Dropping his hand, he nodded. “I know. But it is what it is.”
“I do not want to stop seeing you, though.”
“I know.”
“Even if it seems hopeless.”
“I know.”
“You have a job to worry about. And I…”
“You have balls and fine gentlemen to worry about.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I am not sure I care for any of those things.” She leaned into him and Harry wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “What if things were different, Harry? What would we do?”
“I would kiss you,” he said simply.
“There’s nothing to stop you from doing that.”
He chuckled and cupped her face. “No, there is not.” He brushed a kiss over her lips and savored the sweet touch of her mouth. “I could kiss you all damned day long,” he confessed.
“I could receive your kisses all damned day long.” She scowled at him. “What?”
“I’ve never heard you curse. It’s a strange thing to witness.”
Lilith straightened her shoulders. “I shall have you know I have cursed many times in my life.”
“Oh really?”
“Well, at least three times. And once was when I burned myself trying to put out a fire.”
“Why were you trying to put out a fire?”
She rolled her eyes. “Because I am the most horribly clumsy woman on earth.”
“I rather like your clumsiness. It reminds me you’re human.”
“And why would you not think I am?”
“Because.” He kissed her. “You are the sweetest…” He pressed another kiss to her mouth. “Kindest, most beautiful woman I know. And far too good for me.”
She shook her head vigorously. “You are the best man I know so that’s not true at all.”
“I guess we shall have to agree to disagree.”
“Oh. Look.” Lilith pointed to the fishing rod. There was movement on the line.
Harry stood and picked it up. “Come here.” He motioned to Lilith. “Hold it tight and I’ll pull it in.”
She grabbed the rod. “Like this?”
“That’s it.” He began to reel in the fish but it was strong and kept tugging. He daren’t pull too fast or he’d lose it completely.
“Harry,” Lilith squeaked. “Harry, I am losing my grip.”
“Just a moment.”
“Harry!” The rod fell with a clatter to the ground and within an instant, was pulled into the water and vanished. A bubble of air rose to the surface where his fishing rod had once been.
Lilith clapped hands to either side of her face. “Oh goodness. I am so sorry.”
Harry laughed. “Well, I never really did like fishing anyway but I’m not sure how I’ll explain this to Iris.”
“Oh dear.” Her stricken expression had him unable to resist. He pulled her into his arms and kissed away her mortification until she was soft and pliable in his arms. Then he kissed her some more. There was no future in this, his mind kept whispering to him, as he held her and relished each touch. But he’d be damned if he could stop himself.
Chapter Fifteen
“I think roses will do nicely,” Julia declared, brushing a finger over the petals of the white roses. She waved a fan vigorously to ward off the heat of the orangery. Her rounded stomach had seemed to grow since Lilith saw her last even though she was several months away from giving birth. Catherine had to be right—it had to be twins.
“Roses are dull,” Catherine complained. “Everyone has roses at balls. You should do something bright and colorful.”
Emma and Amelia paused by the more exotic plants, a few steps ahead of the three of them.
“Roses are used a lot,” Emma agreed. “What about making it more tropical? Like a jungle?”
Julia shook her head vigorously. “No one wants to feel as though they are in a jungle. Goodness knows I already do in here and I can hardly stand it.” She gave the fan another flick.
“Perhaps we should step outside for a bit,” Lilith suggested. Julia’s face was too red for her liking and sweat tinged her brow. All her sisters had told her to sit outside on the lawns, but she had insisted she needed to make this decision today, even though it was exceedingly warm in the orangery. Which was all well and good for the flowers that were not used to their English climate but not so good for pregnant women.
“I must make this decision. We only have two weeks left to finalize the arrangements and Giles will have a fit if I do not tell him what I need him to cut and arrange soon,” Julia said.
“Then make a decision quickly.” Catherine indicated around the building which was filled with flowers from all over the world, carefully cultivated and tended to by Mr. Giles who prided himself on being able to grow such plants in England. “You have plenty to choose from.”
Amelia frowned at Julia. “Yes, before you fall over from exhaustion.”
Catherine nodded. “I’m certainly not picking you up if you do. You are far too big and heavy for me now.”
“I am not going to fall over,” Julia protested. “Duchesses do not fall over.”
Catherine snorted. “Being a duchess does not stop you from falling over.”
“Nor does being a lady,” Lilith commented. “I fall over with too much frequency.”
“At least you had a dashing stable-hand come to your rescue.” Catherine grinned. “We have none at hand for Julia at present.”
“Come on, let’s make a decision and then we can bring the children outside to play,” Emma said.
Grateful for the change in topic, Lilith made a show of viewing all the flowers, sniffing each one, then contemplating them with care. Of course, now that Catherine had mentioned Harry, she could not care one jot about flowers. Or balls. Or gowns or any of it for that matter. Her debut was a long distant memory and she had little care as to whether she made up for it or not.
All she could think of was Harry. The way he looked at her and made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and how he talked to her as though she were a true friend, with no silly society rules in the way to prevent real and honest conversation.
Oh Lord, how she needed to see him again. And soon. Since their meeting the other day, she had managed to steal a few moments with him, but they were so brief and frustrating. Somehow, she needed to find an excuse to spend more time with him. And somehow she needed to figure out how they could have a future together.
Catherine took a great sniff of one of the flowers. “I think this one would look…” A sneeze exploded from her and all the women let out a startled sound as the noise rocketed around the room. “Oh dear…” Another sneeze followed, then another. She sneezed and sneezed until her eyes watered. And when it seemed like they were finally gone, and Julia had handed her a handkerchief, another followed.
“I cannot…” Sneeze. “Seem to…” Sneeze. “Stop.” Tears streamed down Catherine’s cheeks and her face grew red.
Lilith glanced at Julia whose lips were curving with amusement. Lilith clapped a hand over her mouth, but a giggle escaped her. “Oh, I shouldn’t laugh but…”
Lilith’s outburst started off the other women while Catherine fought to prevent the next sneeze. She failed and another burst of several more followed whilst the women giggled at her.
“It’s not…funny,” she protested when another sneeze racked her.
“It is a little,” said Amelia with a shrug. “Your face is all red.”
Catherine pressed a finger to the base of her nose and dabbed her eyes with the handkerchief. “I think…” She paused and waited. “I think I am done. No thanks to all of you.”
“Goodness, I’ve never heard the likes of it.” Emma wiped tears away from her eyes. “No more flower sniffing for you.”
“Well, I’m glad you find it amusing. I thought I was going to sneeze out my brain.” Catherine pouted. “And here I thought you were my friend.” She sent a pointed look toward Lilith.
“I am al
ways your friend,” Lilith protested, “but you were quite the sight.”
Catherine folded her arms and made a humph noise. “I think I shall go outside and get a drink. I need some fresh air.” She pointed to Lilith. “You can keep me company.”
“Should I not help with the flowers?” Lilith asked.
Catherine shook her head. “No. You can keep your dearest friend company while my traitorous sisters look at flowers. It’s no less than you owe me.”
Lilith folded her arms. “I am certain you have laughed at me on many an occasion.”
“Oh, do stop arguing and come and join me.” Catherine forcibly looped her arm through Lilith’s. “Let’s leave them to these boring decisions and we shall enjoy some lemonade.”
Lilith gave up on the idea of protesting. She could not bring herself to be interested in the flowers anyway.
They settled on the chairs that had been put out on the lawn for them under a parasol. Lemonade and cakes were set out, carefully tucked under the shade to save them from the warmth of the day.
“Are you going to tell them?” Lilith asked when Catherine picked up a cake and pulled it apart to dispense of the raisins carefully secreted in the sponge.
“Tell them what?”
“You know what. I thought you were going to tell them about the baby once Thorney knew.”
Catherine shrugged. “I wondered if I might keep it a secret and wait until I’m as big as Julia and see what they say.”
Lilith sent her friend a look. “Why would you not tell your sisters?”
“Oh, I’m their little sister. You know how they like to mother me. I cannot stand a fuss. Besides, it’s taking me a while to adjust to the idea that I am going to be a mother. I could do without their nagging on top of that.”
“You cannot keep it a secret.”
“I know.” She sighed, wrinkled her nose, and discarded the cake. “I’ll tell them. They shall realize when they see I haven’t eaten a single cake.”
“You will make a fantastic mother, Kitty.” Lilith gave Catherine’s hand a squeeze.
“I am excited,” Catherine confessed, “but I only just got used to being married and now it shall all change again.”
“And you will have me and your sisters to help.”
Catherine gave her a sideways glance. “Will I?”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Are you certain you will not run off with a certain stable-hand?”
Lilith’s heart gave a jolt and she blinked at Catherine. “I’m not at all sure what you mean.”
“Do not lie to me, Lil, you’re a terrible liar. I saw how he reacted when you were hurt. Not to mention, I saw you sneaking out of the stables the other day, looking all mussed.”
Clapping a hand over her mouth, Lilith shook her head. How could she have been so careless? If Catherine had seen her, then surely others had.
“You cannot tell Thorney,” she pleaded.
Catherine gave a sigh. “I am loath to keep secrets from him. Besides, he is no ogre. He would understand if you truly loved him. And if he loved you.”
Lilith fought to swallow the knot in her throat. “I…I do love him.” The words were husky. It was the first time she had ever admitted as much to herself, let alone aloud.
“And he loves you?”
“I think so. But you cannot tell Thorney. Please,” Lilith begged. “Harry is hoping to be given the job of head groom and I would not get in the way of that.”
“So what will you do?”
“I’m not sure.” Dread settled deep in her stomach. She had been swept away by love without much thought for the consequences of it. Could they possibly have a life together? And did he really love her? Oh, if only their lives were simpler. She would be with him in a heartbeat.
Chapter Sixteen
“You wanted to see me, my lord?” Harry clasped his hat in one hand and tried to ignore the nervous tremor of his heart.
Lord Thornefield nodded and indicated to the chair opposite himself. The study smelled of leather and paper. Books occupied bookshelves in every corner and the desk behind which the marquis sat was a huge dark wood affair, carved with intricate detailing and topped with green leather. Harry never felt at ease in the marquis’s office but today was even worse.
I have been kissing your sister. That was the first thought Harry had when he entered the room. Images of Lilith, pressed against him, lying next to him, kissing his face and his mouth rolled through his mind as he sat. He forced his expression to remain neutral, but he was certain his guilt had to be written all over his face.
“What can I do for you, my lord?” He squeezed the cap in his hand until it was a rolled-up ball of fabric and would likely never regain shape.
“I know you expressed interest in the role of head groom.”
Harry nodded, keeping his expression guarded still.
“You are a hard worker and your knowledge of horses is impressive. Johnson tells me there would be no better man for the job.”
Harry nodded again.
Lord Thornefield eyed him, his blue gaze steady. “However, I also have a need for an experienced man in London.”
“London, my lord?”
“Someone who can handle my affairs and purchase good stock for me. You have an eye for horses and I suspect you would not feel at a loss at the auctions.”
Harry frowned. “I don’t think—”
The marquis laid a palm on the desk. “We are two grown men, Harry, and I am not one to avoid the issue. There is a good reason for you to go to London and we both know what that is.”
Meeting his gaze, a fist of dread punched into his gut. He knew. Somehow Lilith’s brother knew. “My lord…”
“I do not think you are a man of bad intentions. I hope not. My wife insists you…care for Lilith. However, we are both men of the world. Do you really think you can provide the lifestyle that Lilith needs?”
“What she needs, my lord, or is used to?”
“Lilith is still young and has not been exposed to the world. The work that comes with being a stable-hand’s wife would be more than she is ever used to.” Lord Thornefield rubbed a hand across his mouth. “Lady Thornefield does not want me to get involved. Hell, she shall probably have my hide for this. But as a brother, I cannot stand idly by while I witness what might be folly indeed. Did you intend to sneak around with her for the rest of your days or did you want to make an honest woman of her?”
Harry straightened. “I had no dishonest intentions.”
And had he thought of marriage to her? Yes, of course he bloody well had. How could he not? He’d spent every single day of his life recently thinking of what it would be like have Lilith as his wife. But he hadn’t had it in him to bring it up. How could he ask her to give up her life as a lady to be the wife of a stable-hand?
“You understand my concern, Harry. If she marries you, she shall be stuck with her choice, and I cannot help but fear neither of you shall be happy when reality hits. I have already had one sister marry unhappily. I would not see that happen to Lilith.”
“There’s nothing to say she would not be happy.” The words came out sharper than he’d intended. “I would work to make her the happiest woman alive.”
“But can you make her happy? Truly?” Lord Thornefield pushed away from the desk and stood. “Think yourself lucky that I am not calling you out on this. It was my first instinct, believe me.” He pressed a hand to the desk and leaned over. “I have no wish to lose a good worker or create a fuss when there need not be one. Go to London, let Lilith have a little time.”
Harry stood. “You’re asking me to choose between Lilith or my job?”
Lord Thornefield’s expression hardened. “I am asking you to think carefully about Lilith’s future. I am—”
The door to the office swung open and Lilith barreled inside, followed swiftly by Lady Thornefield.
“I told him nothing, I swear,” Lady Thornefield said as Lilith marched into the room and st
ood in front of her brother. “He guessed. You know I’m a terrible fibber.”
“Is it true?” Lilith demanded.
Lord Thornefield exhaled. “Is what true?”
Lilith clenched a fist at her side. “You want to send Harry away? You want to threaten his job?”
The marquis lifted a hand. “That’s not exactly—”
“Oh goodness, it’s all true then!” The dowager marchioness joined the fray, stepping into the office and shutting the door. “I knew when I saw you two together, something was not right.”
Harry winced. Apparently they had not been careful enough and now all of Lilith’s family knew.
Lilith faced her mother. “Yes, it is true. Harry and I we…care for each other.”
“I love her,” he said gruffly.
Lilith’s eyes widened, a smile curved her lips, and she nodded. “And I love him.”
Lilith’s mother shook her head. “Think about what you are saying, my dear. You know I love you and want what’s best for you but to be a stable-hand’s wife…is that really what you want? You are a lady. You are not used to that sort of life.”
Lilith lifted her chin and Harry could not help the well of pride that bubbled up inside her. “I am not some spoiled, useless, naïve girl, Mama. I know what I want, and I want Harry.”
“But—” Lilith’s mother’s eyes welled with tears. “Lilith, please. You need to think about this.”
“I have.” Lilith folded her arms across her chest.
“And have you?” Lord Thornefield asked Harry. “Have you thought about my offer?”
Harry nodded. He hardly needed to think. Even if he remained a stable-hand for the rest of his days, he could not live without Lilith. If it came down to it, he would find another job nearby and work his way up again to ensure they all had everything they needed. But he’d seen Lilith at the orphanage and knew how hard she worked. She could survive far more than any of them realized.
“I love Lilith. I want a life with her.”
The dowager marchioness pulled a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes. Lilith put a hand to her shoulder. “Mama, all shall be well, I promise.”
Lilith and the Stable Hand Page 9
