by T. Styles
His forehead crinkled and his teeth clenched. “Why would you even ask me some shit like that?” His voice was heavy. “You my wife and anything we make together is perfect.” He paused. “That’s what the fuck I’m talking ‘bout! Who would put some shit like that in your head? That aborting our baby is even an option?”
I hunched over and rested my elbows on my thighs. Clasping my hands together, I looked up at my husband again. “Bradley, we are at war.” I reached out for his hand and he stuffed it into his pocket. I guess he didn’t want to touch me. Dropping my hand to my side, I asked, “You do understand that, right?”
“Yeah, but what that got to do with me and you having another child?”
“It has a lot to do with you. Kevin and Ramirez need your help with the operation. With the Russians hanging around, my sisters and me need your help too. Not only that, neither of us have time to be parents. It’s just not safe.”
“Camp is around. He got their backs.”
“Be real, Bradley! Camp is so caught up in trying to find Master that he’s not available to your brothers. And although I understand that, it doesn’t take away from the fact that we need a plan and we need all hands on deck.” I sighed. “Having a baby right now is not a good idea. Can’t you see that?”
Bradley exhaled and wiped his hands over his face. He looked up at the ceiling and then back at me. “If you are pregnant now it means it’s the right time.” He turned around and looked at the pee stick.
My stare remained on him and I knew the answer before he even told me because his cheeks rose and stiffened.
“You pregnant, bay.” He showed me the stick.
He waved it in the air like a faggy and I was so mad!
“God is giving us another chance to get it right,” he yelled.
I slapped the tissue, grabbed a few squares and wiped my pussy. Irritated, I slammed the tissue in the bowl and flushed the toilet. I didn’t even bother to wash my hands.
Now everything I’d been feeling made sense. The morning sickness, the body aches and even my anger. I was a mother all over again before I even got the chance to mourn the loss of my last child.
I flopped on the edge of the bed and I could feel him right behind me. I needed breathing room but he was always in my space. “I’m scared, Bradley.” I put my hand over my chest. “I feel it in my heart that this is the wrong time. I’ve been having dreams about murder in this family. Every night I watch a casket being dropped into the ground with a black sheet over it. Do you want to know what the word on the cloth says?”
He shrugged as if he couldn’t care less.
“It says Kennedy.” I paused. “Aren’t you worried?”
He sat next to me, turned my chin toward him and looked in my eyes. “First off, I’m not going nowhere and neither is anybody in this family. Look at where we live,” he chuckled. “The President of the United States of America ain’t as secure as we are in here. We have armed men surrounding the property and at every entrance of our home. We good and you need to feel safe.”
“That’s just it. I don’t!” I yelled.
He took a deep breath. “When you talk like this it makes me feel like you think I can’t protect you. It makes me feel like you don’t trust me.”
“That’s not it, Bradley.”
“I’m your husband, Denim! You ain’t single and you won’t be if you have our baby. I will never leave your side. Ever! Not even in death!” he screamed. “You gotta remember that, baby. Or else you gonna be in the same shoes as Scarlett, Bambi and Race.”
My body felt like it crumpled over. “What are you trying to say?” I whispered.
“You know what I’m saying,” he said standing up. “We the only couple in this house right now still in love. Don’t give that up because you want to abort my baby. If you do, I will never forgive you. And it’s important that you understand that shit.”
He stomped toward the door and I didn’t notice that my mother was standing there. Watching. He walked around her and frowned and she eased inside. She sat next to me and said, “So you’re pregnant?”
I shook my head preparing to say no but I cried out instead. In that moment, my mother did something she hadn’t in a long time. She gripped me closer and rubbed my shoulders. Just having the touch from my mother made me more vulnerable and weak. I rubbed my palm against my chest trying to relieve some of the pressure on my heart.
“Come here, baby,” she said pulling me. “Sit on my lap.”
I got up and sat on her legs. Although I felt like an idiot, she rocked me in her arms like she did when I was a child.
“It’s okay, baby,” she said softly. “No matter what happens, everything will work out.”
Something happened in that instant. At that moment, I wasn’t Denim the drug boss anymore, I was a child and she was my mother.
After crying my eyes out, I looked up at her and said, “Mama, I don’t know what I’m going to do. If I have this baby, I think something terrible will happen. I keep seeing death.”
“Then don’t have it.”
“But I don’t want to lose Bradley either. I can’t put him through another loss.”
“Why did you tell him that you might be?”
“I thought he was going to be out later than he was. The plan was to take the pregnancy test alone but he showed up.” I paused. “I really don’t want to have this baby. It doesn’t feel right.”
“Then don’t,” she responded. “It’s your body.”
“But he’s my husband.”
She wiped the tears off my face with her dry palm. “Honey, Bradley is trying to replace Jasmine,” she said in a soft voice. “Don’t let him do that to you or himself. If you feel now is not the time, then he has to respect that.”
“Mama, he isn’t trying to replace Jasmine,” I said as I stood up and then plopped on the bed in a ball on my side. “He just wants another baby, that’s all. He misses Jasmine as much as I do.”
“He is trying to replace her, Denim. You can’t have this baby.” She paused. “Don’t you remember what you went through being a mother to an autistic child? You were miserable and you didn’t have a life.”
I popped up and moved across the room, away from her. “I loved my fucking baby! And it never mattered to me that she was autistic!”
“I’m not saying you didn’t love her but I do know this, you were overwhelmed. Bradley wasn’t with Jasmine as much as you were. He left you to care for everything on your own and if you have this child now, it will be just like Jasmine. Autistic.” She paused. “So why do that to yourself? You haven’t even found out why you had an autistic child to begin with. How do you know you won’t have another?” She touched my leg. “Don’t let that man tell you when to have a baby, Denim. It will be a major mistake. For everyone.”
CHAPTER TEN
RACE
My sisters and me were in the Relaxation Room inside of the cozy bunker. I had to admit, although I didn’t want to move again, Bambi went out of her way to make sure that the new hideout was nothing short of luxurious. Every room had a California King sized bed, flat wall TV and fur carpets. Every bedroom had a private bathroom with gold accents and heated floors.
This place was fit for kings.
It was fit for Kennedys.
The Relaxation Room was fucking heaven. There were twelve large money green velvet recliners and thick brown curtains on the floor-to-ceiling windows.
In this place it felt like we weren’t in seclusion and that was part of its beauty and terror. Inside there, you could almost forget that trouble was coming.
That we were at war.
We were sitting in the Jacuzzi trying to unwind. We hadn’t had a chance to really talk to each other and I missed our conversations.
A little buzzed, Bambi tied her hair into a high bun to prevent it from getting wet. She grabbed her glass off the edge of the tub and looked at me. “Have you found a killer for me yet, Race?”
I sighed. Lately my mind had
been all over the place and I knew Bambi was starting to believe that I couldn’t handle things. That couldn’t be further from the truth but it was getting harder to prove her wrong. “Not yet,” I responded. “But I’m—”
“Working on it,” she said finishing my sentence.
“I just need a little more time, Bambi. That’s it.” I paused. “I promise I won’t let you down.”
“I have to tell you all something,” Denim said as she sat a little higher in the Jacuzzi. I was so happy she took the heat off me I smiled at her.
“What’s up?” I asked.
She looked down and then at all of us again. “I’m pregnant.”
“Congratulations,” we all said happily as we moved in for a hug. Bambi was so excited that she accidently knocked the bun out of Denim’s dreadlocks when she gripped her up. As we clutched each other, with our breasts mushed together in an embrace, I noticed that Denim was not hugging us back.
Slowly I moved away from her and Scarlett and Bambi followed my lead.
“As you can see, I’m not happy about this shit,” she said under her breath. “It’s not the right time.” She rubbed her belly.
“Fuck is you talking about?” Bambi yelled. “If you pregnant it’s the right time.”
“You sound like Bradley.”
“She’s right,” I said. “It would be different if you weren’t happily married, Denim. That man loves you and I know he would love the baby. If anything, you being pregnant is a good thing, not the other way around.”
“Why would it be different if she wasn’t happily married?” Scarlett asked. She was the only one out of all of us who got her hair wet. It was smoothed back and tied in a ponytail, which draped down her back and stuck to her damp pale skin. “If she isn’t ready for a baby, she isn’t ready for a baby. Happily married or not.”
“Since when have you taken up for Denim?” I questioned suspiciously.
“We have our problems but I understand what it means to not be ready for a child.”
“Well if you not ready for a child maybe you shouldn’t fuck,” I responded.
“Let’s talk about something else,” Bambi said, obviously trying to skip the subject.
I wondered why.
“No, let’s not talk about something else,” Scarlett said abruptly. She looked at me, Denim and then Bambi. “I have to tell them. I’m sorry, Bambi.”
Bambi’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “Please don’t do it, Scarlett. Now is not a good time. Just let it go.”
“Don’t do what?” I asked. “Are ya’ll holding secrets again? Because I’m sick of that shit.”
“Me too,” Denim responded. “Seems like whenever something is going on in this family, you two know way before the rest of us.”
“That’s because all you want to do is smoke weed,” Bambi said to Denim. Bambi looked at me. “And all you want to do is have threesomes with Ramirez. Whenever I need someone to talk to, Scarlett is always here. She’s always available.”
“That’s a low blow,” I responded. “Me and Ram haven’t fucked a bitch since I killed Carey, so I don’t even know what you talking about.” The moment I revealed my secret about Carey’s death, I knew I made a mistake. I didn’t tell my friends what happened to our side chick although Bambi had her ideas.
I didn’t tell anybody because I didn’t want to talk about it. Plus every time I remembered that day, it brought up pain.
It was over a year ago and Ramirez and I made a decision that she was not good for our marriage and I thought it was done. But when I came home early one day she was in my room, with him.
Alone.
Jealous, angry and hurt I killed her and buried her body on our other property. What hurt me was not that she was there but that Ramirez loved her as much as me and I had a problem with that.
After admitting to Carey’s death, I sat back in the Jacuzzi and I could feel their eyes all over me. I guess they all wanted to know what happened to Carey.
“I thought you said she left on her own,” Denim said with a hung jaw.
“She had a little assistance,” I said under my breath. Trying to get the subject back off me, I decided to put it back where it belonged. Besides, it wasn’t the first time I committed murder and it wouldn’t be the last. “So what did you want to tell us, Scarlett?”
Everyone remained silent for a while before we focused on her.
Everyone but Bambi. She was still looking directly at me.
“I know where Master is,” Scarlett said softly. “I’ve always known.”
We all moved in closer. “What the fuck you mean you know where he is?”
“I know where he is,” she repeated. “And he’s safe.”
Denim’s face got a shade redder. Her eyebrows lowered and pinched together. “Why isn’t my nephew here, Scarlett?” she yelled. “If you know where he is, why isn’t he here? It doesn’t make any sense!”
“He’s with a better family,” she whispered.
“Fuck is that supposed to mean?” I yelled. “What’s better than a Kennedy except another Kennedy?”
“You tell me, Race?” Scarlett asked. “Seeing as how you’re trying to get a divorce and all.”
Low blow.
“Where is he?” Denim yelled snatching the mike.
“He’s with a Christian family because my current lifestyle is too much for a baby right now. I mean, look at us. We’re drug dealers who have Russians chasing us. I can’t—”
“Bitch, the fact that we have Russians trying to kill us is an even bigger reason why he should be with us,” Denim yelled. “How do we know they won’t try to kill him for revenge? There’s no fucking excuse for him not to be home!” She paused. “With his family! Where he belongs! Do you know what I would give to have Jasmine back? Do you?”
“Calm down, Denim,” Bambi said. “It’s more to the story than Scarlett is letting on.”
“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” she screamed at her. “How could you hear that man cry out every night for his son when you know where he is?” Denim asked turning her attention back to Scarlett. “How could you watch him fall to his knees and hold his chest whenever he thinks about his baby?” she continued as she got up and approached Scarlett. “You don’t know how many nights I got on my knees and prayed that Master was okay when I heard that man cry! And the whole time you know where he was. You’re a fucking monster! You should do the world a favor and kill yourself.”
Bambi stood up and separated her from Scarlett. “Instead of getting mad, you need to thank God that your prayers were answered, Denim,” Bambi said. “Because if it’s true that you prayed that Master was okay, then you got your wish.”
Denim looked at Bambi, rolled her eyes and sat down. The Jacuzzi bubbles surrounded her.
“Don’t worry, shit is about to crash down around me,” Scarlett said.
“What you mean?” I asked.
“Camp hired a private detective who is out to get me,” Scarlett continued. “Since I told Camp that Ngozi said we shouldn’t get the police involved, now he’s going this route. Seeking private help.” She sighed. “From the best.”
“You know when he finds out he’ll never forgive you right?” Denim said softly. “You said you loved him, Scarlett. And I hope you’re prepared for the aftermath because it won’t turn out good. Bring his son back. Bring my nephew home.”
Scarlett’s head dropped and her white skin splotched up right before our eyes. “I know he won’t forgive me but now is not the time.”
“Can you live with that?” Denim continued.
“Right now, I don’t have a choice.”
“Listen, only Scarlett knows why she gave her baby up,” Bambi said. “And we have to honor that.”
“Fuck that, I need to know where my nephew lives,” I said. I was going to respect her need for privacy but if I found out my nephew was being harmed in any way then there was going to be problems.
Christian family or not.
; “I want the information too,” Denim said.
“I’ll give it to all of you,” Scarlett said softly. “But you can’t visit when the reverend is at home.”
“So how is he?” I asked Scarlett.
Scarlett smiled but then it drifted away. “He’s beautiful. Hair as red as mine and eyes as big as Texas.” Her face was wet with water and sweat but I could still see she was crying. “Never knew a baby could grow up so well without his mother. I guess I do now.”
Denim hopped up and walked over to Scarlett. She stared at her for a second before raising her hand and smacking her in the face. “That’s for Camp.” Before Bambi could reach her, Denim smacked her again. “That’s for me.”
Bambi was about to jack Denim up but she hopped out of the Jacuzzi, snatched her towel off the chair and stormed out of the Relaxation Room.
Her ass jiggling with each stomp.
Bambi was about to go after her but Scarlett said, “Let her go, Bambi. Please.”
Bambi sat down and shook her head. “You shouldn’t have told her unless you wanted Master back, Scarlett. That was a bad move. You know how that girl is.”
Scarlett’s face was red with Denim’s handprint.
“Who says I don’t want him back?” she said softly.
Bambi exhaled. “So when are we going to get him then?”
“Not now, but soon.”
“Well, whenever it’s time you know we’re on top of it,” Bambi responded before raising her glass and sipping her drink.
“What’s going on with you and Kevin, Bambi?” I asked.
“Besides the fact that we have rough sex and don’t talk?”
“Yeah.”
“I think he’s seeing somebody else,” she said. “But what can I do?”
“Fight for him,” Scarlett said softly. “If I thought Camp wanted me back I would.” She looked out into the room. “I would do anything for the slightest ounce of attention from him.”
Considering what she did to Master, I believed her and that made her more dangerous than all of us.
“I think it’s over for real now,” Bambi continued. “He gonna do him and I’m gonna do me. I guess I have to leave it like that.”
