After her dad turned away, Lincoln gave her a wink that made all the knots in her stomach ease a fraction. Maybe having him here with her wasn’t so bad, after all.
Dinner in Lincoln’s family home had never been a noisy affair. Often, by the time one of his parents had picked him up from after school care, it had been too late to make much of a meal and his mum had thrown together whatever she could find in the fridge while talking on the phone with a client or one of her colleagues. He’d eaten alone at the kitchen counter more often than not. As a teenager, he’d made his own meals and eaten in front of the television to avoid the silence of an otherwise empty house.
Nothing he’d had ever experienced could possibly have prepared him for dinner with Amber and her family. They’d barely sat down at the dining table before Amber and her sister began barraging Will with questions about his new life in Perth. Where was he living? Had he made many friends? Did he have a girlfriend? What was the sunset like on the western side of the country? During the brief periods they’d fall quiet, possibly to catch their breath, April had questioned Lincoln about his own life. What did he do for a living? Where had he grown up? How did he and Amber meet?
He’d quite enjoyed answering that last one. His estimation of the size and severity of the mud puddle Amber faced when he’d first noticed her on the footpath outside the house he’d been landscaping was slightly different from hers. Her corrections to his story, and the resulting banter, had left everyone at the table in stitches. Everyone except Harold O’Hara.
It didn’t take long for Lincoln to discover Amber’s father was a man of few words. His attempts to engage the older man in conversation were met with brevity and deep frowns. No-one else seemed to bother trying, as if it was well-known he would only contribute if he felt like it. Apparently, he felt like it right around the time April served dessert.
“How is that broom closet of yours going?” Harold asked Amber. “Any problems?”
“It’s an apartment, Dad, not a broom closet,” Amber replied with a hint of exasperation. “And everything is great. No problems at all.”
Lincoln wondered why Amber didn’t tell him about the basic maintenance issues she’d been having. Surely her dad would be happy to help out. If he ever had a daughter he’d go out of his way to make sure her home was in good repair.
Instead, Harold looked at him with a shake of his head. “I bought Amber a beautiful, big townhouse when she first started working in the city. Newly built and not far from here, so she could be close to her mother and me. But she flatly refused to move in. I had to rent it out to some stranger to avoid selling it again and she moved into some dingy place not fit for a girl.”
Amber kept her gaze lowered when she responded. “I’m not a girl anymore, Dad. I’m a grown woman and I wanted a place of my own. I told you that before you bought the townhouse.”
“I know you did, but it’s a hard world out there and you were always a fragile little thing.”
Lincoln caught the lift of his eyebrows before they got too far. Fragile little thing? That wasn’t an apt description of the Amber he knew.
Harold scooped a bite of cheesecake into his mouth, pointing his fork in Amber’s direction as he added, “I wanted to make things easier for you, you know that.”
“Yes, Dad.” Amber gave her father a tight-lipped smile. “But you know how I like to make my own decisions now.”
“You don’t like to do what you’re told—that I do know.” He grumbled the words in a voice just loud enough for everyone at the table to hear. “Candace is still listening to her old man, though. Aren’t you, honey?” He looked at his youngest child with a proud smile.
Candace seemed to shrink in her chair, her eyes wide.
“Go on, love,” Harold encouraged her. “Tell them your news.”
The young woman sat up straighter, but continued to stare at the tablecloth as she announced, “I have decided to apply for law at university next year.”
Silence reigned. Lincoln glanced around the table uneasily. He’d expected a big round of congratulations and applause. Instead, Amber’s mouth had dropped open in shock, Candace had yet to look up, and Will seemed downright angry.
“Isn’t it marvellous?” April had plastered a wide smile on her face that matched her words but didn’t even pretend congruence with the rest of her body.
Amber reached her hand out on the table to get Candace’s attention. “Are you sure?”
Candace nodded grimly. “Yes. I’m sure.”
“But you wanted to be an artist.”
“Law will be a good career and I’ll be successful. That’s the most important thing.” Her sister shrugged her small shoulders, not looking up from the cheesecake she had yet to taste. “I’m going to get the grades for it so… ”
“That’s right.” Harold’s chest puffed out and he smiled proudly. “Your sister has too good a brain to waste it on something as daffy as an art degree. And it’s about time one of my children started taking my advice again.”
“Advice, Dad?” Will’s voice was low but there was a thread of deep fury vibrating through every word. “Or was it a commandment come down from on high?”
“Don’t be silly, William, dear.” April’s hand fluttered at her throat. “You know your father only wants what’s best for you.”
“Yeah, as long as he gets to decide what’s best,” Will muttered.
Meanwhile, Amber looked to her sister with imploring eyes. “We’ve talked about this, Candace. You’ve always wanted to be an artist and you have a crazy amount of talent.”
“You’re the one who’s been putting silly ideas in her head.” Harold’s grasp tightened on his dessert spoon.
Lincoln reached out for Amber’s hand, clasping it tight. Her gaze snapped to his and he lifted his brows in a classic, Want me to step in? gesture. She gave him a tight smile and a shake that clearly said, Let me handle this.
Clearing her throat, she took on her father. “We’ve been exploring options. I think Candace would be better off using her natural talents. She—”
“You want your sister to be successful, don’t you?” Harold interrupted.
Amber nodded at her father. “Yes, but—”
“You want her to have a good life and be able to provide for herself?”
Lincoln gritted his teeth as he fought to keep silent. The thought of just sitting there while this man ran roughshod over Amber went against the grain. But if she preferred to handle it herself he wasn’t about to disregard her wishes because he had more testosterone than her. She could handle this—had obviously been handling it her whole life. Still, he lifted an arm over the back of her chair to remind her he was there for her in whatever way she needed him.
“Yes, of course I do,” she said. Her fingers squeezed his other hand so tight he could feel the bones protesting.
Harold sat forward now. “Do you know the odds of an artist making a good living through her art?” he demanded in a low voice. “You realise they are very low, don’t you?”
Amber nodded again. “They are low—”
“So you’d have to agree she needs something more tangible to fall back on. Something she can make a living from.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean—”
“Then we’re agreed.” Harold’s hands came down on the table in a move even Lincoln knew signalled the end of the argument. Amber and Candace flinched. “Your sister will study law and play around with her art in her spare time. That way she can still do her little pictures and make a good living in a respectable career. It’s the perfect compromise.”
“Back the fuck off, Dad!” Will’s shout stopped everything else dead.
After another moment of stony silence, April stood from her chair and addressed the table as a whole. “Can we please have a nice family dinner without arguing, especially in front of our guest?”
Lincoln gave Amber’s mother a smile and shook his head. “Don’t mind me.”
“I don’t know
what all the fuss is about,” Harold grumbled as he dug back into the remains of his cheesecake. “Candace made the decision, I only gave her the guidance she needed to make it. That’s the end of it.”
It seemed that was to be the end of it as the family returned to eating. Amber released the death grip she’d had on him, curling her hand into her lap. She hardly spoke for the remainder of the meal.
Chapter 15
Amber didn’t bother making small talk on the way home. She was horrified Lincoln had seen her that way. Unable to answer for herself, unable to make a simple argument for her sister’s sake. Her father had always been able to break her down when she tried to stand up to him. He’d done it to all of them, her mother included, their whole lives. It was normal. He wasn’t a bad person. He loved his family. It was only when they disagreed with him that he got that way. She just didn’t want Lincoln to see her so helpless. Fragile, like her dad said.
He pulled up outside her apartment building and turned off the engine. For a moment neither of them spoke, they just sat in the dark. She knew she should probably get out of the car, but she wanted to say something to explain herself. She didn’t want him to think her weak because of what he’d seen. That wasn’t her anymore. He had to know that.
“I would like to stay, but I understand if you’d rather be alone tonight.” He took her hand between both of his, entwining their fingers loosely. Not holding on too tight.
The words filtered through her self-recriminations. He’d asked what she wanted. Her father had never once in all her life asked her what she wanted. He’d always told her what she wanted. Most of the time, she’d let him.
“I need to be alone,” she said now.
Lincoln released a heavy breath as he kissed the back of her hand. “Okay. I’ll walk you to your door.”
On the way up the stairs, she kept waiting for him to say something. That she needed him more than she realised. That he would take care of her and make her feel better. That she wasn’t strong enough to make it on her own. He didn’t say a word.
When they reached her door he held her close for a moment, placed a warm, soft kiss on her cheek. “Call me if you want to talk, yeah?”
She nodded. A part of her wanted to reach for him, ask him to stay and hold her. But she couldn’t have him near her tonight. She needed to reassure herself she didn’t need anyone, that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself and making her own decisions.
“Goodnight, princess,” he said with a half-smile.
“Lincoln,” she said as he turned to leave. He looked over his shoulder in question.
“Thank you, for letting me handle my dad.”
“Are you kidding? You clearly don’t need a lick of help from me to do that. But I’m glad I was there for you, all the same.” With that, he turned and walked away.
An hour later, as Amber lay in her bed awake, she realised she missed him. She missed Lincoln’s warmth beside her. She missed his kisses and his gentle words. She’d expected to be relieved by his absence tonight. After the verbal thrashing she’d received from her dad, she’d believed Lincoln’s presence would be overwhelming, suffocating. Instead, the bed felt lonely without him.
Rolling over, she picked up her phone from the bedside table and stared at the screen. She’d proved she could make it on her own every day since moving out of home. She’d run her own life and she’d never compromised on anything for anybody. But maybe, just this once, she didn’t have to be alone to be whole.
She made the call.
He picked up on the first ring.
“Hey, beautiful.” His voice was muffled and she could tell he was running a hand over his face.
“That was quick. Did you have your phone beside the bed?” she asked, momentarily shocked. The man had a blanket ban on all electronics in the bedroom, apart from one simple alarm clock. The first night she’d slept over, she’d thought she would go mad being so far from her phone. She’d only agreed, plugging it in to charge in the kitchen, when she’d recognised how crazy that sounded.
“Yes.” He made a strangled noise, halfway between laughter and self-reproach. “I wanted to hear the phone if you called. It seems I’m willing to break all sorts of rules for you.”
Her heart warmed as she lay back down in the bed and snuggled under the covers. “Did I wake you?”
“No. I’m just lying here. How about you? Can’t sleep either?”
She took a deep breath, glad for the darkness of the room, for the distance separating them. She wasn’t sure she could talk to him about this if she was in the same room with him. “You asked me once why I became an accountant.”
He took a moment to catch up with her change in conversation before he replied, “You said you did it for the money.” Amusement coloured his voice.
“There was some truth to that. It does pay well and I’m good at my job.” Amber shook her head. “The real truth is, I became an accountant because my dad told me to.”
After a moment’s silence, he asked, “What did you want to do?”
She shrugged, despite knowing he couldn’t see it. “I had no idea. I didn’t have a great passion like Candace. I didn’t have it in me to do the opposite of what my dad wanted like Will. I didn’t know what I wanted, and he told me over and over it would make me happy and successful. So I did it.” Of course he’d never suggested she apply for law, she hadn’t had the grades for it. But then, as her dad always said, she wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch, but at least she was the prettiest. She’d always hated it when he told her that, especially when he said it in front of Candace. She wasn’t sure who he was insulting more, her for her lack of brains or Candace for her looks.
“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” Lincoln told her. “Lots of kids follow their parents’ advice about jobs. And it did work out for you in the end, didn’t it?”
“That’s just it, I don’t have any complaints about it. I don’t wish I’d chosen a different career or anything. I still don’t have some greater passion to lay claim to. But by doing what he told me to, I set myself up for all that came after. He wanted me to come to him for every little decision and get his approval for everything I did.
“Not long before I graduated from university my grandmother died—my dad’s mum. She left each of us some money. Will used it to escape to the other side of the country. I didn’t want to leave Melbourne, but I did want to move out of home and have a life of my own. Spread my wings and all that. You know?”
He made a murmured sound of agreement and waited for her to continue.
“The money was enough for a small deposit. I was young, only twenty-one. But I knew I wanted to be out on my own. I mentioned to Mum I was thinking of buying an apartment, something small that would be all mine. She told my dad and he lost it. He told me I was too young to take on such a commitment. That I couldn’t handle it and I’d only end up having to sell it again. He said I’d lose all the money his mother had worked hard to leave us and I was being selfish and pigheaded. The next week he went out and bought that stupid townhouse near them for me to live in. I told him over and over again I wouldn’t be moving into it. I wanted to buy my own place, make my own decision. He wouldn’t listen. He thought I would give in, because I always had. Like my mum always gave in. Like Candace is giving in now.”
“But you didn’t.” There was something in his voice, something like pride, and it made her smile.
“No. I didn’t. My apartment is small and kind of broken. But it’s mine.”
Lincoln snorted. “Fragile little thing, my arse. He’s got no idea how strong you are.”
“Neither did I,” she said, with a shaky laugh. “I was so scared he’d turn out to be right. That it would be too much for me and I couldn’t handle it.”
“I can’t imagine you failing to handle anything. You’re a force of nature, Amber.” The sound of Lincoln’s voice in her ear was a balm to her senses.
“It wasn’t until I’d lived here for ab
out a year, and taken care of myself and made my own way, I knew I was going to be okay. Right then and there I decided, no-one would ever control me again. I would make all my own decisions and never answer to anyone. Once you start compromising, you end up doing it all the time. And one day everything you are is gone, like my mum. I’ve never seen her disagree with him, not ever. She goes along with whatever he tells her to do, no matter what she wants for herself. I don’t want to end up like that, Lincoln.”
“Well, just so you know, I don’t want that either. But I do want you.”
God help her, she loved hearing him say those words. She wasn’t immune to the longing she heard in them. She wanted to be loved and cherished. Lincoln made her feel that way. Damn him, he made her want to learn how to give in all over again. “Tell me,” she whispered. “Tell me what you want.”
The sound he made was something like a reluctant groan. “That might not be a good idea.”
“Why? Does each and every thought have the potential to get you slapped across the face?” she asked with a grin, remembering his answer to a similar question that first night on Julia’s balcony.
“Not exactly,” he said with a low chuckle that made her shiver with delight. “Might scare you away though.”
Her breath caught at the warning in his words. But it was the middle of the night and she felt warm and safe in the darkness. The faint sound of his breathing in her ear made her want to hear about his desires, know him in ways she’d never wanted to know anyone. “Try me.” The words flowed out of her on a sigh and she closed her eyes. One hand slid down her body, tracing the curves of her breasts and stomach.
“All right.” A hint of reluctance lingered, but when he spoke again his voice was clear and steady. “I want to know every inch of your body, Amber, and every corner of your mind.” His words rumbled over her senses, made her yearn for more. “I want to know who you are when you’re angry, and when you’re drunk and when you’re bursting with excitement. I want to know what makes you laugh and what turns you on.”
Lost in Amber: Steamy Contemporary Romance (Finding Forever Book 2) Page 9
