by Kat Brookes
His gaze dropped to the red spots on her hand, and his frown deepened. “You need to run that hand under some cold water.” Without waiting for a reply, he turned and made his way around to the side of the house, returning a moment later with a garden hose in hand. The water was coming out in a slow, gentle trickle. “Hold out that hand,” he said.
“I really don’t...” she began to protest, then seeing the determination on the cowboy’s face had her saving her breath. Holding her hand out over the railing, she watched as Tucker Wade ran the cool water over the reddened patches of skin the spilled coffee had left behind.
“Better?” he asked, glancing up at her with a warm smile.
But the smile wasn’t what drew and held her attention. It was his eyes. Slightly more brilliant than Blue’s, she decided. A vivid shade of bright green. Like the heart-shaped leaves found on lemon clover. And those thick lashes...
“Autumn?”
She snapped out of her thoughts, her cheeks warming at having been so distracted by this man. So what if Tucker Wade had striking eyes and a kind smile? A handsome face had nothing to do with the man’s ability to care for his daughter. She gave a quick nod. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Glad to help.” His smile widened into a teasing grin as he worked to shut off the hose’s nozzle. “Maybe I should have suggested you help yourself to the orange juice in the fridge instead.”
Her gaze touched briefly on the coffee cup atop the porch railing and then back to Tucker Wade. “I didn’t sleep very well last night, so waking up to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee was a most welcomed thing.” Not only had Tucker insisted she and Blue spend the night there instead of driving into town, he’d set the timer on his coffee maker so it would be ready for her when she awoke.
“That makes two of us,” he admitted with a sigh.
“You should have slept in the house last night,” she said with a frown.
“It had nothing to do with that,” he assured her. “We cowboys are used to camping outdoors, so a cot in a barn isn’t so bad. I just had a lot on my mind.”
“Understandable.” She glanced toward the sun that was slowly rising up from the distant horizon and then back to him. “At least Blue slept well last night,” she said. “Not a single nightmare.”
“You expected her to have bad dreams here?”
“I didn’t know,” she said honestly. “They happen on occasion. Ever since her momma died.”
“Maybe the distraction of being in a new place will help to ease her nightmares.”
“I pray it does.” She glanced toward the rising sun and then back to Tucker. “So are you always up this early?”
“Earlier, usually,” he replied. “I’m a bit off my game today.”
She nodded in understanding. “The coffee’s still hot if you’d like a cup,” she offered. Despite his reassurances, she knew he couldn’t have been very comfortable doing so with the nights getting so cold, but she appreciated his willingness.
“Coffee sounds good,” he replied.
“Blue should be getting up soon. She’s an early riser, but I expect her to be up even earlier this morning, considering this is her first breakfast with her daddy.”
He glanced toward the front door, his expression one of nervous apprehension.
Autumn laughed softly. “It’s not as if you’re about to face a den of lions as Daniel once had to. Blue’s a very sweet, loving little girl.”
His gaze shifted back to her. “My little girl,” he said as if in awe of the words that he’d just spoken, his voice choked with emotion. “And I don’t have the slightest idea where to begin.”
That admission couldn’t be easy for a man like Tucker Wade. Cowboys were a proud lot. She should have been encouraged by his honesty, a sign that maybe he wasn’t mentally prepared to raise a child. But she found herself offering him a reassuring smile. “I’d start with a ‘good morning’ once she wakes up and then prepare to answer a lot of questions. Everything from ‘Are clouds made up of cotton balls?’ to ‘Why can’t chickens fly?’”
Tucker chuckled.
“Laugh now,” she warned playfully. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you once the questions begin. Your daughter can be very inquisitive.”
“Duly noted.”
“You cook?” she asked in surprise.
The corners of his mouth lifted, revealing a lone dimple. The same dimple her niece displayed with every smile. “A man’s gotta eat.” That said, he started off around the house, dragging the garden hose behind him. “Plain to see where Blue got her ‘inquisitiveness’ from,” he called back over a broad shoulder before disappearing from sight.
The moment Autumn realized she was still smiling, she forced her mouth into a tight line. She would not, could not, like Tucker Wade. He was the enemy. The one person who could take away the only family she had left. Not waiting for Tucker, she grabbed for her cup of coffee and marched determinedly back into the house.
* * *
Hearing the front door to his ranch house close, Tucker took a moment to calm his racing thoughts. There were times as he’d stood talking to Autumn that he found himself thinking of Summer. How could he not? Autumn was the spitting image of his wife, except for having shorter hair and more of a businesslike style of dress. And she was every bit as pretty. Not at all surprising, considering they were identical twins. Yet, Autumn seemed different. Where his wife had always lived her life being her true self, her sister seemed more reserved; guarded, almost. Not that the situation they found themselves in didn’t give her reason to be, but Tucker found himself wondering what she would be like with all those protective layers peeled away.
When Autumn had let down her guard for those brief moments that morning, allowing her more playful side to come out, she reminded him even more of her sister. But she wasn’t Summer, the woman who had run out on him, taking with her a very huge part of him—his daughter.
His daughter. A lump formed in Tucker’s throat, causing him to swallow hard. He was somebody’s daddy. Blue’s daddy. She was the most precious responsibility he’d ever been given. He knew nothing about raising children. She knew nothing about him. It felt as if he were going down a steep set of stairs in the dark with no handrail to hold on to. He didn’t want to fall. Didn’t want to fail. Not when God had chosen him to bestow this incredible blessing on.
Blue Belle Wade. Wait until his family found out about her. They’d be as shocked as he’d been. Even more so, seeing as how they had no idea he’d ever been married. So many things he would have done differently if given the chance. But there was no going back in life, only forward. And with that in mind, he intended to make it up to Blue for being absent from her life for so long, even if that absence hadn’t been his choice.
Taking a deep breath, Tucker headed inside, closing the front door quietly behind him as he made his way to the kitchen. The coffee mug Autumn had been using sat on the kitchen table, but she was nowhere in sight. Crossing the kitchen, he grabbed himself a mug and filled it with coffee. Then he busied himself with starting breakfast for his guests.
Tucker caught himself, mentally changing that to for his daughter and her aunt. His daughter was not a guest. She was family. His family. That thought had him whistling a happy tune as he moved about the kitchen.
“Care to tell us what’s going on with you today?”
Speaking of family. Tucker turned to find Jackson and Garrett standing just inside the kitchen entryway, worried frowns on their faces. They’d clearly come before finishing up that morning’s tasks.
“Everything okay with the horses?” he asked, worried that something might have happened with one. His brothers looked so serious.
“They’re fine,” Jackson replied. “It’s you we’re concerned about. You never call off when there’s work to be done.”
He’d spent a long, restless night, caught up in t
houghts of his little girl. He’d also spent a good bit of time praying for the Lord to give him the strength to find it in himself to forgive Summer as Autumn had, because at that moment the depth of her betrayal was still too fresh to get past the simmering resentment he felt inside.
“Judging by the happy little tune you were whistling when we came in,” Garrett said, “I’m guessing you’re not under the weather.”
“No,” Tucker replied, feeling guilty for causing his brothers unnecessary worry. He hadn’t made mention of Blue when he’d called to let them know he wouldn’t be meeting up with them at the main barn that morning, because that was the kind of news he preferred to give them in person. “I’m not under the weather.”
His oldest brother’s frown deepened. “That being the case, care to let us in on what’s really going on with you, then?”
Where did he begin? Tucker sent a quick prayer heavenward for some guidance from the Lord in the best way to handle this situation. One that affected him as well as his family. “I—”
“You’re really tall,” a tiny voice stated, cutting into Tucker’s response.
His gaze shot between his brothers to see Blue standing there in the living room, looking up at Garrett and Jackson with youthful curiosity. She was wearing a long flannel nightgown covered in bright pink butterflies. Matching pink kitten heads peeked out from under the ruffled hem of her nightgown. A stuffed rag doll that looked as though it had gotten most of the stuffing loved right out of it drooped from her tiny hand.
His brothers’ eyes widened in unison at the unexpected interruption before they pivoted on booted heels to look down at Blue. For the first time since Tucker could remember, his big brothers were rendered utterly speechless.
“Come on into the kitchen, sweetheart,” he told his daughter, whose gaze was still fixed on her suddenly mute uncles.
Jackson and Garrett parted to let her through, their attention doing a slingshot in his direction as she passed by with a sleepy smile.
“Morning, Daddy,” she said in the sweetest little singsong voice he’d ever heard. Her words grabbed at his heart. He was somebody’s daddy, something he’d never expected to be after Summer had run out on their marriage. Not only had he been too hurt to think about trusting in love again, but also his still being legally wed to Summer had been keeping him from giving another relationship a chance.
Tucker returned his baby girl’s smile, an unfamiliar warmth seeping into his heart as he did so. Then he placed his hands on her tiny shoulders and slowly turned her to face his brothers. “Blue Belle Wade, these two hulking giants who don’t seem to be able to pick their jaws up from the kitchen floor are your uncles. That’s your uncle Jackson on the left and your uncle Garrett on the right.” He glanced down at his daughter, recalling she was only four. “Do you know what left and right are?”
She held out her hand, making and L shape with her fingers. “This is my left because left starts with L.”
“Very good,” he praised. He didn’t know enough about children to say for sure, but something told him Blue was an extremely bright child.
“Uncles?” Jackson muttered in confusion as he stared at Blue.
Tucker looked up at his brother with an answering nod.
Garrett attempted to process what he’d just heard. “Blue Belle Wade?” he repeated slowly, his gaze fixed on Blue with her bright smile and reddish-brown curls.
“My daughter,” Tucker said, still trying to come to grips with it all himself.
Garrett’s wide-eyed gaze snapped up to Tucker. “Your what?”
“His daughter,” Blue announced proudly, her tiny chin lifting.
“Daughter?” Jackson repeated, understandably confused by Blue’s announcement.
“Who’s hungry?” Tucker said with forced calm. He didn’t want his brothers’ raised voices to startle his daughter. “We can talk more about this while we eat. I’m making bacon and eggs.”
Blue’s gleeful expression fell. “But Aunt Autumn always makes me pancakes.”
“I’m making pancakes, too,” Tucker promptly amended, causing his brother’s gazes to swing sharply in his direction.
Jackson snorted. “Since when do you make pancakes?”
“He’s not,” another female voice chimed in. “I am.”
His brothers stepped aside as Autumn made her way past them into the kitchen to stand beside him and Blue.
This wasn’t how he’d envisioned this moment to go. He hadn’t even had a chance to prepare his brothers for the shock of finding out they were uncles. “I don’t have a pancake mix,” Tucker admitted guiltily.
“The best pancakes are made from scratch anyways,” Autumn said with a smile and then leaned over to speak to Blue. “Sweetie, I thought I told you to wait for me in the bathroom while I grabbed your hairbrush and ponytail holder from your suitcase and a change of clothes.”
“I was hungry.”
“Even so, you shouldn’t be wandering around by yourself.”
“I wasn’t by myself,” she said, looking up at Tucker who stood on her other side. “I was with my daddy.”
A slight frown tugged at Autumn’s lips as she straightened. “Yes, I suppose you were.”
Tucker looked over to find Garrett and Jackson staring at Autumn, mouths agape. And he understood why. They’d known Summer from the rodeo, had known their little brother had been sweet on her that rodeo season. And with Blue calling him daddy he could just imagine what they were thinking. Only they had it all wrong.
Clearing his throat, he said, “Jackson and Garrett, I’d like you to meet Autumn Myers, Summer’s twin sister.”
“Her twin?” Jackson said as if having trouble accepting that this wasn’t the Summer they had once known, standing there.
“Identical twin,” Autumn supplied with a sad smile.
Tucker wanted to explain why his wife wasn’t there and her sister was, but he didn’t want to mention Summer’s passing with his daughter standing there. Her mother’s loss had been traumatic enough for her as it was.
“My mommy’s in heaven,” Blue said sadly.
Tucker’s heart ached for his little girl. No child should ever have to speak those words.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the room.
Clearing the emotion from his throat, Tucker said, “Her aunt Autumn brought Blue here to meet her family.”
“And maybe I’ll get to live here if you want me,” Blue reminded him.
“As I said before, wanting you isn’t an issue,” he replied tenderly. “I do without a doubt. You belong here.”
“Tucker, please,” Autumn warned in a hushed voice beside him. “Don’t get her hopes up. It’s too soon.”
“You have a daughter,” Garrett said disbelievingly.
Tucker nodded. “I do.”
“All these years and you’ve never said anything?” Jackson grumbled, clearly hurt by what he thought had been Tucker’s decision to keep Blue’s existence from them.
“Why don’t Blue and I give you men a few moments of privacy while she gets dressed for the day?” Autumn said, taking her niece by the hand. “Just give me a holler when you’re ready for me to start on those pancakes.”
His brothers parted to let them through.
“Are my uncles mad at my daddy?” Tucker heard Blue ask as Autumn led her away. Any answer her aunt might have given was lost as the two scurried toward the entryway.
Garrett waited a moment and then turned to face him. “I can’t believe you kept this from us.”
Tucker hated the censure he saw in his brother’s eyes.
Jackson crossed the room to grab a couple of coffee cups from the cupboard. “I wouldn’t have expected this from you,” he muttered as he placed them onto the counter and then reached for the coffeepot. “Momma raised us better than that.”
This was g
oing to be even harder than he’d imagined it would be, not that he’d had much time to think about how everything was going to play out. Just one sleepless night in the barn. He took a seat at the table and dragged a hand down over his face, feeling the stubble of his unshaven jaw. “I didn’t know about Blue,” he said, the admission stoking the flames of his resentment toward Summer for keeping his daughter from him. “Not until last evening when Autumn showed up on my doorstep to tell me about Summer’s...passing.” The word caught in his throat.
“I’m sorry,” Garrett said solemnly. “I know how much she meant to you at one time.”
Enough to marry, Tucker thought, his jaw tightening.
Jackson walked over and handed Garrett a steaming mug and then both men settled themselves into the empty chairs across the table from Tucker, disapproval etched into their tanned faces.
“I know what you’re both thinking,” Tucker grumbled. “And you’re wrong.”
“You just told us that Blue is your daughter,” their oldest brother said, pinning Tucker with his gaze.
“She is. Only I didn’t know Summer was carrying my child when she walked away from our marriage.”
Jackson nearly choked on the sip of coffee he’d just taken. “Marriage?”
“You both know I fell pretty hard for her when we met. By the time rodeo season came to an end, I couldn’t imagine leaving her. She felt the same.” At least, he’d thought she had. But if she had, she would have told him about the baby. Would have given him the chance to think about giving up the rodeo life, instead of making the decision herself to end something they had started together. “We both decided to put down roots in Cheyenne, the place where we’d first met. So I bought her a ring and got married at the courthouse.”
“You have something against church weddings?” Garrett asked with a disapproving frown.
“We wanted a quick, small, private wedding.”
“Can’t get more private than a courthouse wedding,” Jackson muttered angrily as he brought his coffee cup to his lips. “You might have at least included your immediate family in something as sacred as the exchanging of your wedding vows.”
