by Kat Brookes
“I helped her,” Blue said with a bright smile. “It’s a surprise. Are you surprised?”
Looking down into Autumn’s pretty ice-blue eyes, he said, “Very.”
“It’s not spaghetti,” she said, almost anxiously, “but there should be more than enough to feed two additional dinner guests.”
Whatever it was, he appreciated her having gone to the trouble of making dinner. He’d been doing all the cooking that week. And what man didn’t appreciate coming home to a home-cooked meal? “I’m sure whatever you came up with will be more than fine,” he told her. “But you didn’t have to make anything. You’re my guest. I should be cooking for you.”
“Blue and I thought it was time we made dinner for you.”
His daughter nodded in agreement.
Autumn’s gaze lifted and there was no missing the hint of concern in those thickly-lashed blue eyes of hers. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Mind?” he said, shaking his head. “Not at all. It’s nice coming home to find I’ve had a surprise dinner planned for me.” It was a small taste of the kind of life he might have had. But warm welcomes home and special dinners had been denied him. First by Summer, and then by his own determination never to risk his heart again. He’d remained married when he could have tracked Summer down to end things legally. It guaranteed that he couldn’t—wouldn’t—make the same mistake twice. If only the past few days hadn’t shown him what that decision had cost him.
Tucker cleared his throat and looked back toward the door. “I guess I’ll go extend that invite.” Not that his brothers wouldn’t have made their way to the house without one. Stepping outside gave him the chance to sort through his rambling thoughts and, at the same time, distance himself from the woman responsible for them being that way.
* * *
“Thank you for inviting us to dinner,” Garrett said to Autumn as he settled into the chair next to Tucker’s. His warm, lone-dimpled grin was the carbon copy of not only his brothers’, but his niece’s, as well.
Jackson nodded. “Yes, thank you. We only meant to stop by for a visit.” He looked to Tucker. “Against my brother’s orders I might add.”
She couldn’t help but smile at the glower Tucker was shooting them both. “I heard. However, I’m glad you did. It’ll give me a chance to see how you all interact as a family.”
“Probably not the best month to look for us to be overly loving to each other,” Jackson muttered as he stabbed a forkful of chicken from the oval-shaped dish in the center of the table and dropped it onto his plate.
Autumn looked his way. “Excuse me?”
“It’s October,” Garrett added, as if that explained everything.
“We’re coming off the back end of rodeo season,” Tucker explained. “That means after putting in thousands of miles together while taking our stock to the dozens of rodeos we were contracted for, we tend to feel a little less warm and fuzzy toward each other.”
“Fuzzy?” Blue piped in. “Like my teddy bear?”
Garrett chuckled. “Not quite, little darlin’. What your daddy’s saying is that we tend to need a little breathing room from each other right after rodeo season ends.”
“To keep us from wanting to strangle each other,” Jackson added.
Blue’s eyes widened with worry.
“Wrangle,” Tucker blurted out as he cast a chastising glance in his brother’s direction. “Your uncle meant to say to keep us from wanting to wrangle each other.”
“What’s wrangle?” she asked.
“That means to argue over something,” Autumn answered for them as the three men sat exchanging troubled glances, no doubt realizing the current flow of their dinnertime discussion wasn’t in their best interest when it came to convincing Autumn her niece would be in good hands with them. Then she turned to Tucker, focusing on something else that had been said. “Thousands of miles?”
He winced, looking as if he wanted to kick himself. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. Rodeo season is only a few months long and for smaller events usually only two of us go.”
She nodded, her gaze dropping to Blue. “Sounds very time-consuming.”
“It can be,” he answered honestly. “But I’m willing to change up my schedule to accommodate my daughter’s needs. And my parents will be more than willing to help out whenever necessary.”
“I see,” she said stiffly. “I guess that means they took the news of their having a granddaughter well, then?” Autumn could only imagine what a shock such a revelation must have been for them.
Anxious glances were exchanged among the three men.
Seeing the men’s sudden unease, she looked to Tucker, pinning him with her gaze. “Your parents still don’t know?”
His frown returned. “Not yet. But not because I’m worried about how they’ll react to hearing they have a granddaughter. I just wanted a few days to let all of this settle in before calling them.”
“It’s been a few days,” she responded flatly, disappointed that he felt the need to keep news of his having a daughter from the very people who brought him into this world.
“What my little brother’s not saying,” Garrett cut in, “is that he knows Mom and Dad will pack up and rush back to Bent Creek the moment they find out about Blue.”
“And that would be a bad thing why?” she asked.
“Because they’ve been talking about taking this trip to Jackson Hole for as long as any of us can remember,” Jackson said. “When Mom was hospitalized with pneumonia this past spring, Dad told her she had to get better because he was buying an RV and taking her on that trip she’d been longing for.”
So Tucker wasn’t hiding the fact of Blue’s existence out of any sort of shame or embarrassment—he was doing so out of consideration for his parents’ long-awaited trip. She found herself warming up to this kindhearted cowboy with each passing day.
Maybe if Tucker had known about the baby her sister had been carrying at the time, things might have turned out differently for them all. He might have chosen to settle down in one place. Made something of their hasty marriage. But he hadn’t known. Her sister’s decision had not only deprived the man of his daughter, it had deprived Blue of the chance to know her father and all the family that came with him.
“I’m hungry,” Blue said, squirming restlessly in her chair.
“You and me both,” Tucker said with a smile directed specifically at his little girl. “We should eat before this meal your aunt Autumn made us gets cold.”
“Can I say the prayer?” her niece asked, casting a pleading glance in Autumn’s direction.
“That would be nice,” Autumn told her. “Now close your eyes and bow your head.”
Blue did just that and began in her soft little voice, “Thank You, Lord, for this meal we’re gonna eat. And for my new daddy. Amen.”
Her niece’s words had a happy smile stretching wide across Tucker’s handsome face.
“Oh, and thank You for my uncles, too,” Blue added, folding her hands together and squeezing her eyes shut once more. “They’re really tall. And for Aunt Autumn. She sells houses. And for all the pretty butterflies that live over the hill. And—”
“Sweetie,” Autumn said, gently cutting her off, “why don’t we finish thanking the Lord for all of the blessings he’s bestowed upon us when we go to bed tonight?” There was no telling how many more things Blue had yet to be grateful for. Autumn fought to suppress the pinch of hurt she felt while Blue was giving her thanks. She reckoned she should be grateful her niece had placed her above the butterflies, but there was a time not too long ago—six days ago to be exact—that she was at the top of Blue’s prayer list. Now Tucker seemed to be the center of her niece’s world and Autumn knew she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t say that it hurt just a little. “Your daddy and your uncles have to be very hungry after working on the ranch al
l day.”
“But I didn’t get to thank God for the chicken we picked up at the store ’cause you burned—”
“Amen,” Autumn blurted out, cutting her niece off. “Everyone dig in.” Cheeks warming, she leaned over to tuck a dinner napkin down into the front of Blue’s shirt. When she turned back to reach for her own napkin to place it on her lap, she found three big, strong cowboys grinning at her. Her face warmed even more.
“Something you’re not telling us?” Tucker asked, dark brows raised in question.
She groaned, knowing if she didn’t fess up, Blue would do it for her. “I might have accidentally allowed the water to boil away while cooking that spaghetti you mentioned having just bought at the store.”
The corner of Tucker’s mouth twitched. “You burned spaghetti?”
Could this moment get any more embarrassing? The last thing she needed was for Tucker Wade to tally up reasons for her not to be the best choice when it came to raising Blue. Reason number one—her poor cooking skills. There was no getting around that fact. Showing houses and nursing the elderly was her specialty. Summer had been the one more at home with horses and in the kitchen.
Ignoring Tucker’s teasing grin, Autumn said, “You told us to help ourselves to anything we wanted from the kitchen while you were away. Blue came across the spaghetti in the pantry while we were fixing our lunch. She asked if we could surprise you with it for dinner. I thought it was the least we could do, considering your opening your home to us during our stay here. And spaghetti isn’t all that hard to make as long as you don’t let the water boil away.”
“’Cause the noodles can catch fire,” Blue stated as she dipped her spoon into the small mound of mashed potatoes on her plate. “That’s why we had to go to the store to shop for dinner.”
The men’s dimples disappeared as their mouths dropped open.
“Fire?” Tucker choked out.
“The smoke was stinky,” Blue added, crinkling her nose.
“There were no actual flames,” Autumn said in her own defense. “Just a little smoke.”
“Not as much as that time we made brownies,” her niece agreed. “And not as stinky as when you burned my hot chocolate.” Blue’s expression changed, her gaze dropping to the plate in front of her. “Momma made the best hot chocolate.”
The humor faded from Tucker’s eyes at the mention of Summer, not that Autumn could blame him. Because of her sister, Blue had no fond memories of her daddy as she was growing up.
“Your grandma Wade’s hot chocolate is pretty good, too,” Tucker told Blue. “She’ll have to make you some when she gets home.”
Blue gave a small nod, but the sadness still filled her face.
Autumn hated feeling as though she had failed her niece. If only Summer were still with them. Life could go back to the way it had been when they’d all been happy. Would her sister have ever told her the truth about Tucker? Or would she have gone on letting Autumn believe the worst about Blue’s daddy?
She glanced over to find Tucker watching her and shrugged apologetically. “Except for baking an occasional berry pie, cooking has never been my forte.” And she was only good at that because she used to bake a berry pie every year for the annual pie Bake-Off back home in Braxton.
“I can’t even make a pie,” Tucker admitted. “So you’re one up on me.”
Garrett nodded. “I’d take chicken over spaghetti any day, so I guess that makes me glad you let the water boil away.”
“This meal looks a lot more appetizing than some of the meals Tucker has served us in the past,” Jackson muttered. “Although I’ll admit his cooking has improved greatly over the years.”
She gave them a grateful smile, but all she could focus on was the fact that Tucker Wade could cook. Another point in his favor.
“Nothing wrong with store-bought chicken,” Jackson said as he stuffed a forkful of the rotisserie-baked chicken into his mouth.
They were being so kind, despite the resentment they had to feel, having Blue kept from them for so long. Autumn felt the sting of tears and knew she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. “Please excuse me,” she said, pushing away from the table. As she stood, all three men did so, as well. Their mannerly gesture had her stifling a sob.
“Aunt Autumn?” The concern in Blue’s voice held Autumn in place for a long moment, but her niece would be more worried if her aunt were to break down right in the middle of dinner.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. She prayed the Lord would grant her the strength to hold it together until she could make her way out of the room. “There’s something Aunt Autumn needs to do before I eat. But you can go ahead and start without me. I won’t be long.” That said, she turned and hurried from the kitchen.
“Autumn?” Tucker called after her.
She didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. Not when it felt like the weight of the world was pressing down on her.
Booted footsteps followed her out onto the front porch and down the steps into the front yard.
“Autumn, please,” Tucker said. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
She kept on walking, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I’m okay,” she called back over her shoulder. “Please go back inside and enjoy your dinner.”
Instead of doing as she asked, he lengthened his stride, easily catching up to her. “You’re crying,” he said in surprise. “If this is about the spaghetti...”
“It’s not,” she said, fighting to hold back the tears. “Well, maybe it is a little.”
“If my teasing you about it upset you, I apologize,” he said, sounding truly remorseful. “I suppose I’m used to having my brothers around. We’re always trying to get each other’s goat.”
“Summer did most of the cooking,” she said, her bottom lip quivering. “But it’s not just about my below-par cooking skills. Or your finding humor in my burning the spaghetti. It’s wanting so very badly for this to be just some awful nightmare I’m gonna wake up from. Not so much you or your brothers, but the losing my sister part. Very possibly my niece, as well,” she added with a hiccupping sob. “Blue is the only family I have left and, while I’m trying to leave it in the Lord’s hands, I’m terrified my prayers won’t be answered.” Just as they hadn’t been when she’d prayed to the Lord not to take her sister from them.
“Autumn,” he said with an empathetic sigh. Drawing her into his comforting embrace, he rested his chin atop her head as her silent sobs made her shoulders tremble. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve had to go through, but I thank the Lord Blue had you in her life when Summer passed.”
For the first time since her sister died, Autumn was the one being comforted. All her efforts and emotional energy following Summer’s accident had gone toward consoling Blue. She’d held back her grief, not wanting to cause her niece any more sadness than she was already feeling after losing her mother. Suddenly that grief was spilling out and she was helpless to stop it.
Tucker held her, soothing her with words of comfort and faith as the tears came full force, her sobs no longer silent. When the storm of emotions finally subsided, Autumn lifted her head from Tucker’s tear-dampened shirtfront and pushed away. “I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.” She couldn’t even bring herself to look him in the eye after such an emotional outburst.
“Grief has no time limit,” he said softly, “stirring up when you least expect it. I know because I still have moments when the loss of my sister hits me.”
Autumn lifted her gaze to his. “You lost a sister? Summer never said anything.”
“That’s because she didn’t know about her,” he said solemnly. “Mari’s death is something I avoid talking about, even with my family.”
Yet, he was sharing his loss with her? She couldn’t help but be touched by it. “How old was your sister when you lost her?”
“Six.”
Dear Lord, she was practically a baby. “What happened?” As soon as the question was out, Autumn shook her head. “You don’t have to answer that.”
“Meningitis,” he answered anyway. “She’d had a really bad ear infection that worked its way into her bloodstream. By the time the doctors figured out that it was something more serious and began treatment, Mari had taken a turn for the worse. The Lord called her home that same night.”
She had come there with so many preconceived notions about Tucker Wade that were nowhere close to the man she was coming to know. And now they shared another bond, beyond that of her niece. They had both experienced the pain of losing a sibling. A sister.
She wiped at the dampness left behind on her cheeks by her tears. “Thank you for opening up to me about Mari.” Especially after admitting that he never spoke of her with anyone, even Summer.
He shrugged as if what he’d just done hadn’t been a huge emotional undertaking for him. “I didn’t want you to think you were alone when it came to losing a sister. I’ve always had my brothers to lean on.”
“That was very kind of you.” She lifted her gaze to look up at him, tears once again filling her eyes. “More kindness than I deserve.” Tucker opened his mouth, no doubt to contradict her statement, but Autumn didn’t give him the chance to. She owed him the truth. “It wasn’t my choice to bring Blue here.”
He nodded. “And I appreciate your respecting your sister’s last request.”
“It was the right thing to do. But I came here already resenting you and the unwanted changes you might bring about in my life,” she admitted. “I came here determined to uncover all of your faults and failings, so I could take Blue home for good. But you’re nothing like the man in my imaginings. You’re kind and compassionate. You seem to have a natural inclination to know all the right things to say and do when it comes to Blue. And you can cook,” she added with a sniffle. “How am I supposed to compete against someone who has no flaws?”
“No flaws?” He snorted. “Sweetheart, I’m the furthest thing from perfect there is. I procrastinate when it comes to cleaning out the fridge, or going grocery shopping. I don’t always take time to shave,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his lightly stubbled chin. “And I always forget to put the lid back on the toothpaste. Should I go on?”
