by Holly Martin
Seth moved his finger down my neck, then down to my waist, softly stroking my waist and hips, as he shuffled closer to me. I could feel his hot breath on my face. I stared into his eyes, and he cupped his hand round my neck, stroking the back of my head.
‘I thought I’d never see you again,’ Seth whispered as he tilted my chin up and kissed my neck under my chin. I closed my eyes, feeling his soft mouth caress my skin, peppering my throat, my chin, my cheek with tender kisses. I found his mouth in the darkness, and as his soft lips kissed me, not urgent, but gentle and loving, not fierce but passionate, my heart exploded with joy. My Seth had come back to me at last. And as he touched me, the fire that was my powers ripped through me, unbidden.
Later, as Seth went back to sleep, wrapped in the comforting, safe arms of my husband, I finally felt at peace enough to venture into my own dream world.
My dreams were weird. My vision was restricted somehow, like I was looking down a long cardboard tube. What I could see was distant. And it didn’t make any sense. I was staring at myself. It took a while to realise I was staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I looked pale, tired and thin. But I was laughing. I was staring at myself in the mirror and laughing loudly like a madman.
My reflection raised a hand and let it drop and I laughed louder. I raised the other hand and waved it above my head and I laughed. I watched as my reflection started hopping on one leg and I laughed hysterically, loudly, uncontrollably.
‘Brilliant,’ my voice said, though I knew then it wasn’t me saying it.
‘Eve?’ Seth said, from behind me.
I whirled away from my reflection and saw Seth standing in the bathroom doorway, looking at me warily.
‘You,’ hissed my voice, angrily, but again I knew I hadn’t said it.
‘Baby, you’re sleepwalking, come back to bed,’ Seth held out his arms for me and I immediately stepped forward to walk into them. But then I was stopped as if something was holding me back.
‘No,’ my voice growled, but somehow I knew the voice was addressing me rather than my husband.
‘Eve, what’s wrong?’ Seth asked, stepping forward towards me.
‘You, that’s what’s wrong. I should have just killed you when I had the chance. If it hadn’t been for you, she’d be dead by now. You messed everything up,’ my voice said, dripping with hatred.
Seth stopped, his eyes wide. I loved my husband, why was I saying these things to him. He looked so scared all of a sudden, I wanted to hold him, stroke him. But the unseen force held me back
‘Urgh, I can’t stand what she feels for you, it makes me sick, it’s like an addiction. Even standing this close to you now, she misses you, she aches for you, she wants to touch you, it’s pathetic,’ my voice said.
‘It’s called love Adam, something you would know nothing about,’ Seth growled stepping closer to me, his fists clenched.
Did Seth just call me Adam? This dream was getting weirder and weirder.
‘It’s not love. I know love. I love the feeling of my power ripping though me, I love it when the Guardians bow down to me. I love the taste of a steak, cooked rare and bloody. She doesn’t love you, she… she’s obsessed by you,’ said my voice.
Seth gave a small smile. ‘Why don’t you leave her and come inside me, then you’d know what an obsession feels like.’
‘You’d like that wouldn’t you, for me to leave her alone, but I quite like this mode of transport.’ I started hopping again and as I hopped I laughed.
‘Get out of her now, I swear if you don’t I’ll…’ Seth took a menacing step towards me.
‘You’ll what?’ my voice scoffed, though I felt my body take a step backwards away from Seth. ‘We both know you won’t raise a finger to hurt her, fortunately I don’t have that problem.’ With that I watched in horror as I turned and punched the wall with all my strength.
I screamed in pain, and this time the scream was mine. In that moment, as the bones shattered in my hand, I realised with a sick clarity, that I wasn’t dreaming, that what was happening was real. That Adam had somehow taken control of me, and I could only watch as an unwilling participant, as Adam pulled my strings, making me move like a puppet.
Adam laughed. ‘Oh she didn’t like that, did she, that scream was hers by the way, not mine.’
Seth took another step towards me. ‘Stop it, I won’t let you hurt her like this.’
Adam laughed again, as he turned my body back to the wall and head butted it hard. Pain vibrated through my head, down my spine. Adam took a step away from the wall and was about to head butt it again, when suddenly strong hands turned me round and pinned me by my throat against the wall. I had a split second feeling of panic, of fear as I stared into the vengeful eyes of my husband and then I felt Adam leave. I was alone in my body, again.
‘If you want to hurt her, you will have to fight me first. I will have to be dead before I let you hurt her again,’ Seth spat through clenched teeth.’
My head swam. ‘Seth he’s gone,’ I muttered weakly. ‘You scared him off.’
Seth hesitated for a second, then released me. My legs buckled under me and I crumpled to the floor. Seth caught me, swinging me up easily into his arms.
‘Evie?’
I nodded, closing my eyes for a second, feeling as if I had emerged from a hundred year sleep. Seth carried me back into the bedroom and lay me on the bed, then went back into the bathroom and grabbed a towel, wet it under the tap and came back and pressed it to my head. It was cool and soothing. I opened my eyes and looked into Seth’s worried ones.
‘Do you want me to get Cassidy to heal your hand and your head?’ Seth asked quietly, avoiding the obvious question.
I didn’t want to see anyone at the moment. I wondered idly if I could heal myself. I had never tried before. I was always under the impression that the Zekis healing powers couldn’t be used on themselves. But with my new found strength maybe it was possible. I looked down at one of my fingers bent at a weird angle. I reached across and snapped it back into position. I pictured a golden ball of light fusing the bone back together. Within seconds the pain had gone. I wiggled my fingers in front of my face and smiled. Good as new. I let my healing powers drift through my body, healing the wound on my head too.
Seth stared at me with amazement. ‘Did you heal yourself? That’s not possible.’
I shrugged as I curled myself up into Seth’s chest, closing my eyes against the horrible sense of dread and despair creeping up on me. I thought I had escaped the torture that Adam had inflicted on me for over a week, thought that it was over. But it wasn’t. Just because I wasn’t strapped to a table, with my powers blocked, didn’t mean he couldn’t torture me. He could enter my dreams and torture me there.
Seth pulled me tightly against him, but I could tell he wanted to talk about it. I didn’t. Right now I could pretend it was just a very bad dream. Talking about it would make it real. Hopeless, bleak, agonizing and real.
‘What happened Eve?’ Seth said gently.
I buried my face into his neck, breathing him in. He was real. I could focus on that.
‘Eve?’
I sighed. ‘It was real wasn’t it?’
‘Adam taking control of you? Yes, either that or you’ve finally gone mad,’ Seth joked, trying to make light of the situation.
I swallowed nervously. Maybe I had. Maybe the madness had finally taken me, just as Samuel had foretold. Maybe I had developed a split personality to help cope with the stresses of being the Sentinel.
Seth understood my silence. ‘No, it was definitely Adam. Could you hear what he said?’
I nodded. Then smiled. ‘He encapsulated my feelings for you perfectly, you are my addiction.’
Seth smiled, tilting my chin up to face him, he kissed me softly.
‘Did you have any control at all?’
I shook my head. ‘I thought I was dreaming. I could hear, see and feel what was happening to me, but I couldn’t control it. Like being in the
back seat of a car and watching it crash, but being powerless to stop it. It was only when he punched the wall that I realised that I wasn’t dreaming.’
Seth sighed heavily and the fear wrapped up in that sigh, mirrored my own feelings exactly. If Adam could now possess me and control me, then the possibilities he could do with me were endless. I would never be able to fall asleep ever again, in case Adam was there waiting for me.
But as I lay there wrapped tightly in Seth’s arms another feeling grew in my stomach, one that quickly overtook the despair, a feeling of a sick, all consuming grief. If Adam was still alive then Quinn was not.
I couldn’t help the tears that quickly brimmed over my eyes, and the sobs escaping my throat.
And Seth knew instantly why I was crying.
‘I know Eve, I’m sorry. I should have knocked him out, carried him away from the castle, I’m stronger than he is, I should have stopped him, I’m sorry…’
‘It’s not your fault, it’s mine, it’s all my fault. His mum died to create me, he orphaned himself from his dad because of me, he went with Adam to protect me, and died trying to avenge me. It’s all my fault.’
‘No baby, this isn’t you, it’s Adam, it’s all him,’ Seth protested, holding me tightly.
‘I never really told him how important he was to me… I told him I loved him, but I don’t think he knew what he meant to me…’ and I couldn’t utter any more words because the sobs overtook me.
And I lay like that for hours, sobbing for the brother I would never see again.
I lay numb in Seth’s arms as I watched the sun creep up over the horizon, and move slowly across the sky. Eventually as the sun began to begin its slow descent into the mountains, I sat up, my eyes puffy and swollen.
‘We need to tell my Guardians the latest development. Maybe they might have some idea how we can prevent it.’
I stood up woozily. I was so tired. I hadn’t slept properly since I had come back, and the week of torture certainly hadn’t been a restful period. I needed to wake up, I couldn’t risk going to sleep.
‘I’m going for a shower, will you explain to them about Adam?’
Seth nodded.
I closed the bathroom door behind me, not wanting to see the despair that I felt, on their faces as well.
I stepped into the water, trying to wash away the tiredness. I leaned my head against the cool tiles, but the immense exhaustion remained.
Eventually I turned off the water, wrapped my robe round me and padded out into the bedroom. My Guardians were waiting for me but their looks of despair didn’t fill me with any hope. I lay down on the bed, curling up against Seth.
‘I’m going for a shower,’ he said, kissing my head. ‘Then maybe we could go for a walk?’
I nodded.
Seth stood then hesitated. ‘You won’t go to sleep will you?’
‘I don’t think I could even if I wanted to,’ I said, weakly. My Guardians were there just in case I did.
Seth nodded and walked into the bathroom.
I curled myself tighter into a ball. I had known that Quinn was going to his death when he had run back into the castle to kill Adam, I had known then that I would never see him again. But there was a tiny glimmer of hope in me that maybe he would succeed. Now that glimmer had well and truly winked out. And now Adam was going to haunt my dreams. My future certainly looked bleak. I closed my eyes, trying to force a happy memory into my mind. My marriage to Seth, the happiest moment of my life. But that seemed so far away right now, I could barely picture it.
I trawled through my memories for something to cling onto, but then my memories shifted. I was running down my corridor and my Guardians were chasing after me. I saw the stairs leading up to the roof and I ran up them. I reached the roof and ran straight for the edge. But as I leaped up onto the small wall round the verge, I realised what was happening and somehow just managed to stop Adam from throwing my body over the side. I had fallen asleep again, and Adam had been waiting.
‘Eve come down from there,’ came Eli’s voice, close behind me.
‘I can’t bear it anymore,’ said my voice. ‘The torture, the death, Quinn, Adam, I can’t stand it. If I’m dead then I can’t be hurt anymore, no one else can be hurt because of me.’
Oh Adam was good. Suicide, that was clever.
‘Eve let’s talk about this, just come down from the edge and we can talk,’ Lucas said, gently.
‘Eve,’ I felt a gentle hand in mine. ‘We can help you, come on. I know it’s been a tough few weeks, but it will get better, I promise,’ Alexandria said.
‘Don’t touch me,’ my voice said, flinching away from her touch, my feet getting dangerously close to the edge.
‘Step away from her Alexandria, we don’t want to startle her,’ Eli said.
But Alexandria didn’t step away, she stepped up onto the edge next to me, but far enough away that she couldn’t grab me if Adam suddenly won the battle.
‘Eve, you saved my life, you tore me from the edge of death…’
Why couldn’t she do the same and grab me from the edge. I pushed with all my strength to regain control of my body. I could feel Adam in me, strong, angry, filled with hatred. But I was strong too and as much as he was fighting to throw me over the edge, I was fighting to step away from it. So we stood at a stalemate, frozen on the edge.
And Alexandria continued to coax me down, to persuade me from the suicide I so desperately didn’t want.
‘…I’m tied to you now, if you jump, then I’m jumping with you.’
I looked at her, and I knew it was me looking at her not Adam, and her eyes opened wide, with fear. She knew, she could see the fear in my eyes and she knew. Now she just had to beat Adam to it. She shuffled the tiniest of fractions closer to me.
‘Eve this is silly, you have a duty…’ Isaac started.
‘Shut up Isaac,’ Eli growled.
‘But…’
‘Shut up, or I’ll shut you up,’ Lucas hissed.
I smiled. I actually felt myself smile at this. Some things never changed.
‘What the hell is going on?’ That was Seth, and my heart soared. He would save me. But Adam was starting to get desperate, knowing he only had a few seconds before his attempt on my life was thwarted. He fought harder against me, and in my exhausted state, he was getting the upper hand. To my horror I felt myself leaning out further into the wind.
‘She wants to kill herself,’ Noah whispered.
I fought back, desperately trying to step away.
‘Seth don’t, if you startle her she might jump,’ Lucas said.
Alexandria shook her head frantically, shuffling closer.
I fought against the power in my mind, but I was powerless as my body leaned out even further, beyond the point of no return.
‘SETH NO!’ Eli roared.
A hand grabbed me painfully round my arm and snatched me so hard from the edge that I stumbled onto the floor. And with a groan of frustration in my ears, Adam left.
Hands were on my shoulders, yanking me to my feet, as I looked up into the livid eyes of my husband.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Seth roared.
But one look at my face told Seth everything he needed to know, as he pulled me tightly to his chest. ‘It was Adam, wasn’t it?’
I nodded as I clung to him.
Chapter 17
I sat on Seth’s lap in our room, his arms tight and protective around me, I leaned my head sleepily against his chest as my Guardians talked over me. Every time I started to fall asleep, Seth jerked me awake, looking at me apologetically every time he did it.
‘She needs to sleep,’ Seth insisted.
Eli shook his head. ‘It’s too risky.’
‘Look we know about Adam now, we’re more prepared, we won’t let her hurt herself again,’ Seth turned to me. ‘Go to sleep for a few hours, if Adam comes we’ll be ready.’
I shook my head. ‘It’s too dangerous, it might not be me I hurt next, it might be
you, or someone else.’
‘I won’t let you, you haven’t slept properly for over a week. You need sleep,’ Seth said.
‘We can have as many Guardians as you want watching you,’ Lucas tried.
I scowled at him. ‘That’s not at all creepy is it, the whole of my personal guard watching me sleep. Besides, the more people close to me, the more that can get hurt.’
‘What then Eve, are you just not going to sleep at all?’ Seth said.
I shrugged. I didn’t have any answers.
‘It’s just a bit of tiredness, it’s not the end of the world.’
‘Ridiculous,’ Seth muttered angrily. ‘Eve, will you trust me…’
Even Seth’s voice was getting further away now.
‘…I won’t let you hurt anyone, or yourself, I promise.’
My eyes were closing against my will but I forced them open.
‘Damn it Eve, let go.’
I fought vainly against him. ‘No.’
Seth kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes. He kissed beneath my ear. ‘You’re safe now, I promise, let go,’ he whispered. But it wasn’t my safety I feared for, so many people had died for me or because of me, I couldn’t bear it if any more died, especially if it was my hand doing the killing.
But my eyes refused to reopen, my body was limp. Seth kissed my neck, my chin, my nose, then each eye. And reluctantly, I let go.
*
I woke later from what seemed like a dreamless sleep, staring straight into the concerned eyes of my husband who was lying on top of me, pinning me to the bed.
‘It’s me,’ I whispered.
He didn’t release my hands. ‘How do I know?’
I leaned up and kissed him on the mouth. He remained immobile for a few seconds before he was kissing me back, his grip on my hands was released though he continued to lie on top of me for a few moments, wrapping his arms around me and holding me to him tightly.
Eventually he pulled away slightly and I sat up.
‘Did he try to take control?’
Seth nodded. ‘Twice. He woke up and struggled against me but gave up quite quickly when he realised I wasn’t going to let him go. He didn’t try to kiss me though. I think that would be a step too far even for him. Maybe we should have some kind of password though.’
