by Abby Ayles
One thing the earl was right about was the adventure. This is what adventure was. What adventure had she ever heard of where the adventurers just walked around looking nice and being civilized? No. Adventure was when you pushed yourself beyond your comfort zone, did wild things, did more than you ever imagined. That was adventure.
The bags strapped to the roof of the carriage, her chair attached on top of them, and some baskets of food inside, they were ready to move.
The carriage began to roll, a little more slowly this time. It was so laden down, and they were on an incline from the start, so Kitty was not surprised at the steadier pace. She only hoped they would speed up as time went on. The earl seemed a little nervous as well. He was looking out of the carriage window as they began to scale the mountain.
“You appear a little concerned, Lord Stamford,” she said softly.
“I am. We are heavily laden. I only hope that we can navigate the gorge and the paths with as much ease as usual.”
“Do you think we cannot?” Kitty asked, furrowing her brow. “What happens if we cannot?”
“Then we fall into the gorge,” the earl replied quietly. “Which, I must add, we do not want at all.”
“But there is little chance of that, right?” she asked.
“I am not certain,” he admitted. “I am not sure of this journey at all.”
“But you have been on this journey before,” she said, trying to reassure herself as much as him. “So all should go well.”
He did not answer, instead staring out of the window again and shrugging. Kitty felt her blood run cold. “Lord Stamford, you would not have brought me on a journey this reckless without any protection, any plans?” she asked.
He sighed. “I am doing whatever I must to avoid Delilah and Cassandra's wrath, Kitty. I simply wish to lead my life without women second guessing me continually.”
“And I would like to live my life without fearing for it. Please, just tell me that the journey is safe,” Kitty insisted.
“It is because I have been on this journey before that I fear it will not go well,” he confessed. “I doubt that anything will happen to us, but I am nevertheless concerned, especially with your health.”
Kitty hesitated. She wanted to remind him that it was his health, not hers, that was the main concern. But she did not. She could only think about the turn her own adventure was taking. She drew a deep breath and looked out of the window as they turned a slight corner. She could see the village drawing away in the distance already. They were so far up the mountain. It was beautiful, but very scary.
Adventure in books was easygoing, fun, a little tense, but nothing more. A real -world adventure was, at times, just terrifying. And yet she did not want to go back. She wanted to see how this adventure ended.
Chapter 23
Scaling the mountains, looking back at the village as it shrunk smaller and smaller, Kitty began to feel a little dizzy. The great gray walls were topped with glimmering white snow above, and the houses below shrank to teeny tiny little boxes of red and white. Kitty felt suspended in the air, floating, almost, as she looked out the windows, first up, then down. Even focusing on her feet, not looking at the scenery, she felt giddy just knowing that she was slowly but surely being hoisted thousands of feet into the air, up the cliff side.
It was not fair. It was too much. But she needed to stay strong. She was sure that it was simply her own anxiety, a little fear of heights combined with a fear of the unknown, which was making her sick. And she refused to admit that anything was wrong, lest the earl decide she was too young and foolish for the journey after all, and send her back.
She could not do with that. Not after she had committed to finishing this journey. The least she could do was actually finish it. She had to show to him that she was just as capable of it as he was. But why? Why was she so determined to impress him? And why did she feel so ill all of a sudden?
She wasn't sure why, but the further up the mountain they went, the more nervous she felt, the sicker, and the giddier. She had used revitalizing salts a few times, and even chewed some herbs, but nothing was breaking it by the start of the second day.
As the orange sun crested the mountains, she realized that everything around her was now white or gray, gleaming, sparkling, reflecting the light right into her eyes at times. She had thought that getting up where it was so cold and cloudy would make it dark. On the contrary, the snow reflected every shred of light through the clouds, and the orange circle of the sun peered through the gray, reflected perfectly in every piece of ice, and every drop of dew on her window.
Kitty could only feel the awe for a few moments before she felt like throwing up again. It was a shame, this would be so beautiful if only she didn't feel ill. She was not sure why this was happening to her. All she could think of was how she was not used to being up in the mountains, and perhaps the fear was getting to her. But it made no sense, especially now she was much calmer in herself.
Almost at the peak of the first mountain they had to make their first stop. They had paused from time to time over the first day, of course. Tending to the horses, the driver and the servant swapping places and roles, people needing to attend to their needs at a few strategically located outhouses on the roadside. All of this required but a few minutes. She had sat in the carriage and waited.
But now they needed to stop properly, for a few hours. Kitty did not know at first, though. She had fainted, and it was only when she came to that she found out they had been waiting for her to recover.
“What was that?” she asked, slightly hunched over herself in her carriage seat as they resumed their journey.
“Altitude sickness,” the earl replied. “Some people experience it. Giddiness, nausea, headaches. All when they reach a certain height in the mountains. It will probably pass on its own.”
But it did not.
Initially the stops were only a few at a time. But they increased in frequency the deeper into the mountains they got. The earl explained to Kitty that although it did not seem as though they were on anything other than flat ground, they were actually slightly increasing in altitude every few hours, due to how the mountain roads worked.
Kitty was beginning to grow weary of it all, and was reconsidering her choice to travel in the first place. Everyone had been right when they told her not to go. She was not cut out for it.
The earl was not prepared to go back. “I understand that you are not feeling well, but we will soon begin the descent. If we turn back then we will simply endure all the same, all over again. It is far wiser to press on,” he explained.
Kitty eyed him suspiciously. She was not sure if he truly meant this, or if there was some ulterior motive to it. “How much of what you are saying is honest, and how much is to persuade me not to ruin your trade?” she asked.
“We are already too much delayed,” he said. “But I am completely honest when I say that if we return, you shall endure the same for another three or four days, whereas if we continue then it shall be a day, no more, before the altitude drops enough that you feel well again. I trust that you shall have the strength to continue.”
She just nodded. “I have the strength, Lord Stamford,” she insisted.
She felt awful. But if he was being honest, then why not try and complete the journey? After all, it would mean she would feel well sooner.
The earl was, unsurprisingly, looking in amazing health. He had never suffered altitude sickness, his joints were as comfortable as Kitty's in the warm carriage, wrapped in blankets and, what is more, he was forced to remain immobile. Whereas at home he was continually getting up and pacing, now he had to stay sat still in the carriage. This would allow his injuries plenty of time to heal.
Kitty had definitely drawn the short straw, but she knew she needed to remain as strong as possible. She had to prove him wrong. To prove to him that she had enough of a constitution to make it. He had already insulted her several times by suggesting that she was unable to loo
k after herself.
Well he was wrong. She was perfectly capable of staying strong and enduring all sorts of trials as they ventured through the mountains. She had a joint condition, but she was by no means an invalid.
If Cassandra could, then why not Kitty? If it were something she could put down to her sex, then perhaps she would not feel so bad about it. But it was not. She already knew that other women were making this sort of journey. If she was unable to do it, it would be due to her ailment.
And Kitty refused to allow her ailment to hold her back. She had spent her whole life working hard so that she could do whatever any other young woman could do. She was not about to throw all that away because something was a little bit tough. Cassandra had done this, so she could too.
That was when, for the second time that trip, she fainted.
They had reached peak altitude again. Kitty could see the snow whirling outside the window as she woke up again. Someone had wrapped her up warmly. The carriage was still.
“I am sorry,” she said, shivering a little under the blankets, less from cold and more from stress and shame. “I do not mean to cause any trouble.”
“Kitty, you are no trouble. You are faring much better than most young ladies on this journey,” he told her, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You are doing a fantastic job.”
“Really?” she replied. “I thought I was a hindrance.”
He laughed. “You are. But you ought to have seen Cassandra on her first journey through the mountains. Or Delilah. Many men do not fare much better.”
“I have altitude sickness,” Kitty replied, doubt in her voice. Could he really mean it, or was he just trying to make her feel better.
“And even so, you are proving yourself to be much stronger than many people without any ailments at all. I am proud of you for how well you are managing this journey,” he said with a smile.
Kitty felt her heart soar, pleased she had impressed him. “Please,” she said, “tell me about the other journeys you have been on.”
“Do you want to hear about Cassandra's first mountain journey? I am sure she will not mind, she often laughs about it herself,” the earl said.
Kitty could not help but wonder what she really would think of the earl discussing her life, but as the carriage took off once more, he began.
He told her some more of his stories. Stories of crossing these mountains before. Of Cassandra's constant wailing and sore feet. Of how she almost lost her dog by letting him out near the cliff edge. Of times when the carriage had broken down. Of emerging, victorious against nature, into Spain.
Kitty sat and listened, realizing just how smoothly the journey was going. She also realized why she hadn't heard these tales earlier, back when they were still scaling the mountains. Lord Stamford had not meant to hurt her.
Despite herself, she found her heart growing warmer and warmer towards him. If only he were to see her as a woman, and not as a girl, or a friend!
She groaned a little. Her legs were feeling heavy. It was the cold from the blizzard outside.
“Are you well?” he asked softly. “Do you need help?”
She shook her head. “My legs swell with the cold, but it will pass in due time. It is simply uncomfortable. Thank you for your concern.”
“Here, let me massage your legs, to assist with the water,” he offered. “You have done the same for me, the least I can do is offer the same kindness.”
She blushed a hot red. “Wait, you cannot.”
“You have done the same for me,” he said, raising an eyebrow.
“But I am a woman. What your legs mean and what my legs mean is very different. I shall be fine,” she insisted.
“Nonsense, you need help and I am offering it. I do not mean to insult your honour and frankly, I am insulted that you would even suggest such a thing. Now, I insist that you allow me to help,” he said.
Kitty, blushing much redder, realized she was painted into a corner. “Very well, but only my feet.”
From where he was sitting at the other side of the carriage he took her foot from the footrest in between them and rested it gently on his knee. As the carriage rolled along he removed her slipper and proceeded to concentrate on massaging her foot.
His touch was intense, and she felt embarrassed that a man was handling her so casually. But she could not deny that the massage was soothing, and the heaviness and pain in her legs slowly left. She kept telling herself that it was medical, nothing more, and nothing less.
He seemed so content, to be assisting her. His hands worked so eagerly, and his eyes lingered on her exposed lower legs, thrilled by the woollen stockings she wore for compression and warmth, their intricate patterns drawing his eyes up, up, up... until he realized what he was doing and sharply focused on her feet again.
Kitty could not help but wonder what this man would do if it were not for the presence of Dr. Allen, if it were just the two of them, and the two drivers, one of whom was outside and the other of whom was asleep in his seat indoors.
She knew that such scenarios were something that ought to terrify and appall her. She knew that she ought to gasp and all but faint at the very thought of being left alone with him, of his hands travelling up her leg. But she did not. She was not appalled. When it was such a handsome, eligible man, the idea was not actually appalling to her.
Chapter 24
The massages became part of their routine as the carriage rolled along through the mountains. She enjoyed them, not just because of the relief they gave her from the swelling, but for the closeness they afforded her to a man she could not dream of truly winning over.
Even when her legs did not bother her, she would not protest as he took her foot daintily, slipped off her shoe, and massaged her. She even suspected that the earl knew full well that these massages were no longer needed, and that he was also doing it for the physical comfort of touching her body. Dr. Allen was blissfully oblivious, despite being in the carriage the whole time, often remarking on how nicely the two treated one another, like good friends should.
And just as they had climbed up, all of a sudden she was surprised to notice that they were steadily rolling down. By the time she had noticed her headaches fading, they had apparently been moving steadily downhill for over a day. The lower down the mountains the rolled, the better she felt. Her headaches faded, the swelling in her legs reduced and, far from being worse for wear, she was feeling better than she had felt in years.
Once again her hunger for adventure came to life, and she spent as much time as possible watching out the window as blizzards thundered by, wildlife ran across the path, and the little carriage sped along the gravel and dirt roads.
The paths were excessively narrow at points, but being in better health made all the difference for Kitty. All the bumping and perilous leaning was tolerable when she felt relaxed and content. The unexpected turns and deep gorges no longer seemed like an imminent threat, but like fun, and she felt confident that the driver was in control.
What a difference it made, to be healthy and happy in the middle of her adventure! When she was suffering all she could imagine was the worst that could happen, but those fears were overwhelmed by optimism as she felt more confident in her body.
And before she knew it, the carriage emerged from the mountains. One day they just turned around a corner and she could see some flat plains at the feet of the range, stretching out into hills and villages under the warm sun.
Spain. Kitty could barely tell it was a new country, it looked so similar to the fields and villages which they had left behind. They were the same sort of little white houses, the same sort of plants, the same dry trees, the same goats grazing on the mountainside as the carriage perilously wobbled down the road.
If she had been told they had turned around halfway through the mountains and were back in France, she would have believed it. Everything was almost underwhelming in how similar it was to the country on the other side of the mountains. She had expected m
ore of a culture shock.
But as they reached the foot of the mountain and began trundling over the little dry hills, there was a smell in the air which she felt was fresh, and interesting. A smell that made her feel like something new was once again beginning. And that excitement penetrated through her skin and lungs to her very bones, filling her with pure energy.
The people, too, dressed somewhat differently, and as they drew into the village the delicious aroma of food and the soft sounds of spoken language were also markedly different to those in France. Although her father had always said that French and German were the ideal, most civilized languages to learn, she was instantly seduced by the tones of Spanish. There was something warmer, more relaxed, and more passionate about this language. Something which appealed to her naturally.
The carriage ride from the villages into the city was much swifter once again. Between being unburdened by food and the lack of obstacles, they flew like the wind. The horses were tired, but seemed to sense that the sooner they arrived, the sooner they could rest and eat. The drivers were also weary, and everyone was ready for a night or two in a real bed before the journey resumed.
Stepping out of the carriage after so long up in the cold mountains, without anywhere to walk, felt like walking on clouds, or stepping into a full tub of water. For a moment there was a sensation of floating, then a sensation of giving way, and finally the usual firmness beneath their feet.
Kitty felt so much better on level ground, especially when she was able to step out and stretch her legs. The warm, dry air, the soft earth beneath her shoes, and the wonderful scents made it all worthwhile. The exciting parts of her adventure were wonderful, of course. But she also enjoyed the more relaxed elements, the opportunity to simply stretch her legs and see new things.
After all the adrenaline pumping of the mountains, it felt nice to know that she could listen to the gypsy music, have something nice to eat, and just walk around without worrying about frostbite, fainting, or falling off a cliff. There was such a thing as too much adventure, after all.
