“I just couldn’t do it,” she repeated helplessly, wondering when she’d become such a coward.
“Because Alicia was there?”
“And everyone else. I didn’t want to ruin your day with my sadness.”
Jordan didn’t look convinced. “I don’t think that would have happened.”
She blinked away a tear. “I am really sorry.”
“Oh, don’t cry,” Jordan said hastily. “You know what a sympathetic crier I am.”
Kelly sniffed. “I feel so bad. I was wrong. I was scared to face everyone. I hate how people look at me with pity. They don’t know what to say to me, and I don’t know what to say to them. It’s so awkward.”
“Is that why you moved away?”
“Yes, because in Sacramento, no one knows who I am. They don’t have expectations or opinions, and I can blend into the woodwork.”
“But don’t you miss everyone here?”
“I miss some people—like you.”
Jordan’s expression softened. “I miss you, too. And now it’s my turn to apologize for being so hard on you. You’re here now, and at least I can share the photos with you.” She held up a picture. “What do you think of my flowers? I ended up using Lori Rudowsky, and I think she did a good job.”
“She did a great job,” Kelly said, her mind flashing back to the day they’d visited three florists to get bids on wedding flowers. Jordan had gotten engaged just a month after she had, and they’d made a lot of their preliminary plans together.
Jordan smiled as she studied another photograph.
“What’s so funny?”
“Philip’s uncle.” She turned the picture around to reveal a very large man with a drink in his hand and a red flush on his cheeks. “He got wasted at the reception and tried to pick up Lois Marblestone.”
“I don’t think anyone has tried to pick up Lois Marblestone in twenty-five years.” The stone-faced sixty-plus woman was a vice president of the local bank and had a dour expression and a sharp tongue. Her first husband had disappeared one night, and no one had heard a word from him since.
“Mrs. Marblestone gave him a shove, and he landed ass-first in the water fountain,” Jordan continued with a grin. “It was pretty funny. He’s kind of a prick. But you can’t choose the family you marry into, only the man.”
“True.” She’d been lucky with the Farrs. Not a bad apple in the bunch. She flipped through several more photos, her hand stilling on a picture of Jordan and her bridesmaids, Alicia and Jordan’s younger sister, Robin. “Pretty dresses,” she said, careful to keep a neutral tone. “I’m glad you went with these.” Another memory took her back. They’d spent more time laughing and trying on bad dresses than seriously looking for the right fit. At the time, they’d also been shopping for bridesmaids’ dresses for her wedding.
“You don’t really want to do this, do you?” Jordan said quietly.
“Yes and no,” she said, lifting her head to meet Jordan’s gaze. “It is nice to see your pictures and share in your day.”
“But it reminds you of the day that didn’t happen. I’m such an idiot.” Jordan gathered the photos and returned them to the envelope. “That’s enough of that.”
“You don’t have to stop on my account,” Kelly protested.
“It’s fine. I’ll look at them with Philip and my parents. When am I going to see you again?”
“Uh, I don’t know. I’ll be around for a few months.”
“That’s too vague,” Jordan said. “We need to plan a dinner. I miss you.” She took a deep breath. “And Alicia misses you, too.”
She stiffened. “I can’t talk about Alicia.”
“If you can’t talk about her, then talk to her. I want this feud between my two best friends to be over.”
“That won’t happen, Jordan. And I did talk to Alicia yesterday, but we didn’t get very far. She’s going to reopen her business, and I can’t stand the thought of that, not to mention the fact that she’s still insisting she did nothing wrong.”
“Well, I don’t know what happened that day on the river, but I’m not sure Alicia will be able to reopen after the fire last night.”
Kelly sat up straight, her nerves tingling. “What fire? What are you talking about?”
“You didn’t hear? Someone set fire to the Haydens’ office and boatyard. The rafts and all the equipment went up in flames.”
“Oh, my God. Was anyone hurt?”
“No. Apparently, Alicia saw the flames, and the fire department got out there fast, but they couldn’t really save much. I called her earlier, but she couldn’t talk long. She did say it’s clear that it was arson.”
“Who would do that?”
Jordan’s gaze fixed on hers. “Probably someone who really loved Brian and doesn’t want to see the Haydens reopen their business.”
“You don’t think that I—”
“No, not you,” Jordan said quickly. “Maybe Russell or one of Brian’s other friends.”
Russ was a bitter man filled with rage, but the idea that he would set fire to Alicia’s business made her sick to her stomach. It couldn’t be him. And she couldn’t imagine who it could be. All of Brian’s friends were good, honest, caring people.
“Alicia’s father must be devastated,” Jordan said. “His whole life just went up in smoke. Ever since I’ve known him, he’s been in love with his life as a river guide. Alicia used to say her parents’ marriage broke up because of her father’s devotion to running the river.”
Kelly got to her feet, too restless to sit. She knew all too well how much the Haydens loved the river. She’d grown up in their house. She’d been on rafting trips with them, too—none of the more dangerous runs like the one Brian had taken, but she’d shared the river experience with them. It wasn’t her favorite thing to do. She’d rather be someplace where she had solid ground under her feet, but she could appreciate how much the river meant to them, because it meant a lot to many people in town. You didn’t live by a river that flooded every decade or so unless you loved it, unless you were willing to risk losing everything just to have a place at the water’s edge.
But maybe George had given up his right to be on the river, she told herself, trying to hang on to the anger that had been getting her through the past six months. Maybe he’d run the river one time too many, and he deserved to be bound to the land for the rest of his life. At least he was still alive.
“Kelly?” Jordan’s questioning voice brought her head around.
“I can’t believe Dina didn’t say anything about the fire,” Kelly said. In fact, Dina had been cheerful, happy. Was that because she knew the Haydens were probably done?
“Maybe Dina doesn’t know, although that’s doubtful. It’s all over town, and you know how quickly news spreads around here. Dina might not have wanted to bring it up to you, because of your past connection with Alicia.”
“Russell couldn’t have done this. It had to be someone else. Perhaps one of those guys from Wild River Tours.”
Jordan gave her a doubtful look. “Do you really think a big, successful company would have to resort to those kinds of tactics to drive away a business that was already sinking? This feels more like revenge to me. There were twelve guys on that trip, and all of them were there for Brian. It could have been any one of them.”
But those twelve guys were all her friends, too—at least, most of them. A couple had been Brian’s college friends, whom she’d barely met.
“I have to go,” she said.
Jordan went with her to the door. “Do you want to get some coffee or something? You look upset.”
“I just need some air,” she said, stepping outside with relief.
“Don’t forget to lock the door,” Jordan reminded her.
Kelly pulled out her keys, another painful reminder of the past. When would they stop coming? She locked the door with a shaky hand and slipped the keys back into her bag, very aware that Jordan was looking at her with concern.
�
�I wish I could make things better,” Jordan murmured.
“No one can, but I appreciate the sentiment. I just need to find a way to fix things and move on.”
Jordan smiled. “You know who used to be the fixer in the group? Alicia.”
She shook her head. “Stop.”
“Just stating a fact.”
“And you used to be, and still are, the one who doesn’t know when to shut up.”
“True,” Jordan agreed with a smile. “But I do know when to make an exit. So I’m going. I will be in touch.” She leaned over and gave her a quick hug. “I’m glad you’re back.”
Kelly watched Jordan walk down the sidewalk, wishing she felt glad to be back, but all she felt was turmoil and a certainty that things were going to get worse before they got better. She needed to do something, but she wasn’t sure what. Talking to Russell was probably a good idea, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for that. Did she want to ask a question when the answer might not be what she wanted to hear?
A horn honked, and she jumped.
It was Jared in his tow truck. He pulled up alongside the curb and lowered the window on the passenger side. “What are you up to?” His gaze moved past her to the studio window. “Checking out the old haunts?”
“Not intentionally. I just ended up here.” She moved closer to the truck. “Do you know anything about Alicia’s business being burned down?”
His expression turned somber. “No more than what you just said.”
“You don’t know who did it?”
“Should I?”
“No, I just … I don’t know what to think. Who would do that to them?”
“Get in the truck, Kelly.”
“Why?”
“Because you need someone to talk to.”
“I should talk to the Farrs.”
“I’m a better choice right now.”
“Why is that?” she asked suspiciously.
“I’ll tell you after you get in. Come on, Kelly. Don’t try to pretend you have someplace else to go. We’ll take a ride.”
“The last time we took a ride, you ran your father’s car into a fence.”
He grinned. “Selective memory, sweetheart. You were driving.”
“Correction—you were teaching me how to drive a stick, and you neglected to tell me where reverse was, so technically, it was your fault.”
“Tell me, who was your scapegoat when I wasn’t around?”
“I didn’t need one, because I only got into trouble when I was with you.”
“But we had some fun along the way.”
She shook her head but found herself opening the door of his truck and sliding into the passenger seat. “Aren’t you supposed to be working now?”
“It’s a slow day. The weather is good, and most people are at the festival. But if we get a call, you might have to help me change a tire.”
“Yeah, like that’s going to happen.”
“I forgot. You’re a girlie girl. Alicia was the one who loved to get dirty.”
Her smile faded. “We’re not talking about her.”
He put up a hand. “Sorry, it just came out.”
“I’m still mad at you about what you said the other day.”
“I figured. Anywhere you want to go?”
She let out a sigh. “Every time I make a plan, it goes haywire, so just drive, and let’s see where we end up.”
They ended up near Miller’s Creek, a longtime picnic area under a canopy of towering redwood trees about five miles out of town. It was a popular place in the summer, but today there was no one around. Jared parked the truck on a dirt road, and they walked down a well-trodden path to the creek.
“I haven’t been here in years,” Kelly said as they wandered through the trees and bushes, the hum of the creek just up ahead. “My dad used to bring me here when I was a little girl. It was one of his favorite places. He used to take his notebook out and write poems while I played on the rocks.”
“I didn’t know your dad was a writer.”
“Just a hobbyist, but he was pretty good. He said these woods inspired him. I don’t think I realized it at the time, but I always wanted to be just like him.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, this place looks pretty much the same.”
“Not a lot changes around here, Kelly, but you know that. And you used to like it.”
“Well, this place may not have changed, but I have.”
“You really like it in Sacramento?”
“It’s a beautiful city. It has its own river but not nearly as rural. I like the action. The traffic sometimes makes me a little crazy, but it’s been a good change for me.”
“Still, it’s not home.”
“Are you trying to get me to say I miss River Rock?”
He gave her a teasing smile. “Among other things.”
She shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re flirting with me.” In fact, it was a little shocking to be flirted with. She felt like she’d been in a deep, dark cave the last six months, more like a ghost than a woman.
“Sorry, Kelly.” His smile disappeared. “I forgot for a minute.”
She held up a hand. “Please don’t apologize. It’s kind of nice to be treated normally. Most people still tiptoe around me. When I go into town, I feel like everyone is looking at me.”
“It must be uncomfortable. You like to hide in the background.”
“Excuse me?”
“Like you used to do in school,” he said with a shrug. “You were always the girl behind the curtain instead of onstage. You were sewing costumes or painting the scenery, memorizing everyone’s lines for them.”
“I was the stage manager. And if I hadn’t been doing all that, you wouldn’t have been able to ham it up onstage.”
“True, but it didn’t end there. In the last couple of years, you’ve always been the woman in the kitchen doing the cooking, not the one out front entertaining. You cooked at your own engagement party, for God’s sake. The only time I saw you and Brian together that night was when Russell made his toast.”
“I’m a chef. I wanted to make the food for my party, and I spent plenty of time with Brian that night,” she said defensively. “You are so annoying, Jared.”
“Yeah, because I know you too well, and you don’t like it.”
She didn’t like it. She was shy and private by nature, and most people took that at face value, but Jared always liked to get in little digs at her. “This was a mistake. I should have known that five minutes with you would make me want to hit you.”
He smiled. “I’d like to see that.”
“Don’t push me, or you might,” she warned.
He held up his hands in surrender. Turning her back on him, she walked over to the creek, hoping to find some calm in the nature that surrounded her. A moment later, Jared approached with a bouquet of wild-flowers in his hand.
“Truce?” he asked.
She accepted his bouquet with a reluctant smile. “Yes, but only because I have a lot of other people to worry about besides you.” She walked over to an old bench and sat down. “These will make a nice centerpiece,” she said, inhaling the sweet floral scent. “They’re very pretty.”
He sat down beside her. “Like you,” he said with a smile.
“Save it for some girl who cares.” She paused, suddenly curious. “Is there a girl?”
“Not at the moment.”
“Why not? As I recall, you’ve never had trouble getting a date.”
“Dates are easy to come by, but more than that—not so much.”
The yearning note in his voice surprised her. Jared had been a player since he was fifteen. He’d always had a different girl on his arm. But he had been coming alone to more events in the past two years. “Whatever happened to that woman you were seeing last year—Elizabeth, right? I thought you were talking about living together.”
“For a while, but she decided River Rock was way too small for her.”
“You didn’t consider moving?�
�
“I considered it. But I don’t think it was just River Rock that bothered her. She got married last month.”
“Whoa, that was fast.”
“I guess when you know it’s right—it’s right. To be honest, I think she made the right decision in leaving.”
“Probably. You are a pain in the ass,” she teased. “Did she break your heart?”
“Not at all.”
She shivered as a gust of wind blew past. Where they were sitting, the tall trees blocked out most of the sunlight, reminding her of what Jared had said about her liking to be in the background. “You know, just because I don’t like to be front and center doesn’t mean I’m hiding,” she said. “I’m not some wimpy, shy girl who can’t speak up for herself.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I just think that once in a while, you should take yourself out of the shadows.”
“I came out of the shadows when Brian died. I couldn’t hide from all the sympathetic stares, even though I wanted to. I had to sit in the front row at his funeral, and I had to shake hands and receive hugs and do what I could to support his family.”
“That’s true.” Jared paused. “Maybe after Brian’s death, you came out of his shadow, too.”
Kelly gave him a glare. “Really? Are we going there?”
“You told me on Friday to stop being neutral, stop having no opinion. I always had an opinion about you and Brian. I just didn’t share it.”
“And what is that opinion?”
He shrugged. “I never got why you two were together.”
She was surprised by his words. “You were friends with Brian. How can you say that?”
“Because Brian was my friend. I know what he was like.”
“And I don’t?”
Jared sighed, staring out at the creek for a moment, and then said, “Brian was on his best behavior around you.”
“I know Brian liked to party, that he was wild when he was younger, but he was past that stage. He wanted to move on to the next phase of his life, marriage and children and a house. He wanted the same things I did, Jared. And he loved me, I have no doubts about that,” she added forcefully, feeling the conversation had gotten way out of hand.
The Way Back Home Page 17
