by Ashley John
“A party?” Violet’s ears pricked up.
“We can’t,” Joshua jumped in, “we need to go.”
“Wait, Joshua,” Violet closed her hand around his arm, “you were just saying you wanted to do something fun.”
Ezra could see Joshua trying his best to warn Violet away from the idea. She either wasn’t getting those signals, or she had a different agenda than her cousin.
“A party?” the other guy spoke with an American accent.
Ezra’s eyes darted over to him and he recognised him as the guy who’d been sat next to Joshua in the bar. When he’d first looked over to them sitting at the bar, his eyes had landed on his ‘typical twink’ looks but it wasn’t long before they had wandered over to Joshua’s less conventional beauty.
“What do you say, Joshua?” Ezra narrowed his eyes, “Your friends seem up for it. Are you going to be the one to say no to a party?”
“I barely know this guy,” Joshua whispered to Violet but loud enough so that Ezra could hear.
“So?” she winked, “It’ll give you the chance to get to know him, if you know what I -,.”
Joshua’s hand clamped tightly over her mouth, “Please, stop saying things.”
Admit you want to come with me. He knew Joshua could feel the pull that seemed to be dragging them together, even if he didn’t want to admit it.
“We haven’t done anything since we got here,” the friend was almost begging, “and you promised me a real London style party. Dude?”
“Yeah, dude,” Ezra whizzed his brows at Joshua.
Right then, the cousin and the friend were Ezra’s best friends. They were putting in all of the work for him.
“Fine,” Joshua cast his hands out, the beaded bracelets dropping down his tattooed forearms, “we’ll come for one drink.”
“One drink is all I need,” Ezra blinked softly, making sure to keep his sweet, charismatic demeanour, “my car is across the street. I’ll meet you in a minute. Nature calls.”
He ran off to the bathroom alone, the excitement ripping through his body. After everything that had happened just that morning, he hadn’t expected such a quick turnaround. He was going to grab the opportunity with both hands.
Scrolling through his contacts, he tried to find somebody who he’d know would be having a party on a Friday night.
“Howard? It’s Ezra. I heard you were having a party tonight?”
“This is beautiful,” Levi dared to run his finger along the bonnet of Ezra’s yellow Lamborghini.
Joshua wasn’t as impressed with it a second time. The paintwork has lost its sheen.
“You can thank me later,” Violet whispered, “you need some casual time with him to really sort things out.”
Highly doubting they were going to sort anything out, he wished Violet had kept her mouth shut. If he’d been alone, he could have rejected Ezra’s offer outright but he’d had Violet and Levi pulling on his legs like excited children.
Joshua turned to see Ezra heading out of the diner, keys already in his fist. Holding them in the air, he clicked a button and the car beeped and lit up. Walking confidently across the road towards them, he looked effortlessly gorgeous and Joshua hated that. He also hated himself for constantly noticing.
“Ready?” Ezra slapped Joshua on the arm.
“Nope.”
When they pulled up outside a luxurious apartment block in the city centre, Joshua knew he wasn’t ready to spend ‘casual time’ with Ezra. The last time they had been alone at night, regrettable things had happened. One drink and you can slip out without anybody noticing.
The party was exactly what Joshua had expected it to be like. It was a tamer version of the hundreds of parties he’d thrown as a teenager. Being in the penthouse apartment of a multi-million pound tower would excite some people but Joshua wasn’t one of them. It was almost like slipping back into a comfortable pair of worn out shoes.
Middle-aged men in suits drank alongside the rich trust fund kids, neither bothering about the age gap. They all shared the same motive, which was to get as fucked up as possible, as quickly as possible.
“These kids are putting us to shame,” Levi handed Joshua a bottle of beer, clinking the necks together, “we need to show them how it’s really done, Joshy Boy.”
Joshua knew they could drink anybody under the table but now wasn’t the time to prove that. Looking nervously around him, he waited for Ezra’s advances but they didn’t come. Where has he gone? There was something unsettling about knowing Ezra was around but not being able to see him. There was nothing scarier than a spider vanishing from your view when you’re trying to squash it.
“I’m not really feeling this place. It’s lame.”
“Oh c’mon! Loosen up, bro,” Levi massaged his shoulders, something he always did to try and relax Joshua on the nights he wasn’t in the mood to party – That won’t work tonight, Levi.
Violet mingled with the other attendees. She seemed to know half of them and Joshua was sure he recognised some of the older guests as the people he used to party with back in the day – I just hope they don’t recognise me. Scratching his beard, he knew he’d changed just enough not to be spotted.
He walked through the busy kitchen, everything marble, white and chrome but seeing the couples making out and the kids doing lines of cocaine on the counter didn’t excite him. He headed down the hall, bobbing his head into the bedroom, feeling like he was on an apartment viewing, rather than at a party. Ducking into the bathroom, he locked himself inside and leaned against the door, tossing his half-finished bottle of beer into the full laundry basket.
Closing his eyes, he took in a deep breath but the air felt stuffy and humid, despite it being cold outside.
Splashing his face with ice-cold water, he let it drip into his hair but it didn’t awaken him from his daze. He should have felt right at home but he didn’t.
“Anyone in there?” a voice boomed through the wood.
“Just a second,” Joshua mumbled, his voice shaky.
Stepping away from the mirror, he grabbed one of the fluffy towels and dabbed his face softly, letting the fabric soak up the water. Ducking out of the bathroom, not bothering to look at who’d interrupted him, he headed in the direction of the lobby. He tried not to make eye contact with anybody. He knew Violet and Levi would be fine without him, and Ezra would already be marking out his next toy.
He spotted Violet sitting on the kitchen counter, chatting to a guy in his early twenties, with Levi hovering by her side attempting to stare down her cleavage.
He slid through the door unnoticed, heading straight for the lift, almost running. He should never have agreed to the party. He tried to tell himself it was because Violet and Levi had seemed so up for it but Ezra had such a way with words, he seemed to be able to make Joshua say and do things he didn’t want to.
Jabbing the lift call button, he impatiently watched the lights jump from floor to floor. Not satisfied with the speed, he jabbed it again and again, needing the doors to slide open.
When they did, his heart almost sunk. Why him?
“Going somewhere?” Ezra smiled, clutching two bottles of champagne.
“Where have you been?” Joshua’s tone was almost accusatory.
“You can’t turn up to a party without a drink,” he held out the bottles, “I just ran to the shop on the corner. You didn’t answer my question.”
Joshua knew he couldn’t tell Ezra he wanted to leave. Somehow, he didn’t think he’d make it easy for him.
“I was just getting some air,” he lied, “this isn’t really my scene.”
“I thought this would have been your scene?” he leaned in and whispered, his musky scent drifting from his open shirt collar.
“Not anymore.”
“I guess people change, right?”
I feel like I’ve done nothing but change since I got back to this city.
“I guess,” he shrugged, “what of it?”
A soft smile tic
kled Ezra’s lips, “Change is good. It opens you up to new possibilities. C’mon, there’s a terrace on the roof. We can get some air up there.”
“I was just going to -,”
“I wasn’t asking,” his smile dropped, “give in for once, please?”
He jerked his head back to the lift and without even thinking about it, Joshua followed. Maybe it was easier to go along with Ezra? The more he seemed to resist, the worse things became.
The lift doors shuddered and closed, leaving Ezra to flip back a small panel, which had a tiny ‘Terrace’ label on it along with a small number keypad. He punched in the code and the lift started to move beyond the penthouse.
“How do you know the code?”
“I used to live here until -,”
“You’re living at Holland Park, aren’t you?”
Ezra didn’t need to reply for Joshua to know that it was true. Something about Ezra screamed that he’d fit right in at Holland Park. If he’d been left everything, that house would be part of the deal and he didn’t seem like the type to trade it in for something else.
“You can’t blame me,” he shrugged, “Your father had taste.”
Joshua hated how Ezra made him feel like he didn’t know his own father. He probably knows him better than you.
He followed Ezra out onto the terrace, the cold air wrapping around his exposed arms. It was a typical penthouse terrace, with a steaming hot tub in the centre, high plants and lights, all encased in a glass barrier. It had the perfect view over London, the skyscrapers of the city lighting up the starless sky. In the distance, he could see the London Eye, slowly turning through the night. He purposefully avoided looking in the direction of Silverton Tower, knowing it would probably make him resent Ezra’s company again. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing?
“It’s freezing,” Joshua rubbed his bare arms.
Without being asked, Ezra set the champagne bottles on the edge of the hot tub and wrapped his jacket around Joshua’s shoulders before he had time to protest. He hovered there, rubbing his skin through the fabric. Frozen in more ways than one, Joshua stared out at the skyline.
“I-I wasn’t hinting.”
“Keep it,” he rolled up the sleeves of his stiff, white shirt, “I’m fine.”
He perched on the edge of the hot tub, the water bubbling away behind them. With his legs crossed, the bulge in his trousers jutted out, even if Joshua pretended not to notice. Without even trying, he looked like a high fashion model.
Ezra pulled on the gold foil, yanked off the metal wire cage and with one gentle push, sent the cork shooting off into the night with a pop. It disappeared over the edge of the glass barrier, the champagne shooting out all over the wooden floor, splashing against Ezra’s shoes.
“We don’t have glasses,” Ezra mumbled, glancing around the terrace.
“I’ll get some,” Joshua shot out, pulling the jacket tighter around his shoulders as he sensed his way out.
“We’re men,” he winked, “we didn’t need them the other night.”
Raising the bottleneck to his mouth, he gulped down the champagne, letting the excess run down his chin. Joshua watched as it trickled down the side of his stubbly neck, disappearing into his shirt, his smooth chest glistening underneath.
He thought back to how they had drank from the bottle at The Dorchester but that felt like a much simpler time.
“Here,” he held the bottle out to Joshua.
He stared at the opening, imagining Ezra’s lips being around it and he almost wiped it with the sleeve of the jacket but he stopped himself, instead jamming it into his mouth.
He’d never liked champagne that much but he drank it all the same. It reminded him of all of the dull functions he’d been forced to attend as a child and a teen.
“I’m not used to this weather,” he passed the bottle back to Ezra, “English weather is completely shit.”
Ezra laughed and nodded in agreement, “I guess it’s different on the road.”
“We chase the sun. I haven’t seen snow in seven years.”
“That sounds pretty fun, actually,” Ezra looked up to the sky, the bottle dangling from his fingers, “sometimes I wish I could just get out of this city.”
“Are you fucking with me?” Joshua couldn’t tell, “You’re a millionaire because of my father and you want to get out of London?”
With a gentle shrug of his shoulders, he turned to Joshua and the sorrow in his eyes was obvious. He still didn’t know what pained Ezra. He’d tried so hard to hate him, he’d almost forgotten that connection he’d felt.
“Life isn’t as black and white as that,” he said, “you should know that.”
“Who’ve you lost?” the question left Joshua’s mouth before he even thought about it.
Trying to cover it up, he forcefully pulled the bottle from Ezra.
“Who said I’ve lost somebody?” just from the way Ezra’s brow wobbled, Joshua knew he was right.
“Nobody. I’m just guessing that’s why you needed a distraction.”
“You needed a distraction too,” Ezra snatched the bottle back.
“And you know why. When we met, I’d only known my dad had been dead for an hour but I have a feeling you’re still trying to distract yourself.”
“Have you got any more of those cigarettes?” Ezra laughed nervously.
Pulling the packet from his back pocket, Joshua took a cigarette out with his lips, offering his last one to Ezra.
“Are you sure you don’t want to work with me?” Ezra muttered as he lit the cigarette, “You’re good at reading people and you’re good at lying.”
“Lying?”
“You told me you had no cigarettes and I believed you.”
For the briefest of moments, Joshua found himself wanting to know what it would be like to work at Silverton Industries. Not only to see what he’d really been running from but to know what it would be like to work alongside Ezra. There was more to him than the sexually charged exterior he presented to the world and Joshua wanted to chip underneath that.
He’s becoming harder and harder to hate.
“You’re shivering,” Ezra leaned in and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, rubbing over the jacket.
“I’m fine,” Joshua tried to pull away as he felt Ezra’s fingers wrap tightly around his arm, pulling him into his side.
He stumbled sideways, falling into Ezra. The space where their bodies touched felt as hot as fire. It warmed Joshua but he could feel his skin shivering and not from the cold, in the same way his head was spinning and not from the champagne.
He practically inhaled half of the cigarette in a couple of seconds but he didn’t pull away.
Ezra’s fingers delicately pulled his fallen hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear. It was such a simple action but it spoke a thousand words. Everything Ezra did only served to further confuse Joshua.
“We can go back inside, if you want,” Ezra dropped his cigarette to the ground, stamping it out.
“No,” he said, “I can’t be bothered with the party.”
“Good,” he dropped his voice to a soft and silky husk, “I like it, like this.”
Joshua wanted to tell him to back off, that he had the wrong idea about him but he couldn’t speak. He didn’t feel cold because there was a fire burning in his chest.
“Ezra I -,” Joshua turned to face Ezra, instantly wishing he hadn’t.
They were so close, their eyes locked in a strange and silent gaze. He didn’t look down but he could see Ezra’s lips, glistening in the soft glow of the lights. It was the same feeling he’d felt on the bed in The Dorchester. He’d justified his stupidity by telling himself it was the alcohol and the bump to the head, so what was his excuse now? He’d only had a swig of champagne and his mental function was intact.
In a silly attempt to shake the feeling, he shook his head but it didn’t budge. As his breath quivered softly, the hand stopped rubbing his arm but it didn’t leave. Ezra’s fi
ngers gripped his shoulder, pulling Joshua even closer to him.
Ezra seemed so powerful and in charge, yet strangely tender. Just pull away, Joshua. It’s not worth the trouble.
The protests jammed in his throat, never making their way out of his mouth. He could hear the party jumping below and he knew it would be easier to push Ezra away with people watching. He could use their judgemental eyes as an excuse. Why did I agree to come up here?
On the terrace, they were the only two people in London and as Ezra closed his eyes, leaning in towards Joshua, all of his fears and doubts vanished. All he wanted was to feel Ezra’s lips touch his. When they did, it sent a burning desire running through Joshua’s entire body. It started at his lips before shooting deep into his core.
Being sober, kissing Ezra seemed different than he’d remembered. The bravado and ego had vanished, leaving behind something more raw and immediate.
Returning the kiss for the first time, Joshua pushed himself forwards, feeling his dry lips crash against Ezra’s softness. He shouldn’t have wanted it and he didn’t know why he did but in that moment, it was all he wanted.
“Ezra,” Joshua whispered, ready to launch into an angry protest but not sure if he wanted to.
“Don’t resist me, Joshua,” he whispered, their lips still briefly touching, eyes still tightly shut.
“This isn’t right.”
“It feels right.”
“You’re a guy,” Joshua could feel his desires slipping away, as the fear and confusion started to creep in.
Joshua wasn’t going to deny that he’d kissed guys before, but it had never been like this. Of course he’d kissed guys, always when blind drunk. He knew most guys had done it but it was something nobody ever seemed to speak about in the harsh light of day. It had always been something funny, spawning from a strange place of curiosity. There had never been passion or intention, until Ezra Steele.
“I-I-,”
“Don’t,” Ezra silenced him again with his lips.
It was even more electric the second time and the doubt lifted. This time the softness and delicacy vanished, leaving them to truly explore each other. The hand tightened even more on his shoulder, the perfectly trimmed nails digging through the jacket into his flesh. He wanted so badly to touch Ezra in return but his arms were frozen.
