She’d realized it this morning, while she and Angus were both toweling off after their shared shower. She recognized that she couldn’t hide the truth from him, anymore. She loved him too much to lie to him—even by omission. Why she couldn’t have had this revelation when they’d first started sleeping together, she had no idea. No, that wasn’t true. She did. She hadn’t told him because she hadn’t expected that she’d fall in love with him. And she certainly never expected that he’d fall for her. But he had.
She glanced at the dashboard clock. There wasn’t enough time. Her plane was leaving in less than three hours. What kind of a monster would drop that kind of bombshell on someone they loved and then leave the country? Worse, what kind of monster would dump that on the person they loved then leave them to face what was likely going to be an emotionally gutting experience involving a dead brother and still grieving friends and family?
No...she couldn’t tell him, now. She just couldn’t do that to him. That would just be a dick move. She’d tell him after he’d concluded the contract negotiations with the television producers. If he abandoned her like everyone else had, it would be better for both of them if they no longer needed to interact for anything involving his livelihood.
Her throat thickened at the thought of his revulsion and rejection. Sure, he enjoyed her kinky side. And obviously, he wouldn’t break up with her because of that. She couldn’t imagine him being so hypocritical or callous. Though, she hadn’t thought her own family would disown her, either. But, she supposed, it was different when anyone could see her in all her twisted glory.
Being in the public eye as much as he was, the last thing he needed was for her past to take the attention away from his books, not to mention the possible TV show. Icy realization slithered down her spine. The television industry was brutal. There were people whose only job was digging up dirt on those in the entertainment business—or people associated with them. Bile rose in her throat. Her past could ruin him.
The churning sensation in her stomach grew worse as they pulled into short-term parking. Could she survive if she were outed again? Last time, she’d at least had the comfort of Angus’ books. This time, she wouldn’t even have that. There was no way she could read them without remembering what it had been like to love him. To be loved by him. Would it be kinder to them both to just break up with him now?
“Hey,” Angus murmured, shutting off the car and turning to her. “What’s going on?”
Jerked from her thoughts, she looked up at him. “What? Nothing. Why?”
He glanced down at her lap. She was squeezing his hand so hard, her fingers were completely white, and he was probably going to have bruises. And she was worrying the hem of her shirt with her other hand. She released him and the fabric immediately and tried to ignore the stiffening and ache in her fingers.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to...”
“It’s fine. What’s wrong?”
She tried to smile. “You mean besides the fact that I’m going to miss you?”
He leaned forward and rested his head against hers. “It’s not that I doubt that, but you’ve got that look about you.”
“What look is that?”
He lifted his head and tucked her hair behind her ear. “The one you get when you’re thinking panicky thoughts.”
How did he even know that?
Her question must have shown on her face, because he smiled sweetly. “In the beginning, I didn’t know what I was looking at. I know, now. I know you.”
Her chest ached. It wasn’t fair that she could fall in love with this amazing man, only to have to give him up. But she knew she’d have to. She’d seen how people had treated her family, how they’d treated her friends.
She loved Angus so much. She couldn’t be the cause of more misery in his life. She couldn’t let everything he’d worked so hard to accomplish be destroyed because of her. And she couldn’t bear to see the resentment and possibly hate he’d eventually feel for her. As soon as everything was completed with the contract negotiations, she’d let him go. She didn’t have a choice.
“I—I’m just freaking out a bit.” There. That wasn’t a lie. “It’s okay. I’ll get over it.” That, however, was a total lie. But she didn’t want him worrying about her. He had enough on his plate.
He cupped her face and dropped a tender kiss on her lips. “It’s going to be all right. We’re going to be all right. I promise.”
“I believe you,” she said, her voice a near whisper. It would be all right. She’d make sure of it. It just wouldn’t be in the way he thought. Turning her head, she pressed a kiss into the center of his palm then sat up. “I suppose I should get in there. Security always takes forever.”
He sighed. “You’re right.” He opened his door.
“You don’t have to go inside. I can manage.”
He raised his eyebrow at her. “If you think I’m just dumping you in a carpark and leaving you to lug in your bag, instead of walking you in and saying goodbye properly, you’ve got a few things to learn, Ms. Burrows.”
She laughed. It sounded a bit watery, but it was still a laugh. His uncanny power to get her to laugh, even when she wouldn’t have thought it was possible, was still hard at work. Maybe it was his mutant ability. “Fine.”
He insisted on carrying her suitcase for her and holding her hand. And once she was checked in and her luggage was on the conveyer, he slipped his arm around her, and they walked toward security. She felt like she was being led off to the guillotine. It was kind of true. Only instead of getting her head cut off, she was getting her heart cut out. Well, technically, she’d be the one doing the cutting... That was a terrible analogy. This was why she wasn’t a writer. Evocative and lyrical, my ass.
Security looked surprisingly dead for Heathrow. She checked the time on her phone. She still had a few minutes before she needed to go through.
Angus stopped and led her toward the wall near the stanchions. “So, I know you have an aversion to photos.”
She nodded as she stared at him and waited for him to continue.
“But since I’m not going to get to see you for a week, maybe you could just humor me? I just don’t want to wake up tomorrow convinced I imagined you.”
She smiled and shook her head. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I promise you, no one will see it but me.”
Her smile froze. Nigel had promised her the same thing. But Angus wasn’t Nigel, and besides, they were in the middle of a busy airport and had all their clothes on.
Angus looked at her hopefully.
“Okay. Let’s do this.”
He turned his phone to selfie mode and pulled her close to him as he snapped the photos, smiling then kissing her cheek. He quickly texted them to her before shoving his phone in his pocket. She leaned against the wall and gazed up at him, memorizing his features, memorizing everything about him. He pulled her into his arms, and she buried her face in his neck.
“I know it’s only for a week, but it feels like it’ll be forever,” he murmured.
She just nodded. It wasn’t like she could tell him he was right—it would end up being forever.
“I know how you feel about exhibitionism,” he murmured. “But what are your thoughts about PDAs, because I desperately need to kiss you, right now.”
She desperately needed it, too. It might very well be the last one they ever shared. She pressed her lips against his neck and trailed her lips up and along his jaw until he turned his head and captured her mouth. Sliding his hand up her spine, he splayed his fingers through her hair and cupped the back of her head.
He kissed her slowly at first—gently, almost reverently. As she melted against him, the kiss deepened. She opened beneath his mouth, welcoming him inside for what she knew would be the last time.
Her eyes burned behind her closed lids. She couldn’t keep the tears back, no matter how hard she tried. They slipped free beneath her lashes. And hoping that Angus wouldn’t notice was futile.<
br />
He lifted his head and cupped her cheeks, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. “What’s this, now?”
“I’m sorry I’m so bad at this.”
He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her forehead then pulled her into his chest. “I’m not sure what you think you’re bad at.”
She shrugged, her shoulders slightly lifting his arms. “Not crying over every stupid thing. Saying goodbye. Being in love.” She tilted her head back, needing to see his face. “But I do love you. You know that, right?”
Maybe it was selfish of her, but even though she knew she was going to have to let him go, she wanted him to know that she truly did love him. More than anything.
He stared into her face, his eyes so full of warmth and love that she almost started crying again. “I know you do. I love you, too. It’s only a week—a long fucking week, mind. But we’ll figure this all out, I promise.” She managed a trembling smile, and he murmured, “There’s my girl.”
“So, this is your assistant, then?”
Eliza stiffened at the question that had come from behind Angus. No. No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-not him. Not him. Please not him.
Angus’ expression darkened. As he turned, she caught a glimpse of the speaker, and everything in her died. He was older, but still handsome. Blond, with the tiniest bit of gray at his temples—but his blue eyes were just as cold and cruel as they’d ever been.
Angus slid his arm around her waist and attempted to tug her forward, but she stayed frozen in place. “This is Nigel Ainsworth. We went to uni together.” He glanced back at Nigel and added, “This is—”
“Oh, Libby and I know each other quite well, don’t we, pet?”
Angus’ head whipped back and forth, and she could see the exact moment everything began clicking into place in his head.
Icy, choking terror clogged her throat, but she forced herself to speak. “Don’t call me that.”
Nigel smiled, and it was all she could do not to vomit on his feet. “Now, why wouldn’t I call you by your name?”
“Don’t call me ‘pet’.” Anger quickly superseded fear as years’ worth of rage bubbled to the surface and burst through. “Don’t ever speak to me again. I don’t know what you’re doing here, but stay the fuck away from me.”
“Language, Libby, dear.”
She had no idea where she was finding the strength to stand up to the man who’d ruined her entire past, but she wasn’t going to back down. Not now that he was clearly here to destroy her present, too. And that was the problem with Nigel. He was never ever satisfied. Nothing was ever good enough for him. She had never been good enough for him. When she’d realized that she never would be, she’d gotten out, and he’d made her pay.
Angus stepped in front of Eliza and gently urged her behind him in a sweetly protective gesture. “I don’t know what you’re doing here, Nigel, but you need to leave. Now.”
“I’d gone to Foyles to see you. But then I thought I spotted our lovely Libby, here. I hadn’t been sure, but I’m sure you’ll understand that curiosity compelled me to find out.” He craned his head around Angus. “And here you are. A redhead instead of a blonde, and you’ve definitely put on a few pounds, haven’t you, pet?”
Angus turned to her, looking absolutely murderous. “C’mon, let’s go before I end up in a remand center for beating him to death.”
She wanted to go with Angus, as far away as possible from Nigel, but she found herself rooted at the spot, staring at him. “It’s been five years. You ruined my life. What more do you want?” Though, even as the question hit the air, she knew. She knew why the bastard had tracked them down in a public place and exactly what he wanted.
“You always were such a stupid cunt.”
At that, Angus whirled toward the other man, fist clenched, but Eliza caught his arm. “Don’t,” she murmured. “He’s not worth it.”
“But you are.”
She shook her head. “Don’t. You’ve got the dedication coming up. Don’t do this.” She tightened her hands around his forearm. “Seriously, it’s not worth it.”
“Grab your mobile, mate. I’ll give you what I came here to give you, then I’ll be on my way.”
Eliza’s hands fell away from Angus’ arm. She’d wanted to be the one to tell him when she explained why they couldn’t be together. But Nigel had fucking taken that, too. He was the human equivalent of napalm—laying waste to her life until it was nothing but smoldering ruins.
Angus glanced back at her and mouthed, “Are you okay?”
She nodded, knowing exactly what was coming and also knowing this was her only chance to do what she needed to do. When he turned back toward Nigel, she took one quiet step to the side, then another and another, keeping her eyes on both men the entire time.
Nigel tracked her progress. He might have been staring at his phone, but she saw him glancing at her from the corner of his eye. The question was, was he going to tell Angus or let the crowd swallow her up? As soon as she got close to the cordoned area outside security, she ducked under the rope and quickly joined the end of the line as a family filed in behind her, having properly navigating the path through the zigzagging stanchions.
Glancing back once more at Angus and Nigel, while the father behind her bitched about line-cutters, she was just in time to see Angus glance around for her, his expression frantic. Swiping at the moisture gathering in her eyes, she handed her boarding pass to the woman with the barcode scanner.
They both jolted when Angus yelled her name, the sound echoing through the concourse. There was no missing the pain in his voice, and it nearly brought her to her knees. The woman glanced at Eliza’s ticket again—noting her name, maybe—then looking intently past the line where he was still calling for her. From the sound of it, he was getting closer.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Angus ran toward the security line, mobile still clutched in his hand. He’d gotten it out of his pocket—anything to get rid of Nigel—and now he was torn between pounding Nigel bloody and getting to Eliza. Eliza obviously won, but one way or another, he’d take Nigel down. But not until Angus got to her.
He darted under the maze of ropes the airport used to keep the passengers in line.
“Sir, you need to move to the end of the line!”
“Please, it’s an emergency. I need to speak to the woman who just went through.”
“I’ll have to ask you to move to the end of the line, sir.”
“I’m begging you. It’s urgent that I speak with her.” Palms slick with sweat, and his heart thrashing against his chest, Angus tried to stay calm while nausea turned his stomach.
“Sir, do you have a boarding pass?”
“No, but—”
She reached toward the radio attached to her vest. “Do I need to call security, or are you going to leave?”
Christ, maybe he would end up in jail before this was over. “I’m going.” He started to turn, then stopped. “I know you can’t let me through.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Not unless you buy a ticket.”
He wasn’t sure if it was a challenge or a suggestion. Not that it mattered—he knew how he was choosing to interpret it. “I’m worried about her. She just got...some bad news.” As he spoke, he brought up one of the photos he’d just taken of her and showed the agent. It went against everything in him to violate her privacy this way, but the memory of her hyperventilating in the closet pushed him forward. He couldn’t stand the thought of her panicking with no one to help her. “And she suffers from an anxiety disorder. Is there any way someone could find her and check on her?”
The attendant’s expression softened slightly. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you.” He quickly pulled a receipt from his pocket and scrawled Eliza’s name, his name and his number on it and handed it to her. “If she seems to need help.”
The woman took it, and he stepped aside so she could scan the ticket of the next person in line. He made his way to the ticket counter,
occasionally checking over his shoulder to see if he could catch a glimpse of Eliza beyond the security checkpoint. The security attendant had stepped slightly away from the line and was speaking with a woman who had a medical patch on her uniform. The woman she spoke with passed her a piece of paper. It was impossible to tell at this distance, but he thought it might be his phone number.
He joined the line at the British Airways ticket counter and dialed Eliza’s number while he was waiting. It went straight to voicemail.
“Eliza, please. I need to talk to you.”
He texted her as he moved up another space in line.
—Please call me. Text me. Something. I need to talk to you. I love you. I don’t care about anything that happened with Nigel. This doesn’t change anything.
Except, he knew for her, it had.
“May I help you?”
He glanced up at the ticket agent. “I need a ticket for the flight to New York that’s leaving in,” he glanced at the clock, “an hour and twenty minutes.”
After a bit of typing and a few mouse clicks, he said, “I’m sorry, sir. That flight is completely full. There’s a seven o’clock flight. I can book you on that.”
“Does it leave from the same concourse?”
The agent stared at Angus a moment then tapped on his keyboard.
“No. You’d have go to Terminal 5C.”
Angus shook his head. “Look, I need to be in that concourse.”
“Buuuuuut...the seven o’clock flight doesn’t leave from there.” He spoke slowly as though Angus were having trouble understanding simple logic.
“No, I know that.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, I want to buy a ticket for a flight that takes off from this terminal. I don’t care where the flight goes. I’m not actually going to take it. I just need to speak to someone who’s already gone through the security checkpoint.”
Rewritten (The Bound Series Book 7) Page 22
