Maybe tonight he’d managed to make a tiny bit of an impression on her.
Perhaps she was just as impressed with him as he was with her.
**
When Faith arrived home she let herself into her well-lit house, thankful she’d decided to leave a few lights on. For some reason she always felt strange about a darkened house. Growing up her parents had always left lights on when they went out. There was something heartwarming and cozy about returning to a well-lit home.
You don’t have to feel badly about your scars, Faith.
Those words spoken this evening by Micah played around and around in her head as she took a quick shower before bedtime and performed her nightly ritual of toner, moisturizer, tooth brushing and putting her hair into two ponytails. She gazed at herself in the mirror once she’d put her sleeveless nightgown on. Faith hated being hot at night so she tended to wear night clothes that allowed her skin to breathe. The twisted brown scars on her arms had become something she’d gotten used to over the years. She’d always thought of them as hideous. Something to be ashamed of.
Battle scars. Never in her life had she thought of her ugly burn scars as having been forged through a battle for her life. And she had fought like a warrior to make it out of her family’s home in the midst of a raging fire. She had tried valiantly to save her parents, but there had been no possible way to walk through fire to get to their bedroom. She remember her father attempting to get to her to try and help, but being overcome by the smoke and fire.
Do not fear for I am with you. That verse had sustained her during the worst moments of her life. God had been with her in the absence of the two people she’d loved most in the world. Her parents. And He had seen her through the darkest of days. There had to be a reason for it, she imagined. Her life had been spared from a fiery inferno while her parents had perished. Although she always tried to tell herself she should live her best life since her parents couldn’t live theirs, she knew she’d always fallen short. She was living, but she wasn’t pushing herself out of her comfort zone. She wasn’t stretching.
Being around Micah made her want to stretch and grow and soar. It was such a strange feeling since they really hadn’t known each other all that long. It made her think of what her father had once told her about meeting her mother. “Baby girl, she made me want to become a different sort of man, one who thought of someone else before I thought of myself. It didn’t happen overnight. The changes were little by little until all of a sudden I was a changed person. I could feel something shifting inside me from the very start.”
The feelings were confusing. It wasn’t as if she and Micah were in any type of romantic relationship. They barely knew each other. What was happening to her? What was Micah Donahue doing to her? Faith wrapped her arms around her middle and stared at herself in the mirror. A shift was happening inside her, and it was both exhilarating and frightening. For so long now she’d known her limits. She’d walked in the safe places, never pushing herself past the line. To do so would be inviting scrutiny or judgement about her scars. But not doing so was holding her back. She wasn’t living her best life possible.
And she and she alone knew the reason why.
Faith still harbored guilt for the blaze that had killed her parents and destroyed her family home. And with each passing year Faith’s guilt seemed to magnify. No one but God knew about Faith’s guilt or the reasons she felt responsible for the fire. She hadn’t dared to tell a soul, especially not Uncle Ed and Aunt Millie. If she had, they might not have wanted to take her in to live with their family. She would have been completely alone in the world.
Leaving her mother’s curling iron on in their bedroom had been the reason for the devastating fire. She was sure of it. Nothing else made sense to Faith. Her poor parents had been victims of her carelessness. It had cost them their lives. Forgiving herself was impossible.
And even though Micah’s mere presence in her world inspired her to live out loud, she knew she couldn’t until she forgave herself. It had always felt far more reasonable to punish herself for her foolish and deadly mistake. Teaching and becoming a choir leader were both ways in which she had been allowed to give back to the community. Service. It was fitting to dedicate her life to serving others. Perhaps it would serve as a penance for what she’d done. She loved being a teacher and leading the choir, but more than her own satisfaction she wanted to make amends.
As she tucked herself under the covers and turned out the Tiffany-style light on her side table, Faith found herself yet again praying for closure.
Dear Lord. Please let me find a way to forgive myself. It’s the path toward healing myself so I can move forward in my life. I’ve been so stuck all of these years. It’s like I’ve been walking in cement, never truly moving forward. Please grant me the courage to take the necessary steps toward mending the broken parts of me.
“Love is important. I’m not sure I’ll ever find it, but just watching my parents my whole life has shown me the importance of walking through life with another person who is your other half.” Daniel Donahue
Chapter Five
The May sun shone down so brightly Micah had beads of sweat gathering on his forehead. He loved the heat. It was one of the best parts of being a Floridian. For him there was nothing better than being in the great outdoors and letting the sun kiss his skin. It was the weekly family gathering of the Donahue brood. Normally they met up on Sundays after church service, but this week was different since there was a birthday party being held at the Silver Spoon on Sunday. So here it was, a Saturday afternoon at the family home and everyone had gathered for food, family and fellowship.
Life in the Donahue clan was different these days. Even when they were all gathered together it wasn’t something they could ignore. The separation of his parents had been a tough pill to swallow. He still couldn’t wrap his head around it. At what point had they started drifting apart? He couldn’t help but wonder if there was some issue they hadn’t told their children about. Some of his siblings thought their parents would find their way back to one another, and although Micah wished it would happen with all of his heart, he didn’t want to believe in something that might never happen. The disappointment would be acute.
Ever since he was a kid Micah had resisted believing in things that could disappoint him. His parents had instilled in him a belief in happily ever after. And although he hadn’t come close to establishing a serious relationship with a woman, Micah knew it was possible to meet your other half. Love was a tangible goal.
Matter of fact, three of his siblings had found the love of their lives in the last year. Parker and Cadence had been separated by lies and deception, but had found their way back to each other. Their adorable son Logan made their circle complete. Caleb had found happiness and everlasting love with his wife, Addie. And his brother Heath had battled post-traumatic stress disorder after serving in the military, only to end up marrying his high school sweetheart, Bella, and welcoming a baby girl, Chelsea, a few months ago. His niece was all kinds of adorable. The little crumb snatcher made him wonder about his own future kids. Would they look like him? Or their mother? It felt strange to have these thoughts running through his head. He had never thought of himself as the fatherly type or as someone who would settle down.
But after watching his three brothers fall so gloriously in love, Micah’s feelings had changed. Their lives had been enhanced by love. And Parker and Heath were both wonderful fathers to their kids. Just watching them caused an ache in his chest. At the moment they were all gathered in the back yard playing croquet. Micah had never been terribly good at the game, so he was sitting and watching as hilarity ensued. Nash was winning, but his siblings were trying to do everything possible to knock him out of the game. Daniel, who was always stoic, was going after Nash with calculated precision. It seemed to be driving Nash a little bit crazy since he was muttering in frustration.
“This is supposed to be fun,” Penelope called out, right before she hit
Nash’s ball and knocked him several feet from where he’d been.
“Seriously?” Nash asked, a look of astonishment etched on his face. With his boy next door features, it was doubly funny to see him so outraged. “Is this gang up on Nash day?”
Micah chuckled as his mother hid her smile behind her hand. “I promise it wasn’t intentional darling,” she said, blowing Nash a kiss. Nash rolled his eyes.
Rafferty swung his mallet and barely avoided clocking Jason in the face.
“Whoa. Watch it, Fitz!” Jason shouted, using the childhood nickname for Rafferty. He ran a hand over his face. “This face is way too pretty to get banged up.”
Everyone laughed at Jason’s comment. Although Jason was handsome, they all knew he was joking. He wasn’t the conceited type. His recovery from drug addiction had left him humble and grateful to be alive. Micah admired him more than he could ever express in words. His brother had been through many hellish years before being adopted as a Donahue.
“That’s right,” Jude said, clapping his son on the shoulder. “We pretty boys need to watch out for facial injuries.” He ran his arm across his forehead. “Who knew croquet was such a killer game.”
“Why don’t we take a lemonade break and get some food going on the grill?” Addie suggested.
“Great idea!” Cadence said, shooting her sister-in-law a grateful look. “I’m starting to melt out here.”
Micah beckoned them to the shaded area where he was sitting. “Come on over here ladies where it’s nice and cool.”
Addie and Cadence both joined him without hesitation, much to the displeasure of everyone else who was playing. A chorus of boos followed them, along with a few groans. Bella was already sitting a few feet away from him in the shade as she cradled Chelsea in her arms.
“Remind me never to join this crowd for croquet,” Bella said with a shake of her head.
“Hey. Where’s Shayla?” Cadence asked, looking around for her.
Micah frowned. “She said she’d be here. She must have hit traffic or something.”
The sound of the screened in porch door opening caused them all to turn in the direction of the house. Micah almost spit out his lemonade when he saw Shayla sailing through the door with Faith at her side. Faith—looking resplendent in a peach sweater and a summery skirt—looked a bit nervous as Shayla led her along by the hand.
Micah jumped up from his seat, managing to spill his glass of lemonade in the process. He reached for some paper towels and began cleaning up the mess with the help of Cadence and Addie. “You look as if you just saw a ghost,” Cadence murmured close to Micah’s ear.
Judging by the satisfied smile on Cadence’s face she was making a subtle statement about Faith and his reaction to seeing her. Micah opened his mouth to say something, but he suddenly realized there was nothing he could say to dispute it. Seeing Faith arriving at his family’s home was a very welcomed sight.
He stood up and greeted the two ladies. “Hey, there sis,” he said as Shayla grabbed him up in a hug.
“Your shirt is a little wet,” Shayla said, patting the front of his shirt.
He looked down at the huge wet spot. “No worries. As hot as it is out here it will dry in a matter of minutes.” His gaze wandered to Faith. “Hi, Faith. Fancy seeing you here.”
“Micah,” she said with a nod. She jerked her chin in Shayla’s direction. “Your sister practically dragged me here. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
He threw back his head and laughed. “Sounds like Shaya. She’s been like that ever since she was a baby. It’s safe to say she has all of us in check and firmly wrapped around her finger.”
Faith looked around the back yard. Micah followed her gaze. From the backyard you could smell the briny sea air and catch a glimpse of the beautiful shores of Pelican Bay Beach. “Your family home is lovely. It must have been great to live here right by the beach. It’s such a tranquil setting.”
“Yes it was pretty amazing. That’s one of the reasons I bought a house near the water. The sound of the ocean was engrained in me by the time I was a toddler.”
Micah quickly introduced her to Cadence, Bella and Addie, who all gave her a warm welcome.
Faith leaned down and touched Chelsea’s arm. “She’s beautiful,” Faith said, her voice brimming with awe.
“Thanks,” Bella said. “I think we’ll keep her.”
Suddenly, Rafferty came walking over toward them. “Hey, Faith,” he said in a voice brimming with enthusiasm. Faith looked slightly startled when Rafferty leaned in and embraced her, kissing her on the cheek. “It’s great to see you again.”
Something told Micah that Faith wasn’t used to demonstrative people. Shayla should have warned her about being in the presence of a house full of Donahue’s. There would be hugs galore. None of ‘em was the hand shaking type. Not a single one.
“Likewise, Rafferty.” Her blue eyes clouded over. “I-is Pamela here?” she asked breathlessly.
Rafferty’s smile faded a bit. “Unfortunately she had other plans. Something about a makeup party.” His grin returned. “I think she’s scouting out makeup artists for our wedding. I keep telling her she doesn’t need a stitch of makeup to be beautiful, but she never listens.”
Faith eked out a little smile. “That’s exciting.” As a reader of body language, Micah determined that Faith didn’t think it was exciting at all. Her demeanor when she’d asked about Pamela had been very telling. She didn’t like her cousin very much. Micah was certain of it. From what he’d observed about Faith, she was kind and mature. She didn’t seem like the type of woman who would invest in petty grudges with people, especially her own relatives. And given the fact that she had been raised by Pamela’s family after losing her own parents, it was stranger still to see signs of division between the two women.
Apparently, the croquet game was over since everyone came streaming in their direction seeking lemonade and shelter from the sun. His parents greeted Faith like an old friend. The smile she gave them threatened to take his breath away. He thought Faith was beautiful, but when she smiled he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Shayla came over and introduced Faith to the rest of their siblings. Parker. Jason. Daniel. Nash. Caleb. Heath. One after another the introductions were made. He almost felt sorry for Faith. There were so many members of his family to hug and greet.
He leaned in to Faith and whispered, “Don’t worry about remembering all of their names.”
Faith smirked at him. “Honestly, I’m not even going to try. I’m terrible with names. You should see me on the first day of school. I’m hopeless.”
“I bet you’re a great teacher,” he said, as a sudden memory of Mrs. Craddock flashed before him. He winced. Even after all these years he still felt the sting of humiliation over her cruel disdain for him. It still had the power to make him feel less than.
Faith frowned. “What was that look for? Did you have a bad experience with a teacher?”
Micah was stunned by her ability to read his expression. Had he been that obvious?
“Honestly, yes. When I was in fifth grade I had this abominable teacher named Mrs. Craddock. She was hateful. She didn’t like me, thought I was as dumb as a rock and basically ruined my life for that year. Sad thing is, it stayed with me past that year.” He coughed to clear his throat. “It’s kind of pitiful, but I still feel that sting of rejection.”
Faith made a tutting sound. “How terrible it must have been for you. No teacher should ever make a student feel like that. It’s our sacred duty to make children feel nurtured and enriched by our presence in their lives. Not to mention it’s the Christian thing to do.”
Micah snorted. “I’m not sure if she was a woman of faith, but she sure didn’t act like one. I overheard her once talking about me and how stupid I was.” He shuddered. “At the time I was struggling a bit and no one really knew it at the time but I’m dyslexic.”
Faith didn’t react to his disclosure about being dyslexic. Her expression was shutter
ed. “I teach many dyslexic students and they’re all very bright, Micah. They just learn differently so I have to be aware of that and allow them to learn in a way that allows them to perform at their best. I’m so sorry you didn’t have the type of teacher who lifted you up.”
“It’s all water under the bridge. I wasn’t diagnosed until years later. They thought I had attention deficit disorder so I went down a few rabbit trails for a while. It was such a blessing to finally get a diagnosis. It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.”
Faith’s nodded her head enthusiastically. “Of course! I’m sure it was as if a veil had been lifted from your face.”
“Thanks for understanding. It’s been a long road. It’s kind of rare when people get it.”
“I get it, Micah. Believe me, I do. And from what I’ve seen from working with dyslexic kids, I know you’ve worked very hard to achieve your success.”
“I appreciate you saying so. Getting diagnosed was a relief, to be honest. It anchored me to something. I didn’t feel dumb anymore. One of the first things I did was research famous people with dyslexia. Tom Cruise. Whoopi Goldberg. Walt Disney. Knowing that gave me a sense of power. I knew I could achieve things despite my dyslexia.”
“Shayla told me you’ve done commercials and parts in television shows and movies. It takes a lot to memorize scripts.”
“I’ve developed quite a few tricks for learning dialogue. Not the easiest thing for someone with a language based learning disability. I’ve also learned to lean on the Lord in those moments when I’m truly feeling challenged.”
“God carries us through the storms.” Faith held up her lemonade glass. “Cheers to pushing past adversity.”
Tenderly (Seven Brides Seven Brothers Pelican Bay) Page 8
