“These couple of weeks did what they were supposed to do. We both had the chance to escape our worlds and figure out what we wanted.”
Molly closed her eyes. Maybe Dylan had decided, but she was as confused as ever. As he’d said, one by one the pieces of her life had been restored. She should be thrilled. While she was delighted to find out that her lump wasn’t anything to worry about, the rest wasn’t so easily resolved. “Thank you for getting me through this,” she said, and to her dismay began to cry.
Dylan reacted by holding her tighter. “It’s all right,” he murmured. “You’re going to be just fine.”
She was, of course. She would survive. But she wanted it to be with him. She wanted the magic to continue. Still, she had no right to hold him against his will. He had been so incredibly generous with her—she could do no less.
He brushed his lips against her forehead. He whispered, “It’s time for us to go back.”
The tears flowed faster. “I kn-know,” she stammered. Time to go home and pick up the pieces. Time to make decisions. But not tonight. Tonight was for them.
“Hold me,” she said. “Don’t let me go. Not until the sun comes up.”
“I promise.”
She continued to cry, wondering how the moment could be so perfect and so incredibly sad at the same time. They had come so far together and they had gone nowhere.
“I don’t want to lose touch,” Dylan said. “I mean that, Molly. I want more than just a card at the holidays.”
“Me, t-too.” She drew in a breath and tried to slow the tears. “I want you to be very happy.”
“I will be. You’re going to have great kids. I want to meet all of them.”
Kids. She wanted children, but only with Dylan. He would be, she realized, a fabulous father. “Yours, too,” she said. “I mean I want to meet them.”
“I’m not the marrying kind.”
There wasn’t any more hope, so his words barely hurt.
Of course. She’d known that from the beginning. But that hadn’t stopped her from loving him.
No regrets, she reminded herself. Even knowing what she did at this minute, with her heart breaking and her soul battered, she wouldn’t go back and change a thing. She wanted to ask him if they could try to make it work, if maybe there was a chance, but she already knew the answer. Oddly enough, despite the pain, she could live with that. It was okay that he didn’t love her back. Loving him had been enough. She’d given with a full heart and she’d kept her promise to herself. She could never regret what they’d shared. Every Christmas for the rest of her life, she would pull out her memories of this special time with the man who had helped her to believe in herself.
* * *
Dylan took the long way back, turning off the 101 freeway onto the 126, which would take them through several small towns and acres of orange groves. He knew he was delaying the inevitable, but even an extra half hour with Molly was something he would treasure.
Their trip home was different from their ride out to Carpenteria. Now he was used to the heat of her pressed against him. The shape of her, the soft pressure of her thighs around his rear, the weight of her hands on his waist. She still turned him on. But more important, she’d taught him to care.
He didn’t just want her—he liked and respected her. He admired her courage and her honesty. He wanted to be with her. He knew he was going to miss her after she disappeared from his life. He wondered how long it would take to get over her.
Was that love? He didn’t have the answer to the question. He’d never been one to believe in love. That was for other people, if it existed at all. No one had ever loved him. He’d never loved another person. It shouldn’t be any different with Molly. Yet it was.
He could imagine wanting to be with her for the rest of their lives. The world was a brighter place because she was in it, and he wanted to share in the light and the colors. She made him feel things he’d never felt. She made him think about a real home that he shared with someone. She made him think about staying up late with her to put together bicycles for their kids to wake up to on Christmas morning.
He swallowed. That was a new one. Children. Was he really considering being a father? He didn’t know how to be a parent. No one had ever parented him...well, a few people had tried, but they hadn’t been successful. He didn’t think he was up to the responsibility of raising a human being from birth. The thought terrified him. But with Molly around, it wouldn’t be so bad. He knew she would keep him from doing something too horrible.
Was that love? Was wanting to have a child with her more than just affection? She was so special to him. He would have done anything for her. He still would.
As they drove down the road and through the valley, he thought about asking her to stay for Christmas and beyond. Even if it was just for a while. The house was big enough. She could have her own room if she wasn’t comfortable staying in his. Maybe she could find a job out by him, or even come to work at his company.
He shook his head. He was dreaming. These fantasies had no place in reality. Molly had her own life. She was going to spend Christmas with people she loved, and then she had a career with a company that would do just about anything to get her back. Even if he dared to ask, she would be crazy to consider his offer. What did he have to give her that she couldn’t get ten times better somewhere else? He was reading too much into the situation.
The past few weeks had been incredibly stressful. She was living on pure emotion, nothing else. He knew she cared, and that was enough. Love, well, he still wasn’t sure what he felt about love.
Now Molly had all the pieces back in place. She needed to get on with her life. He wanted to stay friends, but he didn’t want to get in the way.
They reached Interstate 5, then the 405. Far too soon, he was pulling off the freeway and into Mischief Bay.
From there it was just a matter of a few miles until he slowed in front of her complex.
He stopped the bike. Molly slid off the back. Dylan fought against the pain in his gut and the incredible need to tell her not to go. That he wanted her with him always. But that wasn’t what he was going to say. He was determined to set her free with a full heart, because that was the right thing to do.
She stood awkwardly on the sidewalk while he got her duffel bag.
“Do you want to come inside?” she asked as he handed her the luggage and she handed him her helmet.
He glanced at the building. It would be easier to let her go if he couldn’t picture her in her world. “No, thanks. You have a lot of calls to make, I’m sure, and I need to get home.”
Her hair was pulled back in a braid, exposing her face. She wasn’t smiling, but the haunted expression had finally left her eyes. He was glad about that.
She stared at him. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you seems so inadequate. I couldn’t have made it through without you.”
“Sure you would have. You would have been just fine. I’m happy to have helped, even just a little.”
She took a step toward him. The afternoon was warm. Her sweater exposed all her curves. Lord, how he wanted her. Not just in his bed, but in his life. Would it be so wrong just to ask? She could always tell him no. Or he could set up a date for after New Year’s. That would give her a chance to settle in and get used to believing she was all right. Then, if she was still interested, it wouldn’t be just about what they’d been through or gratitude.
“You’ll never know how much you’ve meant to me,” she said. Her hazel brown eyes glowed with conviction. “You listened—you held me—you let me be weak and reminded me how to be strong. Fourteen years ago I had a crush on a man I didn’t really know. I’m very happy to find out the reality is even better than I imagined. You are amazing, Dylan.”
He stared at her, not sure what to say. Maybe there was a chance. Maybe i
t wouldn’t be so wrong to tell her what he was feeling. “Molly...” He paused.
She laughed. “I know, it’s a little uncomfortable to be back in our regular world. I’m going to need some time to adjust.”
“Just take it a day at a time,” he said.
“I know. That’s best. I don’t want to make any hasty decisions.”
“That’s smart,” he said, and gathered his courage. He would tell her now. Say all that he was feeling in his heart, maybe even explain that he wasn’t sure if he loved her, but she was as close as he’d ever come. He could say that he wasn’t ready for things to be over.
“Molly?”
The strange male voice came from behind him. He turned slowly, already knowing what he was going to see. A man stood on the sidewalk less than ten feet from them. He was of average height, with sandy brown hair and brown eyes. He wore a dark suit and conservative tie. Everything about him screamed lawyer, and Dylan knew exactly who he was, even before Molly confirmed the fact.
“Grant?” She sounded dazed. “Grant, what are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you.”
Grant held a box of long-stemmed roses in his arms. Dylan guessed that the flowers were probably red, just to round out the cliché. So much for timing, he thought grimly. Just as well. Molly wouldn’t want to know how he felt and he didn’t want to embarrass either of them. It was better this way, he told himself, despite the disappointment and the pain moving up from his gut to his chest.
The fact that he wanted to rip Grant apart, limb by limb, didn’t help the situation. Nor did the impulse to grab Molly and take off. This was the man she’d wanted to marry. That he’d run out on her, that he didn’t look like anything special, wasn’t Dylan’s business. He should be grateful for the interruption. If Grant hadn’t shown up just then, he, Dylan, would have made a complete ass of himself.
Molly touched her throat, wondering if the tightening there was going to cut off her breathing.
“Grant?” she repeated, still stunned beyond words. Grant had shown up here? Now? If it wasn’t all so horrible, she would have started laughing. She’d never before had two men in her life at the same time, yet she knew other women who juggled multiple relationships regularly. The difference was, they could do it for weeks, while she got caught instantly. Then she reminded herself that Grant didn’t have any rights here. He’d canceled their engagement and run off with another woman. She should hate him. Unfortunately, she was too shocked to feel anything.
Even anger.
Grant took a step toward her. “I tried to explain everything in my phone message.” He glanced at Dylan, then back at her. “Did you get it?”
“Yes.”
“You didn’t call.”
She’d forgotten how he could sound petulant when he didn’t get his way. “I’ve been out of town.”
“With him?” The sharp glance was unmistakably challenging.
Dylan moved forward and held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Dylan Black, an old friend of the family. I used to date Molly’s older sister. You must be Grant. Molly’s told me a lot about you.”
Everything he said was the truth. His tone of voice and manner were so friendly and open that Grant responded in kind. Molly knew what Dylan was doing—trying to make it easy for her. Setting it up so she could return to Grant if that was what she wanted.
She watched as the two men shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. She felt as if her entire world had just tipped off its axis. Nothing made sense. Dylan was helping her with Grant, when all she wished was to run away. All of her life had been restored to her. What more could she want?
The answer came quickly and easily. Dylan. She wanted Dylan. She wanted to love him and be with him. She wanted to share her life with him.
But he had his own life, and there was no reason to think he would want her to be a part of that. She’d shown up without warning and asked him to take her away. Amazingly enough, he’d agreed. They’d spent the most wonderful two weeks together, but now that time was over and she had to let him go.
“I should be heading out,” Dylan said, and gave her a quick smile.
“I’ll be right back,” she told Grant, then followed Dylan the two steps to his bike. “Thank you,” she said, jerking her head toward her ex-fiancé.
Dylan shrugged. “It was the least I could do. He’d obviously figured out that we’d been away together. You don’t have to go back to him, but if you do, I wanted to make it as easy as possible. A word of advice, kid,” he said, and touched the tip of her nose. “If you do take him back, don’t tell him we were lovers. He’ll never be able to get over it.”
“But I’m supposed to get over what he did?” She held up a hand. “Never mind, don’t answer that. I understand that life isn’t fair.”
She searched his face. The familiar shapes and lines and features. How was she supposed to let him drive away? “I can’t think of how to thank you.”
“I don’t want thanks. I want you to stay in touch with me. Promise?”
She nodded. “I swear I’ll let you know every single detail of my life. Including when I go to get my hair done.”
He grinned. “Deal. Although I can pass on the hair information, I do want to know what you decide about your work. And Grant.”
She didn’t dare turn to look at her ex-fiancé. She didn’t want to know what he was thinking. There would be plenty of time for that when Dylan was gone.
“All right, Molly, let’s get this over with. Give me a kiss, then go put Romeo there out of his misery.”
She wasn’t sure if Dylan was telling her to take Grant back or kick him out, and she didn’t much care. She moved close and hugged him, then pressed her mouth to his cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“No problem.”
He released her and pulled on his helmet. Molly took a step back. Emotions flooded her. She didn’t have any way of figuring them out right now. All she could do was absorb the feelings and know that she would deal with them later.
They shifted and flowed until one rose to the surface—one she’d promised herself she would never feel again.
Regret.
He started his engine.
“Dylan!” she screamed over the sound of the motorcycle.
He turned toward her. She dropped the duffel bag and returned to his side. “Wait,” she said.
He pulled off the helmet so he could hear her. “What’s wrong?”
She flung her arms around him and pulled him close. “I can’t do this,” she said, speaking into his ear so that Grant couldn’t hear her. “I don’t want to just say thank you. I want to tell you that you have changed my life. I will never forget your acts of kindness and generosity to me. You are so incredible and I wish you great happiness no matter what.”
He drew back enough so that he could see her face. Molly felt the tears on her cheeks, but she didn’t brush them away. “I promised myself no regrets,” she went on, then sucked in a breath. “This is harder than I thought. Okay, here goes.” She pressed her fingers against his mouth. “I don’t want you to say anything back, because that’s not why I’m telling you this. I just want you to know that I love you. You’ve made me believe in myself again, and for the first time in my life, you’ve made me believe in love. No matter what happens or where you go, know that you carry a piece of my heart with you.”
She took her fingers away and replaced them with her mouth. This wasn’t a friendly kiss between old family friends, but she didn’t care. Passion blended with sadness, creating the sweetest of perfumes. His mouth, his lips, his scent, his taste were all painfully familiar. She tried to remember what it was like so that she could relive these memories when the nights were long and lonely.
Finally, they both pulled away. She offered him a shaky smile. “I have two more things to say t
o you,” she told him. “Then you’ll be free to go.”
Dylan glanced at Grant. Molly didn’t bother turning around. Grant could wait or not. It was up to him.
“First,” she said, “don’t sell out. Black Lightning is your heart and soul and you’ll never be happy working for someone else. Just my opinion, but I mean it.”
“What’s second?”
His voice was low and thick, as if he wrestled with strong emotion. She was glad he was as affected by the moment as she was.
“This.” She dug into her jeans pocket and pulled out the gold wedding ring that had first brought her to him. “If you ever need an adventure, come find me. No matter what, I’ll go with you.” She pressed the ring into his palm and closed his fingers over the band.
“What if you’re married to him?” he asked, jerking his head toward Grant.
She thought about saying that was incredibly unlikely but didn’t. “It doesn’t matter. No matter what, Dylan, I’ll be there for you. Not because I owe you, but because I want to be.”
She stepped back to the curb. Dylan was in awe of her courage.
“Merry Christmas, Dylan.”
“Merry Christmas.”
It would have been so easy to tell her that he loved her, too, but he couldn’t say the words. Not now. Not when everything she’d ever wanted had been returned to her. Maybe he thought Grant was a complete jerk, but at one time Molly had wanted to marry him. He owed her the chance to find out if any of those emotions were still alive. If he confessed his own feelings, that would change everything.
Maybe in time, he could check on her. If she’d dumped Grant and still seemed interested, they could pick up where they’d left off. Maybe he was kidding himself. Why would Molly want a guy like him?
He tucked the ring into his jeans pocket and put on his helmet. Molly and Grant were already heading into the complex.
She stopped at the entrance and looked back at him. Grant put his arm around her. They made a great couple. What was the term? DINKs—double income, no kids. Grant would rise in his law firm, probably make partner. They could join the country club, send their kids to private school. Dylan would only ever be the bad boy from the wrong side of town. His business was successful, but he wasn’t a white-collar professional. Given the choice, he would wear black leather.
The Christmas Wedding Ring (Hqn) Page 20
