I feel touched that Calvin wants to protect me. I love that I can trust him with my life. I adore that he doesn’t want me to come to any harm and I wish with all I have that all this shit would go away. That all this shit would leave us be so we could live happily. But really, this shit, is just the beginning.
“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know she was going to call here. But with her coming here like that, put yours and her relationship into perceptive for me.”
“There was no relationship.” He says tightly.
I shift to wrap my arms around his neck, his lips are set in straight line. “You had a friendship, bound by the pain you both felt, I get it. She fell in love with you, and who wouldn’t? She loved you and you didn’t love her. You cared for her and that’s it. I get that. You cared because that’s who you are Calvin. You the most caring, kind, generous man that I know. I hate that things are coming out of the wood work about Mauricio, and there must be so many more lives he’s ruined. I understand your urgency to break him down, I really do. I’m slowly realizing to a degree what that disgusting excuse for a man is capable of.” He rests his forehead against mine briefly closing his eyes. “Calvin, we need to go. I need to get my mom out of there. I can’t think about this anymore. We need to go now. She’s my only concern.”
“Then let’s go.”
Chapter Eighteen*
I stare into oblivion while Calvin drives me home. I’m so nervous. I don’t have a clue how they will react. I don’t have a clue how I will react. I’m going to be face to face with a man I called father yet now, he’s not a father. He’s a killer. He’s less than nothing to me.
I keep going around in my head in a slow mantra, should I just come out with it? Or shall I keep it quiet and just leave by myself? But I refuse to let my mom and Sophia live in a home with a monster. I keep going over in my mind of how the conversation might pan out when I get there.
"Calvin, you didn’t think I knew did you? I mean, at first? Did you think I knew what Mauricio was capable of?"
He squeeze’s my leg with his free hand trying to reassure me. “Of course not. I knew he wouldn’t have had any kind of family if they knew what his other life consisted of. I knew he was a man who kept his dark private life separate and sacred."
"Do you think my mom knows?" I ask hoping for a positive answer.
He hesitates before answering while I watch him. "No and you can’t tell her either. We have to get her out of there first."
Is he serious? “Why?”
“If you tell her and she didn’t know, her world would have just been ripped apart. She isn’t going to take it lightly. I’m scared for her...” he pauses before finishing.
“Scared of what? What he’ll do?” I finish his sentence for him. I think I am too.
He nods slowly but surely agreeing.
“He wouldn’t hurt my mom. I’m sure of that.”
But am I? What am I even saying? I’m not sure of anything anymore where Mauricio’s concerned.
I wait for a moment to say what I’ve been dreading, but I want him safe.
I count to ten in my head before I come out with it. "I don’t want you to be around Calvin, when I go in. It will be easier for me to do it alone."
Just as I thought. He doesn’t take it well.
“Not going to happen. End of story.” He doesn’t leave room for discussion.
"Calvin, please." I beg him.
"No Olivia. I don’t want him anywhere near you and with me there, he won’t touch you."
"He won’t hurt me. I’ll be careful. Please do this for me. I can handle it, it’ll be so much worse if your there. ”
I know he’s furious with me for asking this of him but I need him safe. Mauricio said he’d kill him next time and I can’t take that risk.
“Fuck. Please don’t ask this of me.” He pleads.
I stay silent, peering across at him, begging him with my eyes. He mumbles his agreement without arguing further.
"Thank you." I lean over to kiss his cheek. I almost smirk at his sulkiness.
As my street becomes in view my heart starts pounding.
Calvin pulls over.
"I’ll wait here. I’m not going any further away and if you don’t come back out in ten minutes, I’m coming in after you."
I sigh letting him have this. “I’ll be fine. I won’t be long. I promise.” I’m not convincing myself either.
"You’ll call me if anything happens? I’ll be straight there."
I lean over to kiss him again. “I’ll be fine. I love you.”
He pulls on my arms before I climb out. “I love you too.”
I head up my driveway more slowly then I imagined I would. Yesterday I was so angry, I could have killed Mauricio. Now. I’m scared. Full of hate, but scared.
As soon as I walk through my front door I spot my mother who’s looking like she’s died a thousand deaths. She flies at me with Sophia in tow.
"Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call you all night and it’s been switched off, look at the mess you’re in. Have you been sleeping rough?" I frown at her accusations. Sleeping rough? Do I look that bad?
"Where have you been?" she repeats shrieking at me. She’s still in nightclothes. Her hair looks like it hasn’t been brushed and she’s makeup free with panda eyes. She’s been crying, but I don’t have time to talk. I just need to get her out of here, right now.
"Mom, my battery died, I’m fine. I’ll explain as soon as we get out of here, get your stuff."
I’m about to pull her upstairs to pack with me but she pulls me back by my elbow looking flabbergasted.
"What do you mean? Get out of here? Where do you think you’re going, Olivia? I’ve been going out of my damned mind all night. Worried sick. And your turn up like this?"
"Mom, I’ll explain on the way, we’re leaving, right now. I can’t stay here a minute longer. Come on. Please. We need to go. You too Sophia."
I force her upstairs but it’s not without a fight. She’s trying to pull me off her but I won’t budge. I hold on tightly to her hand and tug her up the stairs. Sophia follows behind.
“Olivia, this is insane. Have you taken anything? You’re acting crazy.”
I ignore her pulling her anyway into my room.
I reach under my bed for my suitcase and start packing essentials and some clothes. I’m sure I can buy new stuff. I really don’t want stay here necessarily longer than I have to. It’s no longer my home. I don’t feel safe here. I’m not safe here. Everything reminds me of that monster.
My mom and Sophia stand in my doorway bewildered at my actions.
"Come on mom, Sophia. Pack your stuff, what are you waiting for?” I throw my hands up in the air, demanding that they move.
My mom speaks in a high, non-tolerance tone. "Olivia, your being absurd. Will you tell me what the hell you think you’re doing?"
Sophia looks on confused with a hint of sadness in her eyes, while my mom shouts. She knows me to well. She knows I haven’t taken any thing and what would seem irrational behavior to my mom, has a meaning to Sophia.
"Mom, I haven’t taken anything, stop looking at me like that. All you need to know is that we can’t stay here anymore. Calvin and I...”
She throws her hands up in the air and sighs dramatically as soon as I mention his name.
"I should have known it would have something to do with that boy! Don’t tell me you’re back together, didn’t your father see to him last night? Is this what it’s about? This is where you have been?"
So she knew Mauricio got him beat up?
"You knew what he set out to do?” I’m disgusted.
My mom winces a little then straightens out her back. “Yes. It was only what he deserved. Your father was protecting you, Olivia.”
She's insane. “What Mauricio did to him was barbaric mom. I can’t believe you knew about it. Anyway, forget that now, Calvin had the better of him. We need to go mom. Please, for me, just do this one thi
ng. I will explain as soon as we're out of this house.”
"If you think for one minute you’re going anywhere with that boy! You got another thing coming. Don’t you remember what he put you through? All those months of torture? And now you want to leave with him?”
She races over to me frantically and starts unpacking what I’ve just packed. I snatch everything back out of her hands as quick as she’s taking them.
"You’re not going anywhere with him!" She yells
"Mom, stop, just stop. This isn’t about Calvin." I try to stop her being erratic, but she doesn’t listen. We fight and tug over my clothes, while Sophia starts yelling at as both.
"The pair of you cut it out, just stop."
It’s not Sophia’s voice that slows me down, it's a voice that sends shivers down my spine. Making the hairs on my nape stand up on end.
"What the fuck is going on in here?" All eyes dart to Mauricio who is stood in the arch way.
I pale as soon as I see him. I actually feel the blood drain from my face.
I stare at the stone expression he’s wearing, feeling nothing but hatred and resist the urge to lash out at him. I want nothing more than to hurt him. Punch him. Scream at him. But I can’t move. Standing in front of him, knowing what he’s done, is ten times worse than I would have imagined it to be.
The cold blooded murderer that he is thinks he can come into my room giving orders? Not no more. Not this time. I resist the yearning with everything I have to blurt it all out. Instead I grab my stuff of my mother who’s too occupied in looking at Mauricio for help and finally slam my case shut.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?" He sneers, his gaze lowers to my suitcase then back up to me.
“Away from you, far away, and I’m taking my mom and Sophia with me,”
Sophia looks at me stunned. “Yes Sophia, come with us you don’t have to stay here.”
Sophia exhales with compassion. “Olivia, are you well?” She asks gently. What the fuck is she going on about? Am I well?
“You’re not thinking straight Livs. Calvin’s got into your head again, let’s talk about this.”
I notice Mauricio burn with rage at the mention of Calvin’s name.
“What has that man got to do with all this? Didn’t I tell you to stay away from him?”
I look at Sophia, my eyes pleading with her not to say anything but she completely disregards my plea.
“It seems Olivia is back with that jerk.”
I close my eyes feeling emotionally betrayed.
"You can’t be fucking serious? What did I warn you about him? Wasn’t I clear enough for you? You was not to go near him again. I protected you Olivia. From him! And you stand here packing your things? You’re going to run away with him?” He roars at me, but I won’t be put down by him. I’m not listening to anything he has to say. His words are me are less than trivial.
I stand away from my bed to get closer to Mauricio, but not to close. Just close enough for him to hear me.
“And why is that Mauricio? Because he broke your step daughter’s heart?" I scoff, looking at my mom and Sophia who are shell shocked and remotely oblivious.
“Is that what Mauricio told you he did it for? Don’t make me laugh. Shall I tell everyone why you wanted me away from him so much? Why you beat him? And why you threatened to kill him if he came near me again?”
He shifts from side to side. His eyes burning into mine, a little confused but he hides it well. He doesn’t know I know, but I can see his mind racing. He knows I know… something.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about you stupid girl. I was protecting you from harm no other reason behind it.”
“Really?” my voice is laced with accusation. “It’s not because you think he was causing a threat to you? Because you think he’s behind all the issues that are driving you insane?”
My mom looks from me to Mauricio in puzzlement. “What is she talking about Mercy?”
He shrugs nonchalantly, but he’s not fooling me. “I don’t know, she’s lost it.”
“You’re a fucking liar.” I scream not being able to help myself. As soon as the words come out of my mouth the most painful smack hits me across my face, forcing my body to turn, sending me flat out onto my bedroom floor. My ears start ringing for the impact and my mom’s bellowing screams follow.
“Olivia! What the fuck are you doing Mercy?”
I blink up at my mom dazed, trying to regain focus from the little white spots that are blurring my vision. My mom holds me by my face, checking me over, crying hysterically.
“She deserved it, you heard the way she spoke to me. See, I told you didn’t I? Every time she’s around that Blake boy she’s someone we don’t know. It’s for her own good Veronica.”
My mom whimpers next to me making a fuss to see if I’m Okay, smoothing my cheek.
“Olivia?”
“I’m fine.” I snap, pushing back up to my feet. I smack my mom’s hand away, not intending for it to be harsh but if this doesn’t open her eyes to show what he’s really like, I don’t know what will.
“Now do you see mom? Now do you see what an evil twisted man he is? This is not this first time he’s hurt me.”
Sophia gasps slightly from behind me. She looks hurt by what she’s just saw but doesn’t make any attempt to help me, no attempt to support me.
My mom doesn’t stop crying, but what she says next knocks me for six.
“Why are you doing this, Olivia? If you didn’t act this way, this wouldn’t happen.”
My face snaps up in her direction. She can’t take his side. She’s just witnessed him strike me and she’s still saying it’s my behavior that leads to this.
I shake my head refusing to listen to her pitiful excuses and walk over to her grabbing her by the shoulders. Trying to shake her into sense. “No, mom, listen to me, he’s not the man you think he is. Please. Believe me.”
“Olivia, I...” she stutters, her eyes are full with pity as she looks from me to Mauricio at a loss, but then stays silent.
I let my hands drop from her shoulders feeling defeated as I search her eyes with mine. I inhale trembling, and close my eyes. She doesn’t believe me, this women isn’t my mother. She would never act this way, but I can’t leave my mom here with a murderer. I’m not sure what he will do if he knows I know. If he knows that I am completely aware of what he’s capable of. He wouldn’t want this getting out to the family. I don’t think he would let me leave alive if I blurted it out right now, just to get my mom to leave with me. But what can I do to change her mind? I can’t take that risk of telling her now, in front of him and really, has she just chose him over me?
I look at my mom who is shaking in fear; what is she sacred of? I can tell she wants to say something but for some inexplicable reason she chooses to hold back. The blame point’s to Mauricio. Veronica Fahoney is fearless, independent and completely in control. I don’t know where she’s gone.
Tears softly fall from both our eyes. We stand watching each other, while I wonder what the hell has gone wrong. I plead with her one last time. “Please mom, please come with me. We don’t belong here, not no more. I can’t stay here with him. If you think Mauricio hit me because of my behavior then I can live with that. But what I can’t live with is allowing you to stay here with him.” I wait in anxious anticipation for her answer.
She doesn’t answer me.
Why do I have this sickening feeling she’s not going to come with me? What is wrong with her?
Tears fall harder down my cheeks. "Please." I beg her once more, its barley a whisper.
She walks towards me, her palm cups my chin delicately. "I don’t understand it Olivia. If you’d just listened, none of this would have happened. Your dad shouldn’t have hit you like that your right, but you never used to speak to us this way. Maybe it’s best you stay away from that boy, when we all move away we’ll start again, start fresh. I can’t help you when you won’t tell me why you want to leave
. Why can’t you stay here?”
I groan out of frustration and move my head out of her grasp. Does she really think we can be happy family again? Move away and everything will be alright?
I will not be made to feel like this is all my fault. Not again. But if she doesn’t come with me, will I ever see her again? I couldn’t live with myself, leaving her here with him. Has Mauricio got a hold on her that tightly?
"Mom, I’ve done nothing wrong but fall in love with someone that he hates. Have you ever asked yourself why he hates him so much? Why he wants him out of the way? Why he’s turned everyone in this family against Calvin to think the same as him? And before you say it’s because he broke my heart, he never gave Calvin a chance from the off, neither of you did.”
She shakes her head pursing her lips, trying a softer approach, but before she speaks she always glances over to Mauricio. “Darling, he’s bad news that’s all, we could see that from day one. We were looking out for you, why can’t you see that?”
Mauricio looks on warily. I no he can’t really hear what we’re saying and its killing him. I can sense him boiling up by the second but he’s keeping it together for my mom and Sophia’s sake. The way he’s looking at me though, full of resentment, hasn’t gone unnoticed. I can feel his eyes denting the back of my head.
“You’re not going to come with me are you?” I whisper.
She shakes her head taking mine between her palms and tries to make a stand. “We’re not going anywhere, Olivia. This is ridiculous, just because we don’t like your boyfriend you want to run away? It’s absurd, give it a few days everything will settle down. You’re hurt, and confused. You know what, we’ll take a vacation, clear your mind. And when we come back, we can all go back to normal. How does that sound?”
“No!" I shriek, pulling myself out of her hands. “What is wrong with you mom? What happened to us being a team? Where has Veronica Fahoney gone? Has Mauricio got inside your head that much, that you would turn against your own daughter?”
She looks at him quickly then back to me. Is she actually looking for permission to speak?
Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) Page 18
