“That’s a valid point. It’s been ten years for me, and I still haven’t been able to be intimate with a man. I’ve gone on a couple of dates, but every time I get to that point, I just freeze,” Kayla said, then added, “That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible for the two of you. I know people, have treated people who recover enough to have normal, healthy sexual relationships. The first thing that has to be there is trust, then compassion, and understanding. I don’t know Crank, so I can’t tell you if he’s the type of man who will give you those things. But from what you’ve said, I think he might be, you just have to give him a chance.
“Maybe instead of writing in that journal, send him the letters. Let him know what’s going on. When you’re done with this phase of your treatment, maybe the two of you could date, get to know each other again and see where it goes. But Cath, I think you need to clue him in, it’s not fair to him or the relationship you had to keep him in the dark and then blindside him later.”
“I think you might be right, I’ll consider it.” There was a knock on the door, and Cathy knew that visiting hours were over. She hated for her friends to leave, but she had a lot to think about.
Chapter 13
It had been three weeks since he and Tuck had gone to County and confronted the two Vultures. Crank and Tuck had driven back to the Clubhouse together, but that was the last he’d seen of the man. Tuck ordered him to keep his mouth shut about Madison and took off. The other thing riding him was Spider was pulled out of County by some feds the same night Tuck went MIA.
Tuck got back last night and held up in his office with word not to disturb him, so Crank waited. He brought his laptop and all the paperwork he’d been working on out to the bar and made himself at home. If that fucker stepped out of his office, the two of them were going to have a talk. He didn’t have to wait long because, after about an hour, Tuck had Cinny tell him to come back.
“Three weeks, mother fucker. You tell me to hold my shit together, and you decided to take a vacation. What the fuck?” Crank boomed. Crank knew there was more to Tuck’s run then a vacation, but he didn’t care at the moment. They were dead in the water for leads for the remaining Vulture.
“Sit your ass down. I have a lead.”
“Oh, yeah, now isn’t that special? Does it have anything to do with that piece of shit who went missing the same night you did? Thought he was untouchable or was that just for me? You get free reign when your family is involved?”
“Fuck you, Crank. Spider was taken into federal custody because of an open case, not anything else.”
“Yeah, asshole,” Crank laughed, “I’ll believe the shit you’re spewing when hell freezes over, and I decide to buy a bridge for vacation property. You're trying to keep your kid under wraps, something I don’t understand, but will respect. You know this club would protect that little girl.”
“They can’t protect her until I find her, asshole!”
“What? Why do you have to find her, and if you don’t know where she is, then how did that bottom feeder even know about her?”
“That’s what I’m trying to find out. Do you remember the Stockton case?”
“Yeah, some high society chick got caught up with evil motherfuckers down in Louisville. We went in to get her out, but she refused to leave quietly, and we couldn’t drag her out because the feds were watching the place. We were there for over a week.”
“That’s the one. Do you remember the barfly, Mazie?”
Crank cocked his head to the side trying to remember the name, but he was drawing a blank. There was one chick who had been all over Tuck.
“Was it the blonde, big tits, ample ass, kept on hitting you up every time we came into the Club? Annoying voice?” Crank asked.
“No, it was the bartender—brunette, blue eyes, skinny, kept to herself unless she was serving drinks.”
“Can’t say I do.” It still wasn’t ringing a bell with Crank. “What about her?”
“She’s Maddy’s mother. Three months after we got back from the mission, she called me and said I knocked her up. I didn’t believe the bitch because I always lock my shit up tight. Six months after that, I get a call from a hospital down in Eddyville asking for me to come down to be DNA tested. Seems like Mazie had the baby and gave my name as the father when the kid ended up having some health issues. Long story short, I got the test done and found out I’m the father,” Tuck said in a sarcastic, Jerry Springer way. “So, I went down there to try to get some information, meet up with Mazie, and figure out what to do next, but she was gone, so was the kid. I’ve been looking for them on the down low ever since, but I can’t find them.
“I’ve even tried tracking them with the blood disorder that made the hospital call in the first place. No luck, it’s like they vanished off the face of the planet. Then six months ago, I get another call, this one from Mazie herself saying if I wanted my kid, I had to meet her. I went, she never showed, but sent someone else in her place, Hawk Taylor.”
“Hawk as in the President of the Hammers? What the fuck was he doing there? Hell, man, we don’t even have a beef with those guys. Hawk runs a tight ship.”
“Yeah, well apparently, my baby mamma told him I had raped her and was trying to take Maddy away from her. He was there to mete out some justice on my ass. Took some time, but I finally made the man realize we had both been played, but Mazie had already hit the road again. What’s really fucked up is Maddy wasn’t with her when she was with Hawk. He never saw my kid, just heard about her. Mazie said she was with friends down south. That’s the last lead I’ve had. I’ve been turning over stones, but nothing is popping up.”
“Then put the Brothers on it, quit trying to find her yourself and let us help.”
Tuck sat back down, and for the first time since he walked in, Crank noticed how worn out his President looked.
“Not going to happen, something I need to do for myself.”
“Tuck, you know this club, hell, all chapters of this organization would help you find your little girl, all you have to do to is tell them what you need.”
“I can’t tell anyone anything because I fucked up, do you get that? I don’t even know Maddy, only her name and who her mother said she was. End of fucking story. Don’t get involved and don’t be talking to anyone else about it.
“I have information for you, Spider talked.” That got Crank's attention. “I called Jinx and Brass when I was on the road. Fucker was held up in Ohio in some little town. Just got word they have him and are on their way back. Should be here by morning. I told them to take the fucker to the warehouse.”
“Do we know who’s pulling the strings yet?”
“No, but I have an idea, going to do some digging before I bring it back to the Club. High level, but not in the state. Fucker has a loose connection to the Stockton case.”
“Fuck, man, wasn't that when…” Crank paused, he didn’t know how to say what he was going to next, but always having been blunt, he just went for it. “Isn’t that how old you said your daughter is?”
“Yeah, it seems like someone’s been playing a long-term game.”
“Are you going to bring Creed back?”
“No, I talked to him. He wants to stick it out, he’s hearing some shit we might need later. Rumblings about a possible retaliation.”
“Fuck, man, when it rains, it fucking pours around here.”
“Don’t I know it.” Tuck threw a manila envelope his way and said, “Found this on my desk when I got back. It was addressed to you in care of me.”
Crank looked at the envelope and knew it was from Cathy. He was so lost in looking at the envelope, he hadn’t noticed Tuck had stood up and was now standing beside him.
“I’m going to give you the office to deal with whatever is in that envelope, man. We can talk more later,” Tuck said, slapping him on the shoulder. Crank heard the door close, but he couldn’t get himself to open the damn thing. What if she was telling him it was over?
Taking his Leath
erman tool off his belt, he flipped it open to the knife, sliced the envelope open, and pulled out the contents. There was a spiral bound notebook with another envelope taped to the front. Unfolding the paper inside he started to read.
Collin–Please don’t be mad. I’m sending this to you because I want you to know I’ve been thinking about you every day I’ve been here. Some of what you’re going to read won’t be pleasant, and for that, I’m really sorry, but I think you need to know what I’m going through.
What happened and being here has me all over the place, and I just don’t know how to talk to you about it. We never really had heart-to-hearts. We talked, sure, but when it came to the hard stuff or decisions, I just let you take the lead, and I followed. I can’t do that anymore. I need to learn how to deal with this stuff on my own. It’s been too easy to let you take on all the bad stuff. I think I lost myself somewhere along the way. To be honest, I don’t think I really knew myself to begin with. I left my parents’ rule for the Navy’s then school, and finally, you and the RBMC, and I never looked back.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved our life, what we had together, but I wanted more, and I never could figure out how to tell you. I’m still not ready to talk, but maybe we could write each other. You probably think this is stupid, but I have all the letters you wrote me while you were deployed, kept in a box under the bed. I know it’s silly, but I loved those letters, and I still love you very much. I think I’m starting to understand why you had to leave. Because ultimately, I did too.
Love Always,
Cathy
Crank started reading page after page, and it was ripping his heart out. She blamed herself. Hell, he’d never told her he was the one who had asked the guys to turn off the security system. She even blamed herself for not questioning the fucking champagne. Pretty much everything Crank had been blaming himself for, she was right there on the other side doing the same thing. Shit.
The last entry was marked four days ago.
Crank–They say I have to say it out loud, so here we go. I was raped. That’s not out loud, but in print, it’s supposed to give the words less power. I don’t know if that’s true, but there you go. I said it, I was raped. I can keep on saying it, writing it, and I still feel the same way. How’s that giving the words less power? Those men held me down and forced themselves into my body. They beat me and screamed at me. Told me all the awful things they had planned, over and over again.
They fucking hurt me, but do you know what hurts worse? It hurt worse when you stopped looking at me the same way when you started looking at me like I was broken. Like you couldn’t bear to be in the same room with me. When you stopped touching me or holding me. Why did you do that?
Cathy
“Fuck!” Crank yelled, throwing the notebook across the room. Putting his head in his hands, he allowed himself to do what he hadn’t done since he was a child. He cried. He cried for what had happened to Cathy and what had happened to them. He cried that he made her feel so bad without any thought. Then he sat back up and grabbed a piece of paper from the printer next to Tuck's desk and wrote.
Babe,
I get it. I read everything you wrote, and I understand it. That’s all I can say, but you got it wrong. I wasn’t looking at you like you were broken; never that baby, you are so strong. It was me, every time I looked at your beautiful face, I saw how I failed to protect you. I saw what I caused. Never doubt how strong you are Cathy; I was the one who was weak.
I guess that’s the problem. I’m muscle honey, nothing more. If I can’t beat the shit out of it, I don’t know what to do, and there wasn’t anything or anyone for me to beat the crap out of. My one regret is you needed me, and I wasn’t there for you. Looks like we both need to put some of this blame behind us and move on. I’m trying babe. I’m really trying.
I’m sorry, that’s all I can say. Cath, you know I’m not good with words or feelings. I’m a fucking biker. If I can’t beat the shit out of it, I’m not much good. But for you, I’m willing to do the work. To figure out how we both can move on from this. I just hope you can find it in you to forgive me.
Love you,
Collin
Crank had just licked the envelope he found in Tuck's desk closed when the door opened. Tuck looked at him and around the room.
“They’re here, time to go.”
Chapter 14
This time when he pulled up to the warehouse on his bike, he didn’t bother to look around or notice shit. He knew his Brothers had his back, and he was on a mission. One that would be covered in blood, but one that needed to be done. This fucker was going to talk, and Crank was going to make damn well sure he didn’t stop talking until he took his last breath.
He walked in the door and went straight for the stairs. He knew precisely where Jinx and Brass would have taken the guy, the basement. His movements never pausing, he slammed his hand into the door at the bottom of the stairs, making it hit the opposite wall. There before him was a man tied to a lone metal chair in the middle of the room, Brass and Jinx flanking him on either side. Crank just kept walking, only stopping when he was about six feet away from the guy.
“Let him go,” Crank bellowed. Brass raised an eyebrow, but bent down and pulled a hunting knife out of his boot. The man in the chair flinched, making Crank smile. He should be fucking scared. When the man continued to sit in the chair after his binds were cut, Crank yelled, “Get up, you fucking pussy.”
Crank’s focus was solely on the man in the chair, but he did notice his Brothers surrounding them, making a circle. Brass and Jinx were still by the chair when the guy still hadn’t moved. Crank gave him one more chance.
“Thought the Vulture’s had more balls than to cower in a fucking chair. Then again, you have to drug helpless women and tie them up to get your sick asses off. I really shouldn't be all that surprised. Now get the fuck up and face me like a man, mother fucker!”
When the man still didn’t move, Jinx kicked the chair out from beneath him. The pussy held up his hands like that was going to stop anything.
“I’ll talk, whatever you want to know, just ask.”
“I see loyalty is another thing that runs deep in the Vulture’s,” Tuck laughed. “Maybe we should give him a chance to plead his case. What do you say, Crank?”
Crank walked up the guy who was now on his knees and clocked him right in the face, knocking him back onto the floor. The spray of blood from his nose only slightly fed Crank’s need to see him bleeding out.
“Sure, have your say,” Crank said, stepping back, “we have all the time in the world.” Crank moved the chair over a little and sat down, close enough to make the man uncomfortable. Leaning back, he crossed his ankles over one another and his arms on his chest, like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Crank could tell the stupid fucker thought he was going to be able to bargain his way out of this. He would bide his time, let him sing to his heart’s content because once he got his hands on him again, the fucker wouldn’t be speaking ever again. The guy righted himself, but didn’t stand, still sitting on the floor like the fucking pussy he was.
Crank looked at Tuck and raised his eyebrow, saying without words, if you’re going to do this, do it now. But he knew this wasn’t going to be quick, Tuck like to play with his prey. He wasn’t disappointed.
“I don’t know, this seems too easy. How about we make a game out of it, make it more interesting?” The other Brothers agreed, cracking jokes as if what was happening was no big deal. The stammering fool at his feet was nodding his head like it was the best idea in the world; too bad he didn’t know the type of games Tuck liked to play.
“Okay, you're all for that, huh? How about this? Each one of us,” he said, waving his hand at the other men in the room, “gets to ask a question. If you answer honestly, and the man asking the questions believes you, then we move on to the next guy. If you hesitate or answer dishonestly, the person asking the question gets to make a mark, his choice of where and how. My
man also gets to ask another question. You up for the game, Edward?”
Crank guessed the guy to be about thirty. He was small with a runner’s build or a junky’s, he wasn’t sure. He was thin too, and the fucker smelled like he’d spent the last few weeks hiding out in a dumpster surrounded by cats. He also noticed the small curl of his lip when Tuck stated the rules to his game. The fucker thought he could pull one over of them. The guy was so stupid, he had the nerve to be cocky when he answered Tuck.
“And what do I get out of this little bargain of yours?”
“Oh, that’s the best part, you get to live through it. How about that, asshole?”
“Yeah, bring it on, man, I don’t have anything to hide.”
“Then stand the fuck up, we don’t play with pussies.” The man got up and stepped away from Crank. Damn this fucker was stupid.
Tuck looked at Brass and nodded his head, indicating that he should go first. Brass was quick with his question.
“Okay, mother fucker, what is two plus two?” Edward “Slick” Blank just looked at him, like his last name, blankly. It took him a couple of seconds to comprehend what Brass had asked, but that was the point of the game. Brass laughed and looked at the guys.
“Damn, that was a good one, wasn’t it? The fucker couldn’t even add it up in his head.” When he turned back to Slick, he smiled, and the man started to run, but there wasn’t anywhere for him to go with the members of the RBMC blocking his path.
Crank: Ruthless Bastards (RBMC Book 4) Page 9
