Whatever it is he’s saying, Macie is watching him with her eyes wide open in surprise. I move my gaze back to Gavin and try to focus on his mouth. I hope to be able to read his lips, but it’s no use. The harder I try to force the dizziness away, the worse it gets. So I just stare at him instead.
When he finishes, he leans forward, keeping his eyes on mine, and I wonder if he’s going to kiss me again, but he sighs and steps back instead.
The dizziness slowly ebbs and dies away. I smile at him and cup my hand along the side of his face, enjoying the roughness of the stubble on his jaw against my palm. “Thank you.”
He clears his throat and steps away. “We’d better get going.” He shoots another glare at Macie. “Before she turns us in.”
“I’m not going to turn you in,” she says softly. “But yes, you better get going. The Guards will be here any moment to make sure everyone is at Festival.”
I slide off the stool, but sway when a wave of dizziness washes over me. Gavin grabs my good arm to steady me, while Macie grabs the other. I cry out, the red flash of pain making me even dizzier.
Gavin pulls me away and steps between us. “Leave her alone! Are you trying to kill her?”
I gape at him. I’ve never heard him raise his voice before.
Macie’s eyes flash. “Of course not. I was trying to help her.”
“Yeah, right. You just said you wouldn’t help her. Because of me. And if that’s the kind of help you’re offering, we’re better without it. Now get out of the way.” He pushes past her, gently pulling me with him.
“It wasn’t because of you,” she says. “But she’s right. No matter what she’s done to me, she’s still my best friend and I can’t just watch her die.”
I stop, and even though Gavin tugs on my hand to keep going, I turn to face her. “What do you mean? What did I do to you?”
She frowns and her eyes harden again. “Mother revoked the coupling.”
“What? Why?” I ask, but I fear I already know the answer.
She tilts her head. “She knew I’d helped you before. I don’t know how, especially since I didn’t have to fudge the results. He does have the perfect genetics. But I had all my privileges revoked. That includes my Coupling License.”
“Oh, Macie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t think—” I take a step toward her to give her a hug and try to fix what I’ve done, but she backs away.
“No, you didn’t,” she says, her tone harsh. Gavin makes a sound in his throat, but she doesn’t let him speak. “But that doesn’t give me the excuse to just let you die. Come on. Both of you. You can stay with me until we come up with a better plan.”
She brushes past the both of us and stops just this side of the door, looking back when she notices we haven’t moved.
“No. We just need your computer access credentials. We need to put ourselves back into the computer. Find a real map of the facility. And—” I stop myself from talking, because I don’t know how much I should tell her. I still trust her, but I’ve gotten her into enough trouble. I really don’t want her to get into more. Finally, I say, “Then we’ll be on our way.” There’s no way I’m going to let her get in more trouble because of me.
She shakes her head. “I can’t help you.”
Gavin and I exchange a look. “Why not?” he asks. He crosses his arms over his chest. It’s not hard to see he doesn’t trust a word she says.
She glares at him. “Mother took my privileges away, Surface Dweller. Remember? That includes my computer access. I can’t even work.”
“Then what are you doing here?” I look over her workspace. For the first time I notice her desk is completely bare. Not even the microscope is there. Underneath the desk is a box filled to the brim with her possessions. I recognize the statuette of a cat I gave her for Christmas last year. Even though it’s on the top and protected by clear plastic bubble wrap, I can see the pink ears sticking out the top.
“Cleaning out my desk,” she says. “I’ve been fired. Once I return to my quarters, I’m on house arrest while I await my new designation.”
Gavin turns toward me. It’s clear he has no clue what she’s talking about. “What does that mean?”
I ignore him. “What about your coworkers? Can you get into their computer profiles? Surely you can’t be the only one with the same credentials.”
She lets out a loud sigh, but goes to another station. She plugs a series of numbers and letters into the terminal and a screen pops up. For the next few minutes, she swipes, taps, and types into different programs and screens. Finally, she turns around with a frown. “I can’t access Mother’s computer from this terminal. She’s implanted new security protocols. I’ll try another terminal that should be able to access her files no matter what.”
I nod and wait, impatiently tapping my fingers on one of the lab benches. When we’re on the final terminal and after several attempts, the computer buzzes again. She drags a hand through her hair and turns to me.
“I’m sorry, but it seems that Mother’s got her computer locked up tighter than a clam with lockjaw. There’s no way I can access anything you want from here.”
Gavin turns to me. “What does that mean?”
I sigh, feeling a weight as heavy as bricks weigh down on me. “It means that I’m going to have to go back to the Palace Wing and hack into Mother’s computer manually in order to gain access to the files we need.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Greed has poisoned men’s souls. Surface Dwellers have destroyed what was once beautiful and turned it into a ghostly illusion of what they call peace. But down here, we have real peace. There will be no fear, or sickness, hunger, hate, or greed. We have created our Utopia. And it is magnificent.
—MOTHER, FROM FOUNDING SPEECH
Gavin gapes at me. “We have to go back to the Palace Wing?”
“No.” He sighs in relief, but I keep going. “I have to go back to the Palace Wing.”
“Not without me you’re not. We’re a team. You need me.”
“You don’t know the area. You’ll only be a hindrance.” He jerks like I’ve hit him and pain fills his eyes. I pause, thinking I know the reason he’s worried. “I’m not going to leave you. I’ll come back for you once I fix things.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not what I’m worried about. I know you’ll come back. If you’re alive. But it’s the alive part I’m worried about. You’re already wounded. It’s only going to get worse. You need my help.”
I open my mouth to argue, but Macie cuts me off. “We don’t have time for this. The Guards are going to come by any minute. If they catch us here, we’re going to be in trouble. We have to figure out a way to get by those turrets and cams, though.”
I shrug. “That’s the easy part. We’ll just go the way we came to get here. Through the maintenance tunnels.”
Her face lights up. “Yes. That’s perfect! Go on. I’ll meet you at my quarters.”
She guards us while we climb back into the maintenance tunnels and then shuts the grate behind us.
I really hate these tunnels. They’re worse than the Detainment Center.
Even though Gavin can see straight up my dress, I take point. He wants to be behind me in case I get dizzy and fall. I’m not sure how that would be much better, since I’d just end up causing us both to fall, but there’s no shaking him. He’s nothing if not persistent. And I can’t help but wonder if his refusal to let me go last has something to do with him not wanting me to go to the Palace Wing by myself. Is he worried that I’ll run while he’s climbing the ladder?
I have to admit it’s a good idea, but it’s too late now. I’m already halfway up and he’s close behind. I reach for another rung but my bad arm, which already feels like I’m ripping it apart, gives out on me. I slip and only catch myself from falling into Gavin by centimeters. When my body weight jerks my good arm out of socket, I bite back a scream.
A red wave of pain causes my head to spin and my stomach to roll. F
earing I’m not going to make it up into the tunnel before I get sick, I grit my teeth against the excruciating pain and pull myself up with my bad arm ladder rung by torturous rung.
Through the buzzing in my head I hear Gavin, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. It doesn’t matter, though, because I finally make it to the top. Belly crawling over the top of the ladder, I use my legs to propel me forward, then squirm on my hand and knees until I can’t move any farther. My stomach heaves and I gag, trying not to vomit. This isn’t the place. But pain is still bursting throughout my shoulders. I finally give up and lay facedown on the concrete of the tunnel. The surface is blissfully cool against my skin.
After a few seconds the buzzing in my ears stop, but the world hasn’t stopped spinning.
Gavin carefully wriggles over me and kneels next to my head. He brushes the hair away from my face. “Evie, what happened?”
I’m afraid to open my mouth. My stomach is still topsy-turvy. Squeezing my eyes shut, I gasp out, “Arm gave out. Slipped. Caught myself. Other arm out of socket.”
Gavin sucks in air through his teeth, then gently rolls me over onto my back. The movement causes both my arms to explode with fresh pain, and I bite back a scream.
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I know it hurts,” Gavin says, “but I have to look at it.” When I signal for him to continue, he prods around one shoulder and then the other, while I continue to grit my teeth and try not to scream. I don’t know who’s in the tunnels and I really don’t want to draw attention to us.
“You’re bleeding again,” Gavin says, his tone sounding oddly flat. “And your other arm is out of joint. I can put it back in, but it’s going to hurt like hell.”
Oh, how the roles have changed, I think, remembering how only days ago I’d said almost the same to him.
I open my eyes and stare into his. “Do it.”
He swallows, then grabs my arm, and yanks as hard as he can, pushing with his legs on one wall and using the other wall against his back as leverage. There’s a white-hot flash of pain and my head swims again, before darkness leaks in.
It’s a blur for a while, but I fight the unconsciousness while he wraps more bandages around the arm that was shot. The next thing I know, I’m being asked if I think I can keep moving.
“I think so. But it’ll be slow going.”
“It’s okay,” Gavin says. “We’re not in any hurry. Just go as fast as you can. I’ll be right behind you.”
It’s a painstakingly slow journey to the ladder to Macie’s quarters, but we finally make it.
I stare down into the reddish light and darkness of the ladder well. “I don’t think I can go down on my own.”
There’s silence behind me and I glance over my shoulder to see Gavin watching me with a considering look on his face.
After a few seconds he nods to himself. “Right. Well, you’ll just have to ride piggyback.”
“What?” I ask.
“I’ll carry you. Just hang on to me.”
It worries me that he may not be able to handle both our weights on the ladder, but I don’t have a choice. He scoots by me and takes a few steps down before I carefully crawl onto his back. I grip him around the waist with my legs, using my thigh muscles to carry most of my weight.
He slowly lowers us to the ground. When we reach the floor, my legs wobble, and I crash onto the floor.
Gavin sits next to me. “Are you okay?” I nod and he’s silent for another minute before he asks, “Are you sure we can trust her?”
“You asked me that before,” I say. “My answer hasn’t changed.” I try to stand, but he stops me.
“But she already said she wouldn’t help us.”
“Because the last time she did, she got punished. But she didn’t run to tell the Guards or Mother. We can trust her.” I push him away and this time he doesn’t stop me.
“It could be a trap to get you back into the Palace.”
“It’s not.”
“But—”
“It’s not, Gavin. I know her as well as I know myself. It’s not a trap.”
He meets my eyes and his are swirling with so many emotions, I can’t distinguish one from the next. “How well do you know yourself, though? Really?”
He has a point, and it stings, but we don’t have a choice, just like he didn’t have any other choice but to trust me.
“You may be right,” I say slowly, “but it’s better to move forward at this point than to sit around and wait for Mother to find us. It’s only a matter of time and, at this moment, we have the power of surprise on our side. She has no idea what we know. Or what we’re doing.”
Gavin looks at me, considering. “Why is it so important to get into Mother’s computer again?”
“I have to get to Mother’s computer because it can put us back into the system so the turrets and cams don’t take notice of us. And because she probably has the only true map of the facility, which while not strictly mandatory since we have the journal telling us how to get to the submarines, there might be something in this area we can use instead. The quicker we get out of here the better, and even if there isn’t any other emergency exit, then knowing what the scientist was talking about regarding EMFs would be extremely beneficial to me, since I know EMFs can damage my nanos. So if there is one, I need to know how to deal with it. Mother, I’m sure, has detailed instructions on the things. For her own safety, if nothing else.” And, of course, to find out what Mother was planning for me since I know the truth about almost everything else now. But I don’t tell him that, I just say instead, “And since no matter whose credentials we used, we couldn’t access her system, I have to go and get on to it manually.”
“You’re set on going to the Palace Wing, then?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m going with you,” he says.
“No. You’re not.”
“I am. You can’t stop me. You couldn’t even make it up the ladder by yourself. You need me.”
I don’t say anything. I know he thinks I’ve given up and will let him go, but I’ve already made up my mind and no amount of arguing is going to change it. I will go to the Palace Wing by myself. I’ll just have to find a way to keep him from following me, which will be easier said than done.
Despite the fact I’d told Gavin the truth—I trust Macie completely—my heart beats a little faster. It is also completely possible I don’t know her as well as I think I do.
People do things that are completely out of character for them in the name of love. And there is no doubt in my mind how much Macie loves Nick.
But we’d been friends for so long. Would her disappointment over Nick be enough for her to betray me?
Turns out I have no reason to worry because Macie is alone and waiting for us next to the grate, and she quickly ushers us into her quarters before anyone can see us. She narrows her eyes when she sees there’s more bandaging on me, but doesn’t ask.
I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
The apartment is the same as every other apartment in the Residential Sector. But it’s smaller than the one we broke into in the abandoned Sector, since she’s sixteen and living on her own. If she and Nick became Coupled, they’d get a larger “family apartment.”
I sit on the couch and drink the water she offers, but Gavin is far less trusting—not that I blame him—and stops me from drinking the water until he’s had a chance to scrutinize it. He gives it back to me with a huff. Then he searches her quarters for anyone that shouldn’t be there.
Macie doesn’t stop him or go with him, and in fact appears amused when he finally settles himself next to me and reluctantly takes his own glass, studying it carefully as well.
“Don’t trust me, Surface Dweller?” she asks.
“No,” he says flatly.
“Good,” she says. “That makes two of us. I don’t trust you, either. I’m positive you’re using her and I will prove it, but for now we have to get along.” She glances at me. �
��For her sake, if nothing else.”
The two nod at each other and, while there is still a heavy feel to the room, the tension decreases.
When my stomach rumbles, Macie smiles at me. “Hungry?”
I nod and she lifts an eyebrow at Gavin, who sighs, but also nods. When she gets up, I realize this may be the only opportunity I have. Gavin will be upset, but there’s no other option. If I stand any chance of getting to the computer and back alive, he can’t be with me.
I stand, grateful I’m not dizzy. “I’ll help you get everything together,” I say to Macie.
She nods and leads the way to her kitchen.
Gavin stands, but I gesture for him to sit. “Please. Let me have a few minutes alone with her. I need to try and fix this. I don’t want to leave it like this.”
He sits back down. “I’ll be waiting right here.”
Feeling grateful that he trusts me and guilty that I’m using it against him, I go into the kitchen. Macie is looking into the refrigerator, pulling out ingredients for sandwiches.
The minute the door closes behind me, I say, “Where’s the maintenance entry?”
Macie turns, her face scrunched up in confusion, holding two jars in her hands. “I’m sorry?”
“Your maintenance entry. Where is it?”
She slowly places the jars on the counter. “Why?”
I fight the urge to yell at her. “Because in order to get our DNA back in the computer, I need to use the tunnels,” I say.
She stares at the door to the living room as if she can see through it. “What about him? He doesn’t trust me. He’s going to think I sent you to your death or something.” The smile she’s wearing slips off her face and she pales. “I could very well be sending you off to your death.”
Renegade Page 17
