“Mo mhac…” I whispered. The emotions finally flowed from my eyes and I blinked trying to clear my vision. My tears blurred his face and I didn’t want him to disappear. His tears rolled down his cheek mirroring my emotion. He took a step towards me, but fell to his knees. He held himself on the floor and looked up at me. The sight of him kneeling before me was too much to bear.
“Nels… Mo meantóir… Is it really you?”
He whispered and the strength I had held on to all these years left me. It left me weak and I fell on my knees too. I pulled him close and held him with all my strength against me. I broke down.
“Mo mhac, you are alive… you are alive!” I said between sobs holding him.
He cried with me and our bodies shook with the same emotion. I held on to Cynwrig as if my existence would dissipate the moment his touch left me. I held him tighter. Mo mhac was alive. He was here. I couldn’t understand how this was possible. I had spent the rest of my life blocking my essence, my energy so I would not be found by the Roman cult. That also meant my essence would be blocked from him. If he ignored my warning and came searching for me, he wouldn’t be able to find me.
How had he done it? How was he here?
I kissed his forehead and hugged him again. I didn’t want to let him go. For centuries I had thought, like the rest of the world, that our people had been extinguished. I thought I had lost him too. The one I loved like my own son was gone. I thought he was dead. In retrospect, I guess I should have known better. I knew him better than anyone. If anyone were to survive it would be him. And he would save as many of our people as he could. I took a deep breath trying to hold myself together. Cynwrig, Mo mhac, was here.
“Are any of our people alive?” I held his face in my hands, searching his eyes for an answer. He smiled and nodded.
“We were able to rescue five clans.”
“Is Leigh alive?” I asked, even though I knew in my heart what the answer was.
He shook his head slowly. My pain was reflected in his gaze.
“Art and Eisha are alive. So is Phelan.”
Relief washed away my reawakened sorrow. Art was alive, so was Eisha. “Is she like her mother?”
His gaze became confused for a moment, but soon it cleared with understanding. He nodded.
“She does not control it. It controls her. She wishes not to, but she has the gift.”
I took a deep breath. Eisha was an Ovate like her mother. A prophet. If she had the gift of vision, then she had seen what her mother had. My mind returned to the present and my eyes looked for Brina. Was Cynwrig the man she wanted me to meet? Had he found her? She was sitting down on the floor. Her back against the wall. Her shoulders shook from her crying. My heart broke for her. My eyes returned to Cynwrig who seemed ashamed.
“How?” He understood immediately.
“Her essence. It called to me, pulling me towards her. It was overwhelming. She can feel mine too. We are connected. We have bonded,” his head fell in shame. “Forgive me, Mo meantóir. I love her. She owns the very essence of my soul. I am hers.”
My eyes widened at his words. My mind raced with the implications, as did the beats of my heart. His words confirmed the suspicions I held all these years. And now Cynwrig and Brina were in love, and had been together. If they had sealed their bond, then the prophecy was true. More blood was yet to be spilled.
“Does she know about you? I realized then I didn’t need his answer. If Mo mhac had been the one to find her, if he held her heart, he would share it with her.
He nodded again. “She knows everything, Mo meantóir.”
I shook my head burdened. I had kept my word and made sure she was safe. Yet I still had failed her.
“No. Not everything.”
*
CYNWRIG BRESSALL, Chief hero of battle.
Druid Warrior.
The moment we stood in her living room the sound of the door closing reached us. Bri let go of my hand and took a step back. I frowned at the gesture and gazed into her eyes for answers.
“I’m home sweetheart.”
The voice called and Bri covered her mouth with both hands. As though to stop herself from crying. My pulse began to race and I slowly turned towards the hallway.
“Where are you? At what time is the young man co…”
The older man’s voice trailed off when he entered the room and saw me. My heart stopped. The man before me was old and weathered. His wrinkles told the stories of the heartbreak he had seen. Yet, I knew those eyes.
I knew that voice.
Time had not erased the image of him in my mind. I knew his face better than I knew my own.
I knew his essence.
“Mo mhac…”
He whispered. His eyes instantly overflowed with tears. The same tears, that began to fall from mine. I took a step forward. My arm reached for him, intending to touch him. To make sure this was not a vision but I fell to my knees weakened by emotion. I placed my hand on the floor bracing myself as I looked up at him in shock. This could not be real. He could not be here. He was dead.
“Nels… Mo meantóir… Is it really you?” He fell to his knees in front of me and embraced me, wrapping his arms around me fiercely.
“Mo mhac, you are alive… you are alive!” He repeated over and over, holding me.
The overwhelming peace that had always accompanied his touch flooded my insides as our energies connected. The dam I had repressed all these years exploded. I closed my eyes accepting his presence and returned the tight embrace as our bodies shook with emotion.
Are any of our people alive?”
He asked, and held my face in his hands like he did when I was a child. I smiled.
“We were able to rescue five clans.”
“Is Leigh alive?”
I felt the loss all over again and shook my head slowly. My pain matched that in his gaze. “Art and Eisha are alive. So is Phelan.” Relief entered his gaze.
“Is she like her mother?”
It took me a moment to understand his inquiry then I nodded. “She does not control it. It controls her. She wishes not to, but she has the gift.”
He took a deep breath. And his eyes became distant and left me. His gaze searched for Bri and my eyes followed. She was sitting down on the floor, her arms wrapped around her torso as she cried looking at us. I wanted to go to her and take her into my arms. I wanted to kiss her and tell her everything would be alright. I could not fathom how she must have felt. I could feel the distress in her essence, the confusion and the hurt. I wished I could wrap my arms around her. Make love to her and take her pain away. Suddenly I felt ashamed. I had to tell Mo meantóir about Bri and I. He deserved my honesty. We had bonded. I had made her mine and to keep my honor I had to let him know.
“How?” He asked and I knew exactly what he meant.
“Her essence. It called to me, pulling me towards her. It was overwhelming. She can feel mine as well. We are connected. We have bonded,” although I did not regret it, my head fell in shame. “Forgive me, Mo meantóir. I love her. She owns the very essence of my soul. I am hers.”
His eyes widened at my words. In that instant I understood her request. Did she know about this last night? She had realized who he was, that is why she behaved the way she did. She needed not worry. This would not change anything between us. I was hers and she was mine. And nothing, no one would take her away from me. I would fight for her.
His eyes returned to mine. “Does she know about you?
I nodded again. “She knows everything.”
He shook his head. “No. Not everything.”
*
BRINA ANWELL, Beloved Protector.
High Priest’s only descendant.
The emotions running through me were too overwhelming to understand. The pain was hard to bear. I let my body slide down the wall to the floor and just stared at them while they cried holding each other. I wrapped my arms around my torso to prevent myself from becoming undone and cried. My tears fell for them, for m
yself.
I felt Hurt. Betrayed. Relieved. Happy. Confused. Lost.
Hurt. As I realized that Grandpa was the High Priest, the man Cyn had been looking for these past two thousand years. A Druid, an immortal, and he had kept that from me.
Betrayed. He lied. My whole life I had respected him. I had tried to understand his fears and insecurities. I still loved him for who he was. Or who I thought he was, even if at times I couldn’t comprehend his overprotection. He had lied to me.
Relieved. Cyn had finally found his mentor and High Priest. The man that had been like a Father to him. His torment was now over. He wouldn’t need to feel the guilt or pain anymore. He was free.
Happy. I could see the love they had for each other and it was humbling. He looked at Cyn with such affection and pride. Almost the way he looked at me, and I just knew he loved him like a son. The way he held him told me how much he missed him. I was glad they finally reunited.
Confused. What did this mean for me? Would Cyn and I still be able to be together? Would he look at me differently? Would Grandpa accept Cyn as the man for me? Would we remain here or leave to join the others of their clan?
Lost. Who was I? Was I Druid because Grandpa was one? Could I use magic too? If he was immortal, what did that make me? Was anything he ever told me true?
Grandpa looked my way and let go of Cyn, coming to me. He reached for me with tears spilling from his eyes and I threw myself into his arms. The sobs took over and although I had a thousand questions, right now I just needed him to hold me.
“I’m so sorry, my little Bee. I..”
“Don’t,” I said cutting him off and pulling back from his embrace. I shook my head looking straight into his eyes. “You lied to me,” I wiped my face bitterly while a new emotion took hold. Resentment.
His eyes filled with anguish. “I didn’t lie to you Bri. I just couldn’t tell you the truth. It was too dangerous.”
“So you hid the truth from me. Don’t you realize it is the same thing?”
“You wouldn’t have understood. I…”
“You didn’t even give me a chance!” I yelled, feeling a tear form in my heart. I got up and walked away from him. “You didn’t even try…”
Tears spilled from his eyes. He got up and faced me. “I was trying to protect you. I couldn’t tell you the truth because it was too horrible to endure.”
“So you hid who you were and kept me sheltered my whole life? Running from one city to the other. No friends, no relationships, in the darkness, because you couldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt? Was it so farfetched to think that maybe I would be able to handle this? Why couldn’t you just tell me who you really were?” I turned around and stared out the window. It hurt too much to look at him right now.
“Sweetheart please, let me explain…” He said reaching for my arm. I moved away, and I faced him again.
“All my life I have done as you asked. I have never doubted you. I have never rebelled against your rules. I have loved you and respected you. I did everything you wanted because I knew that whatever you asked from me, you asked for it out of love. I understood you were trying to protect me. You have kept me safe and I am grateful for that, but you should have told me the truth. Why would you do that to me, Grandpa?” I shook my head getting another tear on my heart. “I never felt disrespected by you until today.”
My voice broke as more tears fell. I placed my hand over my mouth trying to hold on and looked into his eyes expecting an answer that never came. I walked to the sofa and let my body fall onto it. I felt defeated. This was a battle with no winners, only losers. No matter how hurt I felt, no matter how many explanations he gave, the fact remained he was the High Priest. A Druid. An immortal. He had lied to me about it my whole life. I had grown up on the run without even knowing it.
“Was anything ever true? My parents’ story? How they died?” I asked. Another tear ripping my heart apart. He kneeled in front of me and held my hands. His lips trembled as he answered.
“Yes, everything I told you was true. I just didn’t tell you the full story. It happened in Africa where we lived at the time. The Romans killed them. They killed everyone in the village. When I arrived from fishing they were all gone except you. I held you in my arms and left all that life behind. You don’t understand sweetheart. They have created a cult. They have spent centuries looking for us. They have raised their children to become like them, infecting their minds with righteous envy. They have developed technology to scan our energies and recognize us. Generations after generations filled with hate and only one thing in common. Putrid hearts. I am sorry that I lied to you, and kept you away from life for so long. I never meant to hurt you, my little Bee. You are my life. You are everything to me and I thought I was protecting you. Not only from those monsters but also from the pain. It’s a pain that has lived inside me for two thousand years and I would never put you through that knowingly. I didn’t mean to disrespect you. It wasn’t about you not being capable of handling the truth of who I was and what our people had been through. It was about me saving you from that pain of having to know what people are really capable of. I didn’t want to darken your essence. Let the pain and the bitterness change you, like it has me.”
I reached for him and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me so tight it almost hurt. After a few minutes I pulled back and looked into his eyes. “I know what people are capable of Grandpa. We live in a world where humans kill each other for sport. Place bombs in kids’ playgrounds in the name of a god that only exists in their minds. They go to wars to fight, dying one by one while people back home forget what those soldiers are fighting for. I know what people are capable of. But that doesn’t change who I am or who I decide to become,” I held his hands in mine another tear rolling down my cheek.
“You shouldn’t have gone through that alone all of these years, Grandpa,” he nodded and a tear fell. I wiped it off his cheek.
“Do you wish me to leave you two alone?”
Cyn’s voice reminded me that he was here. I raised my eyes to his and found them pained. I could feel the sadness in his essence from watching my exchange with Grandpa. I shook my head and lifted my right hand reaching for him. I needed him. He came to me taking it and sat beside me on the sofa. Our fingers intertwined and he kissed a tear off my cheek. Grandpa sat on the coffee table.
“Is Nels your real name?” He nodded. My lips trembled with the implication “Is Briana my real name. He shook his head.
“Your name is Brina, Anwell. I changed our names when we came to this country, tried to make them more common. I didn’t think the Romans would know our names but I didn’t want to take the chance.”
I covered my face with my hands as more tears came.
Maybe it is stupid. After all it is just a name. A word people use to distinguish you from the rest. But isn’t your name the bases of who you are? It feels as If I just lost a part of myself.
“I am so sorry, my little Bee.”
Grandpa’s voice broke and I wiped my face drying my hands on my dress. I could handle this. It would be fine. Cyn’s hand returned to mine and held it tightly. Grandpa reached for my other hand. I tried to clear the pain from my throat. “It doesn’t matter.” I took a deep breath. “Am I a Druid too, because you are one?”
“No, you have to study with the Order of the Druids to become one.”
“And you are an immortal, Like Cyn.”
His gaze went to Cyn then dropped to his hands. “No, I broke the immortal bond when I left South Africa and we came here.”
Cyn’s hand tightened in mine and I looked into his eyes. His pain and confusion reached me through the connection.
“There is only one way… you performed the forbidden rite?” Cyn asked and Grandpa’s face became ashamed.
He nodded while new tears spilled from his eyes. “After I did, I tried to stay away from our Earth Mother as much as I could so my powers would become weakened and we couldn’t be found,” his gaze returned to
Cyn’s. “I used a spell and the stones’ energy to block my essence so it couldn’t be traced back to me, to us. I’m sorry Mo mach, I did it to protect her.”
Cyn’s hand trembled in mine and I held it tight. I looked at him as his eyes watered. Understanding hit me. “You tried to find him?”
He nodded and his tortured eyes fell on mine. “For two thousand years. Night and day I searched, trying to rescue him. Return him home.”
I took a deep breath realizing how much this had truly hurt us all.
Grandpa placed his hand on Cyn’s neck and brought him close. Their foreheads rested together.
“I am truly sorry, Mo mhac. I didn’t intend for you to suffer. I did what I had to do to make sure she was safe.”
Cyn nodded and they pulled back. I cupped his cheek making him look at me and kissed him, feeling the sorrow that ate at him in this moment. It felt like my own.
“I love you,” I whispered on his lips hoping it would provide some comfort. The energy stirred inside me and became warm and gentle. It flowed from me to him, and providing much needed peace to both of us. We took a deep breath looking into each other’s eyes and our bodies relaxed.
“I love you too.” He answered and grazed my lips with his briefly.
When my eyes returned to Grandpa he was watching us with a mixture of emotions I couldn’t quite recognize, but there was one that stood out. Wonder.
“How long since you met?” He asked. Cyn responded before I could.
“I found her two months ago, Mo meantóir.”
He looked at us confused, unbelieving. His gaze dropped to his hands then returned to us. “The connection between you is strong.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by that but we agreed. I needed more answers.
“Do I have magic too?”
“Yes you do, my little Bee. It lives inside you just like it does in Cynwrig. With my teachings and practice you will be able to harness it just like he does.”
“She does?” Cynwrig asked baffled.
Grandpa looked at him and nodded.
“She has the same kind of power you do, Mo mhac.” He answered without further explanation.
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