by Noir, Stella
The nurse asked a lot of questions, took her vitals, and checked to see how she was healing. A CNA was preparing a bath before physical rehab arrived, and Anna was taking in as much as she could. Rhonda hated getting a bath. The CNA stripped Rhonda of all her clothes, leaving her naked and exposed in the front room of the house. She took the washcloth and methodically started at her head and ended at her feet, not missing an inch in between. Rhonda just knew that at any minute Joel would step in the room and see her laid out like a chicken ready to be plucked.
Surprisingly, everything went smoothly. Her bath was completed and she was dressed in clean pajamas when physical rehab arrived. She was already worn out, but rehab put her through a rigorous hour long workout, with directions to keep up that pace every day until they returned. After they left, she told Anna to get her something for the pain. Every bone in her body was hurting from the morning’s activities. This recovery period was going to be hard, and this was only the first day. Rhonda fell asleep a little later, exhausted, but thankful that she was one day closer to leaving there.
Chapter 14
Rhonda awoke with a start and found Joel sitting in the chair where Anna usually sat. She eyed him wearily, wishing he would go away, but Joel showed no signs of leaving just yet.
“How are you feeling since coming home?” he asked.
“Like I have been hit by a Mack truck! How do you expect me to feel? I can’t walk, I can’t bathe myself, hell, I can’t even wipe myself when I go to the bathroom. Does that make you happy?” she asked.
“No, Rhonda it does not make me happy. I hate seeing you like this, but nothing can be done for now. You are going to need time to heal. If there is anything you want, please let Anna know and I will get it for you,” Joel said.
“What I want is to get out of this bed and walk out that front door, never to see you again. But we both know it will be a long time before that happens,” she sneered.
Joel dropped his head and left the room, refusing to engage Rhonda in an argument. She was still bitter towards him, and only time would tell if she would ever get beyond that.
Shortly after Joel left the room, Anna returned. Rhonda expected that it had been arranged that way. But nothing could be accomplished by getting into an argument with Anna. She was, after all, following her boss’ orders. She was there to help Rhonda, but Joel paid her, therefore Anna was loyal to him. She hated that Anna was placed in the middle, between her and Joel, but there was little she could do right now.
The afternoon was spent resting. Anna was very attentive, but Rhonda was tired and wanted to be left alone. She suggested that Anna take a nap and she would too.
“Oh no, Miss Rhonda. I could never do that. I am here to help you, and besides I get plenty of sleep at night. If you want to rest, you just go ahead. I will stay right over here on the daybed and keep quiet.”
Rhonda knew it would be useless to try and reason with Anna. She took her job seriously, and Rhonda appreciated her devotion, but there were times when Rhonda just longed to be alone. She was not used to having this much attention, and she longed for the day when she could once again take care of herself.
That evening Anna helped Rhonda with dinner before clearing away the dishes and bringing out a deck of cards. Rhonda’s eyebrows shot up and she gave a quizzing look at Anna.
“I thought maybe you would feel like playing a game of poker with me,” Anna said. “We can’t play for real money, but we can pretend these matches are money.”
Rhonda watched as Anna brought out a large box of wooden matches and sat them on the tray over her bed.
“I fear I have never learned how to play poker,” Rhonda said.
“Well then, I will just have to teach you. It is one of my favorite past times,” Anna said.
“Okay, but I warn you, you will be bored to tears.”
For the next two hours there was laughter coming from the front room. Joel sat in his office and wondered what was so amusing, but he dared not interrupt. If Rhonda had found something to amuse herself with then he was glad. Just hearing her laughter made his heart sing. He longed for her to grace him with her laughter, instead of the anger she always had when he was around.
Rhonda was exhausted, and Anna was out of matches. She never knew that playing poker could be so fun. She had always thought it was a game played in bars and behind closed doors. But learning the game with Anna had been fun. Before she knew it, she fell asleep without the aid of medication.
The sun shining through the window woke Rhonda the following morning. She noticed that Anna was already up and quietly working around the room. As soon as she noticed that Rhonda was awake, she grabbed the bedpan and started toward her.
“I will never get used to having to use this thing,” Rhonda said. “I feel so helpless, not able to do anything for myself. I can’t wait until I am able to get out of this bed and walk to the bathroom on my own.”
“Now don’t you worry yourself about that Miss Rhonda. I am glad to help you. It is my job, and I can’t think of anything I would rather be doing,” Anna said.
“But don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to get out and go shopping, or take in a movie?” Rhonda asked.
“No, ma’am. I am very happy here. Mr. Joel treats me well, and I like you a lot. You are a lot more fun than some old spinster I might have if I didn’t have you,” Anna said. “Now, you relax while I go to get your breakfast. I will be right back.”
Anna had said Joel treated her well. She was happy here. How was it that Joel was so good to Anna, but so evil to her? Sure, he had been on his best behavior since the accident, but Rhonda did not trust him. One day she would get well, and then how would Joel act? Would he still think he had non-stop access to her body?
Rhonda was shocked when she looked up and saw Joel carrying her breakfast tray. Oh no! Was she going to have to endure his presence while she ate her breakfast? She would rather skip the meal altogether. But Joel showed no signs of leaving any time soon.
“Rhonda, we need to talk,” Joel said.
“I don’t know anything I need to talk to you about, Joel. You have me here, under your thumb, right where you want me. What more is there to say?” she asked.
“I need to talk to you about that night, the night of the accident. I know I drove you out of this house, and I take full responsibility for that. I was angry, and you were not to blame, but I took it out on you anyway,” he said.
“Why Joel? What were you so angry about? What did I do that put you in such a mood?”
“I need you to listen to what I am about to tell you. I should have told you a long time ago, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it,” he said.
Rhonda waited, looking at him for some type of explanation.
“As I had told you earlier, before your mother met your father, she and I were involved. It will probably be hard for you to accept, but your mother enjoyed many of the same things I enjoy. She was so beautiful, and so energetic, and we both took advantage of each other. She was the first person I ever cared for before. I gave her that broach that you wore that evening, as a token of my feelings. After the miscarriage happened and we started drifting apart, she started spending more time out and away from me. She eventually told me she had met a met a man she thought she could spend the rest of her life with. That is just couldn’t be with me. That man was your father, and I never tried to stand in her way. I told her to keep the broach as a reminder of what we shared.”
Rhonda could not believe what she was hearing. He didn’t tell her about this. Someone he actually cared for ended up caring for someone else after apparently not being able to work out their issues.
“Please listen to me,” Joel said. “I never tried to interfere in your mother’s relationship with your father. I supported her, because I wanted her to be happy. I never told her that I still cared for her as much as I did, because I did not want her to feel guilty. Your mother was a good woman, and your father made a good husband for her. He knew
that she loved only him, even if he did know there was something between us earlier.”
Rhonda hated the picture Joel was painting, but somehow it made sense. Her mother had seen an entirely different side of him, and he had hid his disappointment from her all of these years. When she came down the stairs wearing the broach, Joel became angry, and she was available for him to vent his anger on. It didn’t make what he did right, but it explained a lot to her. She had been trying her best to figure out what she had done to him, and nothing made sense.
“Did you love my mother?” she asked.
“I cared deeply for her. I allowed myself to believe that we had plenty of time for falling in love, or whatever was to become of us. But she told me she loved your father, and I did not want to cause her any pain. I was a different person back then. I was not bitter like I am now. The bitterness I have brought on myself, but I have never faced up to it until the night of the accident. I allowed your mother to walk out of my life, and then you tried to do the same. When I saw that car hit you, I felt like my entire world came crashing down on top of me. I thought that I had lost you, just like I lost your mother. And that was the last thing I wanted.”
“What exactly do you want Joel? I am not my mother. There were times when you made my body feel pleasure, but it was always forced. I never had a choice. You took my innocence from me and never offered me anything in return. You made me feel like I owed you because you took me into your home,” Rhonda said.
“I know that it seemed that way to you. The truth is, I wanted you, but I didn’t think I could ever win your affection. So I forced your body to feel pleasure, hoping that you would enjoy it enough to want more. It was wrong, and if I could do things over, I would never have done those things to you. I meant it when I told you I would never force you again. And when you are well enough, if you want to walk out of this house forever, I will not try to stop you.”
“Please, will you give me some time to let this sink in? And send Anna back in here. It is time for my bath, and as much as I hate depending on somebody to bathe me, I have no choice right now.”
“I will leave you to the privacy of your bath. But I ask that you think about what I have said. Your mother chose me to be your godfather for a reason. She saw the goodness in me, and so did your father. Your parents wanted a good life for you, and they trusted me to give you that. I have failed them miserably, but I would like the opportunity to make it right.”
Chapter 15
Rhonda was naked, and Anna was bathing her body. But her mind was not on her bath. It was on Joel, and what he had told her. Anna took the washcloth and spread her legs, cleaning her privates, but Rhonda hardly noticed. Joel had been involved with her mother, but he had done the right thing and allowed her mother to marry her father. Was there some decency in him, or was he trying to replace her mother with her?
“Anna, is Joel always good to you, or does he sometimes snap?” Rhonda asked.
“Oh no, Miss Rhonda. Mr. Joel is always good to me. He never yells at me and he pays me more than most people in my position. I am very lucky to have been hired by him,” Anna said.
Rhonda was confused. Joel wanted her to forgive him, but that was not something she could immediately do. His treatment of her had been horrible, and she didn’t know if she could ever allow herself to trust him. Anna, along with the other servants, seemed to respect him for his treatment and his pay, but how could he be so good to some people, and treat her so badly? It was a question she would ask herself in the months to come.
Rehab was going well, even if it did leave Rhonda exhausted for the rest of the day. She longed for the day when she could get the cast off her arm and regain a small portion of her independence. For now she was happy to be able to get out of bed and sit in the chair. Lying in the bed all day was doing nothing to help her regain strength. Now she could take her meals sitting up, and she was getting great at beating Anna in poker. She never knew such a simple card game could be so fun. Anna always moaned and groaned, pretending to “allow” Rhonda to win, but Rhonda knew better. There were times when they got heated in their exchange, and their voices could be heard throughout the house.
Joel had started to visit Rhonda on a daily basis. He never stayed long, and he never said or did anything to make Rhonda angry. Instead, he seemed so normal. He always asked how she was feeling and if she was in any pain. She always told him no, but if she were going to be honest with herself, there was still some mental pain from the way he humiliated her on that fateful evening. Rhonda didn’t know if she would ever completely get past that. But she was starting to enjoy his visits. Seeing him as a real person was a pleasant change from the dark evil she had seen before. It was during one of these visits that Rhonda decided to ask him about her mother.
“Joel, I want you to tell me about my mother. What was she like when she was my age, and what attracted you to her?” Rhonda asked.
Joel hesitated, not sure what to say. He didn’t want to let go of this small amount of peace they had between them.
“Well, your mother was very fun and carefree. She had tons of energy, and an outgoing personality. She was also very beautiful, both inside and out. She could have had just about any man she wanted, but she wasn’t really interested in dating a lot of people. She enjoyed the time we spent together, even though we never really dated. Instead, we would often take long walks and just talk. At other times she would push the envelope and do something daring in public, all to see if she could keep from getting caught. I must admit, she was much braver than me, but I usually went along with her daring escapades, just so I could be with her,” Joel said.
Rhonda was tempted to ask Joel about those “daring escapades,” but decided better of it. Maybe one day she would ask him about them, but for now she just wanted to keep things friendly.
“I have been thinking, your birthday is coming up soon and you should have your cast off your arm by then, so how would you feel about a small party,” Joel asked.
So much had happened that Rhonda had not given her birthday a second thought.
“What do you have in mind?” Rhonda asked.
“Well, you have met the Conleys and the Wilhoits, so I thought we could have them over for a casual lunch and birthday cake. Nothing elaborate. I just thought you might welcome the distraction. By that time you should be able to ambulate around with a walker, and you could take your meal in the dining room instead of in here,” he said.
Rhonda thought back to the night she had met the Conleys and Wilhoits. It was the night when Joel abused her so badly, and she didn’t know if she wanted to see them again so soon. But seeing somebody’s face other than him and Anna was appealing. And if he had a lunch instead of a dinner, she might be okay with it.
“I think I might like that, but I hate the fact that I will still have this cast on my leg. I hate feeling so helpless.”
“Nobody cares about that. We will keep it short, since I don’t want to wear you out. Maybe we can just have burgers with all the trimmings. That would be a treat that we don’t enjoy very often,” he said.
After thinking about it, Rhonda was excited to finally have something to look forward to. Weeks in bed and depending on others was frustrating. She was feeling much better now and a little diversion would be enjoyable.
Chapter 16
The day of the party finally arrived, and Rhonda was excited to get to talk to somebody besides Joel and Anna. Her cast on her arm was gone and she was learning to maneuver her walker enough to get around the lower level of the house. Anna helped her get dressed in a fresh blouse and palazzo pants that somewhat hid her cast. She was sitting at the table with her leg propped up in a chair when the guests finally arrived.
“My dear, I heard that you had such a horrible accident. I am glad to see you up and feeling well,” Nancy said.
“Yes, it has been quite the ordeal,” Rhonda said. “But Anna has taken great care of me, and Joel has made sure that I have what I want and need. I am looki
ng forward to the day when this cast comes off my leg and I can move around without this bulky walker.”
“You should not try to rush it. From what I heard you were seriously injured and are lucky to be alive. How terrible that must have been for you,” Nancy said.
The cook arrived with a platter of hamburgers that he cooked on the charcoal grill. He placed the aromatic platter in the middle of the table, alongside the potato salad and baked beans. This was indeed going to be a treat. Rhonda could not remember the last time she had enjoyed grilled hamburgers, and these smelled delicious.
Throughout the meal Linda chatted as usual about her twins, and Joel was attentive to Rhonda, making sure she had what she wanted. By the time it was time to cut the cake, Rhonda was feeling stuffed. This was more than she was used to eating lately, but the food tasted so good she did not want to stop. She was glad that her birthday celebration turned out this way. For the first time since moving into this house, she had enjoyed herself.
Soon all of the guests were gone, and Rhonda made her way back to the sitting room. She had enjoyed the company, but she was also glad when they left. She was tired and needed to rest. Using the walker allowed her the freedom to move about, but it also zapped her energy, something she was short of these days.
Joel waited patiently while Rhonda took a nap. He knew the party had tired her out, but she was making great progress. He sat quietly in the chair and watched her sleep. She had been less argumentative with him since he had come clean with her about the broach and his relationship with her mother. There were times when she was ill at her situation, but those times were different from before when she appeared to hate him.
When Rhonda awoke, she spotted Joel sitting in the chair. She actually thought she detected a smile on his face when she met his eyes.
“I am glad you are awake. I hope you enjoyed your party,” he said.
“I did. Thank you for thinking of it. The food was great and I think that Nancy and I could probably become really good friends one day.”
