by Todd Gregory
“Are you trying to find your way out?” he asked.
“Oh, uh…no. I was trying to go all the way to the top, but I seem to be going downhill now. I must have taken the wrong path. I’ve been walking up and down for about an hour, and I’m all turned around.”
Perfect. “Well, why don’t I walk you up to the right path? It’s not too far.”
“Oh, are you sure? I wouldn’t want to bother you.”
“I’m happy to,” Hiroshi said, adding a short and submissive bow. Americans seemed to like that.
“Is that your cat?”
“Oh, no. But I’ve known Miyu since she was a kitten.” Hiroshi flashed him a smile and let his eyes linger. The stranger didn’t look away, just smiled back. Another good sign. “Would you like to pet her?”
“Oh sure, I love cats.” The man trotted down the stone steps to Hiroshi and the heavy slab.
Hiroshi’s luck was holding. All signs seemed to point to gay. An openly gay American meant less challenge. The man stepped timidly forward and reached out to pet Miyu. As he got closer, his eyes met Hiroshi’s, and Hiroshi looked down, feigning shyness. The hiss that came from Miyu startled both of them.
“I guess she doesn’t like me.”
“It’s okay. She’s wild, feral. Sometimes she’s not in a very friendly mood.” He watched Miyu jump into the underbrush, then turned back to the American. “I might be a little wild too, but I’m always friendly.”
The man raised his eyebrows in mock surprise, then grinned slowly. “Thanks for the…warning.”
Hiroshi brushed by the man and walked up the stone steps to the main trail. He glanced at the sky as the sun tried to break through the clouds. “This way.”
Hiroshi’s pulse raced as the man followed him. He avoided eye contact to hide the hunger in his eyes, feigning more shyness. “So where are you from?”
“Everywhere. I love to travel. I’m a bit of a wanderer. But I’m sure you can tell I’m American. I’ve spent a lot of time in San Francisco, actually.”
“Oh, what area?” Hiroshi hoped he would take the bait.
“All over, really. Mission Dolores, Sunset, Nob Hill, Richmond, Noe Valley, The Castro.”
Signal received. “So you’re all alone in Japan? Just wandering around?”
“Yeah, for now.”
Hiroshi smiled to himself. The American noticed.
“You’re smiling?”
“Well, I would never have guessed you didn’t have a boy…or girlfriend or whatever. I mean, you’re quite handsome. How can you meet someone if you’re constantly traveling around?”
“I meet lots of people. I met you, didn’t I?”
Charming as well. Inari was truly the god of prosperity. A yellow tabby cat darted across their path into the bushes, and Hiroshi slowed, then stepped over a fallen limb and glanced back. “Careful.”
The man tripped on the fallen limb anyway, and Hiroshi reached out to steady him.
“Thanks.”
“Do you like Kyoto?”
“So far, yes. I love history and old places. I love college towns—so much youth and energy.”
Trees arched completely over the uphill path now, and the air was alive with chirping forest spirits, like a sound blanket of anticipation. “My name is Hiroshi. You haven’t told me your name yet.”
“Josh.”
“Wow, very American.”
“It’s short for Joshua—family name.”
“Ah, Joshua. I like older names.”
“No one calls me Joshua—it’s too old-fashioned. My mother always called me that, though.”
Hiroshi’s senses buzzed and tingled as he closed on their destination. “Is she no longer alive?”
“No. My family was murdered. I’m an orphan, more or less.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”
“There are some distant cousins maybe, but no real family left. It was in San Francisco.”
“I walked right into that one. I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind talking about them. It helps me remember them. I was very young. I…I have to work to remember sometimes.”
Hiroshi steered the subject back. “So what are you really doing out here in this mountain forest all alone, with dusk approaching?”
“Well, the guidebooks said it’s a great time to visit the shrine and see the ten thousand torii gates—not as many people, more private.”
Bull’s-eye. Hiroshi took a left turn. “The torii gates are impressive, aren’t they? But there are actually more than ten thousand. They are considered taxable donations, so the monks won’t reveal exactly how many there are. But it’s closer to twenty thousand, probably more.”
“Donations. That’s why I see so many smaller ones stacked in rows and piled up in corners of the shrines?”
“Yes.”
“And the black writing going up and down one side of the gates?”
“That identifies who donated it, so their prosperity can be read by all.”
“Ah. So anyone can do that?”
“Sure. A donation is a donation. Mostly businesses, but anyone who wants prosperity.”
“I like that. What about the foxes I keep seeing?”
“The Kitsune are guardians, messengers. Legend says they’re mischievous forest spirits that can possess or bewitch a human by entering your body through your fingernails. Most people think they’re creepy,” Hiroshi said as they passed a rather large, glowering fox sculpture, “but I kinda like them.”
“Doesn’t the park—I mean sanctuary—close soon?”
Hiroshi looked at the fading sunlight filtering through the dense tree cover, then back at Josh. “Yes, but I know my way around. If you’d like to see a beautiful sunset, I know a great place. No one will care.”
“I’d like that.”
An old woman passed them on the path as they entered the orange tunnel of torii gates. She eyed them with great suspicion. Hiroshi nodded respectfully, but she just stared at him.
A cat sprang from between two of the black bases of the torii, crossing their path and startling them both. “They seem to be everywhere,” Josh noted.
“Yes, the monks and noodle shop owners look after them. They can be skittish until they get to know you.”
The torii tunnel spilled into a small clearing with a lake, almost a pond, railed off in brilliant orange to protect onlookers. Tall trees hemmed the clearing, amplifying the sounds of insects and birds around them.
“This is one of the prettiest spots, though there are so many on the mountain.” Hiroshi turned to witness Josh’s reaction to the lake and found him within a foot of his face. “Oh.”
Without warning Josh moved in, strong arms snaking around Hiroshi’s middle, pulling him close. He kissed Hiroshi with surprising hunger and passion, lips exploring and savoring Hiroshi’s. Hiroshi pushed gently away, looking around for the monks or caretakers.
“Maybe you know a more private spot?” Josh asked, reflecting back his hunger.
“Yes,” Hiroshi said, grinning. He led Josh back the way they’d come, taking a sharp right down a shadowy path, then descending a short incline to a small stream. The sound of its water rushed them along through yet another towering torii tunnel, each ten-foot-tall orange and black arch no more than a foot apart. The tunnel of arches swallowed them up, its smooth wooden poles glowing tangerine in the twilight. Wooden beam steps carried them to a forked pathway with the giant orange gates splitting off in two directions. Hiroshi chose the left tunnel, and his breathing rose along with the path.
They came to a gap in the gates where a small, uncluttered forest path cut away from the main trail. He smiled at Josh and ascended the dirt path. At the top he stopped in a nice secluded area and turned—to see no sign of Josh. Confused, he spun around to find Josh grinning mischievously in front of him.
“Enough small talk, I’m not waiting any longer,” Josh said. His large hands pulled Hiroshi in tight to kiss his jawline and neck. Their li
ps soon found each other and hands began exploring soft flesh. Hiroshi could feel hormones coursing through his body, and he let his lips wander along the man’s cheek and neck. He breathed deeply the welcome scent and felt his lips caress supple skin, overcome with desire.
Josh made a small sound of surprise and pulled back when Hiroshi let his teeth graze Josh’s neck. “Did you try to bite me?” he said with a big grin. Hiroshi returned more a leer than a grin. Josh pulled him close and kissed him full on the lips, the only sound the unison of their breathing.
Josh moved to explore his neck with his nose and lips, then Hiroshi felt a sudden small but sharp pain. “Ouch, not so hard,” Hiroshi said, breaking away. He looked into Josh’s eyes, saw his pupils, dilated and shining, penetrating the gloom of the dying day.
Josh parted his lips, revealing the point of one tooth stained with a single drop of blood. Hiroshi felt his neck with one hand and felt a warm wetness that sent a pang of panic through him. “You really bit me,” he managed through his confusion. “I was just being playful.” He tried to pull away, but Josh’s strength held fast. Josh parted his lips wider to reveal the full size of his incisors. “Uh, you’re kinda freaking me out. I’d appreciate it if you’d let me go.”
“Is that what you really want?” Josh said, his voice low and frightening.
“Yes, let me go,” Hiroshi demanded. He felt the vise release him, and he straightened his shirt before touching his wet neck again. “You really bit me. I…I don’t think this is going to work out for me.”
“I agree,” Josh said, taking a step closer.
“Look, I liked you, but I’m not into this whole creepy Twilight thing, okay?” Hiroshi started to walk down the dirt path toward the torii tunnel, fighting panic as he thought about just how much bigger and stronger Josh was. His senses were on hyper alert, sure that Josh was following, so he quickened his pace to get to the bottom of the dirt path.
He turned tentatively, but no Josh. He turned back to find Josh standing tall and still, blocking his way. “Look Josh, I’m sure you’re a nice guy, you could have any guy you wanted—why put on this whole freak show act?”
Josh’s face remained stony, his boyish looks now marred by the slashing shadows cast by tree branches. A thin smile told Hiroshi the man had had this confrontation before. He pointed. “I’m going that way, to a shrine just a couple hundred feet from here. There are caretakers there,” he lied.
Hiroshi pushed past Josh and entered the torii tunnel, his heart thundering in his chest, his legs wobbling a bit more than he expected. At any moment the man could grab him and that would be the end of his struggling. He walked uphill through the glowing orange tunnel, the twinkling lights in the distance quickening his pace. He heard no footsteps but his own. In fact, he heard no usual night sounds at all. He jogged the last few paces through the torii tunnel until the path opened up to a set of small buildings and shrines. In the middle of the clearing was an offering area with many paper prayers tied in the shape of little white fox heads.
His breathing was heavy as the last bit of light faded toward indigo. The dim glow of abandoned work lights offered little comfort. He looked back at the torii tunnel, but saw no sign of Josh. Three torii tunnels led from the clearing; he had to choose one and get out of the forest.
The hair on the back of his neck stood straight up, but before he could react, strong hands shoved him to the ground. When he rolled and his eyes oriented, Josh was on top of him, his eyes blazing with a terrifying hunger. He was shirtless, his breath labored and frightening. Hiroshi screamed twice, but the weight of the man’s body on top of his muffled his voice. He shivered as Josh’s cold hands begin to explore his body.
The man leaned in close. “You are beautiful, Hiroshi.”
“Please, please let me go! Please, I’ll do anything, just let me go, I’ll give you money!”
The man kissed Hiroshi’s neck and Hiroshi screamed, anticipating the feel of sharp teeth again, but the man pulled up. “This can be enjoyable. You don’t have to die for me to feed.”
“Feed?” Hiroshi managed. His stomach turned and fear seized his chest and throat. One of the man’s hands slid under the fabric of his pants to the vulnerable soft part below his belly button and Hiroshi cried out, but the man’s lips silenced him. Hiroshi’s mind stabbed at him with the guilt of dozens of one-night stands, as if this was his final punishment for leading such an empty life, for not heeding warnings. “Please, just don’t kill me, please,” he managed, his voice soaked in fear.
The man leaned back so Hiroshi could see his eyes. “I’m not going to kill you, Hiroshi. I just want what you have.”
“My blood?”
“More than that.” The man lowered himself again and this time bit into Hiroshi’s neck.
Hiroshi screamed at the piercing pain. The pain soon ebbed, replaced by a numbness that spread like ink over paper. He wanted to cry, but his body and eyes felt dry. He could barely move. The man’s mouth sucked noisily at his neck. Hiroshi’s focus shifted from the numbness in his body to the movement of the man’s hand unzipping his pants. He gasped as he felt the man grab him.
Hiroshi’s resistance faded with the last light of day. As his eyesight blurred, the stars in the sky became sequins sparkling on an azure dress, and a lightness of being swept through his body. He rode wave after wave of pleasure as the man’s hand ravaged him, all the while with his lips and teeth clamped to Hiroshi’s neck. He felt his own arms reach for the man’s bare shoulders as he crested the final wave. The man continued to suck at his neck as Hiroshi tried to cry out, but the intensity choked off the sound, and his body crashed into shudders of pleasure.
Exhausted, Hiroshi lay helplessly on the ground, the man still on top of him. He felt another small bite and then Josh gently lifted himself off him. Hiroshi’s face must have registered the shock of seeing Josh’s bloodstained lips, because he wiped his mouth self-consciously, then smiled. It was an oddly beautiful smile now, daggered teeth and all, and his eyes beamed victory.
Hiroshi’s heart felt light, his mind clean and clear, though bewildered. “Am I bleeding to death?” he asked calmly.
Josh smiled at him. “No, you’re not bleeding at all.”
Hiroshi was too weak to touch his own neck. “Are you…am I…?”
“No, you’re not a vampire,” Josh answered.
“Why do I…I can’t…I didn’t…”
“The best painkiller in the world,” Josh said, raking his tongue across the sharp point of one incisor. His blue eyes reflected the night sky, dark pools against his pale skin. Hiroshi marveled at his ability to see beauty in such a savage man. Josh reached out and ran his hand gently through Hiroshi’s black hair.
The euphoric feeling began to ebb like water from the beach, replaced by pangs of anxiety. “How old are you?” Hiroshi asked, his voice cracking.
“Why do you ask?”
“Just tell me.”
“I’m a hundred sixteen. Well, I’ll be a hundred seventeen next week. I think.”
“You’ll be a hundred seventeen years old?”
“I was alive before that, for twenty-two years.” His beautiful brow furrowed. “Or maybe it was twenty-six. I can’t remember anymore.”
Hiroshi looked into the playful, almost childlike eyes staring down at him. His body was haloed by a hundred pinpoints in the night sky and he almost looked like an angel. Hiroshi sighed. “You look twenty-five.” The sounds of the mountain began filtering back into his ears.
“Thank you.” Josh laughed, and his eyes crinkled seductively. He got up off of Hiroshi.
Embarrassment and shame and confusion nagged at Hiroshi as his hands fumbled with the zipper on his pants, his arms searching for the energy to move in normal ways. Josh didn’t take his eyes off of him. Hiroshi sat up, propping himself on one hand as he reached up to touch his neck. He felt two tiny dry holes. Josh laughed gently.
The skin all over his body tightened as the mantle of life took hold of him. H
e felt the ache return to his heart. “I want you to make me a vampire.”
“What?” Josh’s face twisted quizzically.
“I want to be a vampire. I don’t want this emptiness anymore! I’m tired of the pain.”
“That pain…is life, Hiroshi. And you should be grateful for it.”
“I left San Francisco hoping to find a different life here in Japan, but instead I found only the same pain. I can’t take it anymore, Josh. I’m so tired.” Josh said nothing. “Please help me…Joshua?”
Josh started at the name. He reached out and pulled Hiroshi to his feet with almost no effort. “Hiroshi, you mistake the absence of pain for happiness. They’re not the same,” Josh sighed as he propped Hiroshi against a little fence.
“Why didn’t you kill me?”
“Why would I need to?”
“So you’re not like the vampires in movies and books?”
“Are you just like the gay men you see in movies and books?”
Hiroshi didn’t know how to answer. “I…rarely see myself in movies or books at all.”
“Then why would you think I’d be just like the vampires you see there? People in movies and books aren’t real.”
“I didn’t think vampires were real. But I don’t care about real, I just wish I was beautiful, like you.”
Josh sighed, and his eyes darkened. “It’s always the same with you gay men.” He straightened his back and came toward Hiroshi, who flinched unconsciously. Josh put his hands on Hiroshi’s cheeks and spoke softly, gently. “Hiroshi, you are beautiful already. You’re the real thing, you are flesh and blood and life personified, not some glossy page in a magazine.”
“But would you say that if I was thirty-five?”
Josh frowned.
“I’ve heard it all before, ya know,” Hiroshi continued. “People saying gay men are vain, and we worship youth and we don’t have to be this way, but you don’t live in our world, you don’t know what it’s like.”
