So she just might allow herself to fall for him...in a schoolgirl sort of way. And when they parted ways for Christmas—Molly sighed. She didn’t know what she was going to do then. But for now, this was enough.
“You’re looking serious about something,” Dylan said. “Want to talk about it?”
“It’s not that interesting.”
His expression didn’t change from polite interest, but she doubted he’d bought her disclaimer. His next question confirmed her suspicion.
“Want to tell me why you’re here?” he asked.
She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. There wasn’t any point. Dylan wanted to know why, after all this time, she’d looked him up and invited him on an adventure. She had appeared without warning, so she probably did owe him an explanation.
“Would you believe me if I told you I’d had a really bad week?” she asked.
“If it’s the truth.”
“Surprisingly, it is. Obviously something has pushed me to want to escape from the world.” She shifted, drawing her knees up toward her chest. She’d pulled off her shoes and socks and the sand was cold on her feet.
“I had the worst week of my life,” she said. “Starting last Monday. The thing that really gets me is that I had no idea what was coming. I guess it’s always like that. People go on doing the same thing day after day, then suddenly, it changes. With no warning.”
“We do tend to overestimate our ability to control destiny,” he said.
“Exactly.” Molly tucked a loose strand of hair behind her right ear. “What really bugs me is that I’ve lived such a small life. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I do now. I have a degree in business and I was an accounts receivable supervisor at a communications company. We were recently bought out by one of the really big firms. I found out last Monday that I’d been downsized.”
She took another sip of the Scotch. The fiery liquid burned down to her belly, where it warmed her from the inside. “The thing is,” she continued, “they’d interviewed me. I was supposed to have a job. Then my new boss called me into his office and gave me the information.” She thought about their conversation. “The creep wouldn’t even look at me. He said they’d changed their minds and that they were letting me go. At least the compensation package was decent. I have six months’ pay sitting in my savings account. What really frustrates me is that I’d turned down two other job offers when I thought the new company wanted to keep me. Of course both those other jobs are filled now.”
“Sounds like a difficult situation. Do you think you’ll have trouble finding another job?”
“Not especially. I mean there are no guarantees.” She shrugged. “That wasn’t all that happened that week.”
He stretched out his long legs in front of him and crossed them at the ankle. “Go on.”
She felt like a character in a bad movie, with too many troubles and nowhere to go.
“On Tuesday my fiancé—” She shook her head. “Make that my ex-fiancé called me from Mexico. It seems that he and his assistant had been working late hours in the past couple of months. One thing led to another and they ran off together to Mexico. Grant hoped I would understand.” Molly felt herself getting tense. Her chest was all tight and she found it hard to breathe. She had to force herself to consciously relax her muscles. “He said he wanted to let me know as soon as it happened, because he valued honesty in all his relationships. Oh, and he called me collect.”
“The guy’s obviously low-life scum.”
“My thoughts exactly.” She downed the last of her drink. “I gave up Thanksgiving with my nieces because he had to work. I had a turkey thawing in the fridge when he flew off with his secretary. After he dumped me, I couldn’t bring myself to drive to Janet’s.”
She was actually pretty proud of herself. She’d managed to get through all of it without even a hint of tears. Of course there was no way she was going to tell Dylan what had happened to her on Wednesday of that infamous week.
She couldn’t talk about it with someone like him. There was no way he would understand. He was just too perfect.
“There’s more isn’t there?”
He asked the question in a low, caring voice. His perception both startled and frightened her. She probably could have handled it all if he hadn’t looked as if he were really worried. Her eyes began to burn and she blinked frantically.
“Isn’t that enough?” she said, trying to make herself sound amused. “Or are you out for blood?”
“I’m not out for anything, just sensed there was more. But you’re right. That’s plenty.”
“Exactly,” she lied. “So I decided to get away for a while. I wanted to regroup, think things through. Maybe come up with a plan. I’ve always played it safe in my life, made what I thought were sensible choices. In the end it doesn’t matter. No matter what you do, how careful you are, life can still jump up and bite you in the butt when you least expect it. That’s why I’m hiding away for a little while, so I can lick my wounds. I’m not brave like you.”
Dylan rose to his feet, grabbed the bottle of Scotch and settled next to her. “I’m many things, Molly, but brave isn’t one of them.”
Suddenly he was too close and she could inhale the scent of him. She had to concentrate to get a complete sentence out. “Sure you are. Look at all you’ve done with your life. You weren’t afraid. You saw what you wanted and you went after it. I admire you a lot.”
“Don’t bother. It’s easy to be brave when you don’t have anything to lose.”
He didn’t touch her, which was both good and bad. In a way she wanted him to take her in his arms and swear that he would always love her. The thought nearly made her giggle.
Her humor restored, she decided her crush on Dylan was going to be a good thing for her.
They sat in silence for a while. After Dylan poured her more Scotch, she continued to sip the dark liquid. She didn’t feel the need to talk or to explain herself. That freedom was a pleasant change. With Grant, silences had made her nervous.
The night continued to close around them. Maybe the rest of the world had disappeared and they were the only ones left. The thought gave her the courage to voice something she’d been wondering about ever since she first saw him.
“I have a question,” she said.
“I might have an answer. Fire away.”
“It’s about Janet. Are you sorry things didn’t work out?”
Dylan stretched his arms above his head, then sank back against the log. “If you’d asked me that the day of her wedding, I would have told you yes. I really thought I loved her. It nearly killed me to watch her get married to someone else.”
Molly told herself it was no more than she expected, but it still hurt to hear his confession. “I see.”
He glanced at her. “The thing is, six weeks after I left town, I was on my knees thanking God for my escape. I guess I should have been more grateful that Janet had had the good sense to let me go. We were kids. It was fun then, but we didn’t belong together. I see that now.”
“You don’t miss her?”
“Not really. I took off, determined to show her I could be somebody. That quickly turned into proving the idea to myself. Janet was the catalyst for my leaving town, and I’m glad. But I wouldn’t change the past. With the hindsight of an adult, I don’t think Janet and I really loved each other. It was a kid thing.”
That made her feel a little better. Better that he’d gotten over her sister. After all, Janet was happily married. Besides, it would really annoy her if Dylan was still in love with her sister.
“When you left you started racing motorcycles, right?” she asked.
“Eventually. First I drove up to Tahoe. Decided I wanted to see snow at Christmas.”
“How was it?”
“Cold. Wet. Slick. No
t ideal when you’re riding a bike and don’t have money for a pricey motel room.”
Still, she could tell by the glint in his eye that he remembered the experience as an adventure, and she felt a fresh tug of regret at how safely she had lived her life up to now.
“I’ve never seen snow,” she mused. “Isn’t that awful? I’ve always wanted to, but I never made the decision to actually go somewhere to see it.”
“Yet,” he said.
“I don’t know what I was waiting for.” She shook herself out of her thoughts. “So. After that Christmas, you got into racing?”
“I was just a fool on a bike. More heart and courage than talent. After a while I figured out I was better at designing than racing.”
“Did you win with your bike or just with the women?” she asked, teasing him.
He grinned. “I did do a little better with the ladies. That checkered flag was always elusive. To be honest, the women hurt a lot less than the crashes.”
That sobered her. “You were hurt?”
“A couple times.” He shrugged. “It comes with the business.” He leaned close. “Tell you what, Molly. I’ll show you my scars if you’ll show me yours.”
She knew in her head he couldn’t understand what his words would mean to her, but she still felt as if he’d slapped her across the face. An unexpected sob burst from her. She covered her mouth as she stumbled to her feet. She had to get away. Now! How had he known? she wondered.
She didn’t bother to ask. She just turned toward the darkness and ran.
Chapter Five
Dylan stared after Molly until she disappeared into the night. What had just happened? What had he said? Then he figured it really didn’t matter. It was dark on the beach and she was alone. He hadn’t meant to say anything to upset her, and the tight knot in his gut told him he would make damn sure not to do it again.
He scrambled to his feet and headed after her. There was just enough light from the moon to make out her shape. She’d stopped by the surf and was crouching. To disappear, he wondered, or just to hold in the pain?
The sound of her sobs was muffled by the crash of the waves on the shore, but he could still hear the heartwrenching cries. His gut tightened a little more. He cursed himself. Obviously she’d misunderstood his crack about sharing scars. She probably thought he was making light of her being dumped by her fiancé. The man was a bastard, he thought grimly. Any guy who would do something that incredibly low was the worst kind of scum. She was better off without him, although he doubted she would believe that today. In time she would see that she was lucky to have escaped—but for now, she was in pain and he was the reason.
“Molly, I’m sorry,” he said, coming up behind her and touching her shoulder.
She flinched. “I’m fine. Go away.”
“You’re not fine and I’m not going away. I didn’t mean anything by what I said. I was teasing, but I can see how you’d take it wrong. I didn’t mean to be a jerk.”
She shook her head. He didn’t know what that meant. Was she dismissing his apology, or telling him it didn’t matter? Not knowing what else to do, he pulled her to her feet and drew her close.
She stood still, not relaxing against him but not resisting, either. He wrapped his arms around her. Another sob shook her.
“Hush,” he murmured. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. That’s the whole point. I just don’t think I can get through this.”
He wasn’t sure what the “this” was. Her job? Grant? “We’ll get through tonight together,” he told her. “Don’t worry about tomorrow, okay? Let that take care of itself. Just deal with tonight.”
He placed one hand on the back of her head and urged her to rest her cheek against his shoulder. She was a little thing. He was used to tall women who came close to looking him in the eye. He sort of liked how Molly was smaller. She was soft, too. As he rubbed her back, he felt pliant skin and muscle, not ribs. Both their jackets were open and her breasts pressed against his chest. They were as he’d imagined them when he’d been thinking about her riding with him on the bike. Warm and soft, full curves that seemed to burn into him.
The need swept through him, a wanting he could only endure as heat and blood rushed into his groin. But he didn’t press himself into her, didn’t want her to know that his thoughts had turned passionate. Mostly because through it all, he could still feel the waves of pain rolling off her. She needed so much more than he had to offer.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, because he couldn’t think of any other words.
“Don’t be,” she told him, and sniffed. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But I—”
She raised her head and stared at him. In the soft light of the moon her face was pretty, he realized with some surprise. Light glinted off the tracks of her tears.
“It’s okay, Dylan,” she told him. “You were just teasing. I overreacted.” She wiped her face with the back of her hand. “I’ll make you a deal. You stop feeling bad and apologizing and I’ll stop crying. How’s that?”
Her eyes were large, a hazel brown that in the night were simply dark and mysterious. He had the oddest sensation that he could get lost in those eyes, drown a happy man in those depths. He wanted—no, he needed—to be close to her. In her, not in the sense of making love, although that would be nice, too, but inside the person, a part of who she was.
The longing was as strong as it was unexpected. He didn’t understand it and that should have scared the daylights out of him. But oddly enough, it didn’t. When he couldn’t figure out a way to crawl inside and be one with her, he did the next best thing. He kissed her.
Molly had plenty of warning. At least she would have if she’d really thought he was going to do what it looked like he wanted to do. One minute Dylan had been hugging her, comforting her as one comforts a hurt child. The next thing she knew, his hands were cupping her face and he was moving close. In that heartbeat she could have pulled back or protested. But she hadn’t really thought he was going to kiss her. After all, this was Dylan and she was just, well, Molly.
His mouth touched hers. She half expected the world to jerk to a halt as the rotation of the planet jumped in shock. When that didn’t happen, she waited for Dylan to realize who she was and what he was doing. Once he figured that out, he would draw back in disgust. But he didn’t. Instead he kept his lips pressed against hers. The warm, firm contact jolted her clear down to her feet where her toes curled into the cold sand.
She swallowed, not sure what to do. A scream built up inside, but she suppressed it. This was not the time for screaming. She felt a little awkward standing there like that, with her hands trapped between their bodies. Had he really meant to kiss her?
He must have, she told herself. He was still cupping her face, his touch all tender, as if she were someone who really mattered to him. She realized her eyes were closed, so she opened them and was stunned to see his eyes were closed. Oddly enough, that made the kiss even more intimate, although she wasn’t exactly sure why.
His mouth moved. For a panicked heartbeat, she was afraid he was going to pull away. He didn’t. Instead he moved his lips back and forth before gently pressing the tip of his tongue against her bottom lip.
Molly’s heart lurched. She actually felt the organ give a giant jump-shudder in her chest. Flames ignited all over her body as heat flooded her. She felt herself begin to tremble and she had to move her hands to hold on to his waist so she wouldn’t fall. It was magic—no, better than magic because it was real. This was actually happening to her. Here on the beach, Dylan was kissing her.
He buried one of his hands in her hair. The action caused her head to tilt slightly. He adjusted himself so they were still kissing, then his mouth opened against hers.
She responded without thinking, parting her lips, then telling herse
lf she was a fool. He wouldn’t want to kiss her that way. Would he?
Apparently he would.
She felt the first caress of his tongue against the inside of her lower lip. Her breath caught. Then he delved into her mouth. He tasted of Scotch and sin, flavored with some unique sweetness that had to be the essence of him. She allowed herself to sag against him, to let him support her while he worked his exquisite perfection in her mouth.
All of her body reacted to the kiss. Her breasts swelled, then ached for his tender touch. Her skin felt sensitized to even the slightest brush of cloth or air. Low in her belly, the wanting began like a steady hum of need.
This was not the brief kiss he’d given her all those years ago. This wasn’t a kiss between friends. This was a kiss from a man to a woman, a kiss of passion and promise. The only question was why.
He pulled back enough to whisper her name, then trailed kisses down to her jaw. From there he traced a damp line to her ear. She quivered as he nibbled, taking her lobe in his mouth and tickling it with his tongue. Involuntary shivers rippled through her. She pressed closer to him, wanting more, wanting him never to stop. What did the whys matter? For this moment, it was enough that she was alive and could feel.
She pressed against him. As she did, he shifted a little. In the back of her mind, reality intruded. Thoughts formed, and though she tried to ignore them, they persisted.
They were not touching below the waist. She moved closer again and he stepped back. Again. There was something he didn’t want her to lean against. Why?
And then she knew. The truth was cold and brutal and it nearly ripped out her heart. None of this mattered to him. He didn’t want her to press against him only to find out he wasn’t the least bit turned on by what they were doing.
The pain was so intense it took her breath away. Still, pride was stronger. She had to get out of this situation so she could be alone. Once in her room, she would figure out how to survive the humiliation and find the courage to face Dylan again. Or maybe she would just pack up her stuff and run.
The Christmas Wedding Ring (Hqn) Page 7
