by Holly Evans
None of us said a word on the drive over to the very expensive-looking building. It shimmered with fae magic. I wondered what the humans saw when they looked at the building before us. To my eyes, it was a four-story cream building with a series of columns covered in intricate interlocking sigils. The sheer amount of magic that must have gone into that building was insane. It would have taken a talented coven weeks. Of course, it was fae magic, so the gods only knew how long it took them. It could have been the blink of an eye, I supposed.
Alasdair remained glued to my side, which I appreciated. He was a solid presence that gave me some much-needed support. Grayson led us up the shallow steps into the grand entryway complete with oil-painted ceiling. The ceiling painting depicted a scene of balance and union with every major species represented. Each stood equal with all others in an even circle. The Council was supposed to represent everyone equally in a balanced fashion that was best for every magical being. Of course, that couldn’t possibly be true. No one was perfect.
My heart was racing and my hands were beginning to tremble as we followed Grayson down the wide hallway with the cream marble floors and paintings of regal-looking elves and what I assumed were shifters on the wall. He didn’t knock as he opened the dark wooden door and revealed a group of thirteen people sitting around a dark oval table.
“Grayson, you’re late,” an older bear shifter rumbled.
To his credit, Grayson stood his ground, and I got the distinct impression that he had spent a good deal of time around the Council.
“Traffic was a bitch,” Grayson said flatly.
Alasdair put his hand on my lower back, and I realized I’d stopped moving. My feet had become rooted to the floor.
“Niko, I assume,” a female sidhe said, her golden eyes drinking in every detail of me and sending a shiver down my spine.
“I’m Niko,” I said as I lifted my chin and pretended I wasn’t terrified.
“Tell us, Niko, what exactly is so special about you?” the bear shifter asked.
“Not this again,” I growled.
All eyes turned to me.
“I have no idea. I don’t know what you know, but I suspect it’s more than me.”
“You will show the appropriate respect when addressing the Council!” a red-headed witch said.
“Back down, Livinia,” a man with a striking resemblance to Grayson, not much older than me with deep blue eyes growled.
“Marrok Hawke,” the sidhe woman warned.
Grayson’s father stared her down and dared her to push further. The sidhe woman looked down and away. The man turned his attention back to me.
“Tell us everything you do know, Niko,” he said gently.
“And why would I want to do that?” I demanded.
I had no reason to trust any of them. Grayson seemed like a great guy, but the Council was something else entirely.
“It is in Niko’s best interests that as few people as possible know the full extent of his history and situation,” Alasdair said.
“We are the Council, Guardian Kerrigan,” the red headed witch said.
“And I am a Guardian and Niko’s partner,” Alasdair challenged.
“Niko, you are being given the full protection of the Council from the hunters. We believe you are a valuable asset that must be protected,” Grayson’s father said.
Some of the other Council members muttered and grumbled, but none dared voice their complaints fully.
“Grayson, make the arrangements.”
Alasdair led me back out of the room. I waited until we were in the car before I took a full breath.
“What arrangements?” I asked Grayson.
“Dad wants to speak to you alone. He’s concerned about the sidhe queen.”
“What did the Council want from me?”
“They wanted to know everything about you. You did the right thing, Niko. I wouldn’t trust those bastards as far as I can throw them. Kisen, the sidhe woman, knows far more than she’s admitted thus far. She has to - as a sidhe, she’ll be close to the queen.”
I hated politics.
Forty-Six
Alasdair had remained close all through the evening. Grayson had crashed on our couch, having decided that I needed the extra company. I’d arranged to speak to Grayson’s father at the soonest possible time, but given we were trying to stop a killer and he was doing whatever marrok hellhounds did, we didn’t have a set time and date. Alasdair made no attempts to hide the fact he nuzzled his face against my neck and wrapped his arm around me as I fell asleep, and for once I didn’t feel the need to try and push him away.
I woke up to Alasdair’s teeth gently grazing my throat and his chest pressed against my back. He continued his gentle bites down over my shoulder before I finally groaned and sat up. I couldn’t get lost in all of that, not with everything going on.
“What’s gotten into you this morning?” I asked him.
He’d been pushy, but that was a whole new level.
“Are you seriously territorial because Grayson’s here?”
“I admit your drooling over him doesn’t sit well with me, but the fact he’s asexual means he’s hardly a threat.”
I stood up and tried to formulate a response to that. I was mortified, both because I’d likely made Grayson uncomfortable and because I’d apparently been so blatant about it.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I said, “I’ll apologise to him for making a dick of myself.”
“Stop fucking in there, we have to set Alain up as bait!” Grayson shouted.
Alasdair nipped the tip of my ear as he walked past and growled, “Just remember that you’re my partner.”
Fantastic. I had a territorial dire wolf to add to my list of things making my life difficult.
Alasdair was on the phone trying to convince Alain that being bait for a serial killer was a great idea. I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans and hunched my shoulders, out of dread for what was coming rather than submission, and approached Grayson, who was looking out the window.
“So, er… Alasdair said I might have made you uncomfortable with my… being myself. I had no idea you were asexual. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
Grayson laughed in that contagious bubbly way of his.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s not like you groped me or anything. Does this mean you and Alasdair are finally making progress?”
I looked up at him.
“That depends on what type of progress you mean…”
He raised an eyebrow at me.
“Alain has agreed. We’re setting him up in a small park he frequents. He’ll appear to be alone and vulnerable. Renée won’t be able to resist,” Alasdair said.
The idea of using Alain as bait still didn’t sit well with me, but we didn’t have another choice. Renée was already going off the books, and she had people watching her back. We didn’t have the time to keep looking through the alchemists, let alone the black market and such.
Forty-Seven
We’d been watching Alain at the park and his home for three long, torturously boring days. Nothing. Not so much as a hint of shadow magic. I was perched in the boughs of a large tree overlooking the park where I got a clear view of Alain sitting on the short grass stargazing. Alasdair was in his wolf form in the trees, close enough that he could reach Alain in a second. Grayson was in the trees on the other side, watching patiently from the shadows.
The days and nights had been nothing but sitting very still and quiet, watching, and waiting. I was not meant to be still for any length of time. Wolves were motion hunters. We didn’t sit and ambush our prey, we chased them through the wilderness until they were exhausted. I most certainly wasn’t meant to be a damn cat.
Once the moon began to rise, I slipped down from my tree and began to slowly walk through the trees. I could walk silently, and I needed to stretch my legs. Alain remained still and calm out on the grass, no doubt thinking profound thoughts while I kept thinking how badly I really w
anted a good Chinese takeaway. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this Guardian thing. So far, I’d failed to save a number of wolves and gotten bored out of my mind sitting in a tree – oh, and attracted the attention of the sidhe queen.
At first, I thought it was just my boredom making me imagine things. The soft tickle of a familiar whisper slipped into the back of my mind. I turned around slowly and began looking for the source. Then, it hit me. My shadow magic burst upwards and filled my veins before I could stop it. The shadows around me slithered and slipped, taking on unnatural shapes.
“I’ve felt you around. You must be the one the sidhe queen wants as her pet,” a female voice said from the darkness.
My night sight was that of a predator, and yet I couldn’t see through the shadow. It was just a wall of oily black. The woman stepped closer. I caught her scent of rotting mulch and seaweed and wrinkled my nose in distaste. I didn’t know if that was her natural scent or some connection to the shadow.
“Why don’t you help me, little wolf?” she asked in a sultry tone.
I bared my teeth.
“Oh, I see, you want the gift for yourself…” she said starting to circle around me.
I stepped into her path and began to approach her. She wasn’t going to take Alain.
“You are not going to kill any more innocent wolves,” I growled.
She laughed, a harsh rasping sound that set my teeth on edge.
“Poor, poor little wolf, you have no idea.”
I heard someone approaching. Her shadows wrapped around my bare hands and caressed the shadow magic that pooled there. I jerked back in horror at how good that felt. She laughed once more before she ran away into the darkness. I took off after her, but her scent cut off suddenly, leaving me turning in slow circles trying to figure out where the fuck she’d gone.
“What happened, Niko? I felt Renée,” Grayson asked.
“She was here. I lost her. I don’t know how,” I said, looking down the dark street.
He took my hand and frowned at it. “Why can I feel her shadow on you?”
I snatched my hand away.
“Because she touched me with it. She was rambling. I don’t know how I lost her.”
“Are you sure you wanted to catch her?” Grayson asked softly.
I snarled at him.
“She has killed wolves, of course I wanted to catch her,” I ground out.
He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes.
“It can’t be easy, having that shadow within you…”
“What happened here?” Alasdair demanded. “Niko, why do you smell like the killer?”
I looked at him with my teeth bared.
“She was here, and I lost her. She used some of her magic on me.”
Alasdair frowned.
“Why didn’t you grab her as soon as you saw her?” he asked gently.
I squeezed my eyes closed. Why hadn’t I? If she had been a rogue lycan, I’d have jumped her without any thought.
“I don’t know. I fucked up,” I said.
“You’re going to be a Guardian, Niko, you need to do better than this. I know it’s hard, but we need more from you,” Alasdair said.
“I’ll see you back at the apartment,” I said.
I didn’t need him rubbing in how badly I’d screwed things up. She was right there, and I’d stood there like a fool, all because of the shadow magic. Why did I have that? It was increasingly feeling like a curse.
Forty-Eight
I got on my bike before either of them could share any more of their disappointment in me. After being stuck in that cursed tree for the last three days, the freedom of the bike was exactly what I needed. I took the long route through the city, enjoying the quiet streets and watching the architecture pass by. As much as I was pissed off and disappointed in myself, I wasn’t going to give up. I wanted to save people, and one stupid setback wasn’t going to stop me from doing exactly that.
I was three blocks away from the apartment when a man in a pitch-black suit and a top hat stepped out into the road in front of me. I screeched to a halt and almost lost control of the bike doing so.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” I shouted in French.
The man turned to face me with a look of mild amusement on his porcelain face. My heart stopped in my chest. The Fear Dorcha.
“Niko, so nice to see you again. I see your connection to shadow is just strong enough to be tempting. My mistress is pleased by that.”
I got off the bike and rolled my shoulders. It looked like the perfect time for a fight to me. I could use someone to take all of that frustration out on. A quiet voice in the back of my mind reminded me of the fearsome reputation the fae before me had. He was used to scare little faelings, or whatever they called their offspring. The Fear Dorcha was supposed to be the ultimate predator, and he was bound to the sidhe queen. I’d had a really shitty few days, and I was more than ready to put that reputation to the test.
He laughed at me.
“Oh, Niko, your fire is amusing, but it will do you no good.”
He was next to me in the blink of an eye.
“Not even the gods will protect you,” he whispered in my ear.
My heart leapt into my throat. The soft words weren’t a threat, they were a promise.
“I’ll return when my mistress grows tired of these games,” he said before he stepped into a shimmering patch of air and vanished.
I threw my hands up and swore in every language I could remember. A car swerved around me, slowing down enough to curse me out for being a moron standing in the middle of the road shouting at the sky.
I shifted into my wolf form and sprawled out on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table. I really wasn’t in the mood to face any more comments or lectures from Alasdair. I needed peace and the blissful escape of sleep. Of course, my sleep wasn’t blissful, and I’d been an idiot to think it would be. The nightmares clawed at my psyche the moment I slipped into unconsciousness. The darkness filled my vision and spilled down my throat, drowning me slowly, my entire body screaming in agony as I tried to fight it off. It all went downhill from there.
I woke up to see Grayson looking down at me with pity in his eyes. The poor little made wasn’t up to scratch after all. I ignored him and shifted to go and grab a shower.
“We’ll fix this, Niko. We think it’s best if you get a few days’ rest,” Alasdair said when I emerged again.
“Ok, whatever,” I said before I headed out into the city in search of breakfast.
It was late afternoon. I hadn’t returned home until one am or so, and the nightmares had kept me under for over twelve hours of fitful painful sleep.
I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing. I wasn’t going to let the Guardian status slip through my fingers. I abandoned the bike in the first space I could find and claimed a small seat in the closest cafe to hand, where I ordered everything on the menu. I was ravenous and expected to burn a lot of calories. Someone, maybe the goddess herself in a twisted attempt at humour, had given me shadow magic. I was going to use that for some good. I didn’t know how, but I was going to do everything I could to make it happen.
I wolfed down my second pain au chocolate while trying to remember what little magic I did know from my childhood. They’d never taught me anything of use besides ‘we must work within our nature’. Of course, they’d never said what the sweet fuck that was supposed to mean, but it gave me an idea. My nature was that of a wolf. I tracked people down by scent, so maybe I could use the trail of shadow Renée had to leave to find her.
It wasn’t a particularly thorough plan, but it was all I had. I knew that Renée had a very strong shadow signature. I felt that rolling off her before I caught her scent. In theory, I’d be able to call up that scent and harness my shadow magic to track her down. I was going to have to depend on my shadow magic kicking in and helping me out, a lot, but it was a starting place. It wasn’t like I had months to spend learning the finer points of magic.
I remembered Anette and the eagerness on her face. I betted she’d have been happy to teach me magic. The price would have been past unacceptable, though. I guarantee it would start with my slavery and go from there. I was done being trapped and used.
Forty-Nine
I turned my phone off. I didn’t want to be interrupted. The coven had always said that you needed a connection when you were trying to work magic. The strongest connection I had to Renée was the warehouse where she’d slipped through our fingers. There was something about the shadow there. With a sense of hope and determination, I got back on the bike and headed back to the warehouse. It took me twice as long as it should have, as I got lost a couple of times, but when I arrived it was as empty and quiet as it had been when we found the ritual.
The feeling of foreboding filled the air as I walked across the cracked concrete and noted a fresh piece of graffiti on the metal wall. The scent of cleaning product stung my nose and made my wolf pull back deeper within me. It wanted nothing to do with what I was going to do.
Goddess be with me, I’m trying to do the right thing.
The floor of the warehouse was spotless. All traces of the ritual were gone, but I could feel the shadow. There was no visual sign of it, but my shadow magic responded. It called to me. I allowed the magic to fill my veins with the cool oil sensation, and I pricked my ears, listening to the rustling whisper that was just out of hearing. My wolf curled up deep within me in hiding. I hoped I wasn’t going to lose that side of me with this experiment.
Sitting down in the middle of where I was sure the ritual had taken place, I tried to ignore the cold hard concrete beneath me and focused on the feel of Renée’s shadow. The shadow magic slithered over my hands, and the whispering grew loud enough for it to almost sound like words, but they weren’t in a language I knew anything of. Slowly, the cold spread through my bones, and I felt as though I was losing my grip on the physical world. The concrete felt so far away.
