I shook my head. No. He was not right about me. I did not need to be completely in control. Just watch me. Today I would be chilled, relaxed, floaty. A bit like Aunty Gina. I’d go with the proverbial flow. Gah! Well, I would try, at least.
In the kitchen, Mum was already preparing breakfast. ‘Morning, Katie.’ She cast me a sideways glance as she poured freshly boiled water onto coffee.
‘Morning. Sleep well?’
‘If you can call tossing and turning until I finally passed out from sheer exhaustion well…then…I mean, yes, thank you.’ She wrinkled her perfectly straight nose.
Did she just auto-correct herself? ‘My bed was really comfy. Wasn’t yours?’
‘Not really, Katie. For some reason our room has a waterbed.’ She shivered as if the final word was dirt encrusted.
‘A waterbed?’ I gasped in mock horror, swallowing my laughter.
‘Keep your voice down,’ she muttered. ‘All night long, every time your father moved, all I could hear was sloshing and slooshing beneath me. I felt quite seasick.’
My mother was admitting to a weakness – even if it was an aversion to waterbeds. I pressed my lips together hard. ‘Did Dad sleep?’
‘Like a well-rocked baby.’ She sighed as she poured milk into large mugs with colourful Christmas scenes painted on them. I stared at the heart lifting images of families sledging, carol singers crowded together around a glowing brazier and Santa Claus flying through the air in his sleigh pulled by a red nosed reindeer.
‘Have you looked outside, Mum?’
She nodded.
‘It actually snowed last night!’ I gave a little bounce.
‘Snow? Looks like a heavy fros— Yes, it’s beautiful. Could you give me a hand please, Katie?’ Mum smiled then and I nearly lost my balance. What on earth was going on?
‘Yeah…sure. What do you want me to do?’
She directed me to the bacon and the frying pan and I spent the next ten minutes happily breathing in the delicious aroma of smoked bacon and humming along to the carols on the radio. Mum even joined in when Elvis crooned ‘It’ll be lonely this Christmas’. It wasn’t so bad being with Esther like this. It wasn’t like we’d ever be best friends but we had cooked together quite a lot when I was growing up and it seemed to be the one time when we could tolerate being in close proximity.
When everything was ready – buttered toast, fried bacon, mushrooms, huge juicy grilled tomatoes and poached eggs – we carried it all into the dining room. Dad was there reading the newspaper and looking like the lord of the manor.
‘Morning!’ I sang. ‘How’d you get the papers so early?’
‘Your father popped out before we all woke up,’ Mum replied and her cheeks flushed bright pink. Was she hiding something? ‘I’ll just fetch the toast.’
I watched her leave, frowning with confusion as the toast was already on the table. Why had she fled to the kitchen? What were they up to?
‘Hey, Katie. How’d you sleep?’ Dad seemed to suddenly notice me.
‘Great thanks, Dad.’ I kissed him on his proffered cheek.
‘Good morning, Warhams.’ Karl entered the room followed by Angelo. They really were the most gorgeous couple. Karl was the perfect athletic blonde with his golden skin and expensively highlighted hair and Angelo was dark, brooding and tight-bodied. Their joy in each other just oozed out of them in a smug, sated, sensual way.
A tap at the front door drew my attention. ‘I’ll just see who that is,’ I announced, trying to appear calm as I left the room. As if I didn’t know. Sam, Jack and Holly bustled through the front door, then stamped their feet on the welcome mat. The three of them were giggling excitedly and I overheard the words sledging and snowman. I’d have to check the forecast because more snow was definitely needed at Hawthorne Manor. It just had to dump more of the fluffy white stuff to make their Christmas perfect. But once we’d been out to get a tree. Not before. We needed a tree.
Trying to control the weather now, Katie?
‘Hi, Katie!’ Sam approached me with a child clinging to each hand.
‘Hi, Sam.’ I tried to sound nonchalant but my heart was in my throat. He looked positively edible. His black hair and eyebrows emphasised the chocolate pools of his eyes. He wore faded jeans with a light-grey sweater and a pair of bulky black Caterpillar boots. (I have a thing for boots like that. They remind me of workmen on a building site, all manly and full of testosterone. I always think that men wearing that type of footwear must be big enough and strong enough to appreciate a full-bodied woman like me.) Sam’s fitted jeans showed off wide shapely thighs a rugby player would be proud of, and his sweater did nothing but draw my attention to the rippling muscles underneath. I sighed inwardly; there was no way that anything could ever happen between us again…was there?
‘Bacon!’ I blurted out.
‘Sorry?’ He was so close now that I could enjoy his scent. Fresh citrus shower gel mingled with something deeper and sexier like cloves and cinnamon. I closed my eyes and licked my lips.
‘Daddy, why is Katie sleeping standing up?’ I blinked quickly and my cheeks flushed. Ooops!
‘She’s just a bit tired this morning, Holly,’ Sam said to the tiny person at his side.
‘I thought she was after a kiss under the mistletoe,’ Jack said as he pointed to the previously unnoticed greenery above our heads. Who had put that there?
‘Well I’d hate to disappoint a lady.’ Sam grinned at me and my insides somersaulted. He wasn’t serious?
‘Go on then Daddy.’ Holly shook Sam’s hand. ‘Kiss her.’
‘Katie?’ Sam raised his eyebrows and released his children’s hands. He leaned forwards and whispered in my ear, ‘I guess it couldn’t hurt.’
What choice did we have? It would look strange now if I refused. I had no choice. Really.
I took a step closer to him and gazed into his eyes. They were so warm and inviting that I could have written a romance novel about them. He raised his hands and cupped my cheeks, his palms cool and smooth against my sensitive skin. My heart thundered as he moved towards me, my senses went into overdrive as his scent overwhelmed me. Then his soft warm lips met mine and I melted completely, my knees trembling as I struggled to stay upright. I was a ragdoll, a puppet to be manipulated. The room swirled and the ground swayed beneath my feet. It was at once familiar yet brand new, as if we hadn’t once been deeply in love, yet as if we’d never been apart.
But it was over as soon as it had begun, and I had to swallow a sigh of disappointment.
‘Well done, Daddy,’ Jack patted Sam’s back. ‘It was probably easier to do that this morning now that she hasn’t got her clown make-up on.’
Sam’s lips twitched and I turned away quickly and muttered, ‘From the mouths of babes and all that.’
They followed me into the dining room and took their seats while Mum fluttered around them, piling their plates with bacon, eggs and grilled tomatoes and filling glasses with freshly squeezed orange juice and mugs with coffee. I sat next to Aunty Gina and she took my hand under the table and leant in close.
‘I saw that, you know.’
‘What?’ I tried not to blush again.
‘Under the mistletoe.’
‘Oh…it was just…his children, they uh… Where’s Rebecca? Hasn’t she got up yet?’
‘Don’t try to change the subject, Katie. I hung the mistletoe in the doorway this morning. I saw how he was looking at you last night and I thought it would give him the perfect opportunity.’
I stared at her. My funny, eccentric Aunty Gina, so reminiscent of my little old grandmother. Of course, Granny had wiry white hair and thick crow’s feet etched into her tiny face. But Gina’s eyes were lit with a similar wisdom, experience and mischief. Maybe she was right. Maybe not. But it was nice to imagine that she could be. That Katie Warham could really be the girl that Sam might choose to kiss under the mistletoe. Even after all that had happened.
But life’s not that easy or straightforward,
right?
***
Once the breakfast things had been cleared away, we all gathered in the spacious hallway.
‘So who’s coming into Tonbridge?’ Karl asked as he slung an arm around Angelo’s shoulder. I watched as his boyfriend leant in to him, his gaze full of adoration.
‘I am!’ I waved my hand.
‘Not me,’ Dad said. ‘I’m spending the morning with the papers and a pot of coffee.’
‘I’m with your father on that one,’ Gina said. ‘And I still have some presents to wrap.’
‘Mum?’ Karl patted Esther’s arm.
‘Oh no, darling. I have far too much to do here.’
‘It’ll be a bit busy for the kids on Christmas Eve.’ Sam wrinkled his nose. ‘So I’d better stay here. They both hate crowded shops.’ He smiled but I could sense disappointment.
‘Well I have an idea,’ Mum spoke up. ‘I have lots of baking to do and I could really use some help.’
Oh no! I should have offered to stay but I still had a few last-minute gifts to get. Especially now that Sam and the children were here. I ought to get them something. I glanced at Mum but she wasn’t looking in my direction.
‘What do you think, Jack and Holly? Can you make gingerbread men?’
She was asking the children so that Sam could go into town. Well done, Esther! Was she coming out on the other side of the menopause with a brand-new heart?
‘Yes please!’ Holly shouted. ‘Can I, Daddy?’
‘I don’t know. Are you sure, Esther? I mean, won’t they get under your feet?’
‘Not at all.’ Mum smiled and her eyes actually lit up. ‘I’d love to have their company.’
‘Can I make gingerbread soldiers instead?’ Jack asked.
‘If you like.’ Esther raised her eyebrows, probably wondering how she’d create that particular shape and if they’d have to have guns.
‘Okay. Thank you, Esther. I’ll owe you.’ Sam flashed Mum a smile and she waved her hand at him. She always did have a soft spot for him, and she was really disappointed when Sam and I split up. But she’d also said that in light of what had happened, it might be best for both of us.
‘No trouble at all, Sam. Come on then, team. Into the kitchen we go.’
‘I’ll just take Sportacus and Stephanie on a quick walk then I’ll be ready,’ Sam said.
‘We just need to brush our teeth,’ Karl said and he and Angelo headed upstairs. I tried not to notice how Karl patted Angelo’s backside. I hoped they weren’t off for a quickie. Dad and Gina went into the drawing room and I was left alone with Sam.
‘What’s up, Katie?’
‘Huh?’
‘You’re nervous.’
‘No I’m not.’
‘You are. You’re twisting your hair. You always do that when you’re nervous.’
‘Oh.’
‘So what is it?’
‘Sam?’
‘Yeah?’ He ran a large hand through his hair and I followed it, wishing I could trace its path.
‘Who are Stephanie and Sportacus?’
‘Come with me,’ he replied, then took my hand and pulled me towards the front door.
The air was clear and crisp outside and I took deep, greedy breaths of it, savouring how it chilled my throat and made my nose tingle. We skidded and slipped our way down the driveway until we got to the elm tree arch, then Sam took a sharp left onto a snow-covered path that I hadn’t noticed the day before. We walked around a bordering hedge, then a pretty building came into view. It was made of the same red brick as the manor but was much smaller. It had ivy growing up one side of its double front and smoke poured from the chimney, suggesting that a real fire burned invitingly inside.
‘This is the lodge,’ Sam said.
‘It’s cute.’ It’s not a puppy, Katie!
He was still holding my hand and the warmth of his palm seared into mine, making me almost forget about how cold the rest of me was. It felt so natural, so comfortable and so right. But that was silly. How could it be right? There was nothing between us except for memories.
When we reached the door, he unlocked it, then stood back to allow me to go in. He’d done that last night too. He was good looking and a gentleman; I’d forgotten so much. Or had I just not allowed myself to remember?
I walked into a cosy hallway and felt Sam right behind me. He moved forwards, his mouth just millimetres from my ear. His breath was hot on my neck. My skin tingled and I got that quivering sensation in my knees again.
‘Katie,’ he whispered. What was happening here? My brain went into overdrive.
‘Yes,’ I whispered in reply.
‘Creep across to the lounge.’ He pointed at an open doorway on the right. Why did we have to creep?
I did as he asked and when I got there I stopped and peered into the room. And heard snoring. Very loud and comical snoring. Sam gestured at a large dog bed in front of the fireplace and said, ‘That’s Stephanie and Sportacus.’ Two huge red and white British bulldogs lay on the rectangular cushion, their heads hanging off the side, their bodies mirroring each other as the fire crackled behind a heavy iron fireguard. Their thick pink tongues hung from their mouths and their bodies rose and fell in perfect unison.
‘Yours?’ I asked.
Sam nodded.
‘But why those names?’
‘Long story.’ He grinned.
‘I have time,’ I said. But my heart skipped a beat. What if it was painful for him to speak about? What if it was linked to his wife and he got upset and I ruined his Christmas because I’d prompted him?
‘Well basically, after I lost Maria, I…it was a very hard time and…’
Oh no, I’d messed up and now he was sad.
‘It’s okay.’ I placed a finger on his lips, then realised what I’d done and hastily removed it.
‘It’s fine, Katie. I’m not about to burst into tears or anything.’ Looking at his face, I wasn’t sure. He wore the expression of a man who’d suffered but was trying to keep going for the sake of his children. ‘Anyway, the short version is that I got the dogs six months ago to give me and the kids another focus. I thought it would be good for us. They got their names because Holly was obsessed with a programme called Lazytown.’
‘And they were names of the characters?’
He nodded. ‘I wanted to name them cool things after Star Wars characters or Dexter or even Friends at a push but Holly was insistent and it seemed silly to disappoint her. Of course, now that she doesn’t watch Lazytown any more…’ He shrugged.
I laughed with him. ‘Well they’re really sweet.’
‘Just watch out when they wake up though. Sportacus has a tendency to slobber and they don’t mind sharing their fur.’
And at that moment, the dogs stirred and noticed us and, boy, did I find out exactly how much damage two bulldogs can do to black leggings.
***
Half an hour later, after I’d changed and given my boots a thorough brushing, Sam and I stood in the barn waiting for Karl to unlock his shiny silver Freelander. I admired the brand-new vehicle that made me feel tiny as I stood next to it.
‘I wouldn’t fancy trying to park something that size, Karl,’ I called as my brother approached the barn.
He laughed. ‘Katie, with your lack of spatial awareness, I wouldn’t recommend it either.’
‘Hey!’ I frowned but giggled. Karl was right. I drove my treasured Beetle carefully, well aware of my own weaknesses but I loathed parking. Ann is amazing. She could park a lorry on a five-pence piece. But me? I had to find the empty spaces in supermarket car parks that were miles away from the store and as for parallel parking, forget it.
I climbed into the back seat next to Sam and buckled up while Angelo sat up front with Karl. I’d hoped that Sam would be in the back as I wanted the chance to talk to him some more.
‘Do you know, Angelo, it took Katie three attempts to pass her driving test?’ Karl asked as he reversed out of the barn then turned the vehicle and
made his way down the driveway.
‘Was it really three?’ Sam raised his eyebrows. ‘I only recall it being two.’
I blushed. ‘I only told you about the first failure. It was so embarrassing. Everyone else in sixth form was sailing through in their lunchtimes and there I was going through it again and again. I blame that horrid examiner I had the first two occasions though.’
‘Wasn’t he ex-army or something?’ Karl adjusted his mirror and I met his eyes.
‘Yeah.’ I shivered. Even now, after all those years, the thought of that driving examiner with his short, sharp bark and his incessant headshaking every time I did something wrong was the stuff of nightmares.
Sam eyed me carefully. ‘You cold?’
‘Just recalling the horrors of the driving test.’
‘Well at least you never have to go through it again,’ Sam said and I nodded.
‘The third time was different though. I had a lovely examiner who put me completely at ease. I think that the second test was doomed the moment I saw that I had that military tyrant again.’
Sam shook his head. ‘I can’t understand it, personally. You were such a sweet little thing—’
‘Believe me, she was bad!’ Karl interrupted. But his words drifted over my head like smoke on the breeze. Sam had said that I was a sweet little thing. I bit my lip as memories started emerging and my heart fluttered. I couldn’t go there, couldn’t allow all that pain to resurface. Emotion was just too draining.
‘So how long until we get to Tonbridge?’ I asked my brother.
Wish Upon a Christmas Cake Page 6
