by Ashley John
“What are we doing?” Joshua slowly closed his eyes, “I should go home.”
“Stay,” Ezra’s hand darted out and rested on Joshua’s leg, “if you want, I’ll sleep in the other room.”
Why the fuck did I say that?
All of sudden, he didn’t feel the urge to take advantage of Joshua.
“You paid for this suite,” Joshua rubbed his forehead, “you think me and Levi always got separate beds?”
He jerked his head to the other side of the bed, signalling for Ezra to join him. Ezra settled onto his side on the other side of the bed, leaving a small gap between them. He stared at Joshua’s profile for a second before he twisted to mirror Ezra’s position.
Breathing quickly in the dark, they stared at each other motionlessly.
“This time yesterday I was in India,” Joshua smirked, “but this is a whole lot weirder.”
“That explains the tan.”
He smiled and blinked slowly.
“Do you ever wonder where your life is going?”
“All of the time,” Ezra’s stomach knotted at his sudden honesty.
“Me too,” he said, “I travel so much, I never have time to stand still and question things but I’ve questioned more in these last twelve hours than ever before.”
“That bang on the head must have knocked some sense into you.”
Joshua laughed softly, his stomach rising and falling. Ezra’s eyes glanced down to Joshua’s crotch and to his surprise he saw that he still had a semi. In fact, it looked even harder than when they had been awkwardly pressed up against each other. Ezra felt his own cock spring forwards to fight against the tightness of his white Calvin Klein’s.
“I should really go,” Joshua said but he didn’t move, “they’ll be wondering where I’ve gone.”
“It’s not even nine yet,” Ezra said.
“I should go,” he blinked heavily but he still didn’t move.
“Why?”
Joshua opened his eyes, a sudden clarity shining in his diamond blues through the dark, “Because I really want to kiss you.”
“So go,” Ezra almost choked on his words, “or stay and kiss me.”
In any other situation, Ezra would have taken that as his nudge to pounce on Joshua but he found himself wanting Joshua to make the first move.
“I can’t.”
“Why?” he really wanted him to kiss him.
“Because it’s not -,” Joshua’s voice trailed off.
His eyes closed tight, his hand darted behind Ezra’s head and he yanked him in so their mouths could crash together. Breathing out deeply through his nose, Joshua crammed his lips up against Ezra’s, hardly kissing him but not pulling apart.
His eyes opened and a mixture of shock, fear and passion swirled through the crystal blue pigment. Deciding he needed to show him the way through, Ezra opened his mouth and closed his eyes. Slowly but surely, Joshua’s lips parted and their tongues met.
Ezra had kissed a thousand guys and he’d probably fucked more but nobody had ever made him feel so nervous. He tried to convince himself it was because Joshua seemed so unsure but he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he’d been taken back to being an inexperienced teenager.
As a teen, all of Ezra’s conquests had been women, which meant he was fully experienced by the time he found men. Thinking about being a teenager made him think about Jade and in turn, he thought about the fire. It wasn’t long before he was thinking about Lily and it was far too late to stop the guilt and pain surging through his body.
This is what I was doing the night of the fire. I was fucking a guy the night she died.
He surprised himself and pulled away from the kiss. He didn’t just pull away from the kiss, he pulled away from Joshua, putting the distance between them again.
“What?” Joshua squinted, his lips red, “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Ezra rolled over onto his back and stared up at the posts of the bed, “I – I just – it doesn’t matter.”
Joshua sat up and twisted his body to him. The way he swayed let Ezra know that he was as drunk as he should be from the amount he’d drank and it was clearly starting to catch up with him.
“Tell me,” Joshua demanded.
Ezra thought about opening up for a moment but he internally laughed off the idea. He didn’t know Joshua, despite the bizarre connection he felt towards him. He never spoke about Lily to anybody and he wasn’t about to start talking about her to a random guy he’d picked up in the bar and wasn’t able to fuck.
So much for a distraction.
“You asked me why I needed a distraction,” Ezra started, “well, the reason I did – I just remembered and it -,”
“Oh,” Joshua laughed, dropping his head, “I thought I’d done something wrong.”
Ezra joined him in laughing.
“You thought you were a bad kisser?”
“Oh, I know I’m not,” Joshua smiled with confidence, “enough people have told me I’m a good kisser.”
Ezra wanted to argue but he was right.
“Fair play,” Ezra winked, “you are.”
They sat in silence, both staring into the dark. A strange tension filled the bedroom. It wasn’t how he’d expected the night to turn out.
Joshua collapsed back onto the bed and rolled onto his side. Ezra copied, so they were both back in their starting positions. He glanced down to Joshua’s cock and even though there was a bulge, it didn’t look hard.
For the first time in Ezra’s life, he suddenly didn’t want to fuck the guy he was sharing a bed with. What the fuck is wrong with me?
“I’m tired,” Joshua yawned.
“Me too,” Ezra could feel his eyelids drooping, “so much for a party.”
Joshua rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling and Ezra did the same. Their shoulders jammed up against each other’s but Joshua didn’t edge away.
They lay in silence for what seemed like a lifetime before Joshua edged in even closer. It didn’t take long for Joshua’s chest to start slowly rising and falling and eventually, Ezra succumbed and did the same.
He couldn’t remember the last time it had been so easy to get to that place.
Whoever you are right now, you don’t have the right to call yourself Ezra Steele.
“Where did you get to last night?” Levi asked as they walked along Fleet Street, “I heard you creeping in about five.”
The question Joshua had been dreading all morning. Somehow, he’d managed to avoid it over breakfast but he knew that was mainly because Violet wouldn’t stop apologising to Joshua.
“Nowhere, really,” he sipped at the plastic coffee lid they had picked up from one of the hundreds of coffee shops London seemed to have, “I just stayed in that bar. I met some people and hung out with them.”
It was closer to the truth than he’d have liked it to be. He’d been very drunk but that didn’t stop the memories burning around in his mind.
You kissed him. He didn’t kiss you, you kissed him.
“So you didn’t get lucky with that chick behind the bar?”
Another question Joshua had been dreading. Not because he’d clearly been a massive creep and not because he didn’t stand a chance with the girl but because of who he’d met and what had happened. If it wasn’t for the sound of the early morning birds outside the hotel window, he probably wouldn’t have woken up. He didn’t remember falling asleep so when he woke up, he was surprised to find himself in the arms of another man. He’d let Ezra hold him for a couple of minutes before he’d wriggled free to creep out of the bedroom.
Nothing happened. It could have been worse. You’ve kissed a guy before, it’s not a big deal.
“Turned out she was a lesbian,” he lied.
“Oh?” Levi suddenly seemed more interested, “Even better. Does she have friends?”
As the hangover lingered in the back of his mind, he forced down more coffee but Violet’s full English breakfast was sitting uncomfortab
ly in his stomach.
“I think this is it,” Joshua looked at the address he’d jotted down on his phone and looked up at the building, glad of the excuse to drop the conversation.
They stopped outside a black door sandwiched between another coffee shop and a boutique with only white and gold dresses in the window. It reminded him of something his mum would have worn, which reminded him of money, which reminded him of Ezra. Dammit!
Squinting at the buzzer box he traced his finger along the names until he found ‘Tobias Cole’.
“Hello?” the grainy voice of a woman crackled through the speaker.
“Um, hi, It’s Joshua Silverton. I have a meeting with -,”
“The door’s open,” he heard a buzz and the black door clicked.
“You go through that door and everything changes,” Levi whispered, rubbing Joshua’s shoulders from behind, “riches beyond our wildest dreams.”
“Erm, my wildest dreams, mate,” he laughed, “you still have your parents feeding you money.”
“Just think,” he whispered, “we’ll be able to travel anywhere, no questions asked.”
He wanted to get out of London faster than ever before, he just hoped it would be a quick process. He doubted he’d have the money, house and company before the end of the day but he hoped they could get the ball rolling before he left.
If Violet hadn’t made him promise that morning that he wouldn’t do a runner the second he’d seen Tobias, he’d be too tempted to head straight to the airport.
He told himself not to think about Ezra but the arrogant smile forced its way through his memory. You were jet lagged, you banged your head and you were drunk.
“Let’s just get this meeting out of the way, yeah?” Joshua shook his head.
Stop thinking about Ezra Fucking Steele!
Yanking open the heavy door, he swallowed his fear and shrugged Levi’s hands away, ready to face his future.
“Wait here,” Joshua turned around before Levi stepped inside.
“Aw, what?” Levi sighed, “Really, dude?”
“Grab a coffee next door,” Joshua tucked his hair behind his ears, trying his best to smooth it down, “I’ll meet you in there.”
Reluctantly, Levi rolled his eyes and sloped down the street, leaving Joshua alone. The second he stepped into the office, he stopped thinking about Ezra Steele and he started thinking about Bill Silverton; he wasn’t sure who was worse.
In the lift ride up to the third floor where Tobias’ office was, he tried to calm himself but the more he tried to force it, the more his hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
“Hi there,” Joshua approached the receptionist’s desk, wiping his sweaty palms on the back of his tight jeans, “It’s Joshua Silverton. I think we just spoke on the intercom?”
Before she even had chance to look up from her computer, Tobias Cole appeared in the doorframe of his office.
“Joshua!”
Where he’d expected to see a suave man in his mid-forties with thick, gelled black hair, he saw a bald man in his early fifties wearing a suit too tight for his bulging gut. He looked less like a mafia member and more like a pizza joint owner.
“Tobias Cole,” Joshua stared in disbelief as he tried to recognise the man he used to know, “Long time no see.”
Tobias held his hand out but Joshua ignored it, instead pulling him into a quick hug, followed by a manly pat on the back. He’d spent so many hours with Tobias in police stations and court rooms with both of them lying through their teeth most of the time, he felt like they were beyond handshakes.
“I wish we could have met in better circumstances,” his face turned solemn when he sat behind his desk, “this can’t be easy for you, lad.”
“When did we ever meet in good circumstances?”
“True,” the thick lines around his eyes crinkled as he smiled, “like the new office?”
“Fleet Street,” Joshua nodded, looking around the book lined wood panel walls, “you’ve moved up the ladder a few pegs.”
Tobias shuffled through a couple of the papers on his desk forcing Joshua’s mind straight to the money. Tobias pretended to read something before looking under his hooded lids.
“This can’t be easy for you,” he said, “your dad wouldn’t have wanted it to happen like this.”
Joshua suddenly realised he didn’t know how his father had died. Violet had shied away from the details, obviously feeling guilty for never telling Joshua. The more he knew, the less easy it would be for him to detach. You can’t keep distracting yourself forever.
“We all die one day,” Joshua straightened up.
It sounded like the right thing to say, but it didn’t land like he’d hoped, sounding unusually cold for him. He didn’t have a heart of stone. Tobias arched his faded brows, the light reflecting off of his shiny, bald scalp.
“I must say, I never expected you to call. The last I heard, you were in France.”
“I was for a couple of months, years ago, but I’ve been in India for the last six months.”
“India,” he seemed impressed, “I’ve always wanted to go there, but it all seems a little dirty.”
“It’s not so bad,” he suddenly felt defensive about the country that had been his temporary home, “the weather is better than here.”
“I don’t think I could cope with the heat,” he chuckled.
Itching to change the subject toward more important matters, Joshua fidgeted and edged closer to the desk.
“Why hadn’t you expected me to call?”
Carefully, Tobias reached out, ignoring the paperwork in front of him. He pulled a leather-bound folder towards him. Why didn’t I notice that before? It looked unusually thin. With delicate ease like it could crumble at any moment, he opened the folder and pulled out a tiny envelope. Joshua’s name was written on it and he recognised his dad’s handwriting.
“When I didn’t hear from you after the funeral, I thought you must have found out some other way. I did wait for your call but eventually, I just accepted that you must not have wanted it.”
Wanted his inheritance? He thought Tobias knew him better than that.
“Tobias, I’m here now. Let’s just get down to business,” Joshua wanted to reach out for the letter but he stopped himself, “have you got the paperwork?”
“Paperwork?” he scrunched up his face, “What paperwork?”
Had he lost his touch in his old age?
“You did take care of my father’s will, didn’t you?”
“Of course,” he seemed offended at the question, “but I don’t think we’re on the same page.”
Joshua couldn’t help but think they were on different pages of different books in separate libraries. His eyes wandered down to the letter again, his fingers trembling. It is his handwriting.
Leaning back, Tobias tugged at the buttons on the suit jacket, letting his stomach pop forwards, the chair creaking under his weight.
“Have you got the will?”
“Somewhere,” he glanced over to the filing cabinet, “is it important?”
“Why do you think I’m here, Tobias?” the impatience was loud and clear in his voice, “I didn’t come for a social visit.”
“I wasn’t quite sure,” he leaned forwards suddenly, pushing the letter across the desk, “I assumed somebody must have told you about the letter and you’d come to collect it?”
“What letter?” he cried, “I’m here for my damn inheritance, Tobias. Let’s cut to the chase and talk figures and time frames. I’m only in London for a couple of weeks and I need the money. I don’t have time to be playing your lawyer games. Cut the bullshit and get to the point.”
His cheeks burned red as he waited for Tobias to speak. The look in his stern eyes unsettled him.
“Joshua,” Tobias breathed in and out deeply, “I assumed you knew.”
“Why is everybody assuming things?” he locked his fingers behind his head, “I just want to know about my inheritance.”
&nb
sp; Tobias pinched between his brows and Joshua noticed tiny droplets of sweat forming on top of his scalp, dancing and glittering in the light as they slowly made their way in and out of the grooves on Tobias’ face.
“Joshua,” he said, “this, this is your inheritance.”
He tapped a chunky finger on the envelope.
“A letter?” Joshua laughed, “What’s in it? A treasure map? This isn’t funny.”
He was laughing but it was more from nerves than amusement. Tobias produced a silk handkerchief from inside his jacket to dab at the sweat.
“I really didn’t want to be the one to tell you this,” he sighed heavily, “I thought your father would have told you when he did it. I thought he was doing it when he was alive so you could give your blessing. He didn’t tell me much, so I didn’t know what was -,”
“Tobias!” he couldn’t hold back, “What are you talking about?”
Not only were his palms sweating but they were also shaking out of control. He clasped them together, hoping they would stop.
“Your father,” he started, “he signed everything over to a third party before he died. His will, it’s just a piece of paper because there is nothing to give you. It’s void. He didn’t have any assets in his name when he died.”
Tobias blurred out of focus, the shaking spreading to the rest of his body. Slamming his spine into the chair, he stared up at the ceiling, his eyes dancing around the delicate and ornate antique light fixture.
“A third party?”
“That’s all I know.”
“There is no third party!”
“I don’t know the details, Joshua. Like I was trying to tell you, he didn’t include me in any of this. He did it with another firm. They signed everything over and I got a letter saying that the will was no longer valid. I thought he had your blessing. I thought maybe you didn’t want his money.”
He felt every penny of that money dripping through his fingers, like sand in an hourglass. He wanted to grab hold of it, to keep it where it was but he was already a year too late.
“And Silverton Industries? The tower?”
“Everything,” Tobias dabbed his face again, “his entire estate went to the third party. The cars, the houses, the company and the money.”
