“Let me tell you what I know.” She put her hands on her hips as she glared at him with narrowed eyes. “I know you were the one who demanded I let us be real and I did. And now you’ve got what you wanted you’re going to cut and run like a coward. That’s what I know.”
He swallowed hard, his gaze locked on her face. “I don’t want to hurt you, Amber.”
“Too late,” she snapped. Glancing around the room, she noticed one lone duffel bag on the floor at the side of the room. His keys and wallet were sitting on top, ready for him to grab on his way out the door. “You were planning to leave before I got back, weren’t you?”
“No.” He shook his head as he took a step closer. “I would never leave without saying goodbye.”
She scoffed at the trite words. “How noble of you.” They stared at each other for another long moment before she turned away, unable to look at him without feeling the hot burn of tears at the back of her eyes. How could he do this? After she’d worked so hard to get past her fears, after she’d finally given in. He chose now to walk away? How dare he! “Goodbye, Lincoln.” She spat the words at him as she headed for the door. “Have a nice life.”
She’d pulled the door halfway open when his palm landed on it, forcing it closed again.
“Amber, wait.” He was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath on her ear. “I don’t want us to end on bad terms.”
“How else did you think it would end?” she cried. “Was I supposed to smile and blow kisses as you drove off into the sunset?” Turning around, she saw pain written in the harsh lines of his face. The sight of them only confused her more. “Two days ago we were confessing our love for each other and now you’re walking away as if it meant nothing. Why?”
“Because I tied you up and forced you to admit it,” he growled as he grabbed her by the shoulders. “Do you remember what I told you to do next?”
She frowned, shaking her head. “I have no idea. Honestly, I was too busy orgasming to keep track of the conversation.”
His fingers flexed against her skin, but he held her away from his body. “I made you say it again.” Desire and self-recrimination battled for dominance in his eyes as he glared at her. “I already want you to say it again right now, and again, and again, because that’s how badly I need to hear it. And as it turns out, I’m not above forcing you to give me what I need. What else will I be willing to do to you to make my worthless arse feel better? Huh?” He let go of her arms, his hands lifting to cup her face. They were gentle now, cherishing her, memorising her. “When I’m taking your freedom away, the one thing you asked me not to do, how long can your love for me possibly last?”
She knew he was trying to frighten her with his words, and there was a time when they would have sent her screaming in terror, but not anymore. She knew who she was and she knew what she felt. No way was some man with a bad attitude going to tell her differently.
“Linc, darling, are you telling me all this nonsense is because you’re freaking out over a little bondage fun?” Her tone was silky smooth and, when he blinked in surprise, she knew she had his attention. “Let me put this in simple terms, so you’ll be sure to understand. I never once asked you to stop. I never told you to let me go.” She emphasised her words by poking him in the chest with one accusing finger. “I stood there, quite willingly, and let you do whatever you wanted to me. And I fucking enjoyed it.” He cursed under his breath and his eyes darkened with lust. That was better. She’d take his lust over his guilt any day. “You made me come so hard I saw stars,” she continued, “and I told you I love you because I wanted too. Don’t you dare claim to have forced me into anything.” She stared daggers at him as she hissed the words, but still her body stirred with arousal. “And for the record, I fully intended to be the one to tie your arse up next time. But I can’t do that if you’re not here.”
“God damn it woman,” he growled as he dragged her against him.
Amber flattened the palms of her hands against his chest and shoved. “Back off!”
Taken by surprise, Lincoln was thrown back a step before he regained his balance. He stared at her with a mixture of passion and longing that tore at her heart, but he didn’t come any closer.
“I’m not done talking.” She lifted her chin with what she hoped looked like a regal tilt rather than the desperate attempt to keep her composure that it really was.
She knew why he was leaving and it didn’t have anything to do with her or with them. How long can your love for me possibly last? That was the crux of it. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why he didn’t trust in her feelings for him. She was willing to work through all that, but she couldn’t do it alone.
“It sucks that your parents were selfish arseholes who didn’t love you,” she said, her chest heaving as she spoke. “But I am here and I’m telling you right now, I do love you. This thing we have may not be perfect, or simple, but it’s real. And I will fight like hell for us. If you’re willing to do the same, I think we have a shot. If not, it probably is better you go now.”
They stood staring at each other for a long moment, before she spoke again. “I want you to stay, Lincoln. Stay and be with me.” She stood tall as she made her request, though her voice quivered. “Will you stay?”
Chapter 24
Will you stay?
Lincoln’s body trembled so hard he wasn’t sure he could walk without falling to his knees. He knew this was the only time Amber would ask this question. If he denied her now, he would lose her forever.
He’d spent years wandering the country, throwing himself into life as if the act itself held some meaning. He was living deeply, sucking out the marrow of life and all that bullshit. That’s what he’d told himself. But now, standing in front of Amber, everything he’d ever done seemed shallow and empty. He’d coasted across the surface of life, never getting too attached, never diving too deep. Never risking anything except his hide.
Now, this woman who had risked everything to open herself to him, was asking him to do the same. This moment, this chance, was all too real.
“I don’t—” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat before he tried again. “I don’t know how to do this, where to start.”
Amber shook her head, uncertainty on her face. “I don’t know either.”
He took a small, hesitant step toward her. “I’ll keep pushing you,” he said, giving voice to his greatest fear. “I’m a demanding son of a bitch.”
“I can handle it. I’m strong, remember?” She mirrored his step with one of her own. “But don’t go thinking I’ll come to you for advice the next time I want to buy a new car or something.”
The corners of his mouth curved and the tightness in his chest eased a fraction. “Fair enough. I don’t know much about cars anyway.” Another step. “I won’t be buying more clothes because you think I’ve been seen in something too often.”
She made a show of considering that one before she shrugged. “If you insist. But I won’t be consulting you if I want to buy myself expensive shoes, or a new dress.” This step brought them within centimetres of each other. “And if I want to buy a coffee machine I will pick the stupid thing myself.”
“Now hold on a minute.” He held up a hand to stop her there. “If there is one thing I do know about, it’s coffee. You may actually want my advice there.”
“Well, I suppose you have a point,” she admitted with a playful roll of her eyes.
Now they were close enough, he reached out to cup her cheeks in his hands, relishing the feel of her soft skin beneath his fingertips. “You’re adorable when you’re dictating terms. You know that, right?” She opened her mouth to reply but he was already kissing her, unable to hold back any longer. When they came up for air they were both breathing hard.
“You’re staying,” she said, her eyes alight with happiness.
“Princess,” he replied, “you have no idea just how stuck with me you are.”
The smile she gave him was blinding
and she threw her arms around his neck. For long minutes they stood there, clinging to each other, murmuring words of love.
“You know,” she said when she pulled back to look into his face, “now you’ve taken the time to pack everything up, you could always bring it all to my place.”
He stared at her, his mouth hanging open. “You want to move in together?” He couldn’t have been more shocked if the sky had literally up and fallen on their heads.
“I understand if you think it’s too soon but, if you would like to, you could move in with me.” After a brief moment of silence, she continued, “It would make the most sense since I own my place.” She stared at him as if she’d have a heart attack if he didn’t say something and he forced his mouth into action.
“Sense. Yes.” His ability to form words was astounding. Freaking jerk. “It does make the most sense. Of course, living together will be an adjustment,” he added, “for both of us.”
“Of course.” She nodded, seeming relieved he was no longer comatose. “Perhaps you could teach me more about your way of living here. With the lack of stuff and the open space and all that.”
He smiled. There was a time when he’d believed she could never be open to such an idea at all. “I could do that.”
She cleared her throat before adding, “I wouldn’t want you to think you have to change all of your ways to fit in with mine.”
“I wouldn’t want you to feel that way either.”
“Good. In that case, we could,” her mouth moved in odd little contortions before she got the words out, “learn to compromise.”
“Compromise,” he said. “As in you give a little, and I give a little, and we meet somewhere in the middle.”
“Yes.” A bright smile lit up her face, as if she’d finally come to terms with the true definition of the word, instead of the warped version she’d seen growing up. “I think I can manage that.”
“I think so to.” He kissed her again, though the persistent smile he wore got in the way. “There is one thing I would like you to do for me, though, which fits in with the whole moving in together thing.”
She lifted her eyebrows in question. “What’s that?”
He bit his bottom lip, praying for the courage to get the words out. Hoping beyond all reason she’d say yes. “Marry me, Amber. Be mine forever.”
Her eyes went so wide he worried they’d pop out of her head. “Marry you?” She gripped onto his shoulders with a strength he wouldn’t have thought possible, her smile contradicting the blatant scepticism in her narrowed eyes. “I don’t know, Linc. We’re kind of mismatched. I mean, you are an obnoxious, dirty gardener and I’m… ”
“A shallow, party-loving princess,” he finished for her with a laugh.
“You think we can make it work?” She raised one eyebrow at him, a sparkle in her eye.
He grinned down at her. “I really, really do.”
She laughed, pulling him into a kiss. “I do too,” she said against his lips. “I can’t wait to marry you.”
Chapter 25
Six months later, Amber was happier than she’d ever been in her life. It was a warm Sunday afternoon and she was cooking dinner using a long, involved chicken recipe she’d been wanting to try for a while. Lincoln worked at the kitchen table, catching up on some overdue paperwork. He’d blamed her for the delay in getting it done, claiming her presence was too distracting by half. The fact his business was growing in leaps and bounds probably had more to do with it, but she wasn’t about to argue.
Living together had been an adjustment for both of them, as they’d predicted. There had been times when she was pretty sure Lincoln was driven insane by the amount of ‘stuff’ she owned, just as there had been times when she’d been ready to tear her hair out at his need to keep his life at an easy, unhurried pace—with the occasional adrenaline-inducing adventure thrown in for good measure. Over time, and with much compromising, they’d reached a comfortable balance. She’d learnt to slow down and appreciate the subtle art of not rushing through every minute of her life, which she’d found she enjoyed. She’d joined him for rock climbing but had opted out of bungee jumping. And they’d gone through her possessions, a bit at a time, to get rid of anything she no longer needed or wanted. Amber had been amazed at how much of the stuff she’d collected over the past few years she’d forgotten even existed. Now a good portion of it was gone, she had to admit her apartment was starting to rival his old place in terms of promoting calm and relaxation. By the time they’d gotten married, about two months earlier, they’d felt they were on the same page, working together to achieve a home that made them both happy.
Their wedding had been a small but lavish ceremony followed by a gourmet dinner at Amber’s favourite restaurant. It had taken some time for them to agree on a service they were both happy with. In the end, Lincoln had gotten the small wedding he’d wanted, and Amber had the great food she insisted upon. She also managed to find the perfect shoes for the occasion. The wedding had been attended by both sets of parents, as well as Amber’s brother and sister. Amber had met Lincoln’s parents, Colin and Lorraine, when they flew in specifically for the wedding. They’d been pleasant people who seemed happy to welcome her into the family. They’d also flown back to Europe two days after the wedding and hadn’t been heard from since. Amber’s family, on the other hand, had embraced Lincoln as one of their own. Her dad was still standoffish, as was his way, but he no longer tried to break Lincoln’s fingers every time they shook hands. He’d also managed to announce that if he’d been able to handpick a husband for his eldest daughter, a successful businessman like Lincoln would have been his top pick. Amber figured that was as close as she would ever get to his approval.
A small group of their friends had also been invited. Scott and Julia had excitedly told the other guests they were entirely responsible for introducing the happy couple. Derek had laughed at his partners from the sidelines and eventually fed them wedding cake to shut them up.
Candace had been a beautiful bridesmaid, radiant in her happiness. In the final weeks before she’d filled out her university application form, she’d made the decision to apply for a graphic arts degree. She’d decided it would use her art skills and still give her a good chance of building a solid career for herself. Amber couldn’t believe she’d been so worried about her younger sister’s ability to stand up to their dad. It turned out she’d created an entire presentation, including slides, with data to support her decision. By the time she’d presented her arguments, and with the addition of a few quiet suggestions from their mum, she’d brought Harold O’Hara around. Now he supported Candace’s choice wholeheartedly. In fact, Amber had once heard him proclaim he’d talked Candace out of doing law himself. Despite the urge to strangle her father for the blatant fabrication, Amber contented herself with the fact Candace was happy. That was what she’d wanted, after all.
Amber had just finished putting together the marinade for the chicken when she saw Lincoln rub one hand across the back of his neck. Glancing at the time, she realised how long he’d been working and decided they could both do with a cup of coffee. She used the machine they’d bought together, on his recommendation after all, to whip up a couple of flat whites. Carrying them over to the table, she placed one at his side.
Lincoln groaned in pleasure as he took a sip of the hot brew. “Thank you,” he said as he bent his head back so she could drop a quick kiss on his lips. “This is exactly what I needed.”
Amber grinned as a long ago conversation with Julia filtered through her head. Having someone who expects me to know they want coffee before they know themselves? I couldn’t handle that.
She’d had no idea at the time how natural it could feel to take care of someone else. Nor could she have appreciated the comfort that could come from having someone take care of her. There was no tug of war at play here, no demands for control, just a relaxed give and take. It had taken a long time for her to admit it to herself, but when she and Lincoln ha
d become lost in each other, they’d both found exactly what they needed all along.
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Also by Rebecca Raine: This Time Forever (Finding Forever, Book 3)
She wants him to want her—desperately—but without the inconvenience of wanting him back.
When Jake Caine walked out on Kelly Rawlins ten years ago, after taking her virginity and her faith in love, she put the whole affair behind her and went on with her life—or so she thought. Now Jake is back and he seems determined to turn Kelly’s carefully ordered life upside down all over again.
Recently single, after being dumped by a man she intended to marry, Kelly begins to see all sorts of interesting possibilities in Jake’s unexpected return. Perhaps he is exactly what she needs to regain her sense of feminine power. She makes the bold decision to seduce him, and she plans to make him beg.
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