And still, she was still standing.
At least I had to hope she was still standing.
I pressed forward again then. Even though the barbed wire hurt, even as it cut through me, I felt my lungs fill with air as everything became clear in my mind. I felt myself fighting those voices in my head. The ones telling me to give in. The ones telling me I wasn’t strong enough. The ones telling me I couldn’t be the beast I had to be to survive this world; the savage I needed to be to win.
My wife might be gone.
But I was going to do everything in my power—and a few things out of my power—to make sure the same thing didn’t happen to my daughter, or to my dog.
And I was going to butcher Danny in the process.
I closed my eyes and one final time, I saw Kerry’s smile.
I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
I took a deep breath and I let her image fade away into the background.
Then I grabbed the barbed wire between my palms and I got ready to pull.
I wasn’t going to give up.
I was going to fight.
Even if it killed me.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Gary Parkinson looked out into the woods and wondered what it’d be like to survive out there, away from this place, away from all this cruelty, away from everything.
It was dark. The dark still got to him, in all truth. He never liked the dark before the world collapsed, and since it had, well. It had a way of getting to him even more. He was on night watch, and the knowledge that he might not see morning was painful.
Even more painful was the knowledge of what he might see when he did wake up in the morning. Sometimes it was the thoughts that were the most painful things.
And not exactly the things that might happen to him, but the things that might happen to the people they captured.
His actions were starting to get to him.
He took a few deep breaths of the icy air. He used to meditate before the end of the world. His wife got him into it. Said it brought him into the present moment, made him appreciate it for what it was. And it’d worked. When he was coping with the minor stresses of work and of bills, things like that. Just minor things in comparison to what he had to deal with now, meditation had worked.
But try meditating when you’re tucking into the flesh of a dude you’ve just killed.
Try meditating when all you can hear are the screams of a man as he watches his wife getting consumed.
You just try it.
Or don’t. Really, don’t. You don’t want that shit on your conscience.
Gary looked around at the hills in front of his group’s camp. It was more than a camp, really. A village they’d been staying in for a good few months now. It was a perfect location. A lot of people passed by this way. And besides, they had Danny. His old military links helped because he had four vehicles, as well as working walkie-talkies, radios, things like that.
Not many, but enough.
Enough for them to be able to do what they did.
And what they did was brutal. But it was the new world. And if you wanted to survive the new world, you had to be willing to hunt.
Put your morals to one side if you want to live.
Gary listened to the perfect silence. Although that was a myth too, really. There was never any silence, not even now the bulk of the electric was down. There was always the wind. There were always noises in the distance. Other people going about their lives. Other groups with problems of their own.
Gary wondered if any other group would accept him after he’d been a part of Danny’s group. After all, they were like a feared kind of entity. People knew about them. They knew what they did. And if they didn’t, well they’d soon find out.
Their numbers weren’t all that spectacular in truth. Fifteen at this village, these days. About the same amount stationed up in Scotland, now. They’d lost a lot of people to disease, and many to defection.
But it didn’t matter how many you had when the word was out that you had an army.
Urban myth and legend were the greatest, strongest weapons of all.
But Gary had been struggling lately. He’d been struggling because he couldn’t help thinking of his family. His partner, Tom. They’d been together for four years before the world ended. Truth be told, Tom was always the active one in their relationship. He got jobs done. He knew how to do DIY work. He just seemed tougher, like the foundations of what they had were built all around him.
That changed when the power went out. Their roles shifted. And soon, Gary realised that Tom wasn’t the man he once thought he was. He was strong, sure, but only when he had a framework around him. When he had a home to go back to, shit television to lose himself in. He drew power from his home comforts, and the new world robbed him of that.
Tom made it two weeks.
It wasn’t anyone else that killed him, though.
It was the world.
Gary remembered the feeling he’d experienced when he woke up and found Tom hanging from a tree. He remembered the way his eyes were bloodshot, like he’d had a late night on the drink. He remembered just how rigid his limbs looked.
But most of all—and most challengingly of all—Gary remembered the feeling he felt.
He didn’t feel grief.
He didn’t even feel particularly sad, not at the time.
He felt sheer apathy and pragmatism.
Tom might’ve been his love in the old world. But in the new world, he was holding him back. He was a burden.
That was the day he realised he was a monster in this new world.
Of course, the grief had hit since. He’d had nights where he’d stayed away and thought about doing what Tom did. Opting out. Especially the nights after they’d drawn people here or hunted them down. Especially the nights after he’d forced himself to feast on the body of another person’s Tom; another person’s someone.
Gary knew he was too far gone. He knew there was no reversing the things he’d done, or changing the new world order, as shit as it was.
He was as much a part of this world as the cruel world itself was, now.
He was the world that killed Tom.
He didn’t like it. But it kept him alive.
That had to count for some—
He heard movement to his right.
When he heard the crunching footsteps, the first thing Gary thought was that it was just Chris. Chris liked to spook him out sometimes. He’d sneak off his guard post and make Gary jump, taking advantage of his trademark edginess.
But Gary couldn’t see Chris right now. And besides, something felt different. He couldn’t describe what it was, not exactly.
There was just a different feeling to this.
“Chris?” Gary called.
He didn’t want to abandon his post.
But when he saw the shadow step behind the low brick wall, he couldn’t help it.
He pulled back his gun and pointed over at the wall. He crept towards it, slowly, his breath frosting in front of him. He stopped every couple of steps to make sure he couldn’t hear any more movement. And with every step, Gary told himself he was strong enough. He’d made it this far. He could go even further.
He saw Tom in his mind as he reached the edge of the wall, his heart pounding. He took a few more of those trademark deep breaths, as the iron-rich flav
our of flesh covered his tongue in memory.
It didn’t knock him sick. That was the tough thing to take nowadays.
Guess meditation wasn’t such a sham after all.
Gary held his breath and waited at the edge of the wall for a few seconds. He couldn’t hear anything, so he assumed it was just an animal, or Chris screwing around, or something.
Hopefully not something.
He shook his head. Lifted his gun.
It was time for him to find out.
When he stepped around the side of the wall, the first thing he noticed was the smell.
Because the smell of metal in the air was familiar.
It was the smell of blood.
Chris was lying in a heap on the ground. Blood oozed out of his neck. It looked like he’d had his throat cut.
Gary felt total fear cover him. He went to run back to base. Went to wake everyone, sound an alarm.
But before he could turn, he felt something press through his back, and out of his stomach.
He looked down and saw a long blade pushed through him. It looked like some scrap metal pipe, but it’d been sharpened to resemble a sword of kinds.
He hadn’t felt the pain. Not really. Just fear, as he dropped to his knees, the metal dragging out of him on the way out.
He rolled onto his back, head spinning, and the pain kicked in then.
It kicked in, sharp and hot, just as he saw the silhouette of the man standing above him.
He didn’t recognise him. Not at first.
Then he remembered the chain on Kerry’s neck.
He remembered the talk of what they’d done to her husband.
He remembered—
“Please,” he started. Because there was something he had to tell this man. Will, he thought. Something important. “Wait. Don’t—”
“I’m done with waiting,” Will said.
He pulled back the blade with calmness, with ease.
And then before Gary could say another word, he stuffed it into his chest.
He hoped the secret wouldn’t die with him…
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Danny opened the rusty metal door and took a deep breath of the fear in the air.
It might be dark outside, but it was totally pitch black in this room. He didn’t need to see inside it, though. He could smell his way around with the sweat and the urine stenches. He could hear his way around with the cries and the whimpers. He could taste his way around, as his heart raced a little faster and the adrenaline inside him built up some more.
He knew what he was here for. He knew what he had to do.
He walked slowly into the room, the bottom of his shoes clicking against the solid floor. Every now and then, he heard a splash underfoot, felt his shoe squeaking, and he knew he’d walked through a pool of piss. It was a shame for his cattle, really. His cattle of people. For all their fear, they still stayed so well-behaved.
He knew the day would come when his supplies ran out. But he was eager to make sure that day didn’t come anytime soon.
Besides, they still had the prison up near Aberfeldy. The place was in lockdown. The citizens—well, former citizens really—of that place had been locked up.
At least the ones they’d kept alive.
Right here though, at home sweet home, there was something more important going on.
And that something more important involved the man who’d stood against them. Will.
Danny stopped when he knew he’d reached her. He listened to her breathing, feeling that tangible fear from the others all around him.
He stood there for a few seconds, knowing full well that the person opposite him knew he was there. He just wanted to give her a few moments to really feel it.
Then he crouched down and leaned towards her, smiling.
“Hello, Olivia.”
Olivia didn’t say anything. Danny found that interesting. Of course, they gagged most of their captives. But Olivia was different. He didn’t want to gag her. He wanted to make sure she was as comfortable as possible.
“It’s polite to speak when you’re spoken to.”
Still she didn’t say a word.
Danny felt a smile stretch across his face. If she was going to be a difficult one then so be it. He’d find a way to break her resolve eventually.
And he thought he had just the way.
He put his fingers in his mouth and whistled.
The door opened up, and two men stepped in.
Two men and a dog.
“Your dog’s called Bouncer. Right?”
Danny couldn’t see Olivia’s eyes, but he knew they’d be lighting up right now. Sure, Bouncer was limping a little. But Danny hadn’t shot him. Course he hadn’t shot him. What kind of a monster would shooting a damned dog make him? Nah, of course he hadn’t shot him. He loved all dogs. Loved all animals, in fact. Part of the reason why he hunted people instead. People were easier to catch, easier to kill.
Animals… well everything was really damned hard when it came to animals.
“I shot him with a sedative dart,” Danny said, as Bouncer went over to Olivia and started licking her face. “That’s why there was a little blood. But he’s fine. You don’t have to worry. He’s here for you now.”
Danny waited for Olivia to say something else. But still, she remained quiet.
“Don’t I even get a thank you?”
“My dad,” Olivia said.
It was the first thing she’d said. And Danny had to admit he’d been prepared for Olivia’s dad to be the subject of the conversation. “Yeah. Your dad. I thought you might wanna know about him. Now let me just reassure you right here, right now, I didn’t kill your dad.”
“You killed my mum.”
Danny tilted his head to one side. “You’re a feisty kid, aren’t you? Don’t bowl over to pressure too easy.”
He leaned forward, getting closer to Bouncer, closer to Olivia.
“Your dad’s a long way away. But let’s face it. He wasn’t born for this world—”
“My dad’s going to find me.”
Danny blinked hard. “Huh?”
“I said my dad’s going to find me. And he’s going to save me and Bouncer. And then he’s going to kill you.”
Danny couldn’t speak. He held his jaw agape. This girl actually had the cheek to stand up to him? The gall to say something like that to him? “Damn,” he said. “You really do have an attitude problem, don’t you?”
“I’m just telling the truth.”
“Yeah, well, I think it’s time I changed your relationship with the truth. Just a little.”
He grabbed Olivia’s hand and pressed his knife against the back of it.
“From now on, when you step out of line, I’ll cut you. Now, I won’t cut deep. Just a little. But they’ll be painful enough to remind you what happens when you misbehave.”
Danny went to press down the blade when he realised Olivia still wasn’t shaking anymore. She wasn’t begging him not to. She wasn’t even crying.
She was just sitting there, letting him do what he was doing.
And that lack of fear—that total defiance from someone her age—was truly frightening to Danny.
Because if Olivia could stand up to him, then what was to stop anyone else?
He pulled back the knife. He stood up. “Maybe we’ll let it go. Just this once.”
He grabbed Bouncer’s lead from one of his comrades and dragged him away from Olivia, heavily.
For the first time, he heard discontent from Olivia.
“Please. Please don’t hurt him.”
Danny smiled when he heard that. It felt like the order of things had been restored. “Oh, I won’t hurt him. Like I say, I love animals. Big dog lover. Used to have one, once upon a time. I’d hate to do anything to this handsome chap. So you be careful. You behave. And eventually, you’ll learn. Come on, boy.”
He dragged Bouncer out of the room where Olivia and the rest of the captives were being held, but he c
ouldn’t deny the bitter taste in his mouth.
The taste of being defied.
The taste of someone standing up to him.
He stepped into the dark night and left Bouncer with Rick and Dave to take to the kennels.
He took a deep breath of the night air.
Danny didn’t know it, but a storm was on the horizon.
That storm was just outside the gates of his town.
And his name was Will.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I waited until I was absolutely sure the coast was clear before stepping inside the village that Danny’s people ran.
It was pitch black and I was okay with that. I’d waited for darkness to fall before launching my attack. I didn’t have much in the way of weapons when I got here. A metal pipe that had been sharpened perfectly for situations like this.
But now I had a handgun, too. A handgun that the man I’d just taken down had dropped. Ammo from the second guy’s handgun.
I didn’t want to have to use the guns. I wanted to be much more subtle than that.
But finally, I was prepared to, if I had to.
I was prepared to do anything if it meant it’d help me get Olivia and Bouncer back.
The rain was sprinkling down. It made the wounds around my body sting. And I had a few wounds, that was for sure. Pierced skin where the barbed wire had been wrapped around me. A bleeding shoulder from where the throwing knife sliced past me.
I’d taken some shit. A lesser man might’ve given up when faced with the kind of adversity I’d been faced with.
Maybe even the old me would’ve given up.
But I was different now.
I accepted what I had to be if I wanted to survive this world, fully.
I had to be a savage.
Even if it wasn’t pretty.
I had to push myself to my absolute limits.
And that’s exactly what I was doing.
I looked back at the fallen bodies of the two men I’d killed on my way in here. In truth, there didn’t seem to be as many of these people as I’d expected. I’d been watching them for a long time. Sure, they were armed. They had walkie-talkies. And they had a couple of vehicles, too.
