Body Heart Soul (Blind Vows #2)

by J. M. Witt

  “Who is it?”

  If he knew it was a man I was interested in, things would just get worse. “A friend, a patient. He’s having a hard time since returning home. I’m just trying to help him.” Another knock came.

  Leaning in closer, his sour breath filled my nostrils, “Get rid of him.”

  “I, can I have a robe or something? Please, Saul. You don’t want him to see me naked do you?”

  He yanked the robe down off my door and threw it at me. “Hurry up.” I slid the robe around my body as he warned me, “Don’t try anything, Desiree. Be a good girl.” I just nodded before leaving the room.

  The walk from my bedroom to the front door was one of the longest of my life. I wanted so badly to sprint to the door, to safety, to O. But was I willing to risk O’s safety? He was bigger than Saul, he could take him, but Saul had my gun. He’d pulled it out of the back of his pants and waved it at me after I’d sat down on the bed. I couldn’t risk O’s life. Now, what to tell him to get rid of him. The tears were already threatening, my throat ached with unshed tears, and my body trembled.

  Opening the door a crack, I peered out at him. He was holding a bouquet of flowers in various shades of white and pink. They were beautiful.

  “You’re not ready. I know I’m early. Sorry.” He went to take a step toward me and I cowered back. His brows narrowed as he apologized again. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed you got my text. It was rude of me…”

  “O, please. I can’t go out with you tonight.” My chest constricted as I said it, but it had to be done.

  “I, uh, I don’t understand.” His eyes ran the length of my body and then he asked, “Are you not feeling well? Can I get you anything?”

  “Jesus! Stop being so nice and dense.” He flinched at my words and the tone I used. I had to hurt him. It was the only way. “I’m fine, just a little preoccupied.” I fingered the sash of my satin robe as I shrugged my shoulders. “He showed up last night and we…”

  He looked crushed and then I saw the anger as he spit out, “He who? What the hell is going on, Des?”

  “An old flame, no one we’ve talked about,” that was mostly true. I hadn’t discussed Saul with him. “He was here when I got home from work last night, and, well, I didn’t go in to work.” The knife was already in, time to turn it, “We’ve been in bed all day.”

  O took a step back, running his fingers through his tousled hair. He stood there a second, not making eye contact. I caught the slight shake of his head as he took another step back, the flowers now hanging at his side. He started to speak and then shut his mouth before turning away and walking toward the elevator.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I meant those words. If only he knew what was really happening.

  His free hand just flew up in the air, waving me off as he shouted, “Have a nice life, Des.”

  I couldn’t bear to watch him get in the elevator and closed the door. Finally someone had sparked a hope inside me, a spark of happily ever after, of finding love after thirty. That spark was O. Now it was gone, he was gone. The tears were pouring down my face and I didn’t realize it until their saltiness wetted my lips. I was about to reopen the door and run for my life when Saul appeared in front of me. The scream I started to let out was muted the minute his fist met my face.

  ~ DESiree ~

  ~ Chapter 6 ~

  I still don’t talk about what happened over the next thirty six hours. It’d happened before and we all had our ways of coping. This time, I didn’t call the cops. They couldn’t protect me—hadn’t protected me—and I wasn’t ready to let them prove that again. Saul let me live which only meant one thing; he’d be back and I’d be ready. The only problem was I never knew if it’d be a day, a week, a month, or a year.

  I took the next week off work, siting a family emergency, but knowing it was because even the best makeup couldn’t hide all the bruises. By Tuesday I’d already signed back up for kickboxing, had cameras installed, and changed the locks. Tomorrow I would get back to the range and possibly invest in a new pistol. Of course a shotgun sounded good too. Surely that would blow a hole in him big enough to kill him.

  Wednesday evening I was soaking in the tub, my new shotgun only an arm’s length away, when someone began pounding on my front door. I flew out of the tub, water splashing everywhere. I ran through to my bedroom and made sure the door was locked. Yes, I’d had a deadbolt put on my bedroom door as well.

  “Des! I know you’re in there. Your car’s in the lot. Please open up. I need to talk to you.”

  It was O. My body immediately ached for him. He’d tried calling earlier in the day, but sent no text. I couldn’t see him. If I saw him there was a good chance I’d never let him out of my sight again. He was a good man; that much I knew, even if I’d only spent a handful of occasions with him. And I wanted him, I couldn’t deny it

  “I’ll kick down the door, Des. You have ten seconds!” He couldn’t be serious. What had him so suspicious? Then I heard him start to count down. “Ten! Nine! Eight!”

  He wasn’t going to kick down my door…was he? Surely the neighbors would call the cops. Shit, not a single person had called over the weekend and there were a few times I was certain someone would with the fight I was putting up with Saul.

  BAM! “Three!”

  “Fuck.” I unbolted my bedroom door after putting on my robe, leaving the shotgun on the bed, and rushed to the front door. I began opening the front door just as he bellowed ‘ONE’.

  “Have you lost your mind, O?”

  He just stared at me, his lips parted as he panted, and his eyes scrunched together as he looked over my face. My face. Shit. I lowered it, my hand at my brow. I wasn’t even sure if he saw the bruises.

  “Des, what’s going on? I called work on Monday and you weren’t there. Called again yesterday. Same thing. Today I stopped in. The girls confirmed that you were at work on Friday, but you had an emergency to tend to this week. Why did you lie to me?”

  I was at a loss for words. I wanted to throw myself in his arms, but I had to get him to leave. I couldn’t involve him. Trying to close the door, he immediately stuck his foot in the jamb, stopping me. My eyes darted to his face and that’s when I knew he saw the bruises. His face paled and then he shoved past me and into my apartment.

  “Where is he?” He disappeared into my bedroom and emerged with the shotgun. Holding it up with one hand, he pointed at it with the other as he asked, “What the fuck, Des?” I shut the front door, locking it before leaning against it. My legs quickly gave way as I curled into myself on the floor. He was at my side immediately. His voice was soft and full of concern, “I’ll fucking kill him.”

  “Not if I do first.”

  He scooped me up and set me down in his lap on the couch. “Des, we need to call the police.” My head on his shoulder, I just shook my head in refusal. “What do you mean ‘No’? They need to know what happened.” He took a deep breath. “Jesus. What happened?”

  “I can’t, O. I can’t let it happen again and I can’t tell you. I’ll kill myself before he hurts me again.”

  The tears rolled down my cheeks as I felt his fingers under my chin. He traced the bruises gently and apologized over and over again. “This is my fault. He was here on Friday wasn’t he? Why didn’t you say something? I would’ve protected you.”

  Sobbing and with big breaths I cried out, “I couldn’t risk you getting hurt. I still can’t.” I tried climbing off his lap as I continued babbling, “You should leave. I have to keep you safe.”

  Pulling me back to his lap he announced, “That’s my job.” He grew quiet as I burrowed into the safety and warmth of his body. “I’m so sorry, Des. I knew something was off, but, I…Fuck! I’m an idiot.”

  A long time passed, I may have even fallen asleep on him. It was easy to do considering the lack of sleep I’d gotten over the past five days. His hands were wearing a path over my back as I risked looking to his face. We didn’t speak, almost as if
no words needed to be said. He stroked my face and kissed my forehead before resting his own against it. I needed to hold him closer, believe he was real, and so I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him with all I had.

  Softly in my ear I heard his tender words, “I can’t believe I almost lost you. I can’t get you out of my head, Des. Believe me, I tried.” His hands were running through my hair and then cupping my neck, pressing me closer. “I shouldn’t be talking like this. It’s the last thing you need.”

  “It’s everything I need. I need you, O and it scares me to death. I’ve never needed anyone.”

  Pulling back he cupped my face between his hands, “I need you, too. I know it’s too soon, but fuck it. I’m falling for you, Des.”

  My voice shook as I admitted to him, “I’m falling too, O.”

  I knew he wanted to kiss me and I wanted to kiss him, but he was hesitant and I understood why. Pulling him closer, I took the lead and placed my lips against his. It was a soft, tender, and sweet kiss with very little tongue. Removing my lips from his, I hugged him tightly again.

  “Des, have you seen a doctor? You could have serious injuries.”

  “No, but I’m ok.”

  “Des! I, shit, I don’t, did he? I mean, you should probably get tested.”

  “I have an appointment tomorrow.”

  “Can I please convince you to talk to the cops? I’ll come with you. They need to know. This fucker needs to be locked up. And, you’re not staying here.” He set me down next to him like I was a small child and stood up. Walking to the front door, he opened it and peered into the hallway. “I see you got cameras. Were they here Friday?”

  “No. I just had them installed.”

  He exhaled sharply. “New locks.” He walked back to my bedroom. “Shit, you put a lock here, too? Guess that makes sense. Yup, let’s go. Pack your things.”

  “O, I’m not leaving.”

  “The fuck you aren’t. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you stay here. Alone or with a platoon of soldiers. Not. Happening.” He sat back down next to me. “He’s proven you’re not safe here. I can’t let you sit here like bait. Please, Des. See reason.”

  I knew he was right. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”

  Tilting his head, he half smiled at me. “Um, hello? You can stay with me.”

  “I don’t know. I, I thought you wanted to take things slow?” He just looked at me. “I promised myself I wouldn’t live with a man ever again unless we were married.” He was still smirking and I felt embarrassed. “I know it’s silly. It’s just...”

  “You’ve been burned one too many times?”

  “Yes. I can call my cousin. I’m sure she’ll let me crash on her couch.”

  “Nope. Not happening. I have two bedrooms if that’ll make you more comfortable.”

  I didn’t want a separate bedroom from him, but having my own meant we weren’t living together, not like that. “Umm, I guess that could work.”

  ~ DESiree ~

  ~ Chapter 7 ~

  I agreed to go to the police station the next day as long as O went with me, knowing what they’d ask me to do and knowing it’d be pointless. I needed his support and he gave it tenfold. We packed my bags and drove to his apartment, leaving my car behind for now. He showed me around his place. It was similar in size to mine, but not as updated, though he had two bedrooms.

  That first night as he moved some things out of his bedroom, I pleaded with him, “O, this isn’t necessary. I can take the other room.”

  “Yes it is. We’re taking this slow. You need time.”

  I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “Thank you. For everything.”

  “You don’t need to thank me. I’d give you the world if I could.”

  “I’m beginning to believe that.”

  He kissed the top of my head before pulling back. “You should get some sleep.”

  I just nodded and watched him walk out of the bedroom. I could hear him shuffling around in the room next door and wondered what he was doing. Not wanting to pry, I just closed the door and sat down on his bed. Pulling a pillow to my chest, I inhaled his scent and rolled to my side.

  When I woke, the overhead light had been turned off, but a nightlight shone in the corner, and a blanket covered me. I got undressed and searched my bag for something to wear when I spotted a clothes hamper. The clothes were probably dirty and I didn’t care. Digging through, I quickly found a t-shirt and when I held it to my nose, I knew it would be perfect. Slipping it over my naked torso, it hung just below my panties. I crawled under the covers and laid there for what seemed like hours.

  Sighing, I grabbed my phone off the night stand and scrolled through my playlist. I settled on Lana Del Ray’s Young And Beautiful and replayed it over and over. The song easing some worries and making others worse. Would he still love me when I was pushing fifty and him barely forty? I was being absurd. Eventually sleep found me, Lana still singing me to sleep.

  The next morning I woke to a scuffle happening at the foot of my bed.

  “Jesus! Get off of me, O. What the fuck?”

  I was sitting up, clutching the blankets under my chin as I saw a bare chested O reach his arm out to someone. Another tanned and muscled arm grabbed his and soon two totally different, yet equally gorgeous men stood in front of me.

  The stranger looked to me and smiled. “Sorry. I didn’t realize my brother had company. He’s not one to entertain the ladies as of late.” His eyes roamed my body, like he could see what was under the covers. “Seems to me that’s changed and I can see why.” O grabbed him by the back of the shoulders and pushed him from the room as his brother laughed.

  “Shut up, Will.” The door closed and I exhaled, finally able to breathe again. The door cracked open again and O smiled at me. “Sorry. I kind of have an open door policy with my brothers. That’ll change today.”

  “It’s ok. Just frightened me.” I looked to the clock. “Wow. It’s late.

  “I’m going to make some breakfast. Any requests?”

  “Coffee?”

  “I hooked up your Keurig. It’s waiting for you.” It was the one small appliance I insisted on bringing. Never left home without it. He winked at me and then nodded toward the bathroom. “It’s small, but there’s towels in there. We should head out soon.”

  “Ok.” I smiled and he shut the door. Climbing out of bed, I walked into the bathroom. He was right. It was small, but it would work just fine.

  When I got out of the shower, my phone blaring music in the small bathroom, I’ll admit I did some snooping. I don’t know what I was looking for, but all I found was what anyone would expect to find. Razors, shaving cream, toothpaste, deodorant, and other things a man would have. No condoms. I shrugged it off. He probably kept them elsewhere. He was right anyway. I wasn’t quite ready for that no matter how my body reacted to his. Thank God my mind was great at compartmentalizing.

  Pulling the towel from my head, my hair cascaded down my back in tangled waves. I hung the discarded towel on the back of the door and walked back into the bedroom. Replay by Zendaya started playing and I couldn’t help but move to the beat. Pulling the other towel from my body, I lifted my legs one at a time to the side of the bed and dried them off. My arms were next as my hips swayed back and forth. When I turned around my eyes landed on him.

  Jumping back I gasped, “Shit!” Clutching the towel to my chest, I tried covering up.

  His eyes traveled up my body and locked on my eyes. “Music’s a little loud, don’t you think?” Then he smirked.

  Shaking my head, “Nope. I like it loud.” I wrapped the towel around me and his eyes didn’t drift from mine once. He took a step toward me as I swallowed hard. “Did you need something?”

  Leaning around me, my heart pounding in response to him being so near, he opened the chest of drawers behind me. “Clothes.” He waved some fabric in front of me that I didn’t quite make out before turning toward the door.

&nbs
p; Then it dawned on me that he took clothes out the night before. “What happened to the clothes you took out of here last night?” Turning to look at me, his eyes full of mischief, he just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Do I need to worry that you’re a voyeur, O?”

  He chuckled and responded, “With you?” His eyes moved over my body and then back to my eyes. “Most definitely.” My knees grew weak and it took all I had not to collapse on the bed or throw myself at him. “Breakfast’s ready. I’m going to shower.” The door closed and I dropped to the bed.

  After dressing I made my way to the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks. His brother, I think he said his name was Will, was sitting at the small kitchen table. O could’ve warned me. I took a deep breath and walked past him, straight for the Keurig. I popped a kcup in and waited.

  “So, Des is it?” I turned to look at him, smiling softly. He wore glasses, had a light stubble, his hair was styled perfectly, unlike O’s unkempt hair, and he was just as hot. Muscles pulled at the fabric of his too tight shirt.

  “Yes. Will?” He stood and shook my hand, nodding.

  “Aren’t you a little old for my brother?” What the fuck? I’m certain my eyes nearly popped from my head at the question. My mouth burst open for a response and closed again.

  Finally, I said, “Age is just a number.”

  He studied me and had the nerve to tell me he didn’t care. “I don’t care. O already told me. I just want him to be happy. He hasn’t stopped talking about you the past couple weeks, maybe longer.”

  Will didn’t say anything more. Was he warning me? I wasn’t quite sure and before I had a chance to ask, O reappeared. He looked to me and back to Will and it was like he knew what had transpired.

  “Lay off, Will.” Will lifted his hands in surrender and took a drink of his coffee. O walked over to me and kissed the top of my head. “Did you sleep ok?” I nodded and turned back to my coffee which was now done.