Sidney lay on her couch. Not watching TV. Not reading a book. Not day dreaming about winning the lottery. She just lay there.
Or that’s what she was trying to do. No matter how hard she tried to push every thought out, her mind tumbling over and over everything. With so much crap going on it was hard to pick a situation to agonize over. As soon as she made herself stop thinking about one thing, another popped up to take its place.
She couldn’t even deal with what had happened at the lake, she would wait until someone got around to explaining it to her. And that didn’t seem like it was going to happen anytime soon. She’d been dropped off at her house and told to rest. Which was what she was doing even though she wasn’t tired.
Instead she lay there thinking about Red. She hadn’t cried since right after he left. She knew there was some problem with him that was causing him to react this way. Some history that made him distrust her simply for who she was. It couldn’t be just some stupid laws written in a book. Surely he wasn’t a religious fanatic, or at least he hadn’t seemed to be. He hadn’t mentioned that book of laws to her once, and if it was that important to him he would have said something.
It was weird that neither the shifters nor the witches cared about mixing with humans. It was like humans were the universal breeding partners. Too bad she wasn’t human.
Sidney shook her head. That sounded crazy. Not human, blocked witch. She rolled her eyes. This was too much for a person to be expected to handle. She was going to break into a thousand pieces of madness one of these days. And it wouldn’t be a false alarm like it had been when Red revealed himself. It was going to be a full blown mental meltdown. And she was going to enjoy it. They’d give her the good meds, a nice padded room to bounce around in, and a comfy jacket that’d keep her warm with the constant hug she’d be giving herself. Yes, she was going to enjoy her trip to cuckooville.
She rolled over to her side and stared out the window with dry blank eyes.
She didn’t want to be confused or hurt or angry or sad or scared anymore. She wanted to live a normal life where she worked as a vet and felt insecure about how people felt about her. She was even starting to miss being ignored by her family.
But it was easy to say that now, before she’d seen every thing clearly she’d been a wreck of childhood baggage and insecurities.
But at least she’d still had Red.
She closed her eyes and let her mind go back and play over the brief time they’d had together. Reliving the feel of his arms around her, the way he’d looked at her, the way she’d felt lying in bed with him at night. She could almost feel the phantom touch of his kiss on her neck as she thought about it and it made her feel even more empty and alone that it wasn’t real.
She’d even loved him when she’d thought he was an overgrown domesticated house wolf. She’d run her hands through his fur and felt like she’d met a kindred, someone she could tell all her worries to who would love her without judgment. And when she’d found out he was a shifter, she’d put that aside and loved him regardless, and he hadn’t been able to do the same for her.
Couldn’t he see that she was exactly the same person as she’d been before she found out she was a witch? Well, maybe not exactly the same. She felt stronger, more sure of herself, less like a broken toy from the dollar store that had been set aside by every single person she’d ever loved. But those changes were good, they made her a better person. She wanted to share that new better person with Red, but because of his unreasonable objection to what she was, he was going to miss out.
And that’s what it was, unreasonable. How could a logical person in this day and age be such a bigot based on someone’s circumstances of birth. Red wouldn’t have reacted that way if he’d found out she’d been born poor in a trailer park, or if she were a mixed ethnicity, so why react so poorly because she just happened to be a witch? It was illogical and down right… racist.
Sidney sat up on the couch, pushing her hair back and out of her face with both hands. That’s exactly what it was, racist and stupid. How dare he judge her for something she had no control over? How dare he say that she should get an abortion if she got pregnant because her child would be an ‘abomination’. How dare he treat her less than because she was different than him.
The more she thought about it the angrier she got. And the angrier she got the more she felt the need to say a few things to Red’s face. She got up off the couch and started cleaning, throwing a discarded shirt towards the laundry bin, shoving an empty bag into the trash, slamming her purse into the side chair.
On second thought, she picked up her purse. No, she wasn’t going to stay at home and waste this energy on an already mostly clean house. She was going to go use it. To tell Red exactly what she thought of him.
***
Sidney made a sharp turn into the Dogs clubhouse parking lot, gravel flying and tires squealing in the most satisfying way. She stopped on the brakes, not bothering to find a space to park in, just pulling up close to the door. She didn’t have time for parking, she had words to say.
She slammed the Jeep’s door and strode into the club, fully intending to slam that door behind her too.
But instead of a room full of guys playing pool and drinking beer, she found Glory and Morgan sitting on the rug in front of the fireplace playing with Barbie dolls.
“Sidney!” Morgan screamed and jumped to her feet, running and launching herself into Sidney’s arms. “Where have you been? I missed you.”
All of the anger went out of her in an instant, “I’ve missed you too, silly. What have you been doing?” Her heart wrenched in her body as she held the small form, the chubby little arms wrapping around her neck. She really had missed her. Not a day had gone by that she hadn’t thought about that smile and those long blonde curls and the guilt she’d ignored surfaced that she hadn’t made more of an effort to see her.
“Me and Glory is playing Barbie, you come play too!” Morgan grabbed her hand and marched her over to the rug where Glory sat, big hair, full make up, and skin tight pants, with a little blonde doll in her hands.
“Are,” Sidney corrected.
“Are what?” Morgan asked.
“You and Glory are playing Barbie, not is playing.”
“Oh, okay,” she said handing a mini-skirt and high heel wearing doll that looked more like a stripper to Sidney than something a five year old should be playing with. “This is you. Your name is Purplina.”
“Purplina?” She glanced at Glory, wondering if Red had told her anything about what had happened between them. Glory smiled at her and gave her a shoulder shrug. Sidney didn’t know what that meant.
“Have you seen Red around,” she asked. As glad as she was to see Morgan, she didn’t want her anywhere around when she confronted Red about his ridiculous attitude.
“No, he dropped Little Bit here off with me and told me to take her over to Jim’s when I got tired of her,” Glory, looked down at Morgan with eyes full, “which isn’t going to happen any time soon.”
“Any idea of where he went?” Sidney really wanted to get this over while she still had a spark of anger lighting her up.
“Honey, you learn not to ask questions when your husband and your son run with the Dogs. You don’t need that kind of worry in your life. Gives you wrinkles, instead you sit with your granddaughter and play Barbie and pray everything turns out alright.” She tweaked Morgan’s nose, “And it usually does.”
That didn’t sound like something Sidney would ever be able to do, but she chose not to say that out loud. She didn’t want Glory thinking she couldn’t handle being with someone in the Club.
She looked down at Morgan who was busy working a pair of pants on to a doll, her little tongue between her lips, concentrating on her task, “Well then, mind if I play with y’all while I wait for him.”
“Purplina is going to take a nap right now. But you can make me some macaroni and cheese.” Morgan gave her her best grin and Sidney couldn’t resist.<
br />
She laughed, “Let me go look in the kitchen, and if they’ve got the stuff, I’ll make it.”
“Make enough for my Glory too, she’ll love it!”
***
Sidney spent the better part of two hours sitting with Glory and Morgan, playing dolls, eating a makeshift version of mac and cheese, and she’d almost given up on Red making an appearance at the clubhouse that day. The sun was already setting low on the horizon and no one who’d come in so far had seen him.
She was about to make her excuses when she saw Glory stiffen where she sat, her eyes toward the door.
In walked Demon, arrogant swagger carrying him forward, as if he owned everything in sight. His black hair and black clothes just added to the aura of sex and power that seemed to radiate from him wherever he went. There was no mistaking the danger and appeal of this man, even if he was a jackass.
He came to stand within inches of her, but his eyes hadn’t left Morgan. “God she looks just like her,” his words were low, she wasn’t sure if anyone else was meant to hear them.
“Come on Morgan, get your things together, it’s time to go home.”
“Nice to see you Glory,” he smirked in the older woman’s direction. “You look… well.”
Glory didn’t say a word to him, just continued to help Morgan pack up her toys in a little cartoon castle covered suitcase.
“We’ll see you later Sidney,” Glory said as she picked up Morgan and slung her on her hip.
“Bye bye Sidney, I love you!” Morgan leaned out of Glory’s arms and gave Sidney a big wet kiss on the cheek.
“I love you too, I’ll come visit soon.”
She watched the pair walk out the door and turned to Demon.
“Well that was awkward,”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” He turned and walked towards the bar, the arrogance and anger practically jumping off of him.
Sidney followed behind, “Have you seen Red today.”
“Nope,” he grabbed a beer out of the fridge behind the bar and held one up to her, “Want one?”
“No thanks. So what was all that about with Glory?”
“Ancient history.” He didn’t seem like he wanted to comment further so she changed the subject.
“Who does she look just like,” Demon just stared at her, “Morgan, when you walked in you said, ‘God she looks just like her.’ Who is her?”
“Her mother, who did you think I was talking about Brittney Spears?” Demon jumped over the bar instead of going around it like a normal person. God he was infuriating.
“But who was she?”
Demon’s eyes clouded, “That’s one you’re going to have to ask Red about, darlin’. What he does or doesn’t tell you isn’t any of my business.”
“Well Red isn’t exactly here at the moment, is he? And he’s such a talker, I’m sure he’ll just tell me all about it next time I see him.”
“Not my problem, sugar.”
She looked at Demon through the slits of her narrowed eyes. She had the inexplicable urge to slap him, instead she decided to leave.
“Fine, whatever.” She turned to go get her purse, she obviously wasn’t going to get any answers or even basic civil conversation out of him, so why stick around. No wonder Glory had high tailed it out of there when he walked in. He was like… people repellant no matter how good he looked in those fitted jeans and tight black shirt.
“I heard about you and Red,” he said from behind her.
She stopped and faced him, “And what did he tell you?”
“That you’re a,” he looked both ways as if making sure the coast was clear, then cupped his hands around his mouth and loudly whispered, “witch.”
She held her head up defiantly, “And what’s wrong with that? I have just as much right to exist as any of you shifters do. I shouldn’t be discriminated against because of the circumstances of my birth. And I am the same person now that I was before he found out,” she lowered her voice in case there actually were others listening, “what I am.”
He held his hands up in front of him, “Sister, you are preaching to the choir. But none of the guys around here are going to feel that way.”
“Yeah, I heard about your stupid book. What does it say, ‘Thou shalt not like witches and shall do everything in your power to make them feel like shit”?”
He smirked, his heart stopping eyes glinting with humor as he took another swig of his beer, “Yeah, something like that. But Red takes it a little more personal than most.”
“But why? I wouldn’t have taken him for a religious fanatic.”
“He’s not. He’s got some… personal issues with witches,” Demon was trying to be enigmatic and it wasn’t amusing her.
“So what’s that got to do with me?” her voice rose, frustration with Demon and with the situation leaking through.
“Like I said before, you need to talk to Red.”
She wanted to stomp her foot and demand answers, “I would if he were here to answer them, but he’s not. You are.”
“Listen, doll. You can get mad at me all you want to, but there ain’t a thing I can do about Red. He was this way before you and he’ll be this way a long time after you’re gone. Just the way it is.”
His eyes were hard, like he was just giving her some tough love, and to her horror she felt herself tearing up. “But why?” she asked softly, her voice wavering as the tears finally made their way down her face. She put her hands up to her face, she didn’t want anyone to see her crying over Red, least of all Demon.
Demon moved off the barstool and with more gentleness than she’d though him capable of, took her in his arm.
The bolt of electricity flew through her again, just like it had when he’d touched her hand in the kitchen, and her breathe caught in her throat. Their eyes locked and she knew he was feeling it as well. She couldn’t focus, couldn’t grasp what was happening, everything began to sway and jumble in her mind.She was drowning in his impossibly green eyes, eyes that seemed to know everything about her, and strangely she felt like she knew all about him too.
She saw him, as a boy playing side by side with Red, as a teenager strumming an old beat up guitar and smiling at a girl with long blonde curls, as a young man arguing with an older man in a Dogs of War cut, Red standing by his side. She saw him a little older, his face bruised and bloody as he watched Red walk away from him… the visions were suddenly jerked away as Demon let her go.
She gasped, drawing in a shocked breath, “What the hell was that?”
He looked confused and lost, “Fuck if I know.” He was panting heavily as well.
“Did you see visions of me?” she could only hope that he hadn’t, she wanted to keep her pathetic life up until this point to herself.
“Yeah,” he looked away, gulping. “Jesus that was freaky.”
“That’s the second time. I felt it in the kitchen when you touched my hand before, remember?”
“Could you shut the fuck up, bitch.” Sidney looked at him wide eyed, not sure what had prompted him to talk to her like that, “Not you, not you. It’s this ghost that keeps following me around. Nevermind. Yeah I remember it. I thought it was just like, physical attraction or whatever.”
Sidney was confused, “Ghost?” she asked but didn’t give him time to answer, “Physical attraction? You know I’m with Red, or was with him at the time.” She’d tried to push the thought of that moment out of her mind, but if she were honest with herself she had thought it was some extreme form of instant attraction herself.
Demon seemed to be getting his composure back, and he smiled at her, a little sideways smile that made her want to either kiss him or smack him, “Oh Sids, you don’t have to hide how you feel about me. I mean come on, you’ve got to admit, as weird as it was, it was pretty hot?”
Sidney’s mouth opened and closed, wanting to deny it but knowing that she couldn’t. Her body still thrummed in response to just a simple hug, “Can you not be an ass just long enough for
us to figure this out?”
He shook his head, “I doubt it, it’s genetic.”
“God, I can’t even deal with you right now. I’ll go get my own answers,” she huffed as she turned away and back again, “without you.”
“You do that, I’ll be anxiously waiting to hear what you find out,” he called to her.
“Maybe I’ll just keep it between me and,” she looked around, wishing there were more people around, and yelled, “THE WITCHES.” She wanted everyone to know who and what she was. Screw them if they couldn’t handle it.
“How much longer?” Squint shouted, the wind snatching the words away.
“What?” Red couldn’t hear anything over the roar of his bike and the rush of air pummeling him as they flew over the asphalt.
“How much longer?” Squint repeated.
“As long as it takes dipshit,” Red was tired of the damn complaints coming from Squint and Squirt. They should have been used to long rides by now, instead they were complaining about numb asses and hot legs. It was like riding with fucking toddlers. Part of that was the club’s fault, they should have made sure the prospects were getting enough road time. Evidently that hadn’t been big on Big Dogs list of priorities.
At least Tinker was riding in obliging silence. Red just wanted to feel the road and visualize Big Dogs face when he finally got to him and confronted him about his betrayal. He wanted to hear him try to talk his way out of it and think he was making a believable case. Then Red wanted to rip his goddamned throat out.
Just thinking about it left a deep feeling of satisfaction inside. Red had never enjoyed killing. Not the way that Demon did, relishing the blood and gore as he sliced through warm bodies. Red did it out of necessity, because he had to protect his people, his club, his family, not because he liked it. But this was going to be different. He was going to enjoy every second he spent dismembering Big Dog, Trainz, and BillCo. He was going to enjoy their screams, their cries for mercy, the feel of their warm blood gushing over his teeth. He was going to savor it all.
Dogs of War Episode 5 Page 3
