“I let my guard down with you. I trusted you.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Lexi stepped a little closer.
The movement made Helen look up. She didn’t like being on guard around this woman. They had been intimate on so many occasions, it didn’t feel right. Seeing Lexi up close, she could see she’d changed her hair: it was shorter and dyed raven-black. She was back to being Lexi, at least according to her arrest record from when she was a teenager.
Apparently, young Lexi had gone off the tracks a little in her youth. Computer fraud wasn’t the crime of choice for most kids in the nineties, but it seemed that Lexi knew computers inside and out. Her file had Lexi labelled as a reasonably high-profile hacker at one point.
In the short time Helen had known her, she had grown to care for this woman, maybe more than she wanted to admit to her face. Helped by the support Lexi had shown over Julia, it was obvious that Lexi cared for her too. It was hard for her to comprehend how that person could be responsible for two deaths.
Lexi stopped in her tracks, probably at the grim look on Helen’s face. “What happened between us was real.”
“Bullshit. I don’t even know you, Lexi. I knew Kate. I—I cared about Kate.”
Lexi shook her head. “I know you think that, and I get it. I do. But nothing between us was a lie. When I touched you, Helen, that was real. When you touched me, that was real too. Every time I made you laugh, when I drove you crazy, or let you trap me in the car and let you beat me to lunch. That was all real.” She stepped closer, then stopped again. “I love you, Helen. That’s real. I didn’t intend to hurt you or for any of this to happen. When I found Kate and discovered she was a police officer, I couldn’t see another way out without creating a major investigation.”
Helen nodded. “We’re pretty strict about our fellow officers being killed.”
“I know. It was meant to be so simple.” Lexi blew out a frustrated breath. “Just ride out the six months up here, then disappear on my way back to London, no one any the wiser.” She smiled sadly. “But then I met you.” Lexi made a move to touch Helen’s arm, then looked back up into Helen’s eyes, “I fell in love with you. The last thing I wanted was to implicate you in my mess.”
Helen tried to shrug off Lexi’s words. She didn’t need Lexi trying to ingratiate herself, or to rekindle what they had. Wasn’t she just trying to save her own skin? An unwelcome thought occurred to her: was Lexi here to tie up loose ends? Helen was the only one who knew the truth. Knowing she wouldn’t let any discrepancies fall through the net, maybe the letter was just to keep her quiet till Lexi could finish her off.
Lexi’s voice broke through her train of thought. “I’ve got the missing footage from Jarvis’s house. I wanted you to have it.”
Helen frowned, her suspicions awakened. Why would she give it to me? Has she doctored it using her infamous IT skills, like the Curtis Whiting image? Helen balked. Except she hadn’t doctored that CCTV picture. Lexi had actually put her skills to good use. Curtis was guilty, and he fully admitted it. Lexi had been the facilitator to close the case and not just that one. Sandy’s case too.
“Here.” Lexi held out the memory stick for Helen to take. “I only found out about the CCTV inside the house when I went to put something back after…” Lexi trailed off again. “He slipped and fell, hit his head on the steps in his kitchen. I didn’t touch him, I promise you. Please take it.”
Helen reluctantly took the offered stick.
“I need you to know I didn’t kill him. It was an accident. I told him who I was, and he went mental.”
“He knew you?” Helen queried.
“My name, yes.”
A frown crossed Helen’s brow. Why would Jarvis know the name Lexi Ryan? Unless he had good reason to remember it; her detective brain was just getting into gear. She needed to know the sequence of events to somehow justify Lexi’s actions. “Tell me about Kate Wolfe.”
Lexi swallowed hard. “I had nothing to do with Kate Wolfe’s death. I just found her body. I honestly think Malcolm Walters did it, after he ran over Sandy; he said he went out drinking, remember?”
Helen nodded.
“On his way back home, he said he thought he’d hit an animal with his car. She was out in the middle of nowhere, jogging, dressed in black. I don’t think he knew what he’d done.”
Helen recalled Waters’s words during his interview. He thought he had hit a deer, even felt bad about it. “You saw it. Why didn’t you call for help?”
Lexi shook her head. “I heard it. His taxi radio whistling in the background. He got out of the car, but I don’t think he even saw her. When I got to her, she was already dead.”
Helen frowned. “Whistle? Is that why you looked at Kirk’s car?”
Lexi nodded.
“Where did it happen?” Helen questioned.
“On the road to the quarry.”
“When you were dumping Jarvis’s car,” Helen clarified, piecing it together.
Lexi nodded her confirmation.
“You hotwired his car?” Helen asked, curiosity getting the better of her.
“No. I had his keys. I pulled off the casing just to make it look like it.”
“You knew about the power cuts?” Helen queried.
Lexi nodded. “I didn’t know what else to do with her body. A neighbour told me about the power cuts, even brought me around some candles one night. I thought it would be a way out of it all.” Lexi looked down, avoiding Helen’s gaze. “Not that I really wanted a way out. I knew it would be the end of us, and I didn’t want that. I never wanted that, despite what you must think of me right now. But I was out of time. Kate’s mum was threatening to visit. I couldn’t put her off anymore.”
“And now what? You’re running away from it all?”
Helen’s words were cutting.
“I’m going away because I have to, not because I want to.” Lexi pulled a slip of paper from her pocket. “I’ll be at this place two months from today.” She held out the paper for Helen. “I meant what I said earlier. About being in love with you. I know you might never be able to forgive me for what I’ve done. And I wouldn’t blame you if that was the case. I truly wouldn’t. But…” She took a deep breath. “But if there’s any way you could forgive me…maybe give me another chance. A chance to prove myself to you. To show you that it was really Lexi all along that you were with…well, I’d really like that.”
“I—” Helen was about to give Lexi her answer now, save her wasting her time.
Lexi cut her off. “I’ll be there at 1p.m. if you want to meet.”
Helen made no move to take the piece of paper. Could she really have any kind of relationship with this woman? Memories of Kate flashed through her mind. She had been difficult from the start. Even so, it hadn’t prevented Helen’s attraction to her. Then she got to know Kate. They worked well together. She’d even stepped in, preventing Helen from getting hurt at a cost to herself. Then there was the filming of the house fire to collect evidence. Why would she do all that? Was she just playing a part? Who was the real Lexi?
Lexi moved towards her, pushing the slip of paper in her hand before clasping her own hand around Helen’s. Leaning forward, Lexi brushed her lips along the side of Helen’s face.
“Was it worth it?” Helen asked as Lexi turned to leave.
Lexi stood facing the door, as the question hung between them. “No. I always end up losing someone. First my sister, then my mother, and now you. I just wanted him to admit what he’d done to Leah. Now I’m not sure any of it was worth it.”
Helen nodded, fighting off her feelings of sorrow for Lexi and her shattered family.
Lexi closed the door quietly behind her.
Chapter 24
Helen said her goodbyes to the small group of stragglers that remained at Julia’s wake. Due to the long drive from Warner and Julia
’s home town of Ledbury, many of the attenders had already left. It had been Julia’s wish to be buried next to her sister Ellen in Burniston, just outside Scarborough, which meant Helen now had a three-hour drive home. She’d been surprised to discover that even after her diagnosis, Julia had had the presence of mind to outline the service she wanted—right down to the people she had wanted to be invited. Helen had dutifully contacted all requested parties; some were friends of Ellen.
Julia had frequently visited Julia’s only sibling. Ellen had died two years earlier; cancer was in their genes. With neither of them having any offspring, this was the end of their family tree. Of course, in Julia’s case, she’d housed many children over the years, a few of whom had made the journey today. It warmed Helen’s heart to think of the number of lives Julia had changed over the years. As she walked to her car, her mind pitched back to the card attached to the arrangement of white tulips she’d spotted while surveying the funeral flowers. Lexi had obviously been keeping tabs on her, or Julia at least.
On her way home, she detoured to The Oaks; she’d put it off for too long. It was time to clear the decks. She still had the same knot in her stomach as she walked into the reception. She remembered back to the time Kate, or rather Lexi, had been with her, when she’d insisted on driving her. She’d felt so comforted by her presence, even more so as she fell asleep in her arms that night.
Blinking away the image, she informed the receptionist that she’d come to pick up Julia’s belongings. She was quickly whisked away to a storage room. The receptionist picked up a clipboard from the shelving and scanned the paperwork. Julia’s room had obviously been reoccupied in the last week. They certainly didn’t hang around.
Helen felt terrible for not coming earlier. She had wanted to be the one to clear out Julia’s room. But, no matter how much time you had to come to terms with an expected loss, it was still a curveball when it actually happened. Julia had been the only constant in Helen’s life, apart from her job. Julia had picked Helen up and put her back together as best she could after Helen had been removed from her so-called mother. She’d given her everything she could.
Looking around at the names neatly written on the boxes surrounding her, it reminded her of an evidence locker. Julia’s life had been reduced to a box on a shelf.
“I just need your signature here.” The receptionist handed her the clipboard.
She signed against the space marked with an X and took the offered boxes, one stacked on top of the other. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Helen simply nodded before walking away. It was so different being on the other side of those words. The emptiness they held for her now. She hated to think how many times she’d used them in an effort to comfort family members. She had never comprehended how truly meaningless they were.
Helen reluctantly put down the rag she’d been using to stain the newly installed shelving in the front reception room. Whoever was at the door was pretty persistent. She hoped it wasn’t someone from work feeling sorry for her again. She’d taken the standard bereavement leave offered, then extended it—twice. Every time she thought of going back, a cold feeling settled in her stomach. She needed time to think. Lexi’s lies still weighed heavily on her shoulders.
Opening the door, she was faced with a thin elderly man who looked vaguely familiar. “Hello,” she offered, reluctant to let him in without knowing his reason for calling.”
“Helen Taylor?”
“Yes.”
“My name is Emmet Walker.” He handed her a business card. “I was Julia Chamberlain’s solicitor. I’ve been trying to contact you over the last few days.”
“Oh.” There had been several phone calls, but Helen had been avoiding answering them, worried that she’d get roped back in to work if she actually answered. “Come in.”
She stepped aside, closing the door behind him. Her head had been so filled with funeral plans and Lexi’s ultimatum that she’d had little time to think of anything else. Any thought of Julia’s estate had completely slipped her mind.
“Thank you.”
“Please.” Helen gestured for him to follow her through to the dining room. “Would you like some tea?”
“No, thank you.” Emmet Walker set his briefcase down on the table before taking a seat. “Julia came to me a little over two years ago to finalise her will, just after her sister’s death, I believe.”
“I see.” Helen took the seat opposite. She couldn’t imagine Julia having a hidden fortune to bequeath to anyone, not after her care home costs. Helen had paid for the funeral; it was the least she could do considering everything Julia had done for her.
“I won’t take up much of your time. I can see that you’re busy. In short, Miss Taylor, you are the sole beneficiary of Julia Chamberlain’s estate.”
Helen looked down at her dirty hands and paint-streaked clothes.
Emmet Walker pulled a wad of paper from his briefcase. “Along with all Miss Chamberlain’s worldly goods, most of which I believe are in storage at the Secure Store near…” He checked his paperwork. “Great Holcomb, you are also bequeathed all monies in Miss Chamberlain’s accounts, which, after any final bills, adds up to just over twenty-two thousand pounds.”
“Okay.” Considering how long Julia had been resident at The Oaks, the amount was shocking.
“And, of course, the Scarborough property: flat 15a, Seaview Terrace, Scarborough.”
Property “I’m sorry?”
“It belonged to Julia’s sister, Ellen.”
Helen stared at him blankly as the words began to sink in.
“Julia was the sole beneficiary of her sister’s will, and you are now the sole beneficiary of Julia’s will.”
To her surprise, Emmet Walker pulled a set of keys from his briefcase and placed them on the table in front of her.
Although she hadn’t taken Julia’s last name, they were family, and now she was the last of the line. She was alone for the first time in her life. There was nothing left for her now in Warner. She couldn’t just go back to work as if nothing had happened, of that she was certain. With Kate—no, with Lexi—she’d had a glimpse of something, something that had set her world on fire. If she stayed, she’d wither up and die, consumed by her own loneliness.
It was down to Helen to change that. She needed to put herself first for once. With no work colleagues or family to question her decisions, there was no fear of suffering their disappointment. Julia had been a precious lifeline for her over thirty years ago when she’d first come into her life. She’d given her a chance when her own mother was incapable of caring. Now Julia was doing it all over again. She owed it to her to make the most of it. The money she’d bequeathed would tide her over till she settled in somewhere else, at least. With no ties to anyone or anything, she was finally free to decide where exactly this opportunity would take her.
Chapter 25
Two Months Later
Lexi gripped the rail at the end of the pier. The bitter costal wind made the metal feel like ice in her hands. The sound of a police siren in the distance made her stomach begin to churn. She quietly regretted her romanticised, if not stupid, idea of meeting at the end of a pier. She frantically looked around. There was no escape except for the harsh sea below.
She had been both dreading and looking forward to this meeting in equal measure since the night she’d left Warner, convinced that it wouldn’t go the way she wanted. Would Helen see a future with her after what she’d done? The guilt Lexi felt had congealed over the last two months, reduced to a hardened lump in the pit of her stomach.
Considering Helen’s recent loss, who knew if she was even going to appear? She knew how hard Helen would have taken the death of the only woman she could call a mother. When Lexi had read the news, she could only think of her need to comfort Helen.
The sky was full of blustery grey clouds, darkening to the horizon. Le
xi always liked this place, even on the worst of days.
Risking a quick look back to the seafront, she saw the police car speeding along the front, the siren now turned off, lights still flashing.
“They’re not here for you.”
Lexi turned fully to see Helen holding two takeaway hot drinks. She looked good, fresh-faced, the dark circles that had laid heavy under her eyes all but gone. She even showed a hint of a grin at Lexi’s obvious anxiousness. Helen’s casual approach eased some of the butterflies frantically moving around Lexi’s stomach.
“Really?” she asked, seeking further confirmation.
“Really. I got you a hot chocolate,” Helen replied, offering one of the cups.
“Thanks.”
Lexi reached for the drink with both hands. The warmth from the cup instantly brought her fingers back to life. Near the shoreline over Helen’s shoulder, two police officers were exiting one of the shops with another figure in tow.
Helen turned her head, following Lexi’s line of sight.
“They’re picking up a guy called Paul O’Brien. I recognised him when I got the drinks. Disappeared when he was released on bail from Manchester over a year ago. I had to look at his ugly mug on a poster in the station every day for months.”
Lexi was genuinely impressed by Helen’s attention to detail. She looked across at Helen’s profile. Her hair had gone wild in the wind, but she looked calm and relaxed. As she gazed out to the horizon, she wondered what Helen was thinking about.
“Always on duty, huh?” Lexi offered, she felt heat of desire rise to her cheeks despite the cool breeze.
“Not anymore,” Helen answered, mirroring Lexi’s position as she looked out to sea, resting her forearms on the handrail.
Lexi swallowed hard, trying to hide her surprise at Helen’s news. She struggled to meet Helen’s gaze, unsure of what she would find waiting for her. Resentment for pushing her into an untenable situation, maybe. “What?” she asked in confusion.
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