She braced her head on her hand and stared at him: “You’ve changed me,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m less afraid. I feel stronger.”
That had nothing to do with him. “You did that all on your own. I was just along for the ride.”
She shook her head. “You’re so wrong, Dylan. I wouldn’t have made it without you. You got me to believe in myself and I don’t think I ever have before. You helped me see the possibilities. I know I can get through whatever I have to deal with.” Her smile turned shy. “You’ve made me feel pretty and I would have assumed that was impossible.”
He leaned down and kissed her. “You are pretty. If you can’t see that, go have your eyes checked. You obviously need glasses.”
She chuckled. “You make me laugh and sometimes that’s been the best gift of all.” Her humor faded. “You’ve given me the courage to do what I have to so I won’t have regrets. I’m going on with my life. I can do that, all because of you.”
He touched her cheek. “You don’t know how much I want to claim credit, but I can’t. You did that on your own, Molly. Believe in yourself. I believe in you.”
“That’s a hard one. Tell you what. I promise to continue to make the right choices so that I don’t ever have regrets. And I promise, when I get scared or start doubting myself, that I’ll ask what you would tell me to do. Then I’ll do it.”
She was so earnest, and so honest, cutting right to the heart of the matter. He didn’t know when he’d ever respected anyone as much.
“Okay. I promise to take more adventures,” he said. “I’ll ride my bike every week. I’ll take time for what’s important.”
“Promise me you won’t spend Christmas by yourself,” she said. “If you won’t accept one of your friend’s invitations, maybe you should come with me to Janet’s.”
He pulled her hard against him. “You’re sweet, but I don’t think your sister or her husband would be too excited about that. But I don’t want to lose touch.”
She hugged him. “Me, either. Promise me that won’t happen.”
“That I can promise.”
Emotions flooded him. He didn’t dare identify them because he couldn’t do anything once he knew what they were called. So what if his feelings had changed and grown? Molly had to make her own way, without him. He would only hold her back.
He felt the familiar wanting fill him, but he resisted the urge to make love. They had already been intimate once that day and he didn’t want her to get sore. Instead he smoothed her hair out of her face.
“You haven’t checked your voicemail,” he said.
“I know, but it’s Saturday. There isn’t going to be anything from the doctor.”
“You never know. Go on. Check. Then we’ll finish the game.” He glanced down at his marker, several spots behind hers. “You know, I’m letting you win.”
She pushed on his shoulder. “Oh, please. Like I believe that.” She stood up and crossed to the kitchen counter where her phone was charging. “Actually, Dylan, I’m not the only one who should make a call. Two days ago you said you needed to check in with your office and you haven’t. Don’t you wonder what’s going on?”
Not anymore, he thought. The company and the buyout offer weren’t real to him. Not since Molly. But he supposed he should phone and make sure there hadn’t been a major crisis. “All right. You want to go first?”
She shook her head. “You call. I’ll wait.”
As she handed him his phone, he wondered if she was putting off the inevitable, just in case it was bad news. For the hundredth time, he wished there were a way to make it easier for her. If he could take her fear and even her illness on himself, he would.
He punched in the familiar number for his voicemail.
The computer said he had several messages waiting.
“How many?” Molly asked as he entered his private code.
“Eight.”
“Oh, all the ladies are missing you.”
“To quote you, ‘Yeah, right.’ There aren’t any ladies, unless you want to count yourself.”
She sat next to him and leaned her back against the sofa. “A fan club of one.”
“Are you my fan?”
She rested her head against his shoulder. “Always, Dylan.”
Her words produced a warm glow inside him. Maybe they could make love slowly so he wouldn’t have to worry about her becoming sore. Later, he promised himself as the first message began.
He recognized Evie’s voice. “My secretary,” he said as he listened. She yelled at him for not calling. For all she knew, he was lying dead in a ditch somewhere, and if so, she hoped it had been a slow, painful death. Then she mentioned a couple of non-pressing issues and said that his attorney had been calling to talk about the buyout offer. The remaining messages were more of the same, including one from his attorney begging him to at least take a look at the offer. Apparently the large motorcycle company had delivered it sometime last week.
He left Evie a quick voicemail telling her that he was fine and would be in touch soon, then he hung up.
“News?” Molly asked.
“Nothing important. The other company is really pushing for the merger. They’ve sent an initial offer to my lawyer and he wants me to take a look at it.”
“Are you going to?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I still can’t decide if I’m going to sell out or not.” He glanced at her. “What do you think?”
She tilted her head. “It doesn’t cost anything to look. If you don’t like what they have to say or decide you want to keep sole control of Black Lightning, you can always tell them thanks but no, thanks.”
“Good point.” He thought about the logistics. “Would you mind if I had him send me the package here?”
“Of course not.”
“Would you look at it with me?”
She blushed. “If you want me to. I don’t know that I can be any help.”
“Of course you would. You have a degree in business. Besides, I’d like your opinion of the offer.”
“Sure.”
He called his attorney’s home and left a message there, telling the man to send the offer to him. Then he indicated the phone in Molly’s hand. “Your turn.”
“This is a complete waste of time. The doctor isn’t going to call on the weekend.” She held out a hand before he could say anything. “I know, I know. If it makes you happy, I’m glad to do it.” She pushed the button to access her voicemail. After a couple of seconds, she frowned. “There’s a message.”
He sat up. Fear knotted his gut. Dear God, please don’t let it be bad.
Molly listened intently. He couldn’t read much from her face. There was no elation, but there also wasn’t any panic or even resignation. Finally she pushed a button to end the call and stared at him.
“You’re never going to believe it,” she said. “That was my boss, Harry. Actually, he would be my ex-boss. He said that the company has reevaluated the situation and they want me to come back to work for the firm. Not only that, they’re offering me a promotion and a raise.”
Relief filled him. She was all right—at least for now. “You sound more confused than happy.”
“I guess I am. I never thought about going back there. I didn’t hate my job, but it wasn’t wonderful. I’m still kind of annoyed at how they handled the situation.”
“You’ve got some money. You don’t have to make a decision tonight.”
“You’re right. I couldn’t anyway. I can’t do anything until I hear from the doctor. I mean, if the news is bad—”
“I know.”
She leaned against him and sighed. “I never thought I’d hear from them. Life certainly takes unexpected turns.”
“I agree.”
Three weeks ago, he would have had a hard time remembering who Molly Anderson was. Now he couldn’t picture his world without her.
“Everything is on hold until I get the results of one slide. Isn’t that incredibly strange?”
He tucked her head into the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”
“Me, too, but I’m glad we’re together. There isn’t anyone else I would rather do this with than you. You’ve made the waiting a lot easier.”
“That’s because I care.”
She hugged him close. “Thank you for that. Not many men would be willing to go through this.”
“You’re wrong. They’d go through a lot more if you were the prize.”
He would go to hell and back if it would help her. Instead, all he could do was hold her and wait.
Chapter Thirteen
Late Monday afternoon Molly set the cellular phone down on the counter. As she’d learned over the past few years, life was nothing if not a constant surprise. She just wasn’t sure what to make of this latest one.
“From the look on your face, you haven’t heard from the doctor,” Dylan said.
She shook her head. “No, but there was another message from my boss, Harry.”
“He still wants you back?”
“Yes.” She frowned. “I don’t understand. Apparently it’s very important to them. He’s offering me a larger starting salary and a bigger office.”
Dylan stretched in his chair and grinned at her. “Great. If you hold out for a little longer, you can squeeze some stock options out of them.”
She crossed the worn linoleum floor and took her seat.
They were at the small table in the corner of the kitchen.
She rested her chin on her hands and looked at him. “That’s what’s so weird. I’m not saying that I didn’t do a good job—I did. I ran a strong department. Everything was always organized. I worked with purchasing to get the best deals, the most beneficial payment plans. I was a good employee. But I wasn’t extraordinary. It’s not as if I was the sales manager and with me gone they’re losing their biggest clients. This is strictly internal.”
“Why are you complaining?”
“I’m not. I’m just confused.”
“Businesses often get overly zealous when they purchase and downsize. I would guess that old Harry let too many people go. Now he’s scrambling to get a few of them back. Obviously he considers you worth quite a bit to the company.”
Dylan’s points made sense. Harry had been on a pretty vigorous slash-and-burn when the merger went through. She’d been the one to prepare a memo on the virtues of waiting to see how the business would be affected by the change in ownership before they started to eliminate personnel. Harry had thanked her for her opinion, then proceeded to toss the document in the trash. Looked like he’d had to read it after all.
She smiled. “It’s very nice to suddenly be popular.”
“I’ll bet. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. For now—nothing. It’s not even about my job. That was fine. Not the greatest in the world, but not hideous, either. I might think about going back, but I’m not making any decisions until I hear from the doctor.”
He stroked a finger up and down her forearm. “That’s wise.”
She liked that he didn’t try to pretend everything would be fine. Being with Dylan made her realize that she’d never really trusted Grant. Until he’d broken off their relationship, she hadn’t seen that she’d been living in anticipation of the other shoe dropping. She’d been furious and hurt by his reckless behavior, but she couldn’t truthfully say she’d been complete shocked. On the surface he had it all, but underneath the slick exterior, he was self-centered and shallow.
Her only regret was that it had taken his leaving for her to see the truth. What if she’d hadn’t seen it and they’d gotten married? She shuddered at the thought. She would never have wanted to have children with that man. He would be a horrible father. It was, she acknowledged, better for everyone that he was out of her life.
So out of her three crises, she was down to two—the lump and her job. “I promised myself not to have regrets,” she said. “I don’t want to forget that lesson. Even if the news from the doctor is good, I don’t want to go back to my old way of doing things. I played it safe all the time and lived only half a life. I deserve more than that.”
“There’s not a doubt in my mind that you’re going to start kicking butt,” he said.
His expression matched his words. He believed in her and her ability to change. That was only one of a hundred reasons why she loved him. And love him she did. Even though they only had a short time left together before Christmas, even though he would return to his world and probably not give her much thought, she was still glad to know the truth. Loving him was the best part of her. Loving him made her willing to take chances, to really live. If the lesson of all that had happened in her life was to bring her to this moment, to loving, then it was worth it.
She straightened and slapped her hands on the table. “Enough about me,” she said. “What about this offer of yours? I still can’t believe someone from your office drove it up this morning.”
He shuffled through the thick sheaf of papers that had arrived while they were at lunch. “I don’t know. It looks good. My attorney thinks I should agree. There are several reasons to accept their offer and very few reasons not to.”
“But?” she prompted.
He shrugged. “You tell me. The numbers are in place. My employees’ jobs are protected for five years. There’s no reason to turn down this offer.”
“Of course there is. There must be several—otherwise you wouldn’t be sweating it. How much control will you maintain?”
“I’ll run a division that will be strictly custom design. Any innovations belong to them and can be applied to their stock bikes.”
“You’d lose out on any patents, right?”
“Sure,” he said. “But that’s standard in industry. If you invent something while in the employ of a company, the invention belongs to them. After all, you’re using their resources, their facilities and they’re paying you for your time.”
“Would that bother you?”
He reflected for a couple of minutes. “I don’t think so. I’ve had to put a lot of ideas on the back burner. Some of the problem is time. I’m taking care of a lot of day-to-day issues that suck up the hours. I don’t have as much capital as I would need, or if I have it, I think it would be better spent somewhere else. If I sold to them, I would have a generous design budget and not have to worry so much about making the payroll.”
“You’d also be financially secure for the rest of your life.”
“There is that,” he said, and leaned back in the chair. He swore softly. “Sometimes I feel like just flipping a coin.”
Molly looked at him. His dark hair gleamed in the overhead light. He was the most handsome man she’d ever met. She knew in her head that she was really sitting in this kitchen with him, that they were talking about something important and that he valued her opinion. She also knew that later that night they would go into the bedroom and make love. He would kiss her and hold her and touch her in ways she’d never even imagined. She knew that they would talk and laugh. She had physical proof that all this was happening.
But in her heart it was a very different matter. She wanted to laugh and run around the room shouting from the happiness of it all. If this was a dream, then she was determined to savor every second of it. If this was denial or a mental breakdown, then she would cling to it for as long as possible. It was so incredible that this was happening to her, and Dylan Black was the man making it happen. Dylan! After all this time!
“Tell me what you think,” he said. “What should I do?”
“I can’t make up your mind for you.”
“I know. Let me rephrase the question. Tell me what you would do if you were me. I really want to know. Not only because you’ve got a great head for business, but her cause I know you’re genuinely concerned about me.”
Both his compliments filled her with a warm glow. She rested her elbows on the table and leaned toward him. “It comes down to choosing between financial security and professional freedom. Which is more important to you?”
“They both look good.”
“You’ve always been a free spirit,” she reminded him. “Are you ready to start taking orders from someone else?”
“Excellent question.”
“Do you have an equally excellent answer?” she asked.
“Not yet.”
“There are reasons to do it either way. I know it would be a whole lot easier if all the positives came down on one side, but life doesn’t work that way.”
“Tell me about it.” He reached across the small table and took her hand in his. “Thanks for listening,” he said. “You’re a good friend.”
There was something in his eyes. Something that, if she’d been a risk taker, she might have dared to call affection. Romantic affection. But she wasn’t sure and she didn’t dare ask. She also didn’t dare tell him about the love filling her. Love for him.
She was torn between her promise to herself not to have any regrets and her not wanting to put Dylan in an uncomfortable position. He’d been very good to her. He’d made her feel special and wonderful. She didn’t want to repay that by trying to force something that wasn’t meant to be. Dylan was a kind and gentle man. She didn’t doubt that he cared about her, but caring wasn’t love.
So she held in the feelings and the words. Maybe there would come a day when she would have the courage to be honest. But not now.
* * *
Dylan turned slowly in the shower, then rinsed the shampoo from his hair. It was the first shower he’d taken alone in several days and he missed Molly’s presence. However, he’d been the only one chopping firewood after dinner, so he’d been the only one to get sweaty. She’d offered to join him and wash his back, but he’d declined. They were going to sit by the fire and watch Love Actually, which she said was a Christmas tradition for her. He was determined to go at least a couple of hours without taking her to bed. He didn’t want her to think that was all he cared about.
The Christmas Wedding Ring (Hqn) Page 18
