“I’m not sulking.” I sulk, pushing his hands away from my head.
Calvin smirks and bends down to kiss me. We get a few honks from cars but I blissfully ignore them.
“Now will you get back in the car and do as you’re told.”
I raise my eyebrow at Calvin’s assertiveness. “Bossy aren’t you.”
“You better believe it.” He winks playfully smacking my backside. This matter still isn’t finished with. He always fogs my mind with a touch of his lips but I still have this matter in the back of my memory and I will hold him to it.
We’ve been driving for around four hours. Calvin has disposed of his cell. I have no idea where we are and I’m so tired. “You wanna bed down for the night?” Calvin asks me rubbing my knee with his free hand. He never let's go.
“Sure.” I yawn loudly.
“There’s a place a couple more miles up the road. It won’t be nice but it’s a bed and it’s where I told Ashton we'd be.”
“I don’t care where Calvin, you need to sleep too.”
We pull up outside a rundown looking motel. There is only two cars in the parking lot and I can already see why.
We get inside and see a middle age bold man behind a brown warn out desk. He doesn’t look up when we arrive. He’s too engross in playing candy crush. Calvin clears his throat loudly making the man suddenly flick up his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. Level seventy five. Hard one.”
I look over to Calvin who’s smirking the same as me.
“You want a room?”
Calvin answers a little humorous. “That’s the idea.”
The bold man’s cheeks turn bright red and he smiles weakly at me. He nods and turns his back to reach for a key. “Number thirteen is available. It’s just outside, third door. One night only or?”
“I hope it’s only for one night.” Calvin scoffs.
The man’s bushy brow rises suggestively, as he twirls his tongue in his cheek. “Oh, I get it. Late night pit stop.” He then wolf whistles making me giggle childishly. I look over to Calvin who is not amused. He swipes the key out of his hand and throws down some cash.
“Thank you.” I tell him on an appreciative smile while Calvin marches me out.
“I felt quite sorry for him.” I smirk.
“Olivia, you feel sorry for everyone.”
***
“It’s disgusting.” I complain as I take in my surrounding's. The room is dark and dingy and the smell resembles sewage. The dusty brown curtains have slits in them which to me, look like peep holes. There isn’t a separate living space to the bedroom either, everything is in the same room. There is a brown two seated couch which has seen better days, an armchair, and an old box TV and a bed. My shoes are sticking to the blue tiled floor as I walk squelching and the yellow wallpaper on the walls is peeling away at the edges.
My eyes stare at the bed wide and horrified. It’s a double with a brown itchy look blanket.
“I did tell you this,” Calvin chuckles at my reactions, taking off his knitted jumper leaving him in his loose t-shirt. He sighs wrapping me up in his arms. “You want to go? Keep driving until we find some place better?”
“No, I don’t want you driving any longer. Here will be fine, plus, you said Ashton was meeting us here.” I’m regrettably grumpy. I know he’s doing his best for me and I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I think to myself, its only one night and we need the rest. I can do this.
“Another reason this place is perfect, is because they won’t think to look here.” He shrugs almost amused but apologetic.
I take a seat on the end of the bed next to Calvin. “Why are we running?”
He turns to face me taking hold of my hand that’s in my lap. “Olivia, what else do you suppose I do? You know, if it wasn’t for you I would go to Mauricio and save him the fucking trouble in trying to find us. I’d kill the mother fucker myself.” That’s what I was afraid of hearing. “I want to keep you safe, and if it means taking you away. Then that's what I’ll do.”
“Why he is trying to find us?”
“The only reason he is trying to track us down is to kill me and Ashton. Why else.” He says it so calmly like he isn’t bothered in the slightest.
“Kill you?” I feel sick saying the words. I whisper them trying to ignore the cramp in my stomach.
“Yes. He probably would have worked out what we have on him by now. And he won’t let it lie. That’s not the man he is.” He kisses my cheek and along my jaw. Trying to distract me from the conversation.
I tilt my head to the side, unwillingly away from his mouth to focus. He is so unruffled by this and I have no idea how because I am secretly petrified for him. For us. “So what? We run for the rest of our lives?” We can’t do that.
“No. We’ll work something out. I just need time.” He pulls my chin to face him with his index finger and slides my hair behind my ear, then strokes my ear lobe as he does. It sends shivers down my spine but I’m not done talking. I hate that this seems to be for me. That we are running to protect me.
“If you didn’t come back for me, you could have carried on. You would have killed him by now and got on with your life.”
“Don’t say that!” He scolds me taking his hand away from me and bows his head down, looking between his parted legs. I shift to face him.
“It’s true. I’m in your way. I should just leave. Let you and Ashton carry on.”
I don’t want them to, I don’t want them to stoop to Mauricio’s level but at the same time I can’t endure the thought of Ashton and Calvin letting him get away with what he has, just because of me? This is the man that killed their parents. They will not let this go, and with me out of the way, it will be easier. Wont it?
Calvin jumps up of the bed in anguish and glares down at me. “Stop thinking all these stupid things!”
“Why? If I left wouldn’t it be better for you? I was just part of your plan wasn’t I? I don’t see how you can stop wanting to get revenge just because of me.”
He closes his eyes briefly like the thought of me leaving him destroys him. It destroys me.
“Don't say that,”
“I'm just thinking if...”
“Well don't,” he disputes, “You’re not ever leaving me Olivia. Don’t you get it? You are my life now. I have never had a real purpose for life. I gone through life acting without a care in the world because it’s just that, I had no care in the world. I had no one to care for. Sure I have Ashton, my grandparents, but what else did I have? I lived for either blocking out my parent’s murder or trying to seek revenge for them. What life is that? Drinking, playing poker, getting in to fights? Trying to get information on my parents. That was my life. Every fucking day. You think I liked living like that? When you came into my life something changed. Yes you were part of my chance to break him down from the start, but there was that something else. I didn’t take you to meet my grandparents as part of the plan. I didn’t invite you to Vegas as part of the plan, and I didn’t give you that necklace for nothing either,”
I stare melancholy at the necklace I have taken into my fingers. I have never taken it off. I feel the wetness stab at the corner of my eyes. “I gave you my heart Olivia without actually telling you that I loved you. I just couldn’t admit it to myself. I wanted to spend time with you, I wanted to be with you. I loved your company, your sass, your beauty and your heart. When you said to me; did I sleep with you just for the fun of it, it killed me. I would never do that to you. I slept with you because I couldn’t keep my eyes or hands off you. I wanted to love you and that wasn’t put on. I missed you every fucking day you were gone, it ripped me apart hurting you like I did. So please, please don’t ever leave me now. I need you more than you will ever know and I know you might not forget the pain I put you through, but I want to replace them memories and your doubts with love.” He wraps me into his arms, breathing out all the angst he seemed to have felt. Hearing all those things melt my heart. He needs me. I see it now. I get it. We need
each other, but how can he let him get away with this?
“But what about Mauricio, you’re going to let him get away with it?”
“Olivia, what else can I do? Killing him was my purpose. But now, protecting you, loving you is what I want more. To make sure your safe and by my side. For the rest of our lives. I love you, and I will never stop loving you. Knowing that you lived with a man that killed my parents will never play on my mind, because you don’t have him in you. He was just some man your mom married and you didn’t have a clue. Stop blaming yourself. Our relationship is a positive thing don’t turn it into a negative. I do believe, in some way, fate brought us together, and now you’re my delicate rose. You always have been.” I grimace inwardly but stay silent to what he called me, as my mom used to call me the same. Instead I embrace the warmth of his arms around me. The protection and love. When Calvin has me in his clasp, it sends my senses delirious. Feeling his pain. I instantly regret what I said.
“I won’t leave you, I’m sorry. I love you. I love you so much.”
He pushes me down on to bed and avidly seeks my mouth with his. His lips clamp onto mine urgently like he’s been waiting to taste me for so long. I slip my fingers through his hair as he devours my mouth, not coming up for air. I moan against his lips while his tongue circles quick pleasurable waves with mine, swirling wildly with full on lust and adoration.
I reach down, letting my hands go from his hair to undo his jeans. With my feet I slide them over his perfect firm backside, leaving him in his white boxers and t-shirt. He’s only showing bare leg flesh and it’s already sent me spiraling. He pushes himself against me allowing me to feel every hard inch of him. This is what I ache for.
I pull his t-shirt greedily over his head needing more of him. It’s the only time our lips leave each other’s. His eyes blaze with fierce desire as I dispose of his t-shirt, then brush my fingertips over his naked, defined torso. Wanting the feeling of his familiar unforgettable chiseled abs under my palms. The muscles flexing in back, his strong firm arms, everything Calvin.
“I think your overdressed, baby.” His breath tickles at my ear as he takes my lobe between his teeth then sucks the flesh. I writhe underneath him slightly as it’s a sensitive spot for me.
“I think so too.” I breathe in anticipation. I need this from him, even with everything going on around us, I need this time to just be me and him. It’s well overdue. Five months overdue.
He slowly pulls my t-shirt over my head keeping his eyes attached to me the entire time. I lay beneath him in just my bra and panties and wait, admiring him from below in my panting, wet state.
“Always, so beautiful.” He coaxes and dips his head to take my mouth again, kissing me almost vehemently, bruising my lips. He doesn’t leave an inch of me un-felt, un-kissed or unappreciated. My porcelain skin has been covered with the familiar goose bumps that I gain every time this man is near me.
Bringing me up a little he unclasps my bra, then discards of it onto the floor. I quickly dismiss the displeasing thought of my bra being on the squelchy tiles.
Calvin sits back onto his heels to look at me closely and take me in. I don’t flinch, or feel embarrassed while his eyes ravenously roam from my eyes, down to my tender breasts, over my stomach and down to my parted thighs and he sits between them. I feel confident because I’m all of his now, and he loves me. All of me.
He briefly closes his eyes when they have covered every inch of my body and produces a low pleasing rumble that vibrates through every sensitive part of my body. “Beautiful. Only one thing left,” he grins pulling at the side of my panties. He pulls them down, sliding the silk material ever so gently over my trembling parted thighs, past my ankles, and slips them off, leaving me exposed and ready for him. I resist the urge to lift towards him, craving him, but I don’t have to wait long. Bowing his head back down, his lips aim for the crook of my neck. He sucks and molds his lips on to my skin. His wet licks almost torturously sweet. He repeats the same process trailing down onto my breasts causing me to moan, curving my back into his dexterous lips and hands as I tug at his hair. I rub my pelvis up against his, impatiently trying to find friction from his hardness. My breathing becomes shallow, my pulse racing. My body is flushed, aroused and craving him. He groans his appreciation to my reaction. His lips skimming down my body almost feather-like as his head travels down south. My legs readily fall aside, spreading open for him. He ever so gently brushes his fingertips across my inner thighs following the trail with the sultriness of his lips until he meets my entrance. My legs tremble around his sharp, solid shoulder blades while he indulges in me. His burning trace of tantalizing seduction sends me into a state of delirium. I lap up his is lazily erotic act, gripping onto the bed sheets beside me, tightening my legs around his temples. His fingers dig into the side of my thighs while he applies more pressure deep within me with the tip of his tongue. My head tips back as I let out moans of delight. He teases me, allowing my dynamism levels to rise and fall but I’m ultimately building. Calvin sends me to a place some people only dream of.
His lips move to the center of my core as he continues to work me with his exquisite skillful mouth. My back arches involuntary as a high pitched moan escapes. He pleases me with the circular motions of his tongue, stabbing at the continual pulsing between my thighs. My eyes tighten together as I let out sharp cries of pleasure while Calvin's delicately controlled licks send me to ecstasy, undoing me. I shatter around him. My body surrenders to him as I find tranquility.
I vaguely hear Calvin's low ragged breathing as his forehead meets mine. “Hmm. Now I can make love to you the in the right way.” He whisper's sweetly, lifting my arms above my head. He encloses my hands with his palms while his ice blue mesmerizing glance is fixed to my green lustful stare and our eyes lock. He deliciously and with care, eases into me causing me to whimper beneath him. I hear his sharp gasp as he fills me. All of me. I clamp my fingers through his grasp that are secured above my head. The tip of his nose slides against mine while he stays incredibly close, pulling out, and pushing in at a dreamy unhurried pace. He's worshiping me with his body. His love.
The tenderness of his gentle thrusts capture me and seal me within a bubble of undying love. The passion and devotion his blesses me with while making love to me blows my mind. Gliding in, then back out with matchless, definitive strokes.
We maintain eye contact throughout, clinging onto the intense intimacy we behold. Clenching around each other’s hands, while our hips grind. “I love you.” He whispers on a strained breath, breaking our silence. The silence that has only been filled with our harsh breaths and low moans of pleasure.
With one more passionate thrust he exhales sharply. I know why. His fingers tighten through mine while the air hisses between his teeth. My legs tighten around his waist, the muscles in my stomach clench as I feel my body riding the outbreak of frenzied pulsations. I cry out his name at the same time I feel his sensual essence filling me. Now it’s his turn to spiral into that intoxicating depth. The jubilant depth I have ventured into many times.
He collapses on top of me, trying to hold his weight on a propped up elbow, then smothers my face with wet tender breathless kisses. I marvel in the gesture as I try to regain some air.
My body is in a limp, lax and panting state.
“That was even better than the first time.” My voice is lazy. I'm spent but I had to put that out there. Calvin is still on top of me so he nuzzles into my neck with a smirk.
“My goal is to please you, baby.”
“Oh, so now I'm a new goal of yours?” I remember the bath tub talk in Vegas when he was telling me he had goals to hit but wouldn’t entirely tell me what they were.
This time, he leans up on his hand to look down at me and traces his finger down the ridge of my nose. “You were always my goal.”
I could take that the wrong way, but I don’t. I dare not to spoil our loving embrace.
“Well, then you’ve hit that one.” I smile sweet
and innocent.
“I hit more than one.” He smirks studying me proactively. I swat him playfully in shoulder.
“So, I didn’t imagine it that night, you did make love to me?” I know my voice sounds hopeful.
He sighs almost painfully. “Yes.”
I frown at his odd reaction. “Why is that a painful thing to remember?”
He suddenly climbs off me to roll onto the side of the bed. Propped up by his elbow again, he rests the side of his head against his palm and begins to stroke my stomach as he talks. He watches his fingers circle my skin. “It’s not. What happened after is the painful one.”
I watch his downhearted eyes while his finger's draw mindless pictures on my stomach, feeling dejected. “You know, you should forget that now. I'm here aren’t I?”
A deep frown line crosses his forehead but he doesn’t look at me. “It’s not that easy to forget Olivia. I was cruel. You told me you loved me and I went cold. I wanted more than anything to tell you how I felt. But I didn’t. I chose the wrong path to walk down and hurt you. And I meant what I said, I will prove myself to you every single day until I have your forgiveness.”
I bring my hand up to caress his designer stubble cheek and make him face me, and he does after a prolonged sigh. “I do forgive you Calvin. You don’t have to prove yourself to me.”
He closes his eyes in angst. “You haven’t forgave me, I can see it in your eyes. I hurt you in an unforgivable way. You are the only women I have ever loved and I fucked it up. Until the day your emerald green eyes come back to me, I know I will never have the whole of you. I only have your half and that’s plenty more than I deserve.”
He rest's his head onto the pillow and pulls me into him. He has ended the conversation and I suspect it’s because he feels he doesn’t deserve an explanation from me. I don’t give him one. I drop into deep thought about what he’s just said. I have forgave him. Or is it my mind that has forgave him but my heart is unforgiving. I don’t know maybe it’s forgivable but not forgettable?
Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) Page 23
