by Devney Perry
“Xavier?”
His hand went back into his side, pressing hard. “Damn, that hurt.”
The car drifted to the right before Xavier corrected it. The lines on the winding road around the lake were hidden under the snow, but there was no room for error. Too far off to the side and we were going to get stuck in a snow bank.
“Why don’t you pull over?” I asked. There wasn’t a lot of room, but we could quickly switch places.
He blew out another sharp breath, wincing so hard his hand jerked on the steering wheel. Something was wrong. Incredibly wrong.
“Xavier.” My heart was racing. “Pull over. Let me drive. You need to go to the hospital.”
“I’m okay.” His face paled and a sheen of sweat beaded beneath the brim of his hat at his temple. He ran his hand up his side, once again rubbing his chest as he struggled to breathe. “I’m okay. It’s just heartburn.”
“I don’t know. It seems ser—” A flash caught my eye and I flinched. “Look out!”
But my warning came seconds too late.
“Does this mean you can come home for dinner tomorrow?” Mom asked hopefully into the phone.
“No. I’ll spend it here with Sofia’s family. They’ve already made Thanksgiving plans, and I don’t want to cancel on them.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Have a good evening, Mom.”
“You too, Dakota. We’ll see you soon?”
“Yeah. Be home soon. Bye.” I hung up the phone, setting it on the bar.
It was warm from being pressed to my ear for the last hour. But that phone call to Mom was a week overdue. Our conversation was one of the hardest I’d ever had, but it was one I should have had months ago.
I just wished I’d had that conversation when Dad was alive.
I looked at the time on the screen and frowned. I hadn’t heard from Sofia yet. After she and Xavier had left for Kalispell, I’d come to the bar and taken over for Jackson.
Willa and the kids had been in with him today, hanging out while he worked. Roman had been running around the room in his police officer costume—a new one since he’d outgrown the original. And baby Zoe was trying to escape her mother’s grip so she could explore, and probably put something she wasn’t supposed to in her drooling mouth.
As expected on the day before Thanksgiving, it was dead quiet. They’d only had one person in for lunch.
So after the Page crew left to go home and start enjoying the holiday, I’d taken advantage of the time alone and called Mom.
It had been nearly three hours since Sofia had left, and I’d expected to at least get a text when they were on their way back home.
It was dark outside, and though I trusted my uncle to drive them home carefully, I didn’t like Sofia out on a snowy night.
I shouldn’t have let her go and wouldn’t have if not for the pleading in her eyes. She needed time and space away from me.
That hurt. But the way I’d handled things, from the beginning, had been wrong. For that, I’d always be sorry.
I picked up the phone and sent her a quick text.
You guys on your way back?
I wandered around the quiet room, pushing stools back in place, waiting for a return text to chime. When five minutes had passed, I checked to make sure my phone wasn’t on silent. Then I took it into the kitchen, making sure everything was put away. I doubted we’d get any dinner customers, and with everything stowed, I was closing early.
Sofia and I had a lot to discuss.
If she’d ever get back.
“Where are they?” Instead of a text, I picked up my phone and made a call. It went straight to her voicemail. Then I called Xavier’s phone. Same thing.
Something wasn’t right. The knot in my gut confirmed it. I strode out of the kitchen and into the bar. I didn’t care what time it was, I was closing. First thing, I’d head over to Logan and Thea’s place and double-check she wasn’t there. Maybe her phone had just died.
I grabbed my keys from the counter, rounding the bar for the front door just as it burst open and Hazel rushed inside.
“Get your stuff.” Her face was pale, worry lines creasing her leathered skin. But her eyes, they were feral. “Let’s go.”
“Go where?”
“Xavier’s in the hospital.”
My air rushed out of my lungs, but I managed a single word. “Sofia?”
“She’s fine. I’ll explain in the car.”
“Go.”
Hazel spun and was out the door as fast as she’d come in.
I followed right into the cold, the air biting through the flannel of my shirt. But I wasn’t wasting time getting a coat. I locked the door, went straight to my truck and got inside. Hazel beeped the locks on her Subaru Outback, leaving it in the parking lot, and hopped in with me.
I roared down the road, my hands tight on the wheel as I drove as fast as possible without putting Hazel and me at risk. “Talk.”
“They were driving up and almost hit a deer. Xavier swerved to miss it.”
My teeth ground together. He knew better than to swerve. He should have hit it. His life, Sofia’s life, was more precious than a deer’s.
“He lost control, spun around a bit but they didn’t end up in the ditch.”
“If they didn’t crash, then how’d he end up in the hospital?”
“He was having a bunch of pains. After the deer, Sofia put him in the passenger seat and drove to the hospital. She just called.”
“Goddamn it.” I never should have let her go. “But she’s okay?”
“She sounded shaken up.”
I was sure of it. On top of being concerned about Xavier, she didn’t drive much. She wasn’t used to snow-packed and icy roads. But my lady was strong—stronger than she gave herself credit for.
“What’s wrong with Xavier?” Please, don’t say heart attack.
“They hadn’t told Sofia yet.”
I gripped the wheel harder, driving as fast as I could for the conditions. Hazel sat stone still except for the nervous fidgeting of her right hand.
“Go ahead.”
“Go ahead, what?”
“Smoke.” I didn’t let people smoke in my truck, but this was a special circumstance. And it would calm her down.
But Hazel shook her head. “No. I quit.”
I risked a glance away from the road to see if she was serious. Hazel had smoked since she was in her twenties. “When?”
“Right now.”
If she was giving up smoking, that meant she was terrified for Xavier’s life.
My foot pressed harder on the gas pedal. He had to be okay. I couldn’t lose him too.
The rest of the drive was in panicked silence. Hazel and I had the same questions in mind. There was no need to ask. We said the same silent prayers. There was no need to voice them.
It was pitch-black when we arrived at the hospital. The air was ice, a deadly cold. My teeth chattered by the time we raced inside and stood at the reception counter, waiting to get Xavier’s room number.
“Xavier Magee. Room . . .” The nurse pushed the glasses farther up her nose, leaning into the screen like she wanted to torture us. “Room three oh nine.”
We were off like a rocket, Hazel leading the way to the staircase since neither of us had the patience to wait for an elevator.
Hazel took the stairs two at a time like she was my age, not in her early seventies. We broke through the heavy metal door to the third floor and jogged down the hallway toward Xavier’s room.
We heard his voice from two doors down and relief cascaded down my body.
“Do I need it?”
“No,” a man’s voice answered.
“Then take the damn thing out, and let’s be done with this.”
“It’s an organ,” Sofia hissed. “At least read the brochure. And wait for your wife to get here. Doctor, could we have just a minute?”
Before the doctor could agree, Hazel and I burst into the room.
My unc
le’s eyes immediately went to his wife. “Hey, baby.”
“What’s going on?” Hazel snapped at the doctor, like this was his fault, as she walked over to Xavier’s bedside and clutched his hand.
“Gallstones,” Xavier muttered. “Hey, bud.”
“Hi.” I looked him up and down. Besides looking a little pale and wearing a green hospital gown, he looked fine. Which meant I could focus on Sofia. “Babe.”
She was standing in the corner of the room against the window. She held my gaze as I crossed the floor, and the moment I was close enough, she fell into my arms.
“You okay?” I kissed her hair as she burrowed into my chest.
“I’m holding it together. I can’t promise I will for much longer.”
“I’ve got you now.”
I twisted us both so I could hold Sofia and see the doctor, a middle-aged man who was waiting patiently for us to all get situated.
“So what’s wrong?” I asked him. “Gallstones?”
The doctor nodded. “The CT scan shows them clearly. Based on their size and how likely they are to reoccur, I recommend we remove the gallbladder.”
“Is it dangerous?” Hazel’s grip on Xavier’s hand tightened.
“It’s a routine surgery. He will have to be sedated, and there is always the risk of complications. I’d be happy to go over them with you.”
“I’ve heard them. I’m good with it,” Xavier said. “Like I said, let’s do it and be done with them.”
The worry on Hazel’s face eased as she shot her husband a scowl. “Well, I haven’t heard them. So you can just wait a damn minute while I get caught up.”
She dropped his hand, taking a step away from the bed. But then she stopped, spun around and dropped a kiss on Xavier’s mouth. With that, she nodded to the doctor and followed him into the hallway.
My uncle chuckled, but then winced and clutched his side. “Go with her, will you? Just so she’s not alone when he lists off all the stuff that could happen but won’t. I don’t want her freaked out.”
I made a move to leave, but Sofia stopped me. “I’ll go. You can stay with Xavier.”
“Okay.” Her footsteps were quiet as she left the room, but she was okay. They were both okay.
I breathed for the first time in an hour and went to collapse in the chair next to my uncle’s bed. “A deer?”
“Damn deer,” he huffed. “Wasn’t even watching for them, since it was snowing. I thought they’d all be hunkered down somewhere. That animal is lucky to be alive.”
“From the sounds of it, you are too.”
“It wasn’t that bad. Fishtailed on the road. Scared Sofia, though.”
“Scared all of us.”
He sighed. “Between me and you, scared me some too. Thought for sure I was having a heart attack. But the doctor seems to think we can get these gallstones under control. He’s putting me on a pill for the acid reflux too.”
“I can’t . . .” I pinched the bridge of my nose, taking a minute to swallow down the lump in my throat. “Just take care of yourself, okay?”
He gave me a sad smile. “I’m not going anywhere. Not for a while.”
Dad had probably thought the same. Xavier was older than Dad and had lived a more stressful life. The truth was, you never knew when your time was up.
“I have a lot of regrets,” I told Xavier. “With Dad. I don’t want any with you.”
“We’re good, bud. We’re good.”
“I should have been nicer. When I saw him last, I should have been nicer. I should have called more. The last time I saw him was at Kimi’s naming. I should have tried harder.”
Instead, I’d held on to my anger. I’d held on to my pride.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d said I love you, Dad.
“You can’t blame yourself, Dakota. It’s just life. Your dad . . . we didn’t end things on good terms either. He was my brother. I can’t remember the things we said the last time we spoke.”
“Why does it have to be like this?”
He stared up at the ceiling. “We’re stubborn men. Stubborn to a fault. I’ve let it run my life. Your dad did too. We’ve both held on to feelings that we should have let go of a long time ago. Learn from our mistakes.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I could tell him that. I’m sorry, for all of it.”
“Dakota.” He turned his gaze to me. “It isn’t your fault.”
“I left.”
“You have to be who you are. There’s no shame in that.”
I dropped my gaze to the floor. If only he was right.
“Did I ever tell you about the day you were born?”
“No.”
Xavier’s face turned back to the ceiling, giving me his profile as he spoke. “Your dad came up with this idea. He wanted to have this naming ceremony so that all the family could meet his new son.”
“Wait. What? I thought the naming thing was Koko’s idea.”
“Nope, it was your dad’s. He did it for all you kids. He even went against our mom and invited me. It caused a big stir, but he didn’t care. I think he always had hope I’d come home. That things would be different. You know what he said that day when he announced your name?”
I shook my head, waiting.
“He looked at you with so much love. He said, ‘Dakota. My son. Burn bright, little star. Burn bright.’”
My jaw dropped. That was the same thing Dad had said to all of his grandchildren when he’d introduced himself.
“Your dad, he wanted you all to succeed,” Xavier said. “But I think he always knew you were too big for his idea of success. Deep down, I think he knew he was destined to lose you.”
“He never lost me.”
“It didn’t make it any easier to watch you walk away. He loved you. He wouldn’t have fought so hard to get you back if he didn’t love you. Never forget that. Your dad loved you.”
The fire in my throat began to choke. “I miss him.”
I’d always miss him. Every day. All I could do now was hope that one day, I’d find some peace with his death.
And, like Xavier had said, learn from his mistakes.
“You’re getting your gallbladder removed.” Hazel marched into the room, her chin held high as she made the declaration. “Today.”
Xavier chuckled. “Good idea.”
“I’ll leave you two alone.” I stood from the chair, hugging Xavier and Hazel before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind me.
I found Sofia in the hallway, her arms wrapped tight around herself.
“I didn’t make it to see Arthur.” Her chin quivered. “I forgot to call him too.”
“It’s okay.” I tucked her into my side with one arm around her shoulders and walked us down the hallway until I found a quiet corner at the end. “Thanks for getting Xavier here.”
She blew out a long breath. “I’m never driving again.”
I grinned. “I’ll do the driving from now on.”
“What if you’re not with me?”
I let her go, angling myself in front of her. “I talked to my mom today.”
Her frame locked tight. “And?”
“I told her I’d be pissed if she didn’t come to our wedding.”
Sofia blinked, letting my words sink in. Then her eyes began to fill with tears, the happy kind. “You did?”
“I did. And I told her I was going to make babies with you.”
A sob escaped her lips, a tear dripping down her smooth cheek. “You picked me?”
“I’ll always pick you. You’re my family.” I cupped her cheek, holding the weight of her face in my palm.
Her smile was blinding, but it didn’t last long. Another sob choked free, one so full of relief and happiness it sent her face crashing into my chest so she could cry freely.
I wrapped her up as she clung to me, the weight of two different worlds lifting from above us. We didn’t have to carry them anymore. We just had to hold up one another.
I’d t
old my mother today I would always choose Sofia. I gave her a choice: gain a daughter, or lose her son. I’d told her this would be the last time we spoke if she couldn’t let go of the idea I’d move home and marry Petah.
It took her less than a second to realize just how serious I was.
Mom had lost enough. We all had.
It was time to pull together.
“We have to go to my mom’s for Christmas,” I whispered into Sofia’s hair.
“Okay.” She nodded. “Do you think if I bought your sisters some Chanel handbags, it would help win them over?”
“Couldn’t hurt.”
She hiccupped a laugh, her arms hugging me tight. Then she tipped up her chin, resting it on my chest. “What about the money?”
“I want to work. It’s part of who I am. But you are right. That money is a part of who you are. If this is going to work, we need to find a middle ground.”
It still felt strange to not have earned the money myself. But like Sofia had said, it was just stupid male pride. I’d get over it eventually. Especially if her money could go toward a passion project. Dad wasn’t around to see it, but with her resources, we could make my hometown a better place for the generations to come.
“You’ve got the studio. I was thinking maybe we could make some investments in the reservation. Give back to my people.”
“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate. “I think that’s a perfect idea.”
I dropped my lips to hers. “Love you.”
“I love you,” she whispered back. “You saw it, didn’t you?”
“I saw it.” I smiled, the kind she’d begged me for all those mornings ago. The smile that was hers and hers alone.
I didn’t know exactly what the future would entail, but the black box was gone. Sofia and I would wake up together. Sleep in one another’s arms. We’d have passion for every day, simply because we were together.
I saw it.
And it was burning bright.
One year later . . .
“Where are they?” I huffed to Dakota. “If they don’t hurry up, we’re going to have a screaming baby on our hands, and my boobs are going to explode.”
I jostled Joseph in my arms, silently cursing myself for encouraging Landon to chase after Aubrey.
