by Laurie Paige
Drake nodded thoughtfully. “I’d like for you to show me how to take care of her, if you don’t mind. I figure I’d better start now in preparation for those times when she stays with me and I have to do everything.”
Stunned by the implications of this statement, Maya could only stare at him for a few seconds. She finally asked, “Are you planning on her living with you?”
“It’s traditional for fathers to get their kids during vacations and holidays, isn’t it?”
Maya could scarcely breathe, much less answer. “I—I suppose. Would you want to do that? A child is a lot of responsibility. You couldn’t go off—”
“I know that,” he said when she stopped, her thoughts in a muddle.
Maya finished the feeding session and they made their way silently back to the house. Drake carried the infant seat, diaper bag and her briefcase inside.
“Drake,” Teddy called, coming from the family theater over the five-car garage and clambering down the steps. “Can we do some roping now?”
“You have homework first,” Maya reminded them.
“Why do we always have to do dumb homework?” Joe Junior groused, following his brother.
“Because you did poorly on your math,” Drake answered. “Maya’s going to teach me to bathe Marissa. You two get your work done, then we’ll talk about roping.”
Joe wrinkled his nose in disbelief. “You’re going to give Marissa a bath? She’s just a baby.”
“Yeah, and a girl,” Teddy added, as if this were the crowning insult.
“I happen to like girls,” Drake told the younger boys with a grin. “Especially when they’re as pretty as their mama.”
His look of frank admiration produced the familiar longing. Flustered, she led the way to her room.
“Can we watch?” Teddy wanted to know, obviously curious about this aspect of adulthood. “Is it hard to give babies baths? Hey, maybe we can help.”
“You can powder her,” Maya promised.
She showed them the little plastic washbasin she used for the baby. “Stick your elbow in to test the temperature.”
Each male solemnly bared his elbow and checked the water. “Feels okay to me,” Joe said, going first.
The other two agreed it did.
She showed them how to undress Marissa, holding her head so it didn’t bobble and stripping the gown and diaper off. “Put your left arm under her head and hold on to her left arm. That way she can’t wriggle free when she’s all slippery with soap.”
She showed them how.
“Okay, we can take over now, can’t we, men?” Drake asked.
“Sure,” the boys said, full of confidence.
Maya, not at all sure this was the thing to do, sat in the rocking chair and watched the operation through the open door to the bathroom. With much discussion and some adult chuckling and little-boy giggling, they washed the baby, then powdered and dressed her.
Drake, she saw, was quite competent at the task. During the past six days, he’d watched everything she did, staying close to her and the baby during most of their waking hours. It was almost like being married.
Almost, but not quite.
Her heart clenched as she thought of the days and years ahead. If Drake was planning on making a place in his life for his daughter, that was good, wasn’t it? Didn’t it show he was willing to accommodate a family? Maybe she was being stubborn, as he said.
Sitting at her desk, she checked her e-mail and phone messages, then the boys’ papers from their day at school. By the time she finished, the guys were finished, too. The baby, with a wise stare at Maya, closed her eyes and went right to sleep when placed in her bassinet.
“She’s a good baby, isn’t she?” Drake said, watching his sleeping daughter.
“Yes.”
“Maya, was I a good baby?” Teddy demanded.
Maya grinned. “You cried all night, every night, for the first month.”
He laughed. “What about Joe?”
“He knew he’d found a good home from the first. He hardly ever cried. But when he did, look out! He could keep it up for hours.” She smiled, then gestured toward the other end of the room. “Now, homework.”
The boys took their places at each side of her desk and dutifully opened their books. Drake settled in the rocking chair with a magazine on parenting. Maya continued reading her book on childhood development. That was how Ms. Meredith found them when she came in.
“Well, if this isn’t the cozy family scene,” she said, pausing in the open doorway.
Maya stiffened at the sarcastic undertone, but she managed a calm smile. It didn’t do to let the other woman see that she could upset her.
“Hello, darlings,” Meredith went on. “Don’t you have a kiss for your mother?”
The boys leaped up from their homework and rushed to Meredith’s arms, where they were soundly kissed and petted. Their mother gave them each a bag of candy and permission to eat it. Maya refrained from mentioning dinner was less than two hours away.
Meredith questioned the boys extensively about their activities, lavishing attention on them as she hadn’t done in days. Or weeks, Maya thought. In fact, Ms. Meredith had seemed distracted, her temper more uncertain, since…since Joe’s birthday party.
Well, it must be pretty scary when someone took a shot at your husband. Anyone would be distracted.
However, Joe had been a U.S. Senator in the past. He’d struck it rich in oil long ago, then moved into other enterprises. A man in his position would make enemies no matter how nice he really was. People were jealous—
Another thought occurred to Maya. Ms. Meredith acted almost jealous of her own husband, not because of other women, but because their children obviously loved and respected their father. It struck Maya as very odd.
Recalling the conversation with Drake about his mother being different, she felt a chill creep along her scalp. What was going on in the Colton household?
At nine-thirty, Maya entered the living room where Drake, holding Marissa, talked with his father. He’d taken over the care of the baby while she supervised the boys’ baths and saw them to bed. The scene between father and son looked so peaceful, she hated to intrude.
“Excuse me. I thought I’d get Marissa now and put her to bed.” She hovered at the hall doorway.
“Come in, Maya,” Joe invited. “Won’t you join us for a few minutes? Men need the company of women to keep us up on our manners, don’t we, son?”
“Uh, right. Anything you say, Dad,” Drake agreed with wry humor.
He gave her a once-over that brought a glow to her face. She’d showered and put on a long skirt and top outfit in dramatic red and black that complemented her coloring, one she hadn’t been able to wear for five months. Tonight she felt attractive as a woman again.
Choosing an easy chair, she sighed as she relaxed, the many demands of the day at last over.
“Tired?” Joe asked kindly.
She hesitated about admitting a weakness, then nodded. “The longest the baby has slept at a time has been three hours. I didn’t realize waking several times during the night would be so draining.”
During the past week, she’d often wondered how her mother had made it, caring for this big house, planning and cooking meals, then keeping her own home clean and neat as well as taking care of a husband and two children. All her memories were of a happy, tireless woman who rarely got cranky or complained about all the work to be done. Maya didn’t think she was made of the same caliber stuff.
Then, having admitted fatigue, she worried that Joe would think she was neglecting her duties to his sons. “Joe and Teddy have been wonderful about helping with the baby. And getting their homework done without coaxing.”
“Good. If they give you any trouble, let me know.” The older man stared out at the dark patio, his expression frowning and thoughtful.
“Maya needs weekends off,” Drake said suddenly. “She works seven days a week. I’m pretty sure that’s against the lab
or laws.”
His father swung his head around, his eyes narrowed as he studied his son. Drake gave him a level stare.
“You’re right, son. Maya, my apologies to you. I’ve been so caught up in…other things, I’ve not paid much attention to the younger boys or the number of hours you’ve been putting in.”
“It’s okay,” she hastened to assure him. “Mom helps when I need it. That is, when she’s not busy in the house or with meals. And Dad, too, when he’s not working on the garden.”
She realized her whole family was beholden to the Coltons for their livelihood. By choice, though. Both her parents had been offered high salaries and other benefits by visitors to the hacienda who had seen their work.
“A family that plays together, stays together,” Joe murmured. “Working together is important, too, or just being there for each other.”
Drake cast a quiet glance her way, his gaze filled with dark thoughts that she sensed were painful.
“You were there,” she reminded him, “when Marissa was born. You helped…” She lost the thought as his perusal sharpened.
“But I wasn’t with you during the months before that.”
She sensed the criticism he directed at himself. He wasn’t a man who could easily brush off his failings. “You didn’t know. I’m sorry for not writing. I realize I should have. You had a right to know about the baby.”
His eyes locked with hers as golden threads of longing arced between them, reminding her of all the things she loved about this man. That he was honorable went without saying. That he was gentle and caring and considerate was also true. He took his responsibilities seriously.
Perhaps she was being stubborn and proud, thinking only of her own bruised feelings after reading that note.
There’s no place in my life for a wife and family.
Those words still caused an ache inside, indicating as they did that he’d only had a brief time for her as a lover, but nothing more. She shook her head slightly, denying the pain. Regret was a useless emotion unless it brought a change in future actions.
If she had been positive he loved her, she would have accepted his proposal and tried to help him with the past. However, she wouldn’t become an added responsibility, their lovemaking yet another mistake he had to atone for.
That was the unkindest cut of all, she mused, borrowing a phrase from Shakespeare. That he considered their time together a mistake, one that he would have to pay for in marriage and child support all his life, brought such a flurry of regret on her part that she wanted to put her head down and cry out her misery.
Of course she didn’t. Instead, she smiled and listened to the men chat about the various Colton projects and children, both natural and foster.
Marissa woke, stretched, then nuzzled Drake’s shirt. Not finding what she wanted, she screwed up her face and let out a wail.
“Here, Mom, I think this is your department,” Drake said with a smile. He brought the baby to her.
She rose, intending to go to her room, but Joe gestured for her to be seated.
“There’s something special about a mother nursing her child,” he said. “It brings out the most tender of feelings in men.”
“Yes,” Drake agreed. “And protective, too. Having a child puts things in a different perspective.”
Maya saw the two men exchange a look as she settled down to feed the hungry baby, who stopped crying as soon as she found the nourishment she wanted. When it was time to burp the child, Drake took Marissa from her, laid the baby across his knees and patted her back.
“She likes this position best,” he told his dad, sounding very much an expert on the subject.
“Michael preferred that one, too, but you always had to be up on my shoulder where you could see what was going on. You used to scrutinize everyone who came into the room. If you didn’t like their looks, you bellowed until they left.”
Maya laughed at this picture of the young Drake.
“You hear that?” Drake asked the baby in jest. “She’s laughing at your ol’ dad, kid.” He got up and brought Marissa back to Maya. As he laid her in Maya’s arms, the back of his finger brushed lightly against her breast. Flames shot to the spot, then swept outward to every point in her body. He must have felt it, too.
Immediately he moved away. “Sorry,” he murmured.
She nodded self-consciously, hating the blush she could feel invading her face.
Joe stood up. “You young people will have to excuse me. It’s been a long day, and I think I’ll go along to my room. There’s a report I need to look over before I go to bed.”
Maya echoed Drake’s “Good night” as the older man left them. She wondered if Joe thought they should be alone.
To work out their problems?
He was kind and thoughtful, but she didn’t want to be alone with Drake. It was too dangerous to her peace of mind. She shifted the baby to the other breast to finish feeding.
“I wish I had the right to touch you without apology,” Drake said, taking her by surprise.
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“If we were married, would I have to apologize for accidentally brushing against you?”
She didn’t answer as she helped the baby latch on. Wincing as her breasts gave that funny, almost painful, sensation—her milk coming down, her mother had told her—she slowly shook her head.
He snorted ruefully. “You had to think about it long enough before answering.”
“I wasn’t sure what to say. Even if we were married, I’m not sure what rights we would have…over each other,” she added.
“All the rights of a husband and wife to caress and touch each other and to enjoy each other’s company.”
“Physically?”
He became thoughtful. “That’s part of it, but not all. There’re other ways of sharing. Like now. I like watching you while our daughter nurses. It makes me remember touching you there and how much I enjoyed it. I know we can’t make love until the doctor checks you out, but I like thinking about it and how you responded. Those little breathy cries drove me wild.”
Aghast at his candid remarks, she gave him a repressive scowl. “I’m not going to continue an affair with you, Drake,” she informed him stoically, meaning it, yet afraid she wouldn’t be able to hold to that decision if he pursued her.
“I thought that was part of marriage.”
He gave her his most innocent look, which was totally belied by the sexy simmer in his eyes.
“Oh. Marriage.”
“Yes, marriage.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll not settle for less between us. Our daughter deserves a settled family life. As well as our other children.”
Maya gasped. “Are you suggesting… Do you think that I, that we…”
“Yes, we will.”
She could only stare at him in shock.
“It will happen. We’re too volatile together. There’s need and hunger and feelings between us. We’ve shared too much. I’ve told you about the ghosts that haunt me from the past. Is it fair to use that to keep me at a distance?”
Maya lowered her head, not sure what to say.
“Is it?” he persisted softly. “I’ve offered you a future with me as my wife. I want to help raise our child.” He paused, then went on quietly, “I want other children. With you. You’re the only woman I can see as their mother.”
“That’s not fair, Drake.”
“It’s true. You are my future. If you’re not it, then I don’t know what it will be. I’m tired of the dark, Maya. Give me the sunshine of your love, and I’ll pledge you my future, my love, anything you want. If you’ll but have me.”
The hot, desperate tears clawed at her throat. “A humble Drake?” she managed to say with only a slight tremor in her voice. “Is this the man we know and love?”
He slid a finger under her chin and gently lifted so that their eyes met. “I hope so,” he said sincerely. “We have a beautiful daughter. We’ve shared a great passion. Surely that’s
enough for a beginning.”
“Maybe.”
“Then, marriage?”
She shook her head. “I can’t. There’s something, a barrier…I can’t explain.”
He sighed. “Okay. I have to finish my present assignment. That will give us six months to discuss and plan for the future. I’ll call, and we can e-mail each other. Will you give me that time?”
Staring into his eyes, she nodded, not sure what she was promising.
“In the meantime, I want to be part of your life for the rest of my leave. Let’s relax and enjoy our baby.”
His mood changed, his grin becoming cocky and entirely too knowing when it came to her, but love, she found, was stronger than pride or fear or any other emotion. She had to take a chance and see where this might lead.
“All right,” she said.
He clutched his heart. “The lady agrees. I must be dreaming.”
She joined in his laughter, hearing a new note in it. No, not new, old—the old Drake of long ago.
Perhaps there was a future for them after all.
Twelve
“Where are you?” Patsy Portman, who had called herself Meredith Colton for ten years, demanded. “It’s about time you called.”
“I’m in Redding. I’ve got some news,” Silas Pike, who preferred to be called “Snake Eyes,” told her. “You want to hear it or not?”
“Of course I want to hear it! Have you found Emily?”
“Not exactly—”
Patsy huffed in exasperation. “I’m not sending you any more money.”
“Will you hold on to your horses and let me finish?” he demanded belligerently. “I found the trucker who picked her up, some hayseed driving a hay truck.”
He laughed as if he’d said something extraordinarily witty. Patsy rolled her eyes. “And?”
“He gave her a ride to Wyoming.”
“Big deal. We already suspected she was in Wyoming.”
Obviously considering himself a super-sleuth, Silas gave his little self-satisfied laugh. “Now we have proof. Some regulars in this truck stop recall her asking about some hick town of Needle Creek.”
